For days last week, many young Nigerian men converged in the comment section of the American influencer Luis Olivas for his Andrew Tate brand of alpha male content. Olivas, whose followership grew from some hundred thousand to over a million in a few days, regularly makes posts telling men to be more selfish in their relationships with women and to treat women essentially like a piece of shit. His posts were wildly criticized for promoting sexist stereotypes about women.
memes.zikoko.com
“Giving her a second chance is like watching the same film twice. It will always have the same ending,” he said in one post. “Trust a man will put his happiness aside for a woman. But a woman will put her man aside for her happiness,” he said in another post. All he posted with the refrain “Bro to Bro.”
Though Olivas has been on TikTok for a long time, most Nigerians who engaged with his posts only recently discovered him.
Now in protest, women are quote tweeting a post made by Omotara Lawrence where she simply just said “Girl to Girl,” encouraging women to be more selfish and prioritise themselves.
No long talk. We’re tired of seeing real alpha males waste their lives being mediocre. To make the best of your life, use this template and don’t deviate from it. We got it from Adam.
3 a.m.
Wake up, king. There are important things for you to attend to and not enough time in the day for you to do them. The first thing a real man does when he wakes up is to fear women. Don’t press your phone or brush your teeth. Just lay in bed and meditate on the evil women have done and are capable of in this life for the next two hours. Take it all in, so nothing catches you off guard in the course of your day. If you don’t do this, anything your eyes see, take it like that. You’ve been warned.
5 a.m.
It’s time for your daily 10km run. Get out of bed and start running. Are you trying to be fit, training to run from responsibilities or away from people trying to get you to cheat? All join.
It’s time for breakfast. What’s that? You can’t run 10km in 25 minutes? This article is for men, please. If you can’t do 10km in 25 minutes, then read this.
Back to the men. Homemade pounded yam without soup is for breakfast. If you’re not fortunate enough to have a partner to make it for you yet, you have to do it yourself. That’s kuku how you work out your arms. Eat and be merry. Wash it down with straight gin. Any other thing, and you’ve failed.
6 a.m.
It’s time for your daily 1k push-ups. This will aid in the digestion of your food and building of your chest. You need chest.
As a man, why haven’t you bought your Z! Fest tickets? We’re expecting you this Saturday.
6:08 a.m.
Go about your day. Do what you do best, king. Obviously, this means working for yourself, and not someone else. You can’t be calling someone else “sir”, or even worse, “ma”.
No. We didn’t forget bathing. Real men don’t baff.
12 p.m.
Men deserve breaks too. Use yours to hunt for your lunch. People who sit in their houses to order food off their phones are the problem with humanity and the reason we won’t survive if the earth was ever in danger.
1 p.m.
Back to work. No food for lazy man.
4 p.m.
It’s time to find your missing rib. A king needs support because the crown is heavy. We won’t teach you how to search for a partner o. Do whatever you do best. If you want to go about lying about how much you earn, do it. If you want to steal another man’s partner, do it. Just find a way. But if you fail, there’s always tomorrow.
6 p.m.
You’re hanging out with your guys soon. Quickly pop into your backyard farm to harvest some wheat to brew the beer you people will drink. If you have some bush meat left over from lunch, even better. If you don’t, no dinner for you because you lack discipline.
7 p.m.
Your guys are around. It’s time to watch football, drink aforementioned beer, play FIFA and argue Messi vs Ronaldo, boobs vs ass and Wizkid vs Davido vs Burna Boy.
Before they leave, kiss them goodnight, lips to lips. But very importantly, don’t forget to say #NoHomo.
9 p.m.
Taekwondo or boxing classes. Of course, you’re the teacher. Other — younger — men need to learn how to protect their homes and families, and you must teach them.
10 p.m.
Pee all around your house to assert your dominance, so another man doesn’t become the man of your house before you wake up the following morning. Very important.
10:30 p.m.
Apply your beard oil. Wait? You don’t have a full beard? Why are you here. Again, this article is for MEN.
11 p.m.
Go to bed, but not before kneeling before the picture of Shola in your room and praying to him to watch over you. Don’t forget to apologise for any slip-ups you might’ve had during the day. For example, politely asking a woman for her number instead of demanding it.
Go to bed.
1:13 a.m.
Wake up, look in the mirror and remind yourself you’re the man. Then go back to bed.
No matter what type of relationship you’re in, telling someone “I love you” can be a pretty scary experience. While those three words are common among families and romantic partnerships, most men still struggle with translating their feelings into words, especially when it comes to their male friendships. We recently spoke with 6 Nigerian men to talk about the dynamics of their friendships and whether or not they’re willing to say “I love you” to their male friends.
Marcell
I used to be very weird about “I love you” in general, but yes, I’m now the guy that at least says it back. Those three words weren’t tossed around in my nuclear household a lot, so for me to say it back, I’d have to figure out If I actually loved that friend.
