• “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is Juliet Simone, and she’s a pornstar. Juliet tells us about some of the stereotypes she faces in her line of work, managing her family’s expectations with her job, and how powerful she feels when she’s in front of a camera.

    MONDAY:

    I’m awake every day between 5 a.m. and 7 a.m. I stand up from my bed by 6:30 am today, and the first thing I do is check my phone to see if there are any messages I missed while asleep. Then I start my morning ritual — I drink Seaman ogogoro to clear my eyes, do some squats to keep my body fit [because I don’t want to have a fat stomach], and look for something to eat. I’m done with my routine by 11 a.m. After that, I make content for my paying subscribers — I have a WhatsApp group where people pay ₦5,000 per month to see my nudes, watch me masturbate, rant or just dance. It would have been easier to manage the subscribers if I could go live on Instagram or Twitter, but I’ve been banned on both apps. I’m grateful that at least I still have my Snapchat account where I can post even though I don’t fully understand how to use that app.

    I don’t have time to be worried about Snapchat because there’s work to be done, and my major “headache” now is entertaining my subscribers on WhatsApp. I’ll video call my over 20 subscribers in batches of seven. The signs are clear that I have a long day ahead of me.

    TUESDAY:

    I don’t shoot porn videos every day because I don’t own a personal camera. Instead, I have to shoot once or twice in a week depending on the schedule of the actors, video crew and location. There’s a lot of planning that goes into making these videos. We travel outside Lagos, sometimes as far as Badagry, to make them. You can’t just say you want to act porn in your room or a hotel in Lagos. From the screams and moans alone, oversabi people will call police to arrest you for trying to murder someone’s daughter. There’s also the part of choosing the men I’m acting with because I have a preference — neat, honest, and willing to show face on camera — that must be followed. After making my choice, I invite the person for lunch to gauge them before we go for routine [HIV, Hepatitis, etc] tests. Then we can now shoot a video. 

    During video shoots, I tell my men that it’s acting we’re acting so they shouldn’t get carried away thinking it’s their girlfriend they’re fucking. I also make it clear that they must not cum in me —  they can cum on my laps, face, tummy but not inside me — because the viewers want to see the sperm.

    Anytime I’m stressed, I remind myself that it’s my channel that these videos are being uploaded to and that makes me happy. I’m excited anytime I look at my money counting and see that it’s dollars. I can’t wait till it’s plenty so I can cash out. 

    WEDNESDAY:

    People ask me if I’m shy to have sex in front of a camera. Me, Juliet, shy for what? For why? I even think I’m addicted to the camera. I’ve been acting for a while, so I’ve gained confidence. Although I started acting porn three years ago, my dream was to always get into Nollywood, so I grew up participating in dramas, teen plays and being a drama queen. I wasn’t shy when I used to act for people, why will I be shy now that it’s my channel?

    Anytime I’m in front of the camera, I feel like I’m Wizkid, Davido or even Burna Boy, and all these people are coming to look at me. I won’t lie, the first time I acted in a porn video, I didn’t know it’d go far. It wasn’t until my brother in Dubai called to say: “Juliet, you don dey act porn?” I was “Shoo, this thing is international now? This is my chance to shine.” In fact, during lockdown, I became famous again because one of my videos did like two million views. I noticed that anytime I passed my street, boys would be looking at me. It was one of my male friends that now gave me the gist that someone downloaded my video and people started sending it to themselves. Sometimes, too much of the attention in real life makes me shy, so I stay indoors. Other times when I want to do my werey, I wear my shades and don’t give them face. Is it pussy they’ve not seen before? Is it dick they’ve not seen before? — it’s everywhere. And if anybody comes to challenge me that why am I acting porn, I’ll also challenge them that why are they watching porn. Wetin carry their eyes go there? Are they also pornstars?

    THURSDAY:

    I’ll say this anywhere: I’m not addicted to sex. It’s just that I can’t see dick and run. I know that pata pata na you go tire because I don’t see sex as stress. I also don’t pay attention to that thing they call body count — how does it affect me? I can’t count how many guys I’ve fucked.  I also know that I’ll stop acting one day. I’ll move into “pure” acting and make money from my old videos. By then I’d have settled down with the man of my choice that loves me. I’m not worried because I’ve swimmed into the world and seen what’s there. 

    For the moment I’m making my money and facing my business. I’ll advise people to do the same and leave judgement between me and God. I am at peace with my God.

    FRIDAY:

    I have a few secrets. My mum thinks I’m an actress in Nollywood, and although my siblings know what I do for a living, they didn’t cast me. My dad is dead, so he doesn’t need to know. Sometimes, people whisper to my mum but I encourage her to ignore them. As far as I didn’t kill anyone, I didn’t rob or collect anyone’s money illegally, my life doesn’t concern anybody. If my siblings could go from an initial violent reaction when they found out I was acting porn to a cordial one, people’s opinion don’t matter much to me. 

    Another secret is that I enjoy slow fucking and not knacking-knacking like you’ll see in porn videos. I think that’s even a major reason why it’s difficult to enjoy sex while acting. If I like the guy and we’re done shooting, I’ll ask him to come and have the slow sex that I like.

    My last secret is that I don’t make friends with people outside the porn industry because they won’t understand me. And insult can even enter. But if you’re in my industry, how can you abuse me when we’re partners in crime? Even if you abuse me, it’ll be work-related — you’ll say I didn’t cash out last month or my video quality is poor — and I know you’re correcting me. Let me tell you a secret: The people insulting me about pornography will grab this opportunity I have if they see it. Them go too rush am. 

     SATURDAY:

    I can’t help but think about the pornography industry here in Nigeria because there’s potential that we’re not tapping into. There’s a lack of trust amongst us, so we don’t collaborate. You’ll watch Oyinbo porn and you’ll see crossovers and collaborations making people money. But Nigerian slogan is “Everyone be on your shoe oh because na only you know as your shoe dey pain you.” I know there’s the opportunity to make money. When I was still upcoming and working for people, I’ve made around ₦300,000 and above per month before. As long as we don’t combine resources, we can’t regulate and grow the industry. 

    I’m always looking for people to collaborate and work together because I want to blow to the extent where I can establish a business for my mum and myself. Once I remove black tax and set up a passive source of income from my old videos, then I’ll stop acting porn. Maybe then I’ll finally be free to pursue my childhood dream of acting in Nollywood.


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

    [donation]

  • “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life,” is an interstate driver. He tells us about the risk involved in his job, his love for his wife and kids, and how he manages his girlfriends alongside his loving family.

    MONDAY:

    I don’t have a fixed time to wake up because my job is flexible. In the past, when I was a driver for Taxify, I’d wake up early so as to make a profit. However, since I stopped doing Taxify, I don’t have to wake up that early. I now do strictly calling. People who need my services call me for what they want and I help them out. I do anything transport — I drive people from one state to another, I help them drive their car for delivery from one state to another, and sometimes, I even help people buy cars. All na hustle. 

    I’m lucky that I have a good customer relationship and that’s why I have clients who always need me to help them do one thing or the other. And the funny thing is that I developed these relationships while I was still a driver on Taxify. 

