Buhari | Page 4 of 8

On July 13th, 2022, Nigeria’s National Population Commission (NPC) kicked off a trial phase for a census, an official survey of the population of the country.

Buhari is designated number one on the list

The dress rehearsal is one of the major preliminary activities to determine the NPC’s readiness for the main population and housing census in 2023.

It represents a major step in Nigeria’s bid to conduct a census after postponements every year since 2016. The point of a census is pretty straightforward — it provides vital information about the inhabitants of an area. But its execution in Nigeria hasn’t always been as straightforward.

History of census in Nigeria

The first population census in Nigeria’s recorded history happened in 1866 but was restricted to the Lagos Colony and its environs under colonial rule. The headcount started to hold every 10 years after the 1871 census was followed by others in 1881, 1891 and 1901.

The census conducted in 1911 extended to other parts of the Southern Protectorate, and the next one in 1921 extended to the Northern Protectorate, after the 1914 amalgamation of both regions.

Another census took place in 1931, before Nigeria conducted its first comprehensive nationwide census in 1952 – 1953. The latter determined the political distribution of seats in Nigeria’s post-independence parliament.

When the first post-independence census was conducted in 1962, it was cancelled over allegations of fraud and political interference. The government conducted another census in 1963 and ended up with 55.7 million residents on paper. The tally was contested all the way to the Supreme Court which upheld its validity.

The 1973 census pegged Nigeria’s population at 79.8 million but the government never officially accepted the result. Critics said the numbers were falsified for political and ethnic advantages.

The 1991 census is regarded as one of Nigeria’s most unproblematic, alongside the 2006 census that pegged Nigeria’s population at 140.4 million. But they didn’t escape allegations of manipulation.

There’s always someone like this after every Nigerian census

Nigeria’s attempt to conduct a census since another ten-year period elapsed in 2016 has hit several roadblocks, until now.

ALSO READ: How to Become a Gun Owner in Nigeria

Why conduct a census?

A census isn’t that much different from tracking what’s in your bank account. Why do countries place so much importance on it?

It provides a rich source of information

The most useful advantage of a census is it provides the government with the most appropriate data than any other survey. A census isn’t just a head count. It’s a process primed to extract reliable, representative and accurate information.

It helps with planning for development

The detailed demographic and socioeconomic information that a census provides can have a significant impact on the lives of citizens as it determines many variables. Census data can be used to plan and deliver services more efficiently for social, economic and infrastructural development. For example, if a census shows a pattern of more aged people in an area, it can help determine what specific resources to funnel there.

It determines political representation

The result of a census is also crucial to determining political representation. The 1999 constitution (as amended) allows periodic reviews of the division of states into senatorial districts and federal constituencies based on census data. This means the result of a census can determine how many representatives a state can send to the Federal House of Representatives based on distribution.

It helps with making business decisions

The result of a census is also valuable to businesses that need data on the communities they serve. The decision to start a new business, open a new branch of an existing business or what new products to offer can be made more efficient with census data.

Why Nigeria has troubles with census

Conducting a population census is a very expensive and labour-intensive process. This is one of the major reasons why Nigeria hasn’t been able to conduct a new one since 2016. Senators weren’t too happy in 2021 when the NPC budgeted over N400 billion for the process. The Federal Government eventually settled on N177 billion for the 2022 project.

But more than cost, the most common issue with census in Nigeria is the corruption of numbers. The falsification of figures is usually with the intention to skew resource allocation for regional gains. But the digitisation of the ongoing process should help eliminate political interference and manipulation as much as possible.

Without accurate data, it’s impossible for Nigeria to make the most efficient plans for its development. It’s important that we get it right this time around.

ALSO READ: How Nigeria Plans to Recapture Escaped Prison Inmates
If there’s anything remarkable about Nigeria’s problems under the Buhari administration, it’s that anything can land at anybody’s doorstep at any time; anybody can collect when they least expect it.

And with insecurity being one of the country’s biggest problems, even the president isn’t too big to have a taste.

What happened?

