200+ Questions to Ask Your Lover to Know Them Better

Sometimes, you’re lying next to your person and realise you don’t actually know their thoughts on the best swallow, what they were like at 10, or whether they squeeze toothpaste from the middle or bottom (God, abeg!) That’s why you should be intentional about questions to ask your lover. You want to make sure there are no surprises jumping at you at any point in the relationship.

Whether you’ve been together for two months or two decades, these relationship questions to ask your lover will help you cultivate a deeper bond, laugh more, and connect in meaningful ways. 

Simple Questions to Ask Your Lover

Sometimes the best conversations start with the simplest questions. These easy questions to ask your lover are perfect for lazy Sunday mornings, car rides, or when you just want to hear their voice without getting too deep. They’re the kind of questions that reveal personality in small, sweet ways.

• What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?

• If you could live anywhere in Nigeria for a year, where would you choose?

• What’s one thing you’re really good at that most people don’t know about?

• What song have you had on repeat lately?

• If you had a completely free day with no responsibilities, what would you do?

• What’s your favourite thing about where you grew up?

• What’s something small that instantly improves your mood?

• If you could only eat one Nigerian dish for the rest of your life, what would it be?

• What’s your go-to comfort show or movie?

• What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?

• Do you prefer sunrise or sunset? Why?

• What smell instantly takes you back to a specific memory?

• If you could master any skill instantly, what would you pick?

• What’s your ideal way to spend a Friday night?

• What’s one food everyone loves that you can’t stand?

• Are you a morning person or a night owl?

• What’s the last thing that made you laugh really hard?

• If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?

• What’s your favourite way to waste time?

• What’s one thing you own that you’ll never get rid of?

• If you could change one thing about your daily routine, what would it be?

Get More Zikoko Goodness in Your Mail

Subscribe to our newsletters and never miss any of the action

Zikoko Daily

Subscribe

---

ALSO READ: 100+ Heartfelt Long Good Morning Messages for Her

---

Romantic Questions to Ask Your Lover

When you want to create those soft, intimate moments that make your heart feel full, these romantic questions to ask your lover set the perfect mood. They’re designed to remind you both why you chose each other and why you keep choosing each other every day.

• What’s your favourite memory of us so far?

• When did you first realise you had feelings for me?

• What’s one thing I do that makes you feel most loved?

• If you could relive one day we’ve spent together, which would it be?

• What do you love most about our relationship?

• How do you picture us 10 years from now?

• What’s something about me that you find beautiful that I might not even notice?

• What song reminds you of me or us?

• What’s your favourite thing about coming home to me?

• When do you feel most connected to me?

• What was going through your mind the first time we kissed?

• What’s one moment when you knew I was the one?

• How do I make your life better?

• What’s your favourite way for us to spend time together?

• What do you think our love language is as a couple?

• What’s something I said or did early in our relationship that made you fall harder?

• If you could describe our love in three words, what would they be?

• What’s your favourite physical feature of mine?

• What dream do you have for us that you haven’t told me yet?

• How do you want me to love you when you’re having a hard day?

• What’s one small gesture I do that means more to you than I probably realise?

Funny Questions to Ask Your Lover

Remember how she fell in love with you because you made her laugh a lot? Exactly. There’s no reason to stop making her smile when you become a couple. These funny questions to ask your lover are perfect for when you need to lighten the mood, make each other laugh, or just remind yourselves that you’re with someone who gets your sense of humour.

• If you were arrested, what would your family assume you’d done?

• What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever Googled?

• If you could only communicate using song lyrics for a day, which artist would you choose?

• What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten and actually enjoyed?

• If our relationship were a Nollywood movie, what would it be called?

• What’s your most irrational fear?

• If you had to delete all but three apps from your phone, which would you keep?

• What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever bought online?

• If you could fight any historical figure, who would you pick and why?

• What’s your most useless talent?

• If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest?

• What’s the worst haircut you’ve ever had?

• If you could make one thing illegal, what would it be?

• What’s your go-to dance move when no one’s watching?

• If you were a spice, which one would you be and why?

• What’s the most embarrassing thing in your search history right now?

• If we got a pet together, what’s the worst name you’d seriously suggest?

• What’s your most unpopular opinion about food?

• If you could have any celebrity play you in a movie about your life, who would it be?

• What’s the pettiest thing you’ve ever done?

• If you could switch lives with me for a day, what would be the first thing you’d do?

---

ALSO READ: 150+ Romantic Good Night Messages For The One You Love

---

Flirty Questions to Ask Your Lover

Want to turn up the heat and remind your lover why they can’t keep their hands off you? These flirty questions to ask your lover bring that playful, charged energy that keeps the spark alive. Perfect for date nights, late-night conversations, or when you just want to make them blush.

• What’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever worn?

• What’s your favourite thing about my body?

• Where do you want me to kiss you right now?

• What’s one thing I do that drives you crazy in the best way?

• What’s your favourite thing about our physical chemistry?

• If you could undress me with your eyes, where would you start?

• What’s the most attractive thing I do without even trying?