    I tell people about the importance of honesty and human relationship because it has helped me. No be say na me holy pass, but I dey try. For the past three months, I’ve driven only one person, and we met on that same Taxify. One day in 2017, he ordered a ride and we were flowing. The next day, he called me to pick him up. We just clicked. From there, he became a plus in my life. Even though he’s based abroad, anytime he’s in Nigeria, I’m his driver. I leave all my other clients to strictly drive him for the duration of his stay. I can’t lie, he has been wonderful in my life. Even when he sends me message from abroad, I accomplish it. Always on point. In fact, today, we’re preparing to travel to his village. I need to put one or two things in place to prepare for the journey.

    TUESDAY:

    It’s very rare to see a faithful man.  I don’t want to know how bad or ugly he is, as long as he moves around, he must have one or two babes to pass time with. That one is certain. It’s even worse for people like me who drive around all the states. I don’t have active babes in all the 36 states, but I have enough. Any state I enter, I must observe the ground and find at least one babe. Once I arrange the babe, anytime I visit that state, I holler at her. To make sure that she responds, I make our first meeting memorable for the girl. I will burst her head and flex her. And when we’re done enjoying, I will even dash her money. After that, many of them will be thanking me like fifty times. Me, I like honesty, so I tell them before we do anything that I’m married. I love my home. And this one is just both of us enjoying each other. 

    My parole is tight, and I talk in a way that they can’t say no. Again, with me, no dull moment. Haha. 

    WEDNESDAY:

    Today, I’m thinking about how I don’t deserve my wife. I’m just opportuned to have this wonderful woman. It’s God that said she’ll be my own and love me for who I am. She’s my number one, and it’s because of that love that I don’t let her see any clue of my girlfriends. If any of my girlfriends calls my wife, I cut her off immediately because I don’t want anything to ruin my home. 

    I guard my home well because growing up, I saw my parents fight. And I don’t want my home to be like that. I love my two boys and one girl, and I cherish their mother. I can’t afford to send my kids to a big school, but the little I can afford, I give to them. I didn’t go to university even though I did all I could to make it work out. That’s why I made a vow that I’ll do whatever it takes for my kids to go to school. So far so good, I’m on track. My daughter is in JSS1 while the boys are still in primary school. I’m sending them to school, not because education guarantees success but because it’s vital — it’ll always set them apart. 

    People have asked me how come I have a wife, three kids and still have space for girlfriends. The truth is that I dey hustle well. Sometimes I may not make one naira in a week, but the next week, I’ll make ₦200k. I have clients that pay ₦20 – ₦30k here and there, and I join everything together. It’s God that’s helping me because the little money I get, I shuffle it. All departments must chop inside. It must sha go round.

    THURSDAY:

    Interstate driving is risky. I remember my accident on Christmas day of 2019 at Benin Bypass. I was going with this same friend that stays abroad when our car tumbled. I wasn’t the one driving, so I was in the back seat. The funny thing is that I was on the phone talking to my wife when it happened. One minute I was on the call, the next, I’m upside down inside bush. Fear catch me die. I was upside down looking at my phone still on, fuel was leaking out of the car, and I was strapped to the chair with the seat belt. I had to calm myself down to get out of the car. Then I also told my guy not to panic while I loosened his seat belt. Thank God for motorists who helped us out of the whole situation. With their help, we turned the car back straight and then Road Safety came to tow the vehicle. Even after that incident, I didn’t stop driving. I can’t stop driving. It’s a part of me. Anytime I touch a car, I’m at peace. 

    If I have my way, I’ll invest in a transport business because I know there’s money in here. This is the field where I’ve spent all my life. This is all I know and this is where my talent lies. 

    FRIDAY:

    I love my kids so much. No matter how bad my day is, once I see them, I just brighten up. My work doesn’t give me enough time for my kids. When I’m in Lagos, I make sure I spend time with them. Sometimes I won’t travel for two months and other times, I wouldn’t be in Lagos for three weeks straight. There’s just that fatherly love that they bring out in me.

    Even when I’m with any of my girlfriends, I must still speak to my kids. I’ll call to hear their voice: I’ll ask them about their studies, if they’ve eaten, and how their day went. I’m never far away from them. 

    I honestly don’t know how they’ll feel if they know I have girlfriends. All I know is that I won’t bring any drama near my house. Even if I’m a killer outside, I want to be a saint in my own home. I may not have a lot of money but home matters to me.  I’ve been married for twelve years, and I don’t know if I can keep on living if anything happens to my family.

    To be honest, I’m even changing. I’m not bad like that. If I count my girlfriends, I have only five consistent ones. I’ve removed the inconsistent ones from my list because no time. I’m also thankful that God take libido bless me to be able to keep everyone satisfied. It’s grace. I be pure Igbo guy, I strong die. 


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

    [donation]

  • On March 10 2020, I published the first-ever “A Week In The Life” story. It addressed the struggles of a female Keke driver who was punching her weight in a male-dominated field while also doubling as a breadwinner. This theme of understanding people’s work struggles set the tone for the rest of the episodes in the series.

    Since then, I’ve spoken to over 40 Nigerians with different jobs, struggles, and wins. These stories have opened minds, sparked conversations, and changed the life of subjects along the way.

    As the year comes to a close, I’ve picked 10 of the absolute must-read in this series.

    1) A Week In The Life Of A Kayan Mata Seller Focusing On Sex Education

    Today’s subject is Maryam Usman, a Kayan Mata seller from the North. She talks about the challenges that come with her business and more importantly, the need for sex education amongst Northern women.

    Read here.

    2) A Week In The Life Of A Flight Attendant

    Today’s subject is *Tunde. A 29-year-old flight attendant of mixed heritage who tells us that part of the training to become a flight attendant involves learning how to deliver babies.

    flight attendant

    Read here.

    3) A Week In The Life Of A Call Center Agent At The Suicide Hotline

    Today’s subject is **Mark, a psychologist who is a call center agent at the suicide hotline. He walks us through his battle with faith, the need to help people, and the challenges that come with his job.

    Read here.

    4) A Week In The Life Of A Nurse On The COVID-19 Frontlines

    Today’s subject is *Agnes, a nurse currently caring for Covid patients. She tells us her fears as a young person working in close contact with an infectious disease.

    Read here.

    5) A Week In The Life Of ‘Agba’, The Entertainer Who’d Rather Be Rich Than Famous

    The subject for today’s “A Week In The Life” is Olubiyi Oluwatobiloba, an entertainer popularly known as ‘Agba’ of Konibaje baby fame. He tells us about the good and bad side of fame, his creative process, and his exit plan when skits are no longer sustainable.

    Read here.

    6) A Week In The Life Of An Imam Navigating A Zoom Ramadan During Covid-19

    Today’s subject is Imam Nojeem Jimoh. He tells us how he’s navigating Ramadan using technology in this special time.

    Zoom Ramadan Covid-19

    Read here.

    7) A Day In The Life: The Soldier Eagerly Looking Forward To Civilian Life

    Today’s subject is a soldier in this mid-thirties who walks us through fighting bandits in the North, corruption in the military, and his plans for civilian life once his military service is over.

    Read here.