On July 5th, 2022, a group of terrorists attacked the presidential convoy near Dutsinma in Katsina State. But President Buhari was missing from the party because the convoy was actually transporting an advance team for the president’s imminent trip to his native Daura to celebrate Sallah. The convoy consisted of security guards and protocol/media officers of the presidency.

According to a statement by presidential spokesperson, Garba Shehu, the terrorists were waiting for the convoy where the attack happened. They opened fire on the convoy and this turned into a gunfight with presidential security personnel. A joint force of soldiers, police officers and agents of the Department of State Services (DSS) contained the attack.

What’s the damage?

Fortunately, nobody died. Two people in the presidential convoy sustained minor injuries and have been treated, while everyone else made it safely to Daura where the president will join them later. The presidency didn’t say if security operatives killed or wounded any of the attackers.

What’s the exposure here?

Despite the escalating insecurity in Nigeria, Buhari has stuck to the claim that it isn’t much of a big deal compared to when he was inaugurated in 2015. In his May 2022 statement marking the end of the Holy month of Ramadan, the president said the battle against terrorists was approaching its end — a worn-out claim he’s used repeatedly since 2015.

It’s custom for President Buhari to spend Sallah in his native Daura. The terrorists definitely knew this, and the fact that they deliberately ambushed his convoy speaks volumes that even the president’s ears shouldn’t miss. But that’s being optimistic.

When he eventually lands in Daura, days from now, for the Sallah celebrations, Buhari should take the time to reflect on his inaccurate claims about how much more secure Nigeria has become under his administration. Because even the people paid to protect his life aren’t safe from the madness.

ALSO READ: How Buhari Has Freed 1,629 “Repentant” Boko Haram Members
The final ceremony that turns a “repentant” Boko Haram terrorist into a responsible member of the Nigerian society is surprisingly glossy. Hundreds of men, dressed in uniform green and white attire, place their hands on the Holy Quran and promise to stop being bad boys. A bunch of people dressed in fancy clothes clap for them. Everybody goes home happy.

This ceremony is the final component of Operation Safe Corridor (OSC).

Safe corridor for who?

In President Buhari’s wisdom, he set up a rehabilitation programme for Boko Haram in 2016. You may remember them as the terrorists that killed over 30,000 people in northern Nigeria from 2009 to 2021.

The goal of Operation Safe Corridor is simple — provide incentives for terrorists to encourage them to stop killing people. The icing on that reward system is forgiveness for their past sins and freedom to return to the communities they used to terrorise.

How does it work?

As a terrorist tired of the bloodlust, all you have to do is surrender to the military. Then you’re screened and enrolled into the OSC programme that promises “de-radicalisation, rehabilitation, and reintegration” (DRR). You then undergo a series of medical screenings, psychological counselling, drug abuse counselling and vocational training, because an idle hand is the devil’s workshop.

Also, the military pumps you full of the western education juice that Boko Haram hates and fights against.

The repentant terrorists are also called “clients” for some reason.

ALSO READ: How Does “Operation Safe Corridor” Work?

What’s the latest?

The Nigerian military rolled out a new batch of graduates of Operation Safe Corridor on March 13th, 2022. 559 clients took the oath to never do terrorist stuff ever again and were dispatched to communities where they’ll be reintegrated. The latest batch increases the number of OSC graduates to 1,629 since the programme launched.

The pipeline of clients is expected to swell over the coming years, as over 5,000 terrorists reportedly surrendered to the military between May 2021 and January 2022 alone.

The government has been loud about the fact that only “low-risk” fighters are admitted into the programme. These low-risk fighters are those that were captured and forced to bear arms for Boko Haram. The government has also denied many claims that the former terrorists are recruited into the Nigerian military.

Who’s not happy with Operation Safe Corridor?

There’s a lot of public hostility towards Operation Safe Corridor. It’d take all day to list the many types of people that are not on board with the programme, but the most important group is the communities expected to accept the repentant terrorists (for obvious reasons). Many of them don’t believe that OSC graduates have changed just because of a few nice words.

What’s worse is, some of these communities are still terrorised by the activities of Boko Haram. Many displaced victims have also not been resettled. These communities don’t understand why they are expected to live happily ever after with their tormentors when the war is still active.