• What’s one fantasy you’ve had about us that you haven’t told me yet?

• How would you describe our first kiss to someone?

• What outfit of mine do you secretly hope I’ll wear again?

• What’s your favourite place on my body to touch?

• When do you find me most irresistible?

• What’s one thing you’ve wanted to try with me but haven’t mentioned?

• What comes to mind when you see me getting dressed?

• What’s the most romantic place you’d want to kiss me?

• What’s something I could whisper in your ear right now that would make you melt?

• If we had the house to ourselves all day, what would you want to do?

• What’s your favourite way I show you affection?

• How do I make you feel when I look at you a certain way?

• What’s the boldest move you’ve ever made on me?

• If you could recreate one intimate moment we’ve shared, which would it be?

---

ALSO READ: 150+ Sweet Names To Call Your Boyfriend That’ll Make Him Smile

---

Deep Questions to Ask Your Lover

When you’re ready to go beyond surface-level conversation and really understand what makes your person tick, these deep questions for your lover open up meaningful dialogue. They’re for those nights when you want to connect soul-to-soul, not just small talk.

• What’s something you’ve never told anyone but feel safe sharing with me?

• What’s your biggest fear about our relationship?

• What’s one thing from your past you’re still healing from?

• How has your definition of love changed since we got together?

• What’s the hardest lesson you’ve ever learned?

• What do you think your purpose in life is?

• What’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

• How do you want to be remembered when you’re gone?

• What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made for someone?

• What does vulnerability mean to you?

• When do you feel most like yourself?

• What’s one belief you have that most people don’t understand?

• How has your childhood shaped the person you are today?

• What’s something you’re afraid to admit you want?

• What does a meaningful life look like to you?

• What’s your relationship with forgiveness—giving it and receiving it?

• What’s one thing you need from me that you’ve been too afraid to ask for?

• How do you handle pain or disappointment when it feels overwhelming?

• What’s something you used to believe about love that you no longer think is true?

• What part of yourself are you still trying to accept?

• What do you think we’re meant to teach each other in this relationship?

---

ALSO READ: 150+ Pick Up Lines for Girls That’ll Make Her Blush

---

Questions to Ask Your Lover About Your Relationship

Sometimes you need to check in on where you both stand and how you’re growing together. These questions to ask your lover about your relationship help you stay aligned, address issues before they become problems, and celebrate what’s working.

• What’s one thing I could do differently that would make you feel more loved?

• Are there any unspoken expectations you have of me that we should talk about?

• What’s the biggest challenge you think we’ve overcome as a couple?

• How do you feel about how we handle disagreements?

• Is there anything you wish we did more of together?

• What’s one way our relationship has changed you for the better?

• Do you feel like I really listen to you when you talk?

• What’s something we used to do that you miss?

• How can I better support you when you’re stressed or overwhelmed?

• Is there anything you’ve been holding back from telling me?

• What do you think is our biggest strength as a couple?

• How do you feel about the balance of giving and receiving in our relationship?

• Are you happy with how much quality time we spend together?

• What’s one thing you appreciate about how I love you?

• Is there anything about our relationship that scares you?

• How do you feel about how we split responsibilities?

• What’s one boundary we should establish or revisit?

• Do you feel like we’re growing together or growing apart?

• What’s something you need more of from me emotionally?

• How can we keep our relationship feeling fresh and exciting?

• What do you think we should work on as a couple?

---

ALSO READ: 150+ Love and Trust Messages for the One You Love

---

Questions to Ask Your Lover About Their Childhood

Understanding where your lover came from helps you understand who they are today. These questions to ask your lover about their childhood reveal formative experiences, family dynamics, and the moments that shaped them into the person you love.

• What’s your earliest memory of your childhood?

• What was your relationship with your parents like growing up?

• Did you have a favourite hiding spot as a kid?

• What’s one rule from your childhood home that you’ll never follow as an adult?

• What did you want to be when you grew up?

• Who was your best friend in primary school and what happened to them?

• What’s one thing your parents did that you’re grateful for now but hated then?

• What was your favourite game to play as a child?

• Were you closer to your mom or dad growing up? Why?

• What’s something you got in trouble for a lot as a kid?

• Did you have any nicknames? How did you get them?

• What’s a family tradition from your childhood that you want to continue?

• What was your favourite subject in school?

• What’s one way your childhood home felt different from your friends’ homes?

• Were you a shy kid or outgoing?

• What’s the best gift you ever received as a child?

• Did you have any fears as a kid that seem silly now?

• What did a typical weekend look like in your house growing up?

• What’s one thing your younger self would be surprised to learn about you now?

• Who was the adult you looked up to most as a child outside of your parents?

• What’s a childhood experience that you think shaped your personality the most?

---

ALSO READ: 250+ Deep, Romantic Love Messages That Will Melt Her Heart

---

Thoughtful Questions to Ask Your Lover About the Future

Talking about the future helps you see if you’re on the same page about where life is headed. These questions for your lover about the future aren’t about pressure; they’re about dreaming together, planning together, and making sure you’re building toward something you both want.

• Where do you see yourself in five years?