    8) “Border Closure Is Only Enriching People” – A Week In The Life Of A Smuggler

    The subject for today is Mr M, a businessman and smuggler. He talks about the risk involved in his job, how bribes affect the prices of goods, and his hope to diversify his source of income.

    Read here.

    9) “Men Try To Take Advantage Of Me” – A Week In The Life Of A Female Bouncer

    The subject of today’s A Week In The Life is Tope. She’s a bouncer and she talks about the stereotypes she faces at work, advances from men, and how difficult it is to be a bouncer during COVID. 

    Read here.

    10) A Week In The Life Of A Fish Specialist Earning $5,000/Month

    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a twenty-six-year-old fish specialist. He talks about making over $30,000 from selling fishes, how he stumbled on the business, the cruelty fishes face, and why he left paid employment.

    Read here.


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, don’t hesitate to reach out. Reach out to me: hassan@bigcabal.com if you want to be featured on this series.

    [donation]

  • On March 10 2020, I published the first-ever “A Week In The Life” story. It addressed the struggles of a female Keke driver who was punching her weight in a male-dominated field while also doubling as a breadwinner. This theme of understanding people’s work struggles set the tone for the rest of the episodes in the series.

    Since then, I’ve spoken to over 40 Nigerians with different jobs, struggles, and wins. These stories have opened minds, sparked conversations, and changed the life of subjects along the way.

    As the year comes to a close, I’ve gathered 10 of the biggest hits in this series.

    Tracee Ellis Ross Omg GIF by Golden Globes

    1) A Week In The Life Of An NCDC Call Centre Agent

    Today’s subject is Joke, a call centre agent at the Nigeria Centre for Disease Control (NCDC). She tells us how her life has changed since Coronavirus was first announced and what she looks forward to the most after the pandemic is over.

    Coronavirus NCDC

    Read here.

    2) A Week In The Life Of A Sex Worker

    Today’s subject is *Yemi, a 27-year old sex worker who tells us how sex work has affected her outlook on life.

    sex worker

    Trigger warning: Strong content of drug use and rape ahead.

    Read here.

    3) A Week In The Life: The Agbero Trusting God For A Better Life

    The subject for today’s “A Week In The Life” is *Tola. He collects money at the bus park, and he’s what Nigerians refer to as Agbero. He talks about wanting to quit his job, his faith in God and why he shows up every day.

    Agbero

    Read here.

    4) A Week In The Life: A Sex Toy Seller Juggling Business With Her Christian Faith

    Today’s subject is Amope, a Nigerian woman who sells sex toys. She walks us through business during COVID, her Christian faith, and not being ashamed to promote her business using her face.

    A Week In The Life

    Read here.

    5) “People Ask Me For Body Parts” – A Week In The Life Of A Mortician

    The subject for today is Mr A, a mortician. He talks about his first day on the job, people asking him for human parts, and why he lives intentionally.

    Read here.

    6) A Week In The Life Of A Coffin Maker

    Today’s subject is Chief Ogunsekan, a coffin maker. He tells us how being the boundary between the living and dead has shaped his outlook of the world.

    A Week In The Life

    Read here.

    7) A Week In The Life: The Online Sex Worker Who Hates Her Body

    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is an online sex worker in her early twenties. She talks about hating her body, the Nigerian factors like NEPA that affect her work, and her biggest fear of one day getting exposed.

    Read here.

    8) A Week In The Life: Jumia Delivery Agent By Day, Family Man By Night

    The subject for today’s A Week In The Life is Micheal, a Jumia delivery agent. He walks us through combining being a delivery agent with fatherhood. The challenges of business in a pandemic and his plans for the future.

    A Week In The Life

    Read here.

    9) A Week In The Life: A Tanker Driver Living Her Best Life

    The subject of today’s A Week In The Life is Adeyemi, a tanker driver. She tells us about being a woman in a male-dominated field, dreaming big, and discovering herself through her job.

    A Week In The Life

    Read here.

    10) “I Don’t Want People To Say I Eat Too Much”— A Week In The Life Of A House Help

    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is Mercy. She’s a house help in her early twenties. She talks about leaving home to come to Lagos, the difficulties of her job and how bosses can be mean to house helps.

     A Week In The Life

    Read here.


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, don’t hesitate to reach out. Reach out to me: hassan@bigcabal.com if you want to be featured on this series.

    [donation]

  • “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a twenty-six-year-old fish specialist. He talks about making over $30,000 from selling fishes, how he stumbled on the business, the cruelty fishes face, and why he left paid employment.

    MONDAY:

    I quit my job today. 

    With everything going on this year, it just felt like the job was one more thing that wasn’t working because the company wasn’t offering me the growth I wanted. Even though I’m worried about the next step, I’m happy because I have a side hustle which involves exporting fishes alive as pets or for whatever use the person buying needs it for. 

    As a kid growing up, other people had televisions in their house, while we had an aquarium. Because my dad studied Fishery at the university, I learned a lot about fishes from a young age. The only downside was never having anyone to discuss them with — everyone looks at you weirdly when you bring up a conversation about fish. So, I turned to the internet where I started a community of over a thousand like-minded people. I’ll never forget the first time someone outside Nigeria offered to pay me $400 to send fishes to him. In my head, I was like does this guy know what the exchange rate is? Those were cute times because I’ve since gone on to make up to $12,000 in one sale, and $30,000 in the total sale — the profit margin is insane. 

    I buy fishes for $100 outside Lagos from fishermen who catch and kill them for sale. Fishes are only useful to fishermen when they’re dead, so I have to beg them to catch mine alive. Because there are many cruel methods fishermen use to catch fishes, this is usually a struggle for them. And many times, I have to buy a net and even build ponds by the rivers for them. I’ve heard that fishermen pour herbicides on the water to kill the fishes and then pack the dead bodies for sale. I’ve also heard some of them pour palm oil on the water and because of the viscosity — oil stays on the water —fishes can’t take in oxygen. When fishes take in “oiled water,” it blocks their gills making it impossible for them to extract oxygen from water so they die. Whenever I beg them not to employ regular tactics, they always look at me like I’m stupid because they can’t fathom what I’m using the fishes for. 

    The more I think about it, the more I realise that Nigeria is not even a place for a human being, talk less of a fish.

    TUESDAY:

    God will bless white people and they’ll go to heaven because they came to Nigeria, assessed our rivers and compiled a book about all the species of fishes in them. Published in the 80s, this book is one of those dusty, dog-eared books that has seen different regime changes in Nigeria. In the book, you’ll see how rivers are connected, the number of fishes in each river, and migration time table of these fishes. Just by reading the book, I know the time of the month and river to go search for a specific fish. All I have to do is go to the community with a picture to show the fishermen and speak small Yoruba. That’s the easy part. 

    The hardest part is transporting the fishes alive down to Lagos. 

    I have to beg the driver to pack the fishes in a certain way because if the water gets too hot, the fishes will die. I also have to beg for water to be changed at certain bus stops during the journey. It’s stressful in its own way not because of the cost of the fishes but because the people [fishermen, driver] I’m dealing with don’t know the value, so I literally have to teach them. 