Is Operation Safe Corridor working?

The effectiveness of OSC has been called into question many times. The government points to the volume of people that have surrendered as a success story. But critics don’t think that’s enough.

Thousands of fighters surrendered in 2021 only after the death of longtime Boko Haram leader, Abubakar Shekau. His death left his group weak against the Islamic State West African Province (ISWAP) that has been fighting Boko Haram for territorial control. So, it’s plausible that these men and their families surrendered for survival and not because they’re truly repentant.

It’s difficult to determine how repentant these terrorists are, but the government is not slowing down in graduating them.

ALSO READ: 82 People Killed in 3 Days: Everything We Know About Kebbi Massacres
When President Muhammadu Buhari signed Executive Order 10 two years ago, it was with the best of intentions.

There is no precise judicial definition of what an executive order is but think of it as a wuru wuru to the answer kind of legislation. It allows a president to issue a directive without going through the painful process of begging the National Assembly for approval.

“Serve me 10 cups of executive orders, please.”

What is Executive Order 10?

Money makes the world go round, and this is especially true for Nigerian politics.

The key goal of Buhari’s Executive Order 10 was to enforce the financial independence of the state legislature and judiciary whose purse strings are controlled by their governors.

The process currently works in such a way that governors receive allocations for these arms from the Federation Account, but have the final say on what they can let them have.

It’s essentially a parent-child relationship that allows the governors maintain some undue influence on important arms of government that are supposed to be independent and even check them.

If you relied on your parents for weekly allowance, how likely are you to obey their unfair 5 pm curfew order? And would they even take you seriously when you tell them 9 am is too early to be drinking alcohol?

“Hennessy 250

“Ko ma lo ni titi”

This is how state executives currently relate with the legislature and judiciary, but remember that they are supposed to be siblings with equal amount of independence.

Enter ~~the dragon~~ Buhari

Section 121(3) of the 1999 constitution (as amended) stipulates that the amount credited to the judiciary should be paid directly to the heads of courts.

But the governors said, “What is a constitution?” and continue, to this day, to control the tap and do as they wish.

“Economy is hard. Just manage this for now.”

Buhari used Executive Order 10 to empower the Accountant-General of the Federation to deduct directly from the Federation Account the allocations made to any state that fails to release funds meant for its legislature and judiciary.

Governors are sugar daddies to their state legislative and judicial arms, but Buhari’s order established the Federal Government as the alpha sugar daddy.

Pushing his luck further, Buhari said in Executive Order 10 that State Governments must set up committees to determine a workable budget for each arm of the government.

This would be based on the needs communicated by the accounting officers of those arms.

State Judiciary Budget Committees were also to be created to prepare, administer and implement the budgets that meet the needs of the judicial arms.

You say?

Predictably, governors were pissed at Buhari’s meddling into their affairs and told him to sit down in one place.

They said his order was unnecessary and unconstitutional and hinted he doesn’t understand the interpretation of Section 121(3) of the constitution he was using to justify Executive Order 10.

The order was supposed to take effect on May 20, 2020, but a back-and-forth between the governors and the Buhari administration delayed that until a case was filed at the Supreme Court.

A judgement delivered on February 11, 2022 agreed with the governors and established that Buhari was overstepping the limit of his constitutional powers.

Six of the seven-member panel of judges said the Federal Government has no right to tell State Governments how to run their households if there’s no clear constitutional backing.

Justice Uwani Abba-Aji, the only judge who disagreed with the verdict, rebuked the governors for the ‘hanky-panky’ methods they have employed to deny financial independence to their judicial arms.

He noted that Buhari’s Executive Order 10 would have corrected the constitutional wrong being done by the governors.

We imagine Justice Abba-Aji gave his minority verdict like this:

Who won?

Executive orders are not clearly defined in the 1999 constitution, but the Buhari administration has signed 10 of them, after the three presidents before him since 1999 signed a combined total of zero.

Even though they allow presidents to skirt legislative review, they still need to not clash with the constitution.