• Do you want kids? If yes, how many?

• What’s one thing you absolutely want to accomplish before you die?

• How important is marriage to you?

• Would you ever want to live outside Nigeria? Where?

• What does your ideal life look like 10 years from now?

• What kind of parent do you think you’d be?

• How do you picture us growing old together?

• What’s one experience you want us to have together in the next year?

• How do you feel about pets? Would you want one?

• What’s more important to you: career success or work-life balance?

• How involved do you want your family to be in our future life decisions?

• What’s one dream you have that you’re actively working toward?

• Do you see us living in the city or somewhere quieter eventually?

• How do you want to celebrate milestones together?

• What’s one thing you hope never changes about us?

• What values do you want to instill in our future (kids, home, life together)?

• How do you feel about joint finances vs. keeping things separate?

• What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?

• What traditions do you want to create with me?

• What’s one fear you have about our future together?

---

ALSO READ: 150+ Heartfelt Prayers for Your Boyfriend

---

Questions to Ask Your Lover About Intimacy

Intimacy isn’t about putting each other in different positions in the bedroom; it’s an emotional, mental, and spiritual connection, too. Whether you’re old-time lovers or lovers looking to make things official, there are important questions to ask your lover about intimacy that’ll help you understand their needs, desires, and boundaries so you can love them better in every way.

• What makes you feel most emotionally intimate with me?

• Is there anything about our physical relationship you’d like to explore more?

• How do you feel about our sex life right now?

• What’s one thing that makes you feel desired by me?

• Do you feel comfortable telling me what you want in bed?

• What does emotional safety look like for you in our relationship?

• Is there a specific way you need me to initiate intimacy?

• What’s something that turns you on that I might not know about?

• How do you want me to respond when you’re feeling vulnerable?

• What’s one boundary we should talk about when it comes to intimacy?

• Do you feel like we balance physical and emotional intimacy well?

• What’s your favourite way for us to be close that doesn’t involve sex?

• How can I make you feel more comfortable opening up to me?

• Is there anything about sex or intimacy that you’re curious about?

• What’s one thing I do during intimate moments that you love?

• How do you feel about trying new things together physically?

• Do you think we communicate well about our needs in the bedroom?

• What does aftercare look like for you—what do you need after we’re intimate?

• How can I better support you when you’re not in the mood for physical intimacy?

• What role does physical touch play in how you feel loved?

• Is there anything you’ve been nervous to bring up about our intimate life?

---

ALSO READ: 200+ Romantic Birthday Wishes For Your Girlfriend To Make Her Feel Loved

---

Questions to Ask Your Lover About Their Dreams

Everyone has dreams, places they want to visit, a career they wish to follow or even a wild idea that tugs at their heart every night. Your romantic partner isn’t any different. Asking your lover about their dreams helps you understand what lights them up, what they’re reaching for, and how you can support them in becoming who they want to be.

• What’s one dream you have that you’ve never told anyone?

• If money weren’t an issue, what would you do with your life?

• What’s something you’ve always wanted to learn?

• If you could switch careers tomorrow, what would you do?

• What’s one place you dream of visiting and why?

• What does success look like to you?

• Is there a version of yourself you’re working toward? What does that person look like?

• What’s one goal you have that scares you a little?

• If you could master any art form, what would it be?

• What’s something you wish you’d started earlier in life?

• What impact do you want to have on the world?

• Is there a business or project you’ve always wanted to start?

• What would your dream home look like?

• If you wrote a book, what would it be about?

• What’s one thing on your bucket list that you’re determined to do?

• Who do you want to become in the next five years?

• What’s a skill you’d love to have but haven’t pursued yet?

• If you could wake up tomorrow with one talent, what would it be?

• What’s a cause or movement you wish you could contribute more to?

• What does your dream day look like from start to finish?

• How can I support you in achieving your dreams?

---

ALSO READ: 200+ Romantic Good Evening Messages For The One You Love

---

Perfect Questions to Ask Your Lover During a Fight

Fighting is inevitable in relationships, but how you handle it makes all the difference. Knowing the right questions to ask your lover in those heated moments can turn conflict into a chance for deeper understanding.

• Can you help me understand what you’re actually upset about?

• What do you need from me right now?

• Are we really fighting about this, or is something else bothering you?

• How can we solve this together instead of against each other?

• What am I doing that’s making this worse?

• Do you need space right now, or do you want to keep talking?

• What would a resolution look like for you?

• Is there something I said that hurt you that I’m not aware of?

• Can we take a break and come back to this when we’re calmer?

• What are you afraid will happen if we don’t resolve this?

• Am I making you feel heard right now?

• What’s the real issue underneath this argument?

• How can I show you I’m taking your feelings seriously?

• Is this about what just happened or something from before?

• What do you wish I understood about your perspective?

• Can we agree on one thing right now before we continue?

• What would help you feel less defensive?

• Are we both trying to win, or are we trying to understand each other?

• What do you need me to acknowledge before we move forward?

• How do you want me to handle situations like this in the future?

• Can we remember that we’re on the same team?

---

Take the survey here.