    I don’t even want to get started on people at the airport. Those ones have no clue on how to handle my goods because they are running on vibes. 

    WEDNESDAY:

    I’m exporting some fishes today so I’m making preparations. The basic things are oxygen, water and packaging boxes. Fishes are funny because some of them require little oxygen while others require a lot of oxygen. For the latter, I spray oxygen from my oxygen tank [used in hospitals] into their water. After that, I place the water into a bag which then fits into a styrofoam box, and we bind them for the journey ahead. During winter, I’d wrap the styrofoam box with a lot of newspapers to insulate against the cold. It’s a crude method, but it is what it is. Everything I’m doing is basically trial and error because there’s no rule book per se.

    The internet has been helpful in helping me figure things out and it has also shown me that no matter how stupid you think what you write is, someone will find it useful. For me, I’m just glad that my passion is allowing me to connect and earn the kind of money I’d not earn on a regular day.

    THURSDAY:

    On this day last month, a Japanese man cheated me out of $6,000. My plan was that the money would be my safety net after quitting my 9-5. We had an agreement of $9,000 — $3000 for freight cost, and $6000 for the fishes. He ended up paying only the freight cost and leaving me in almost ₦2 million debt. Before this incident, I used to say Japanese people were the most trustworthy people in the world and that’s why I shipped without complete payment. When he blocked me on Instagram and stopped replying to my texts, e shock me.

    The only reason I’m remembering is that I just got paid for another batch of fishes I sent, so I’m finally debt-free. I’m just thankful for friends who loaned me money during that period because I was as broke as a church rat. 

    Will I do it again? Yes. For me, it’s more than the money; it’s finding people who share the same passion with me. And that sense of community. 

    I didn’t start out looking for money, someone just told me they’d pay me to ship fishes and that’s how I stumbled into this business. The upside is that one shipment from this month already offset the loss from the Japanese guy. And I have another shipment in December. I’m not worried because I know that with at least $5000 profit a month, I won’t go hungry. Coupled with the fact that I’m also doing something I enjoy, it’s a win for me. 

    Whether I make money or not, I’ll always love fishes and I’ll always own an aquarium in my house to be gazing at them. Even though other people are worried about my unemployment, I know I’ll be fine at the end of the day. And if I’m not then it’s not the end. 


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

    [donation]

  • “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a pilot and businessman. He tells us about the challenges of aviation in Nigeria, the best part of being a pilot, and the importance of friends. 

    MONDAY:

    Let me tell you one cool part about being a pilot — one time I was stuck in a club in Florida and some hot chicks asked me what I did for a living. I was like, “I’m a pilot.” And they go: “OMG, you’re a pilot? Do you fly planes? That’s so cool.” I was like: “There’s nothing special about being a pilot.” [laughs] “but I’ll take the compliment.” Saying I was a pilot at that moment was an icebreaker that led to the most amazing conversation. In hindsight, that was a good time, unlike today where I have to wake up by 5 a.m. because I have to go to work. I love my job, but I also like stress-free life.

    I’m up early because I want to use the gym for 30 minutes. After which I have to get ready for work because the staff bus arrives at 6:30 a.m.

    I stay in the office “compound” because I do a rotation called 6 and 6; that is, six weeks on and six weeks off. In my off time, I can decide to “kill” myself as long as I resurrect myself back to work. There’s an aviation rule that you must have an off day in every consecutive seven day week: If you work Monday to Saturday, you must rest on Sunday. The rule also states that pilots are not allowed to fly more than 8 hrs a day, 30 hrs in a week, 100 hrs a month. If I hit the 100hrs limit in 20 days, I’m going to sit around doing nothing for the next 10 days. And all this is still when I’m on the job for six weeks. My work gives me time because I alternate between free days and busy days. 

    I spend my six weeks off work in Lagos, and the six weeks on duty is split between Aberdeen and Port Harcourt. Every six months, pilots are expected to do an operational proficiency check [OPC] exam to evaluate their competence and depending on the aircraft, the tests are held in either the US, UAE or Aberdeen. I’m the training captain for my company, so for one week, company pilots come to fly with me in Aberdeen as part of the fulfilment of their OPC. When I’m not doing that, I start and end my day in Port Harcourt.

    TUESDAY:

    In Nigeria, we have two functional flying schools: one in Zaria and the other in Ilorin. The Zaria school used to be the biggest in Africa but now South Africa has overtaken it. Now, I always advise people to go to the US for aviation school. I may be biased because I went there, but I believe that there are so many flying schools to choose from and the system is pretty straight forward. This is minus the fact that Nigerian schools don’t have enough aircraft for students. I’ve heard of cases where because students didn’t get enough flying hours, they ended up spending two years for a one year program. 

    When you’re fresh out of aviation school in the US, the best place to fly is in Nigeria. In aviation, we rate experience with hours spent in the air. So instead of saying I have 20 years experience, you’ll say I have X number of hours. As a Nigerian, you’re at a disadvantage competing against Americans for spaces because you have neither experience [hours] nor the means to gain them. Unlike Nigeria where pilots are few, there are many pilots in America. Therefore, it’s easier to get a job and gain hours when you come back to Nigeria. 

    The only challenge is dealing with Nigerian factors. While my company doesn’t have the Nigerian factor, I’ve heard tales…

    Another issue is overbooking tickets with the hope that Lagos traffic or some other thing will make people miss their flights. To be fair, airlines all over the world overbook, but these airlines compensate you if everyone shows up and you don’t have a seat. In Nigeria, you’ll hear them say: “Oga you came late,” even though you’d been sweating on the queue for the past two hours. 

    I was gisting with my friend one day, and he told me that most companies use aviation in Nigeria for money laundering. These days, I’m starting to agree. 

    WEDNESDAY:

    I can tell you how beautiful the creeks of the Niger Delta is, or how beautiful the coastline of Nigeria is from the sky. Alternatively, I can tell you how scattered and horrible Lagos looks from above. If you want a fun fact, I’ll tell you how the Abuja airport is located in between two mountains. Seeing the world from above makes you admire nature and the creator. As one who admires art and artwork, I’m in love. Sometimes, I’m just looking, marinating and taking in a scene. 

    This job has also given me the opportunity to meet people from all over the world. One time my company was working with the United Nations, and I got to share a cockpit with almost everyone from different parts of the world. Without necessarily going to some places, I know about their culture, tradition and food. There’s the guy from Bali who described his house to me in detail alongside fun activities to do there. There’s also my friend from Singapore who talked about the food. I’m thankful for the knowledge. It’ll help me fit in better when I eventually decide to visit. 

    It’s hard not to love this job. Today, I’m telling a colleague that the best-kept secret about being a pilot is that the job is not as complicated as people think it is. Yes, you need to be relatively smart and intelligent to do it, but I don’t think it’s difficult. I’m probably saying this because I’ve been flying for 11  years, and I’ve witnessed many scenarios. I tell people that I don’t think pilots get paid for what we do. We get paid for what we may have to do. Every day a pilot takes off and lands without a problem is a good day. The day you lose an engine or your plane has a hydraulic problem — that is, shit hits the fan — is when you know who’s the real pilot and who has just been sitting there doing take-offs and landing. God no go shame us. 

