On the Streets is a Zikoko weekly series about the chaos of modern dating: from situationships and endless talking stages, to heartbreak and everything it means to be single in today’s world.
Maribel* (28) ended her eight-year relationship when she met George*. But after he moved abroad and convinced her that marrying another woman was a sacrifice for their future, their relationship unravelled.
In this episode of On the Streets, she shares how that experience changed the way she thinks about love and relationships.
What’s your current relationship status, and how do you feel about it?
I’m single. After everything I went through and invested, I’m exhausted. Right now, I’ve left my fate in God’s hands.
How did you get here? Walk me through your dating history.
My first serious relationship started in 2016. Charles* and I were classmates in SS2, and we stayed together through the rest of secondary school and university.
We also attended different universities but lived in the same area, so there were times when we’d go months without seeing each other. Despite that, the first five years were great.
But by my final year, I’d grown tired of the relationship.
Why? What changed?
I think we got together before either of us had fully grown into ourselves. As we got older, we became very different people.
Charles was passionate about art, but he was also very laid-back. After graduation, he was still working at a friend’s shop and didn’t seem motivated to pursue the goals he always talked about.
I found myself constantly pushing and encouraging him. Eventually, it started feeling like I was nagging him.
That led to more arguments and fights. During these periods, he’d disappear for days without speaking to me.
By 2022, the relationship was already on its last leg. Around that time, I started texting a guy on Twitter. We never met in person.
At first, I entertained him because I was bored, but over time, feelings got involved. About four months in, Charles saw our interactions.
Oh. How did he react?
He was heartbroken. Even though I knew our relationship was falling apart, I still felt guilty. I begged him to forgive me, and he did.
I cut the other guy off, and we tried to keep things going for a few months. Then I met George*.
Tell me about George.
We met at church in April 2022. My friend was taking pictures of me when George walked over to start a conversation. He was handsome and very easy to talk to.
We exchanged numbers and went on a few dates. Six weeks later, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
Technically, Charles was still in the picture, but we were barely hanging by a thread. Once George asked, I officially ended things with Charles.
He was upset. He called me names and blocked me. It wasn’t how I wanted things to end, but it had to happen.
Right. So how did things go with George?
At first, it felt like everything I’d been looking for. He ticked all my boxes and we aligned on so many things, especially marriage.
I’ve always wanted to get married young, and George felt the same way.
When we met, he was already making plans to move to Switzerland. The plan was for him to go first, settle down and eventually bring me over so we could start our life together.
About eight months into the relationship, he got his visa and left Nigeria.
How did you adjust to the distance?
Honestly, it wasn’t difficult. After spending years in a long-distance relationship with Charles, I was already used to it.
We FaceTimed and texted throughout the day. He involved me in everything, and I even helped him sort out things he left behind in Nigeria.
For a while, we were solid. Then he started keeping things from me.
What kind of things?
He became secretive.
Our first major fight was about his flatmate. I’d always assumed the flatmate was a man, and whenever I asked about him, George never corrected me.
Three months after he relocated, we were on a video call when a woman walked past in the background. That was when he casually mentioned his flatmate was actually female.
When I confronted him, he insisted he never lied because I’d never specifically asked whether the flatmate was a man or a woman. Somehow, I ended up apologising.
Looking back, that should have been my warning sign because things got worse from there.
George returned to Nigeria for Christmas in 2023, and we had a really nice time together. Then, two days before he returned to Switzerland, he told me he wanted to marry his flatmate.
Wait, what?
That was my exact reaction.
He claimed it was purely for immigration purposes. His visa situation had become complicated, and marrying her would make it easier for him to stay in Switzerland permanently. He said it was a sacrifice for our future.
I was devastated. I left the hotel we were staying in and went straight to my friend’s place.
My friends immediately said something wasn’t right. They kept asking why the “paper marriage” had to be with the woman he already lived with rather than with a neutral person.