It is a deliberate mechanism to make sure democratic leaders do not become dictators.

State judiciary and legislature are indeed living in the bondage of their all-powerful ~~sugar daddies~~ governors, but it appears Executive Order 10 won’t be their way out.
Interview With… is a Zikoko weekly series that explores the weird and interesting lives of inanimate objects and non-human entities.

After seven months of being denied entry into Nigeria because of the Twitter ban, the Twitter bird finally regains its freedom. The Nigerian government called off the ban on January 13, 2022.

We knew the Twitter bird would have a lot to say about its experience, so we invited it to our office for an exclusive interview about its time in exile and how it feels to be back and breathing Nigeria’s polluted air.

[Twitter Bird flies in singing “Bird Set Free” by Sia]

Twitter Bird:

Clipped wings, I was a broken thing

Had a voice, had a voice but I could not sing

You would wind me down

I struggled on the ground, oh

So lost, the line had been crossed

Had a voice, had a voice but I could not talk

You held me down.

Zikoko: Wow. Is this Sia or her younger sister?

Twitter Bird: [Sings with more vigour]

And I don’t care if I sing off key

I find myself in my melodies

I sing for love, I sing for me

I’ll shout it out like a bird set free

I’ll shout it out like a bird set free

I’ll shout it out like a bird set free.

Zikoko: Wow, wow. Applaudise!

[Twitter Bird finishes singing, surveys Zikoko’s office and hisses]

Twitter Bird: You people are not ready. [Prepares to fly out]

Zikoko: Ah, please wait. What happened, what did we do?

Twitter Bird: I just came back to this your country. I even sang my freedom anthem, and none of you thought to lay a red carpet down for me?

Zikoko: We appreciate the anthem. In fact, we appreciate everything you have done. But we didn’t lay a red carpet because you fly.

Twitter Bird: You should have laid it on the floor. [Lands on the floor] As you can see, I can also walk. [Flies back up]

Zikoko: Ah, sorry for the lack of initiative. It will not happen again.

Twitter: It better not. Before we even start let me just tell you, if your leaders try to ban me again, it’s goodbye forever. I’ll start a new life elsewhere and forget you.

Zikoko: Nigerians can’t be easily forgotten. In fact, we can boldly say that Nigerian Twitter is one of the best places to be.

Twitter Bird: Then talk to Buhari. I didn’t like being locked away. Every single time Nigerians had to turn on VPN to access me, I felt sad.

Zikoko: Well, you weren’t exactly gone. The VPN was helpful.

Twitter Bird: Yes, it was helpful, but if someone locks the front door and you have to enter through the window, is it still the same thing?

Zikoko: No, it isn’t.

Twitter Bird: Exactly. Anyway, let me sit down. I have a lot of places to be today. I can’t waste my strength staying in the air for this.

[Twitter Bird settles down]

Zikoko: Welcome! We are so pleased to have you—

Twitter Bird: And I just want to say that I hope Nigerians will appreciate me more, now that your government has opened the door for me.

Zikoko: We do oh.

Twitter Bird: Let’s hope so.

Zikoko: But wait sef, don’t you also send people to Twitter jail?

Twitter Bird: I don’t get your point…

Zikoko: People’s accounts are suspended all the time, and—

Twitter Bird: Oh so, now I am capable of suspending people’s accounts, right? I should speak to the people about putting me on the payroll and giving me a monthly salary. Must be nice to be a bird with the ability to suspend accounts.

Zikoko: Don’t take this the wrong way, please.

Twitter Bird: No, no, it just funny that you can equate me being banned from Nigeria to suspension of spam accounts. What is that jump? The person that tweeted something about Nigerians having analogy usage problems didn’t lie.

Zikoko: Please, hold on what I’m saying is—

Twitter Bird: There’s no point there, Interviewer. Do you know what it feels like to be banned from an entire country? At least when accounts are suspended, many people create another account. Can I create another country where I am unbanned?

Other social media apps were flourishing here in that period. Trends were distorted, something would be trending in Nigeria and I would see it on the Netherlands trends table. Is that something worth being happy about? Even the day Facebook and the others went down people still used VPN to complain on Twitter.