I remember the first time a friend of mine said it. I can’t remember if I said it back, but I did cry because it felt genuine. It felt too real, like I could believe and trust he would never leave my corner. I think men find it hard because society has convinced them that they can’t be vulnerable, soft or emotional. Even our fathers equate being there financially to loving us. This father-son relationship has no emotional depth, and it’s the same with most male friendships.
Kelechi
Saying “I love you” to my male friends doesn’t come naturally to me. I’d much rather use substitutes like “nice one” or directly express appreciation for something they’ve done for me. I can’t recall any of my guys saying it to me, but I would feel weird if a guy told me that he loves me. It’s just one of those statements I’d rather hear from the opposite sex.
While I’m open to men evolving when it comes to showing emotions, I’m not open to it being in the expressive ways women do it. I think love can be expressed in many different ways that are not necessarily verbal.
Fred
I started saying it to my friends during my time in the university. I realized it was odd not to tell my male friends how I felt about them. A lot of them were amused at first, and many have since reciprocated. From being unsure about what to do with such information to being afraid of doing what is “reserved for women”, I believe there’s a spectrum of reasons why most men find it weird.
There’s also the fact that most of us never had a reference point for this “love thing”.
King
I remember the first time I said it to a particular friend – I was sleeping over at his and we were high as hell,having a long winded conversation that drifted to how our friendship had impacted me when I said, “Man, I love you so much.” I wasn’t looking for a response when I said it, so I just carried on talking. Anyways, he thought I meant it romantically so I had to clarify that I didn’t.
Over the course of our friendship, I’ve said it maybe 200 times and he’s said it to me twice. I think he’s not there yet.
Abiodun
God forbid! Why should a guy tell another guy “I love you”? It’s not like I think its “gay” or anything. I just think it’s weird. Just thinking about it is making me cringe. I love my friends, and I think they all know this, so why should I start shouting it up and down? I don’t know how you guys do it but it can never be me. Godspeed!
Priye
I’m indifferent. I won’t say it first, but if you say it to me, I’ll respond. It’s just words to be honest. Do you know how many times we say it to people without actually meaning it? Like I said, it’s just words. It won’t kill anyone. But I won’t say it first sha and that’s a general rule, even in romantic relationships. You don’t want to say it first and look desperate.
There are men, and there are alpha males. One of the easiest ways for people to identify you as an alpha male is for you to do these nine things.
1) Never use an umbrella
Alpha males allow rain to flog them like someone that stole meat from the market. It is emasculating for any real alpha male to walk around with an umbrella. If you get a cold, remind the cold of who you are, and watch it disappear. Even colds recognise alphas.
2) Chapstick is your worst enemy
How can an alpha male have moisturized lips? The more cracked your lips, the stronger of an alpha you are. This is because the cracked lips represent the difficult roads you have gone through to come out strong.
3) The ashier the knees, the better
Moisturizer is such a feminine trait. Everyone knows that alpha males don’t moisturize their knees. Moisturized knees is a sign of weakness.
4) Only know how to cook noodles
Cooking is an important life skill, but back in the day, alphas did not cook. Now, however, since you are a progressive man and you realise that everyone needs to know how to cook, you must have perfected the art of making noodles.
Alpha male doings
5) Provide
A good Alpha male must be a provider. Nobody cares who you are providing for or what you provide. Just provide.
6) Don’t drink cocktails
The more bitter and tasteless your drink is, the more masculine you are. Only women drink fruity drinks. A real Alpha doesn’t drink colourful drinks.
7) Be the head
No matter what the situation you find yourself in is like, always beat your chest three times and proclaim you are the head. Only true Alphas can be the head even when they have a boss.
8) Do not wash your ass
The smell from your unwashed ass is what notifies the people around you that they are in the presence of an Alpha male.
9) Enter staring competitions with strangers
The best way to assert your dominance as an alpha is to stare down random people. Whoever looks away first is clearly the weaker person.
For more on what is inside this life, please click here
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“I am an alpha male.” At some point in our lives, we’ve had the misfortune of hearing that line or something close to it. It is a line and a concept loaded with acts of misogyny and sexism, and to understand how it affects everyday people, we spoke with 8 Nigerians to see what it is like dating someone who buys into the concept of being an “Alpha” male.
Read their stories below.
Kachi*, 27. Straight,
I was dating this popular/semi-famous guy and because he always seemed down for spontaneous things I ended up being attracted to him. It was a full-on situationship. Anyway, sex was amazing but I started to notice how much he enjoyed it when I play-resisted him; he would get more and more aroused by ‘no’. He enjoyed controlling my body, but it was all consensual so I didn’t think much of it then. Things changed when I stumbled on notes he had written, describing scenarios where he had manipulated situations to get the right reactions from me (to be clear, most were situations of him trying to make me feel good but I found it interesting how he claimed responsibility for even situations where I had made my own decisions). He also had notes saying how he was the alpha in this situation; how I was a nobody with no life ambitions, how he was the dom and I was the sub that needed to be controlled and put in her place.