    THURSDAY:

    Due to the exchange rate in Nigeria, we earn at ₦365 but spend at ₦490. It’s unfortunate and it hurts me badly and that makes me broke. 

    Then there’s also the societal expectations of a pilot. Pilots earn good money, but I still find myself anxiously waiting for my paycheck. Somebody who earns less than I do probably looks up to me thinking my salary will set them up for life. The truth is that more money equals more problems. Apart from the extravagance that sets in when you have a higher disposable income, there’s pressure on all sides. Every uncle, aunty, cousin, nephew, friend of friend wants you to give them money. At the end of the day, if you’re not careful, you’ll find out that you’ve finished spending all that “big pay.”

    Today, I’m counting my blessings. I’m grateful for what I have and what is yet to come. 

    FRIDAY:

    In ten years time, I honestly don’t think I want to be actively flying. I hope that by that time, some of my current businesses have become million-dollar companies so I can go to the Bahamas, cross my legs and do something with my life. 

    I was telling some people that if you have another business that makes you a lot of money, you’ll suddenly start to see how dangerous this job is. One day someone will scare you and do one horrible landing or take off, then you’ll tell yourself, “I think it’s time to draw the curtains. It’s time to go.” For now, the pay is still distracting us. 

    I’m glad that today is Friday. I’m looking forward to getting off work, drinking Ciroc and having conversations with friends. After all, friends are part of the reason why we smile in this difficult world. I can’t imagine how lonely it’d be if I had no one to talk to about my wins, frustrations and even my dreams. It’s never lonely at the top if you have friends there with you. 


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    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is Mercy. She’s a house help in her early twenties. She talks about leaving home to come to Lagos, the difficulties of her job and how bosses can be mean to house helps.

    MONDAY:

    Every day except Sunday, I wake up by 5 a.m. It takes me roughly one hour to have my bath, dress up and prepare to start my day. I live downstairs, and the family I’m working with stays upstairs. Before 6 a.m., I go upstairs, knock on their door, and they let me into their side of the house. And so my day begins.

    The first thing I do is make breakfast. I have to ensure that before everyone wakes up, food is ready. Breakfast in this house is by 7:30 a.m. Sometimes, if I’m done making the food early, I’ll clean the house. Other times, I’ll do laundry. There’s a washing machine in the house, but there are some clothes [white shirts, nativewear] I prefer washing with my hand because the machine would spoil it.

    Sometimes, if I’m hungry while preparing breakfast, I take out my own food and eat. Then I continue working. If I don’t feel like eating, I cover the food and continue with chores. Before 8 a.m., I’m usually done with anything chores and breakfast, so I go downstairs to rest. 

    Lunch is by 1:30 p.m, so I start preparing it by noon. We eat swallow for lunch because mummy says eating it at night won’t allow the food to digest. After lunch, if there’s no other work, I go back downstairs to rest. 

    By 4 p.m., I go upstairs to prepare supper, and I’m done under two hours. In the evening, we eat light food like beans or spag or potato. We also try to eat around 6 p.m. There’s nothing to do after I’m done cooking today, so I go downstairs for the last time. The next agenda is to have my bath and sleep.

    TUESDAY:

     I’m thinking about how staying alone downstairs is boring for me. I have nobody to talk to. I’m the only one downstairs, and nobody talks to me upstairs. It’s only when they want to send me on an errand that they talk to me. 

    I was using a phone that had Facebook. I used it to waste time whenever I was downstairs. But the other day, heavy rain came and I went upstairs to close their windows. By the time I got back to my room, rain had entered and soaked my bed, my phone, everything. That’s how the phone stopped working. I don’t think the phone can be able to on again. I just have one small phone I manage to make calls with.

    Loneliness can make someone tired. There’s no one to talk to, no TV to distract you from your thoughts. There’s a TV in the house, but I don’t watch it because how can I say that I’m sitting in my oga’s parlour to watch TV? Even on Sunday, which is my day off, I still can’t do that. 

    I always remind myself to focus on the work that brought me to this house. I have to remember that I’m looking for something. If I work and exhaust myself, I won’t have time to be thinking too much. I’ll sleep immediately I land on my bed. It’s that afternoon boredom I need to work on because that’s when the thing bothers me the most. Though I don’t mind it much because I always remember to focus on my reason for being here.

    WEDNESDAY:

    I’m in Lagos because I have a plan for my life. I’m a hairdresser; I used to make hair very well. It’s just that I never had money to open my own shop, so I decided to drop out of secondary school and do any job to raise shop money. I was supporting myself through secondary school with the business, and it was barely enough. When I now enter university where it’s harder to combine work and school, how do I want to survive? 

    There’s no support from home like that. We are six in our family, so whose education will they pay for? That’s why I dropped out in SS 2 to look for money. Let me start my own business. Maybe it can help my future. 

    It’s not like I’m even perfect in housework. I just know that nothing is hard as long as you put your mind to it. So I spoke to an agent that I needed work. He asked me what kind? I said anyone that’s available. He gave me some options, and I chose housework.

    House girl work favours me because I’m not a Lagos girl. I’m a Hausa girl who came to Lagos. If I’m doing work that requires me to enter buses, I can’t survive. Back home in Taraba state, I used to stay indoors. This Lagos that I came, I didn’t tell my parents until I landed. 

    I like Taraba state because everything is peaceful and the food is plenty. I miss eating fresh yam, fresh corn, groundnut stew. The only bad thing there is there’s no money. The jobs there don’t pay like in Lagos. If I was still in Taraba and someone told me to do house girl, I won’t lie to you, I won’t be able to do it. Me that I was living with my parents and they were feeding me. But since I’ve left home, nobody is feeding me or giving me money, so I have to do the work.

    Every day my mum is always crying for me to come because Lagos life is different. She’s always saying that people from the north are dying in Lagos, and they don’t know why. She’s like if I don’t take care in Lagos, she’s not sure I’ll still be a human being.

    I keep telling her that I can’t come back home without money. I don’t want to go back home and someone will insult me that I left home and didn’t make anything. I call her at least two times a week so she can be hearing my voice. Today, after work, I plan to call her. I just pray that I don’t sleep off because I’m feeling tired. 

    THURSDAY:

    The hardest part of being a house girl is being patient. Every job requires some level of patience if you want to get something from it. Another thing is that you must accept that the work will be hard. If it’s not hard, why will my madam bring someone to help her? 

    You need to have the mind to do house girl work. The reason is that when you’re working for someone, even if something is right and they say it’s not, you have to accept. If the person gets you angry, you can’t show it. If they say you should do something you don’t agree with, you must do it. 

    I have come to realise that in Lagos, many people who are oga or madam treat house girls like slaves. They talk to you anyhow, and if you try to explain yourself, they’ll say you don’t have manners. Some ogas will call you and on your way to meet them they’ll shout: “I called you since; why didn’t you answer me on time?” When you’re doing a chore, they’ll complain you’re doing it slowly. They take you like you don’t know anything and control you. 

    You can’t get angry or take the shouts seriously because you can’t get money easily, and to make money you have to suffer. That one is a normal thing. 