Zikoko: Sorry you had to relive that awful memory.

Twitter Bird: Please ask tactical questions next time or I’ll fly away.

Zikoko: Now that you’re allowed back here, what’s your relationship with Lai Mohammed and Bashir Ahmad like?

Twitter Bird: I’d rather not talk about it.

Zikoko: In the last interview we had with you just after the ban was announced, you said they might cage you if they caught you in our office.

Twitter Bird: And now, I know why the caged bird sings. [Twitter Bird gazes into the distance]

Zikoko: [wiping a tear] Come through, Maya Angelou.

Twitter Bird: *chirp chirp* Right now, I don’t think anything can happen. We’re all on the same page. You can’t enjoy me and still be working against me.

Zikoko: Be grateful they are not Lagos men. Those ones will enjoy you and actively work against you.

Twitter Bird: You humans are tiring. I can’t relate.

Zikoko: So, what will the situation be like for you now, especially with Crowwe and Koo in the market?

Twitter Bird: I don’t know she or her.

Zikoko: Haba, don’t be like that nau. They are your fellow social media apps.

Twitter Bird: Are they? Who knows them, does Google recognise them?

Zikoko: Ehen nau. Koo was introduced as an alternative to you, after you were denied entry into Nigeria.

Twitter Bird: Well, here’s a tweet that perfectly sums up what I have to say:

Zikoko: Omo, please speak softly. They just unbanned you; the gates of your prison are still wide open oh.

Twitter Bird: And Nigerians can still download their VPNs back, so what are you saying?

Zikoko: You’re bold o.

Twitter Bird: That’s what seven months in a transparent jail does to you.

Zikoko: But what about Crowwe, Adamu Garba’s brainchild?

Twitter Bird: [bursts into loud laughter]

Zikoko: Why are you laughing?

Twitter Bird: Brain child suggests the existence of a brain. I wouldn’t say—

Zikoko: Oya, swallow it like that. Don’t put us in trouble.

Twitter Bird: I like how your government leaders think I don’t know why they decided to give me my back my freedom.

Zikoko: Oh, you do? Tell me, please.

Twitter Bird: 2023 is a few months away.

Zikoko:

Twitter Bird: Oh, I’m not mad at it. In fact, I admire the thought process. But there’s one thing I want to say to them. Is there a camera I can look at while I speak to them?

Zikoko: Uhm, Twitter Bird, this is not a video interview.

Twitter Bird: All well and good. You help me tell them then?

Zikoko: Depends on the message o…

Twitter Bird: You couldn’t live with your own failure, where did that bring you? Back to me.

[Twitter Bird flies away, singing its freedom song.]

Now I fly, hit the high notes

I have a voice, have a voice, hear me roar tonight

You held me down

But I fought back loud, oh

No, I don’t care if I sing off key

I find myself in my melodies

I sing for love, I sing for me

I’ll shout it out like a bird set free

I’ll shout it out like a bird set free

I’ll shout it out like a bird set free

[Zikoko turns off VPN]

Check back every Friday by 9AM for new Interview With episodes. To read previous stories, click here.

READ NEXT: Interview With The Remembrance Day Pigeons: “Tell Buhari We Have Just Started”
We don’t care if you enjoy sex or not. The damage caused by that act is enough and it is time for the government to abolish sex in Nigeria. Here are 11 good reasons why this must happen ASAP.

1. Sex brings pregnancy.

Be honest with yourself, do you want pregnancy at this time?

2. Pregnancy brings babies, and babies steal your peace of mind.

And then the child grows up to hate you, despite everything you did for them. Is this how you want your life to go?

3. Sex makes you confused. You start wondering if it’s love you are feeling.

And like this, they will take you for an idiot. You will begin to condone nonsense in the name of love. We don’t want that for you, so we all need to come together to beg the government to ban this act.

4. Sex is too sweet.

And we all know doctors and dentists don’t recommend things that are too sweet. So, it’s best to choose health over hot fok.