It was crazy to me because zero of his actions ever reflected those thoughts. He had just merrily kissed me goodbye to go run an errand the night I saw the notes. I waited for him to come back, pretended that nothing had changed. He tried to initiate sex that night, and when I said no, it was as if he didn’t hear me. For some reason, I wasn’t worried or scared, I just looked him right in the eyes, and said no one last time, then I went to bed. Obviously, that was the end.
Wendy, 24. Pansexual,
So, I dated this guy three years ago and he initially claimed to be the biggest feminist ally to get to date me. Then we started dating and he remembered he was an “Alpha male”. He started trying to be the final authority on what I do with my life. Next thing he started to pick fights with me saying stuff like “all you will ever get are weak men who would just use you for sex” to scare me into not losing an Alpha male. Eventually, when we broke up he told a friend of mine that we broke up because I refused to let him guide me and give me direction in life.
Emily, 21. Straight.
He was attractive but ill-mannered. When asked any question, he would literally shout at me, saying he’s an alpha male, and generally making me feel I had to be quiet. He was also emotionally abusive with an anger problem. It took my friends repeatedly telling me how disrespectful he was for me to finally move on. When he hit on my friend, I confronted him and he threatened to beat her as a punishment as he was an alpha male. Omo Abuja boys are wild, and his sexism was so irritating because it worked in putting me down many times
Tara, 25. Straight.
I am a feminist, a very strong and devoted one but it’s like that opposites attract saying is my whole life. Who have I dated that is not sexist or misogynistic? But the most sexist and misogynistic guy I’ve ever been with was the guy I was with a couple of years ago. He did a lot of things like slut-shame women including me. I would tell him that a man used to try to date me and he would go dig up dirt about the person. Then say, it’s because of the way that I am that such a randy man could think he could get with me. Also, he was really broke and I was the one always paying bills.
We would go out and I would pay cash but the attendant will give him the change and I would try to correct the attendant but he would tell me I was overreacting. We had a major fight about that and this was when I paid for a service with my card and the attendant told me to stay back and he should come to input his pin and I started shouting at the attendant that he was a sexist pig. My boyfriend told me I was doing too much and it wasn’t that deep. Omo, I wanted to run mad. It was a horrible experience. I broke up with him not quite long ago.
Chidinma, 24. Straight,
I dated this man when I was 20 for about a year and he was obsessed with the gym. He would work out a lot and pretty much mock me every time we went to the gym together for not lifting as much. When he fell sick and lost his muscles he became a different person, it was like he needed to show he was still stronger and every time we had a quarrel during the period, he would tell me how he wouldn’t marry me again.
He just kept finding ways to put me down because I could still go to the gym and he couldn’t. Now that I think about it, it was a very problematic relationship. He was very “Christian”, so when I wouldn’t do as he said he would come with the submission line and say he could marry me.
We lived together for about a month because he had accommodation issues and that was when I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. He would complain about me ordering food and would tell me that his mother would have to “train” me for one year before he can marry me. He wanted to impose his dominance all the time, he wouldn’t go out with me if he didn’t have money then he graduated to taking money from me without asking or paying back because he was the head and “what do you need money for, you’re a woman”.
Onyinye, 19. Straight,
I dated a man sometime last year. He was an Igbo guy in his late 20s. He was someone who never listened to me and always took my opinions as inferior. There was a time we were just talking and I said “omo” and he started asking if we were mates. I had to do everything he asked even when I was uncomfortable with it. Even when he did something wrong or something I didn’t like, I couldn’t speak up because he disregarded it and always turned things around to make me feel guilty. Luckily, I was able to leave the relationship this year.
Ronke, 19. Asexual,
I was with a guy who was in an ‘open relationship’ and he claimed to be over the babe but still didn’t break up with her. Also, the relationship was only ‘open’ for him because he didn’t let her do stuff with other people, and to make matters worse, he wanted me to be exclusive with him but he kept doing whatever he wanted. He once implied that I was fucking my brother because my brother used to drive me everywhere and that made him really jealous.
Tireni, 23. Straight,
I was seeing this guy that was very sexist and misogynistic. In his defense, he was 15 years older than I was and I didn’t stay long enough for it to manifest properly. I met him randomly one day close to my estate. He picked me off and dropped me where I was going. I don’t usually enter rides, but it was really hot that day. Very nice guy, obviously much older, but I like older guys so I didn’t mind. We exchanged numbers and he started calling me. We went out a couple of times and it was pretty harmless.
Then he told me about how he bugs his girlfriend’s phones because he needs to know they’re faithful to him. That was weird, but he’s a security operative so I let it slide.
Then he asked me to come over to his place one day to chill. Next thing I know he told me that there’s beans in the cupboard and moi-moi leaves on the sink. That I should go and cook. He was like am I not a woman, that it was my major job to make my man happy. Then I got a new job. This job was certainly going to be more tedious and stressful, but also very engaging and interesting. A big step in the right direction to my dream job. He insisted I turn down the job because it’ll make me busy and that I won’t have time for him. After that day, I accepted the job and blocked him everywhere.
