Last week, we asked 7 Nigerians to share their stories of being dickmatised (losing their common sense because of good dick). Now, we’re back to see if being vagmatised is just as bad.

To discover how far the love of vagina can push seemingly logical people, we asked a bunch of straight men and queer women to share their stories. Here are 7 of the most interesting answers we got.

John, 25/Male/Straight

I think I was vagmatised for the whole of 2019. From the first day I slept with this babe, I knew I was going to die there. I don’t know how to explain it, but her vagina just felt… different.

Every other weekend, I’d drive from Surulere to Ajah, pick her and bring her to my place. Then I’d still have to drop her back that day. She never slept over. It wasn’t until it ended that I realised how insane that set-up was.

Tolu, 27/Female/Pansexual

I was 17 in uni when my very homophobic friend and I became involved. She was insatiable as fuck and I didn’t mind. I was obsessed. We used to have sex for hours non-stop.

We even saw other people (read: men), but those relationships never became sexual. We were enough for each other. Even after her Christain guilt made her out me to our friends, I still ran back when she called.

Even after she took a break from us because she had found Jesus (again), I still went back when she wanted me. Honestly, I don’t know how I escaped that situation, but it ended after 2 years.

David, 30/Male/Straight

I’m not sure if this counts as being vagmatised because it was technically her ass, not her vagina, that hooked me for months. She was the first — and only — woman to allow me do anal.

It was amazing. I’d been wanting to try for years, but I never thought I’d meet a Nigerian babe that not only allowed it but seemed to prefer it. So, I asked her to be my girlfriend after a week.

That’s when I knew I was analmatised (is that it?). I didn’t even like her like that, but I was ready to try and make it work. We dated for 5 miserable months, but on the bright side, the sex was never less than great.

Ada, 26/Female/Bisexual

I think I realised I was vagmatised at about the 4th or 5th time I slept with my partner. I never thought it could happen because, I mean, I have a vagina too and I know my way around it. 

Now, I could spend the entire day eating her out if she’d let me. I even made her a table calendar that is filled with reminders of how great she tastes. Her vagina has made me corny.

Emeka, 27/Male/Bisexual

I was vagmatised by the first girl I had sex with. It happened while I was visiting my grandma in a different state. I was only 16, so sex felt like the greatest thing in the world at the time. I thought I was in love.

I knew I had lost my mind when I turned down the option of travelling out of the country for a chance to see her again. I lied that I missed my grandma and asked to be sent there for the holiday instead.

That was a terrible choice. When I arrived, she was no longer interested in me. I cried, begged and sent her plenty credit, but none of it worked. I still cringe whenever I remember how stupid I was.

Mary, 25/Female/Bisexual

I was vagmatised by my roommate in uni. She was the first girl I ever got intimate with, and I couldn’t get enough of her. We had sex almost every day and I still wanted more.

Up until that point, I was the babe that guys always chased and showered with gifts. With her, the roles were reversed. I was using my allowance to buy her clothes and food. She had a firm grip on my mumu button.

That’s why I almost died when she told me she was no longer interested in women. I didn’t have sex with anyone else for almost a year. I had to cleanse her out of my system.

Samuel, 26/Male/Straight

For as long as I can remember, my spec has always been women in relationships. That way, I know that after we’ve had sex, they can be going back to their boyfriends or husbands.

With the last married woman I slept with, the sex just hit different. I didn’t know when I caught feelings and started pushing for an actual relationship. I never told her to leave her husband for me, but I implied it.

She eventually ended things with me. I can’t say I’m fully over it, but I’m not nearly as pained as I was a few months ago. That being said, I would kill to have sex with her just one more time.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.