George had an answer for everything. He said marrying a stranger would cost more money. He said it was temporary. He said it would eventually help me relocate, too. I was deeply in love, and I believed him.
So I forgave him and went back.
Why?
At that point, everybody in my life knew about him. I’d invested so much emotionally into the relationship that walking away felt impossible. So I had to stay.
In August 2024, he married her.
He sent me pictures from the wedding and I cried my eyes out.
I’m so sorry. Did the marriage change anything?
Over time, it did. He became less available. We went from speaking all day to talking every few days. Whenever I complained, he blamed work and said he was struggling to balance everything.
Meanwhile, my family kept asking questions.
We’d been together for years and there was still no proposal or clear plan for our future. I couldn’t exactly tell them my boyfriend was already married to another woman.
Eventually, I told George that if he was serious about me, he needed to propose.
He kept making excuses. Work was demanding. He couldn’t travel. After months of waiting, I told him to send me the money and I’d organise it myself.
You planned your own proposal?
I did. Last October, I bought my own engagement ring, planned the decorations, and organised a surprise proposal at a hotel. I even invited my sister and friends and pretended George had arranged everything from Switzerland.
Thinking about it now, it sounds embarrassing. But at the time, I wanted people to take my relationship seriously.
Did the engagement improve things?
Not really. His behaviour remained inconsistent, but I kept convincing myself things would improve.
Then Valentine’s Day happened. He hadn’t posted me on social media in a long while, so I went snooping on his Instagram page. While scrolling through the comments on one of his posts, I noticed an unknown account leaving heart-eye emojis.
I clicked on the profile and realised it was his flatmate. I tried to snoop, but it was private. So I looked for her on other social media platforms. I eventually got lucky and found videos of George and his flatmate. They went on dates and kissed like a real couple.
My heart was shattered.
What did you do?
I immediately messaged her and explained everything George had told me about their arrangement.
She sounded confused. She said they started dating shortly after moving in together. As far as she knew, the relationship was never fake.
The worst part was that she’d heard him talk about me before. She’d even greeted me on some of our calls. George had told her I was his cousin.
Wow
I sent her pictures of us together and showed her everything. She promised she’d confront him, but when I woke up the next morning, I was blocked.
Did you confront George?
Of course. When I sent him screenshots, he twisted everything. He said I was impatient and claimed the closeness between them was all part of the plan.
Whenever I pointed out holes in his story, he’d get angry and insist I didn’t trust him.
By then, I already knew something wasn’t adding up. So I reached out to his sister, whom I’d met briefly before.
She admitted she knew about the marriage but didn’t really understand his plans either. Then she casually mentioned that George had brought his “flatmate” to Nigeria earlier that year and introduced her to family members.
I was shocked. As far as I knew, George hadn’t been in Nigeria since 2023. That was when everything clicked. The lies suddenly made sense.
When I called him for an explanation, he paid no mind to what I’d uncovered. Instead, he was angry that I’d involved his sister.
He ended the call and broke up with me over text. In his message, he said I was becoming obsessed with him and that he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with someone like me.
Just like that, four years were gone.
I’m sorry. How did you cope with the breakup?
It felt like someone had ripped a part of my heart out.
For days, I kept hoping he’d apologise or tell me there’d been some misunderstanding. Eventually, I realised that wasn’t going to happen.
That’s when I finally opened up to my friends. I’d been too ashamed to tell them the truth because I felt foolish. But instead of judging me, they rallied around me.
I honestly don’t know how I would’ve survived that period without them. I’m still not completely over it, but it gets a little easier every day.
So, how have these experiences shaped your idea of love and relationships?
I’ve been wary of loving again.
But I’ve also learnt not to stay in situations that make you uncomfortable simply because you’re worried about what people will think.
Maybe I would’ve left George much earlier if I hadn’t been so focused on proving that my relationship would succeed.
Finally, how are the streets treating you these days? Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.
3/10. I don’t enjoy being single. I still feel hurt, and I question my worth on bad days. But I’m also stronger than I was a few months ago.
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