    I like the current family I’m with. They’re nice to me — nobody shouts at me or makes me do stuff I don’t like. I’ve only been in their house for two months, so I’m praying that it remains sweet till whenever I leave. Some people will be nice when you’re new, and when you’ve been in the house for long, they’ll show you a different character. 

    These people take me like I’m their family member. Everything they eat, I must eat. The mum is so nice. When she buys fruit, she’ll be like, “Mercy, don’t think that the fruit is for only mummy and daddy oh, you can eat out of it.” 

    Me, I’m scared of eating oh. Especially when I’m new. I don’t want people to say I’m eating eating eating or I’m finishing their food. 

    These people don’t care if you eat, eat, eat. They’ll say take this if you want to eat. I thank God for blessing me with this very very nice family where no one is shouting at me. 

    FRIDAY:

    I miss my family. I miss my brothers and sisters. I miss the life I had there before I came to Lagos. Today, I’m thinking about how in Taraba, I just sleep and sleep. In the afternoon, my friends would call me for us to go out — we used to go out every day.

    If someone had supported me, I’d have stayed back to graduate because I really like school. I just had to leave home. At a point, while I was at home, my uncle was starting to talk about marriage. The only thing my north people know is marriage, marriage, marriage. You’ll see a young girl like this, and she’s married. Me I’m not that kind of person. Many of them even end up going back to their parent’s house, so what’s the rush? 

    When you marry young, you don’t even get to know yourself. I tried to explain this to my uncle, but he was just choking me with questions: “Do you have a fiance? Do you know you’re getting old?” Me that I’m just 22. 

    I want to have my own business so when I’m married, things will not be hard for me. In this life, if you don’t have money, you’re a dry person. Money stops rubbish. 

    How old am I to be thinking of marriage? Right now, all I’m focusing on is my future. 


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  • “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    The subject of today’s A Week In The Life is Tope. She’s a bouncer and she talks about the stereotypes she faces at work, advances from men, and how difficult it is to be a bouncer during COVID. 

    MONDAY:

    I woke up today thinking about the situation in Nigeria and I’m not happy. How is it possible that a graduate like me is still struggling? 

    I used to work as a secretary, but the money was not enough, so I got a security job. But Corona came, events got cancelled, and I was back to square one, back to struggling to make ends meet. The only good thing that came out of this mess is that I lost weight.

    When Corona started and there were no security jobs, I decided to lose some weight. I shed weight [through anaerobic exercises like jumping] to avoid health issues and because I was starting to look older than my peers. I’d be going on the road with my friends and people would be asking if I was their aunty. Who’s your aunty, please? 

    At first, some people were worried that slimming down would affect my job. Me, I wasn’t. Although many bouncers have big bodies, the job requires intelligence — How can I assess a situation for threats? How can I prevent a situation from escalating? Things like that. 

    I was also banking on the fact that the name I had made in the industry would cover me. At least, some people knew me based on my past services. If all failed, my back up plan was to get hired as an ambassador for weight loss and I’d quit security. However, that hasn’t happened. Yet. 

    That’s why I’m here on a Monday morning thinking about my life. I need to shake off these thoughts so that my day can fully start. 

    TUESDAY:

    What do you remember about your first day at your current job? 

    I remember being very passionate. My first boss was not harsh, so that made things easy for me. As a first-timer, I was put in charge of vendors at a wedding. My job was to prevent guests from going to the vendor’s side especially when they wanted to use the restroom. However, I had this one guest who gave me a tough time. After politely explaining why she could not pass, she threatened to slap me. She got so angry that I had to call my boss to save me. I was just quiet throughout her shouting because we are not allowed to talk back.

    After the party, my boss commended me on how well I handled the incident. That’s how my confidence grew. I also got a mentor that gave me orientation for this job — he told me what to do, how to handle different types of guests and just general advice. One time, people were jealous because I used to get a lot of jobs, so he advised me to stop posting on social media and drawing attention to myself. He told me that as long as the right people knew me, I was fine. It’s been two years since I last posted about my job. 

    Another time, when people were spreading rumours about me sleeping with men for jobs, his belief in me was what kept me going. Every time I wanted to quit, he’d encourage me to stay. It is because of my mentor that I’m still on track in this job.

    I’m remembering all this because I’m frustrated today. A job I was supposed to go for got cancelled. Corona is really spoiling things.

     Let me go and talk to my mentor, maybe I’ll feel better. 

    WEDNESDAY:

    When people hear bouncers, they think we’re fighters or troublemakers. That’s not true. A lot of our job involves brain and not brawn. Because we’re meant to keep the peace at events, we try not to employ violence that can scatter everything. You’ll never see a bouncer shocking [with a taser] someone at an event because that will scare everybody. Instead, we’re always calculating the best way to resolve issues without making a scene. 

    Another misconception people have is that we’re uneducated, and that’s why people look down on us. Or talk to us anyhow. In reality, a lot of us are educated. It’s just condition. At least, the job is far better than sitting at home doing nothing.  I’ve come to accept that there’s no job without its own challenges. 

    I know that this job is not permanent for me. It’s until I find something better or further my studies. I finished from Yabatech and I still want to go to university, but it’s not easy combining this work with looking for admission. I’m just praying that it’ll come through.

    Today, I won’t even kill myself thinking about these things because this life is one. I plan to spend the rest of my day relaxing. 

    THURSDAY:

    One thing about this job is that I get a lot of advances. At work, I hear things like: “Wow, female bouncer. I’ve never seen a female bouncer before, and I like the way you’re kitted. I like your stature and all that.” Most times, it’s from men who are trying to take advantage of me. In their head, they see bouncers as poor people. They believe that if they promise me little things, I’ll fall for them. They want to use you while not doing anything for you. 

    The ones that don’t want to take advantage of me want me to quit my job. I’ve heard men say: “Ah, you’re doing a security job? No oh, you must quit.” The problem is that their head is not correct. Why would they tell me to quit? Did they provide an alternative for me? 

    In this life, nobody can feed you. Only if the person is your husband or your relative. Even still, it’s only after you have become somebody that people will appreciate you. I know that I can’t leave this job because of anyone. Unless I personally decide that I want to leave it. Because I’m not doing it for anyone. 

    You don’t like my job; can you provide me with a better one? If you can’t do that, bye-bye. 

    FRIDAY:

    Today, I’m thinking about how tough the Corona period has been for me. For the first time, I can count how many jobs I have in a week. This is rare. Around this time [October] last year, I was fully booked until January of the next year. By now, I’d even be referring people for work. I’m just putting my faith in God that these last few months will be better. It’s looking like this year is for us to just thank God for life. 

    Corona is even favourable to people doing office work because, at the end of the month, something [salary] will still come in. For us, no work, no money. If you’re sick for one year, you’ll not get any money. The hustle is hard. One time, I had bad cramps and still had to show up at work. My boss was kind enough to put me on toilet duty where I wouldn’t be stressed. I was just standing and stretching throughout that event. There are no days off here.

    During this Corona period, I started selling coconut oil and that’s what has been sustaining me. On the side, I also sell kits and equipment to bouncers as an extra source of income.