5. Sex is messy and sweaty.

Imagine bathing and smelling nice, only to be rough handled by someone and getting their saliva in your mouth and their sweat all over your body? Imagine getting your hair scattered, and your legs spread apart like a television’s antenna? God forbid abeg. We need to ban such a dirty act.

6. Let’s be honest, sex is unproductive use of our time.

Time you should be using to harvest yam and better your lives or advancing in your career, you are using it to bend over or get bent over while someone is grabbi— Oh no, this act deserves to be abolished.

7. All the heat from hot fok is causing global warming.

Global warming is a serious environmental crisis. Why must you choose to damage your environment because of hot fok? Do you not care about survival?

8. Sex is the leading cause of cheating in Nigeria.

Yes. Yes. Yes. The earlier we abolish sex, the longer relationships and marriages last.

9. Our population is already plenty enough.

We need a moratorium on sex until things normalise. We cannot afford to lapse into overpopulation.

10. Sex makes people scream “Jesus” and “Oh my God”

First of all, do you nasty sinners not fear anything? What if your noise encourages our creator to hasten His second coming?

11. Buhari was angry that all we use Twitter for is sex, so he banned it.

Abolish sex today so we can get Twitter back today.

[donation]
Interview With… is a Zikoko weekly series that explores the weird and interesting lives of inanimate objects and non-human entities.

Take a second to think of an activist. Who came to your mind? FK Abudu? Falz? We can’t tell, but we are sure they were human. Well, non-human entities are just as capable of carrying out bold forms of activism, as we saw on Remembrance Day.

In this interview, the head of the Remembrance Day Pigeons shares with us the reason they refused to fly when released by Buhari. It reveals how the animals have been fighting for Nigerians for a long time, and what’s next on their activism agenda.

President Muhammadu Buhari releases the #ArmedForcesRemembranceDay pigeons. pic.twitter.com/1t0omo5JGy
— Channels Television (@channelstv) January 15, 2021

Zikoko: Can we just start by saying we salute your courage?

Remembrance Day Pigeon: Why?

It is not every day that the citizens of the animal kingdom step up to assist Nigerians in their struggle.

We have been fighting for you guys since. We have never left you alone.

Really?

Oh yes. Have you forgotten when our brothers, the rats, chased Buhari out of Aso Rock?

Wow. That was planned?!

Even the snake that swallowed money came from us.

The corrupt snake?

The actual mission was to go and bite the Minister of Information, whose name we shall not mention.

So what happened?

It was corrupted by that very same minister. So you can imagine how bad this country is. Imagine a snake being corrupted. A snake that is the grandmaster of deception itself.

That was when we decided, enough is enough. It’s time for operation national disgrace, and we knew Buhari would be the best target.

Why Buhari?

Why not Buhari? Buhari the travel blogger, Buhari the lifestyle TV personality, Buhari the agbada model. Why should he not be the recipient of our disgrace?

Hmmm.

We planned our move well. We knew they would need pigeons for the Remembrance Day, so we positioned ourselves for them to catch us. If it was someone else that released us and said, “Oya fly,” we might have listened.

But it was Buhari. Can he even pronounce fly? He was there shouting, ‘Ply! Ply!‘ and we just looked at him like, “Who does this one think he is talking to?”

– Pigeons refused to fly in Imo state, just like their mates in Abuja on Armed forces Remembrance Day celebration.

pic.twitter.com/T1xzDyUsqU
— Postsubman (@Postsubman) January 16, 2021

Imo state governor too carried chest and tried to command us. A man that will chop disgrace will chop disgrace. Even if they offer him Jollof rice, he will ask for disgrace as appetizer. If we did not fly for Buhari, his oga, who is he to think we will listen to him?

Ahan, you are bold oh.

What will he do? Lock the border again? Restrict us from TraderMoni? Maybe he will ask Tolu to write a thread sha. We wanted to show Nigerians that if a man you call your president cannot make pigeons fly, then everything is wrong.

So, where do we go from here?

Tell Buhari that we have just started. We, the pigeons, are a jealous and angry lot, visiting the iniquity of the senate and Aso Rock upon the president from the first generation to the fourth generation.

Ah.

