Sex Life: Forbidden Sex Is My Favourite Type Of Sex

October 24, 2020

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.


The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 32-year-old heterosexual woman who realised she only enjoys sex with people she’s not supposed to sleep with — what she calls “forbidden sex”.  

When did you start having sex?

After university. But I’d done other kinds of sexual stuff before then. Everything minus penetrative sex. 

Is there a reason you waited until after university?

Saving myself for marriage and all that. 

So, what did you think about sex the first time you had it?

It was just there. I didn’t feel like I had been missing out on anything. It probably didn’t help that it just felt like something I wanted to tick off my list. It wasn’t even with someone I was emotionally or sexually attracted to. 

Why did you want to tick it off your list though?

I was about to turn 25. I expected that I’d be married by then or at least in a stable relationship, but I wasn’t. So, I had a bunch of things I decided to do before 25. Sex was on the list. 

When did you eventually have good sex?

I actually had really good birthday sex a few months after my first time. It wasn’t great, but I thought, ‘Hmm, okay. I can see why people like sex so much’.

It helped that I had always had a crush on the guy. The downside was he was a friend’s ex and still had feelings for my friend. It got messy and I almost lost that friend.

I told myself that I wasn’t going to have sex with anyone that wasn’t a boyfriend or partner ever. Specifically, I told myself to never have sex with people I knew. That was my rule. 

Was it hard seeing that rule through?

At first, no. I wasn’t having sex steadily, but when I did it was really bad. I was actually attracted to the guy and we were on our way to starting a relationship, but the sex sucked.

I honestly just believed I had a problem. Then one night I was working late, I began flirting with a colleague, and we had sex multiple times in his office and in the open workspace. It was the bomb. Scary but also the bomb.

I should mention that no kind of romantic or sexual relationship was permitted between the staff in our office. I never believed I’d break that rule, seeing as I was one of the people who fought to have it in place.

LMAO. Wow.

A few weeks later, I discovered the guy was engaged. At first, I was furious with him and accosted him for not telling me, but that led to very hot argument sex. My orgasm was more explosive than before.

I squirted on the office rug. I didn’t even know my body was capable of that. 

Wild. Did you continue seeing him?

No. He broke it off a week to his wedding, saying he really wanted to be committed. That made me want to chase him more. I didn’t though. My pride would never allow me. 

Was it at this point the rule became a problem?

Not yet because I didn’t even see the pattern. Then I had great sex with another friend’s ex, and I realised the danger was the appeal. I saw that it’s the thing they said I shouldn’t touch that always got me excited.

That was when my rule became a problem. If I’m being honest, it didn’t even become a problem. I just threw it away and began a steady sexual relationship with the friend’s ex.

I told myself I technically wasn’t doing anything wrong because they weren’t dating.

So, you told her?

After months of an internal battle, I did and she didn’t even care. That’s supposed to be good news, but my attraction for the guy just went down. Perhaps it was the way she made it seem like he was her left-over. I don’t know. I sha broke things off with him. 

But you knew it was a thing. 

Not even just with the people I sleep with or where I sleep with them, but also the kind of porn I watch. My preferences are typically stepbrother and stepsister or stepmother and stepson or lecturer and student.

After I turned 27, I realised I was ready to settle down. So when I started dating, I decided to explore roleplay. I told my man that it was my only fetish. He was very open to trying it with me.

We create all these circumstances we think are typically forbidden, complete with scripts oh. We even get the required outfits and go to places where we can act it out properly.

For real?

Yup. For example, when we want to play sugar daddy and sugar baby, we start on a campus and end up in a hotel. I’m sure people will think we’re weird, but there’s nothing like finding a partner that matches your energy.  

Fair point. And there’s no BDSM involved?

None of that, please, dear. 

What’s your favourite roleplay scenario?

Married church minister committing adultery in the church office. Keep me anon. 

LMAO. What’s your sex life these days?

I have a new craving and it’s to fuck handymen, like a carpenter or a mechanic. I don’t know if it’s the porn talking, but I just feel like sex with these type of men would be super lit.  

Right. But you’re still dating?

Engaged actually. 

Does your partner know about your craving?

Oh, yes, he does. He thinks I’m crazy. Haha. Maybe we’ll open the relationship, I don’t know, but I’m happy with where we are. 

So how would you rate your sex life?

10/10 shikena. 



Check back every Saturday by 12pm for new stories in the Sex Life series. If you would like to get this story in your mail before everyone else — complete with inside gist that doesn’t make the final cut, sign up here. Catch up on older stories here.

Ope

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

April 27, 2021

Breakup hurts so much, but few things hurt as bad as friendship breakups. People spend years building friendships and lose them to very few conflicts. For people who downplay the effect of friendships breakups, here’s a list of reasons why they hurt more than anything. 1.No one to borrow money from without paying back. Yeah, […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

September 16, 2021

International advocacy organization, Global Citizen, has revealed the local hosts TV personalities Ebuka Obi-Uchendu and Nancy Isime for the Global Citizen Live event in Lagos, Nigeria. Pan-African broadcast partners are AIM Group, MultiChoice and The SABC. Performances from Lagos will be given by Tiwa Savage, Davido, Femi Kuti and Made Kuti, among others. Burna Boy […]

open grazing
September 16, 2021

In Nigeria, up to 2,000 people die every year due to deadly clashes between farmers and cattle herders over rights to openly and freely graze, and the clashes made about 62,000 people homeless between 2015 and 2017.

In reaction, southern states in Nigeria are passing anti-open grazing laws. But what do they mean?

Recommended Quizzes

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

September 1, 2021

August is over, and here are some of our best quizzes from August. Enjoy: 1. QUIZ: Only Ajebutters Can Get 10/21 On This Quiz Some people like to form ajepako when they’re really ajebutter. Are you one of them? Let’s find out. 2. QUIZ: Sorry, If You’re Under 25 There’s No Way You Can Pass […]

More from Ships

September 3, 2021

Oral sex is a form of sexual pleasure performed by orally stimulating the vagina. Not everyone knows how to perform oral sex properly and some women have experienced the displeasure of terribly performed oral sex. Here are some experiences of the worst oral sex some women have received. Chidera, 25 It was the best and […]

September 2, 2021

As told to Toheeb It’s June 2021, and I’m meeting an old flame. It’s been about a year since he broke up with me, and he’s here to answer a question that plagued me for months after the split: Why did he leave me? For you to understand why this means so much to me, […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X