    I’m just looking for the opportunity to leave Nigeria. Even if it’s just for one day. If I hustle the way I’m hustling here abroad, I’ll see changes. We don’t value our security in Nigeria. People look at you like, who are you? 

    I’m also looking forward to getting married to a very good person while I have a very good job. Someone that will support all my dreams. At the end of the day, I’m just looking for a better life. I can do any work. As far as money will come out.   


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  • “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    The subject for today is Mr M, a businessman and smuggler. He talks about the risk involved in his job, how bribes affect the prices of goods, and his hope to diversify his source of income.

    MONDAY:

    I wake up with my heart beating very fast. I calm myself down by taking deep breaths. In my dream, I bought large quantities of rice from smugglers who evaded border patrol. Immediately after paying them, customs officers came in and seized the rice. All my money, gone. 

    God forbid.

    This smuggling business is risky — you risk your money, your property and your life. However, if it goes well, it can be highly profitable. Risk varies depending on the part of the smuggling chain you’re in. We have the drivers, who convey the goods from point A to B. These ones risk their lives because they drive at breakneck speeds to avoid being caught. We also have people called crossers. Their job is to ensure that goods successfully cross from point A to B. This involves making “arrangements” with the right officials along a particular route. They risk their time and money because, sometimes, after making all the plans, goods are still seized. Most times, this is due to an unforeseen circumstance like oga from Abuja is around or your money for that day has expired. Then, we have businessmen like me.  I own the goods, the cars, and I pay both the drivers and crossers, so I risk everything. 

    In Nigeria, any profitable business comes with a lot of risks. One of the worst things that can happen is when the car and the goods are seized. 

    Again, God forbid. 

    I’m done with overthinking this early morning. I’m going back to bed.

    TUESDAY:

    Thankfully, there are no bad dreams today. I spend some time thinking about how far I’ve come in this business. I started out as a cab driver and then moved into conveying rice from the border into Nigeria. Then, I gathered some cash and became a businessman who’d buy from people coming from the Seme border.

    Going to the border is a very desperate and dirty job. You can be there for three to five days, sometimes for two weeks and they [customs] may not allow you to pass. As if that’s not bad enough, there are so many processes involved in a single trip.

    The crosser will go-ahead to do the bookings and negotiations. They’ll negotiate a rate with the officers based on the number of cars that are expected to pass through. Because you don’t pay immediately, the next step is getting a tag that drivers present at the checkpoint. We use the tags to know the exact amount of cars to pay for. This is useful in cases where your car doesn’t pass through their checkpoint. I’ve had cases where we booked one checkpoint, but because the officers were fighting with the next checkpoint, they didn’t allow us to pass. Or, you’ll hear that special patrols are monitoring so everyone is playing safe and not allowing cars pass. That way, we don’t pay for services not provided.

    We have people that we call antennas. These are bike men that we pay between ₦3000 — ₦5000/day to be on the lookout for what we call “strange Hiluxes.” These are officers outside of the ones you’ve booked. We mount these antennas at bus stops, and their job is to inform us when they see strange vehicles. They communicate with each other especially in cases where they are trying to get a clear picture of who’s inside the car. 

    You’ll also book [pay] hunters and any other person you think can delay you on the road because you can’t afford any delay while driving.

    I tell people that officers are the cause of increased prices of food. All these payments and bookings are added to the cost of rice. From the border, a bag of rice costs ₦13,500, yet as the direct supplier, I buy for ₦24,000. After I add my profit when reselling, it becomes ₦25,000. By the time the market trader adds their profit and cost of transportation, it becomes ₦27,000. On and on it goes until it gets to the final consumer.

    Nobody needs to tell me that we’re in trouble in this country.

    WEDNESDAY:

    For this job, we build our own cars so they can withstand the load of goods. We change the spring of the car and tyre — we use cargo tyres for trucks. 

    The way you’ll drive a loaded and empty built car differs. For a loaded built car, you can run at a particular speed because that’s when the shock absorbers will work. The car will balance well. However, when you offload the goods, it becomes so light that when you’re climbing anything, you’ll just be hearing gboa! gboa! 

    Some smuggling cars are built for the forest, and their raising is different from the ones built for the express. It’s hard to recognise the cars built for the express because of how neat they usually are. Some drivers even use those ones to do shakara and carry their girlfriends. However, there are some that are God forbid after offloading. You can’t drive them because of how high they get.

    I’m going to spend a large part of my day inspecting the car a mechanic built for me. I sent him some samples, and I’m just hoping that he hasn’t done rubbish. 

    THURSDAY:

    If you ask ten drivers the toughest part of this job, they’ll tell you that it’s the risk. As a driver, you’re always racing against time. I’ve seen too many accidents in this job. 

    One time, one Hilux was pursuing my driver. As he got to the front, road safety people had blocked the road. So, he decided to climb the culvert and that’s how his tyre burst. He lost control of the car and entered the bush. They tracked the trail of his car and still confiscated the goods. 

    Another time, I was following another driver whose tyre burst while at high speed. He lost control and entered into the bush. Thank God we were able to rescue the person. All these even happened when things were still “normal.” Unlike now where everywhere is strict. 

    These days, imported rice is now as restricted as drugs, so we can’t even afford any delay in transit. As the rice is getting to us from the border, we are loading it into vehicles that are taking it straight for sale. In the past, we’d store them at home and load at our own pace, but we don’t have that grace anymore. 

    You can’t even keep a bag of rice at home because customs are now bursting into houses. I know of someone that they broke into his house to seize two bags of rice. 

    All this has made we business owners instruct our drivers to move fast. Like today, one of my antennas told me that one strange Hilux was headed my way. So, I instructed my drivers that they had only one hour to move my goods from point of collection to point of sale. They have only one job: don’t get caught. 

    I know that this can increase the chances of an accident, but it is what it is.

    FRIDAY:

    Today, I can’t stop thinking about how easy it is for this business to cease. There are three things the government can do to end us totally: they can impose free duty on these imported goods so that it’s accessible to everyone. This eliminates the need for smuggling and bribes that increase the price of these goods. If there’s competition, the prices will become so cheap for everyone.

    They can also subsidise the cost of buying the goods. That way, the government can even regulate the price across board. If it’s government-approved, there will be no hiding and there’ll be no need for smugglers. 

    They can also do proper enforcement. This way, even if you bring in half plastic of rice, they’ll come for you. This one will require a combination of army and customs officer. Customs guys can’t shoot like that but if you try to do anyhow, army will show you pepper. 

    Anyhow sha, banning without proper enforcement is where we see our own money because of scarcity. The government is just wasting their time with border closure and enriching people. During border closure, rice went from ₦11,500 per bag to ₦27,500. Some people move as many as 500 bags every week. Imagine the gain per week. There’s no price regulation, so you can sell at any price you want. Even the customs officers and the military men have joined the business because of how profitable it is.

     I’m going to spend my day thinking about other sources of income. I know that this will not last forever. This is the kind of business that you use to raise capital for another business. It’s not something to do for long. Even though I can’t stop wondering: what business can someone do in this Nigeria that will even fetch good money?


    Editor’s note: Name and details changed to protect the identity of the subject. Mr M is a graduate and he says unemployment led him to this job.