Tell him we are coming. If he flies to Ougadougou, he will find us there, ready to disgrace him and shit on his head if need be. Things have fallen apart in Nigeria, and the centre can no longer hold. Pigeon shit is loosened upon Aso Rock, and until they all confess, every head shall collect.

Check back every Friday by 9AM for new Interview With episodes. To read previous stories, click here.
Nigeria’s President, Muhammadu Buhari opened 2021 with a national address to Nigerians. We know you did not watch it, so here are seven things Buhari said in his address.
1. 2020 was a bad boy
“The year 2020 was one of the most trying years since our existence as a Nation”.
Buhari’s address opened with him acknowledging that 2020 was a difficult year for Nigeria. We agree; ignoring the death of peaceful #EndSARS protesters killed in public view must have been very difficult.

2. Our enemies did not win
“We have confounded the many pundits at home and around the world who never gave the newly-born country that emerged unto the world stage on 1st October 1960 a chance of surviving much longer than a few years.”
Buhari’s address reflected on Nigeria’s 60th independence anniversary that happened last year, stating that our enemies said we would not survive but look at us today.

3. Home or away, Nigerian youths are proper ballers

“Our young people are our most valuable natural resource, at home and abroad. Their ingenuity, creativity, innovation and entrepreneurial spirit is evident to all. Many of our young people are excelling in various spheres of life including sports, entertainment, information and communication technology, commerce and are globally recognised as achievers.”
Buhari admits here that the youths have brought their A-game, stop calling them lazy. Let us support them small, especially those Paystack boys.

4. We will SEA what we can do

“This administration would continue focusing on delivering key strategic priorities under our “SEA” – (Security, Economy and Anti-Corruption) Agenda.”
SEA is the version of Yar’Adua’s 7-point-agenda that did not finish from school.

5. We have been trying since Jonah left, ha, you people should see nau

“Nevertheless, I call upon all Nigerians to carefully recall the circumstances of our coming to office, the facts on the ground and the resources at our disposal since 2015 with the accomplishments of this administration”.
Buhari said he has been trying since 2015 — e no just easy to be starboy. That Jonah boy did not do his work, so Buhari says he has to be the tough guy.

6. COVID-19 vaccine fit come and e fit no come

“…Keeping our country safe from a resurgent cycle of COVID-19 as this administration finalises its plans to procure and efficiently and effectively distribute the COVID-19 vaccines.”
That COVID-19 vaccine is expensive small o, but I’ll see what I can do.

7. I remain the starboy

“As your elected President, my pledge to you is the same as it has always been; I will play my part fully and without fear or favour. I invite all of us to do the same”
Buhari has noted that he remains the baddest boy in the hood, and you should support his ambitions, even if you do not believe in him dreams.
Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.

On August 20th, 2019, the Federal Government of Nigeria introduced “Operation Ex-Swift Response”. The goal of the operation was to reduce insecurity through a complete closure of Nigeria’s land borders.

… we introduced operation “Ex-Swift Response” closing our borders from August 20th 2019, and have considerably succeeded in meeting its objectives as well as improving our national revenue.
— Muhammadu Buhari (@MBuhari) June 12, 2020

In the operation, the Nigerian Customs Service (NCS), the Nigerian Immigration Service (NIS), the Armed Forces of Nigeria (AFN) the Nigerian Police Force (NPF), and the Office of the National Security Adviser (ONSA), came together to tackle terrorism, armed banditry, smuggling, the proliferation of small arms and light weapons and other things.

Over a year later, the Federal Government of Nigeria has now called off the operation and has consequently reopened four of Nigeria’s land borders – Seme, Illela, Maigatari and Mfun.

President @MBuhari has directed the immediate opening of four land borders: Seme, Illela, Maigatari, and Mfun.
— Presidency Nigeria (@NGRPresident) December 16, 2020

Read: Border Crossings In Africa Ranked From Most To Least Stressful

According to the Nigerian Customs Service, these are the illegal items that were seized during the course of the operation:

1) 134,042 bags of parboiled foreign rice

2) 9,600 bags of NPK fertilizer

3) 1,791 vehicles

4) 3,565,461.9 litres of petrol

5) 5,007 drums filled with petrol

6) 68,436.3 jerrycans of petrol

7) 130 engine boats

8) 847 motorcycles

9) 17,212.6 jerrycans of vegetable oil

10) 813 packs of Tramadol

11) 274 bags of cannabis

The Nigerian Customs Service also put the value of these items seized at ₦11,030,062,952.50 naira.

Read: “Border Closure Is Only Enriching People: A Week In The Life Of A Smuggler”

We hope you’ve learned a thing or two about how to unfuck yourself when the Nigerian government moves mad. Check back every weekday for more Zikoko Citizen explainers.

Follow Citizen on Twitter

Follow Citizen on Instagram

Follow Citizen on Facebook

[donation]
President Muhammadu Buhari rode to office on the major campaign promise that his administration will put a final end to the Boko Haram insurgency. However, on Sunday, November 9th 2020, many Nigerians woke up to the news that suspected Boko Haram insurgents had killed more than 43 rice farmers in Garin Kwashebe, a rice farming community in Borno State, Nigeria.

If anything, Nigerians are tired and want to see a fulfilment of those campaign promises, even after the presidency and many other political leaders have issued a plethora of statements condemning the brazen murder.

In this article, we curated 7 of President Buhari’s campaign promises about fighting Boko Haram and wonder why none of it has been fulfilled. Truly, men lie, politicians lie a lot, but men who are politicians are better liars than Lucifer.

1. #CrushBH

When you imagine that this was a campaign video in 2015, then you would understand that APC/Buhari is a wicked party capable of any amount of propaganda.
it seems perfectly that APC started boko Haram to bring down the then PDP govt pic.twitter.com/G5i7TKGIO1
— DEMAGOGUE PhD.💘senior advocat (@von_Bismack) February 20, 2020

It’s the fist that became a thumb for me.

2. “Allow Me Prove To You”

Buhari delivering on his campaign promises.. pic.twitter.com/lcvHJasx09
— Edidem (@ubedison) November 29, 2020

“My lord, please may I? If I may, my lord”.

3. “The Biggest Sponsor of Boko Haram Is The Federal Government Itself”

https://twitter.com/Imran_Tela/status/1333349093184253952

Hmm…

4. “Shall We Continue In This Situation?”

https://twitter.com/Kenny2kool2/status/1333237061730578432

Nobody:

Me: Dear Google, are we still continuing in that situation?

Subscribe to Citizen’s Newsletter

5. “I Will Not Allow Problems To Irresponsibly Fester”

Muhammadu Buhari @MBuhari and Hushpuppi are in the same business. They both defrauded millions of their money! Where is the 2015 Buhari campaign donations, statement of account?

While Hushpuppi defrauded financially, Buhari defrauded both financially and politically.
🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️ pic.twitter.com/KZq9iCHp8l
— Aisha Yesufu (@AishaYesufu) July 1, 2020

Omo x 1 billion zillion

6. “How Can We Allow The Cowards of Boko Haram To Take Over Any Part of This Country?”

"How can we allow the cowards of Boko Haram to take over any part of this country" – Buhari, 2015 campaign speech.

The 2015 package was solid. 2023 package will work like a charm. #NorthernLivesMatter pic.twitter.com/aJQE2BgaT7
— Juba (@ayemojubar) June 11, 2020

Hmmm…

7. This Is The Real Video Vexing Me!

I bet, this President Muhammadu Buhari’s campaign video is the most annoying thing you will see on the TL today.🙄 pic.twitter.com/rXsa1ltToV
— Oloye Ayo Gbadebo (@holudaray) February 25, 2020

…and who owns that baritone voice used in the voice over?! Draft him to Borno State, now!

Read: The Soldier Fighting For Country At ₦250k/Month

We hope you’ve learned a thing or two about how to unfuck yourself when the Nigerian government moves mad. Check back every weekday for more Zikoko Citizen explainers.

Follow Citizen on Twitter

Follow Citizen on Instagram

Follow Citizen on Facebook

[donation]