    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

  • “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is an optometrist. She debunks the myth that glasses correct eyesight, she gives us tips for healthy eyesight and tells us why she doesn’t see a future for herself in her profession.

    MONDAY:

    These days, I don’t have a fixed time to wake up because it depends on when I sleep. And I sleep at any time because I’m presently in-between jobs. However, on most days, when I sleep at midnight, I wake up by 7 am. 

    Today, when I wake up at 7, the first thing I do is try to plan my day. If I was working, I’d have woken up by 5:30 am 0r 6:00 am so as to beat Lagos traffic. Thankfully, those days are behind me. 

    As an optometrist, a typical clinic day involves assessing patients. A patient comes in and you do a comprehensive eye test. You take patient history, examine the patient’s eyes with a pen torch or an ophthalmoscope (this helps to check the back of the eyes). Then, depending on the patient’s complaints, signs and symptoms (redness of eyes or an injury, or disease), you’d either first treat those symptoms or refract the patient.  

    Refracting the patient means checking the lens power that’s suitable for the patient to see well. And to find out what the patient can also tolerate because you can give a powerful lens that makes the patient see really well but they aren’t comfortable with it. They can’t walk because the ground either appears too high or low. Or the lens gives them a headache. Many times, we have to reduce the clarity to make the patients feel comfortable. For example, for patients who don’t read, there’s no point refracting them to the highest clarity especially if it makes them uncomfortable with their environment. So, I ask patients their occupation to determine what kind of lens to give them. 

    All these things don’t matter for now. My major goal for today is to structure my day in a way that’s productive. But before I continue thinking, I need to eat. I don’t want to faint over anything. 

    TUESDAY:

    Yesterday was productive, but today, not so much. I’ve spent a large part of today daydreaming. Like now, I’m remembering one patient that was brought to the clinic by his parents. An 8-year-old boy who, according to his father, was very stubborn. One day, while the dad was flogging the boy, the cane mistakenly touched the child’s eye. On examination of the eye, we realised that the lens had changed position. That is, the lens was no longer in its normal place. 

    When we checked the eye pressure, it was 50 something and normal eye pressure is between 10-21 mmHg. The boy had already lost his vision. To preserve what was left of the eye, we referred the boy for emergency surgery. Even after the surgery, his sight never returned.

    On days like this, I can’t help but imagine how the father feels. I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive himself. Does he wonder that perhaps if he had controlled his anger, his son would still have two functional eyes? 

    I’m starting to think myself into sadness again. I’m going to sleep and try to restart my day after I wake up.

    WEDNESDAY:

    People are funny sha. Today, a friend texted me asking for “free” tips to take care of his eyes. The person didn’t even offer money for consultation but because I’m nice, I told him some things. 

    The fundamental rule is that you shouldn’t put just anything in your eye. Also, if you use makeup regularly and realise that you are allergic to a particular product, it’s advisable to discontinue it. For people with a family history of glaucoma (not everyone might know), it’s advisable to go to an eye clinic once every year. This is to help in early detection and control of the disease because it has no cure. Glaucoma causes nerve damage in the eyes, which can’t be restored when lost, so early detection is the best bet to slowing its progression. 

    People who stare at computers all day are advised to practise the 20-20-20 rule. That is, for every 20 minutes, you should look at something 20 feet (Editor’s note: 20 feet is as tall as a giraffe or about two and a half times as tall as an artificial Christmas tree) away for 20 seconds. The computer is always in your face, therefore you should look away at intervals. 

     If that isn’t possible, then the next step should be anti-reflective lenses. These help to reduce the strain on the eye because of the light from the screens of computers. Additionally, for UV light, sunglasses are recommended for everyone because UV light can cause a lot of damage to the eye. A lot of people think that sunglasses are for fashion but you’re actually protecting your eyes by wearing them. 

    The most important tip I gave him was that people shouldn’t wait until there’s a problem before visiting the clinic. People should try to check their eyes regularly once a year and shouldn’t see it as a waste of money. Especially in cases like glaucoma (also known as the silent thief of sight), where you wouldn’t detect it until it’s too late.

    I should have charged him for the consultation. Another time will come. 

    THURSDAY:

    One of the biggest misconceptions people have is that glasses are meant to fix your eyesight. They are not. 

    For issues like myopia/short-sightedness (where you can’t see things that are far away) what happens is that images meant to be formed on the retina are formed in front of it. In hyperopia/farsightedness (where you can’t see close images), the image is formed at the back of the retina. While there are many reasons why this happens, the common symptom is that vision at this point is blurry.

    So, how will a piece of glass change how your eyes are? What glasses do is that they manipulate the light coming into your eyes to fall on the retina so that you can see clearly. A child’s prescription changes because their eyes are developing. Even for adults, their eyes sometimes change. It doesn’t mean that glasses cure you; they just help. It’s like saying wheelchair cures paralysis, it doesn’t. It’s only an aid. Some of these conditions are progressive so most people have to change their glasses every two years. Other times, it’s regressive so you also need to adjust your lens accordingly. 

    Factors like diabetes and hypertension also affect vision. If your blood sugar shoots up, there can be sudden blurred vision. There are times patients complain about blurry vision, and I ask them to check their blood sugar. Some say the range is high, so I don’t give them anything because once the blood sugar level comes down, the refractive index (how fast light enters the eye) changes and the lens is wasted. In cases like that, the solution is usually to get their blood sugar under control. 

    The issue of glasses needing a change every time is not our fault. The refractive state of your eyes can change at any time. And because the glasses are for only one state, the glasses will have to be changed when the refractive state changes.

    This is what I spent my whole day doing: convincing someone that optometrists aren’t out to cheat them. 

    FRIDAY:

    Optometry struggles as a profession in Nigeria because it’s not well known and the pay is low. A lot of people come to the eye clinic and don’t even know what optometry is. They just refer to me as an eye doctor. For people that even know, they don’t really understand the scope of what the job entails. Every time I tell someone I’m an optometrist, I have to explain what I do.

    Having to explain all the time can be tiring. I think one of the reasons optometry is not really known is because, in Nigeria, we have over 170 universities and only about seven offer optometry. Even people who attended schools offering the course with me still don’t know what we are doing. 

    One time, a patient asked if I was an optometrist or an ophthalmologist, and I had to explain the difference. Then the person was like: “Why would you spend 6 years on that? Why didn’t you just go for ophthalmology instead?” For people like me who didn’t choose it as a first choice, it’s always very hurtful. It’s like a reminder that I made a mistake when it’s not the reality.

    Another thing is that in clinical practice, there is no clear hierarchy like in medicine where you can become a consultant and charge some kind of money. We don’t have that option. There’s not a lot of difference between someone who has been working for the past 20 years and someone who has been working for 5. You don’t have much to make you invaluable. You can’t even threaten to leave because there’s a newer, younger replacement for you. 

    Today, I can’t help but imagine my ideal future — a satisfying job where I feel like I’m making a difference in the world. It also involves having my own family and living a quiet life.


    Editor’s note: The images used were taken randomly from the internet as the subject wanted anonymity.

    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.