Sometimes, it’s not the big betrayals but the small, cringe-inducing moments that quietly kill attraction. After getting these Nigerian women to open up about their icks, we asked Nigerian men to share their own experiences. They opened up about the random, hilarious, and sometimes shocking moments their partners put them off.
“She’s too fake” — Alex*, 29
In Alex’s* case, he didn’t expect his partner to be more committed to her online image than their actual relationship
“My last relationship didn’t even last six months before I ended it; she felt fake, and that really bothered me. She talked badly about her friends to me, shared their secrets, and judged them for the same things she did. Then she acted all sweet with them online, and that really threw me off.
She was also obsessed with cameras; every private moment ended up on the internet. It got so bad that I started feeling anxious around phones. She didn’t even have that many followers, but she acted like an influencer and constantly pressured me to play along.
The final straw came during one of her visits. My flatmate was setting up a birthday surprise for his girlfriend with balloons, a money bouquet, and flowers. She saw it and said it looked pretty. Later, I found out she had snapped it and sent it to her friends with the caption, “See what my baby did for me today.” She forgot to remove me from the list.
I felt so embarrassed that I couldn’t even say anything. That was when I realised how far she’d go to keep up appearances. I knew I was done.”
“She was obsessed with astrology” — Tobi*, 28
Tobi* assumed his girlfriend’s interest in cosmology was harmless until it became the constant reference point in their issues.
“Before we started dating, my girlfriend suddenly became really interested in star signs. In hindsight, that should’ve been my first red flag. I didn’t realise how obsessed she was until it started affecting our relationship.
Soon, every argument and decision came down to astrology. She’d say things like, ‘I’m emotional because I’m a Cancer,’ even when she acted controlling and bossy. She wanted to know my every move, but freely went out with her friends. She used astrology to justify her bad behaviour. During fights, she never took accountability and blamed her Aries sign for her actions.
The day she told me again that we weren’t compatible because of our signs, I lost it. I reminded her she’s Oluwatosin from a Yoruba Christian home, not some moon goddess. That was when I checked out.”
“She danced legwork in the club” — Charles*, 32
What started out as a fun night for Charles* ended with a public performance which left him with a lifetime supply of embarrassment.
“In 2024, I started seeing this girl casually and already suspected she couldn’t handle her liquor. The night we went clubbing confirmed it.
She drank from random people’s cups and even walked up to strangers asking to taste their drinks. I found it rude and reckless. Then she got so drunk that when I tried to take her home, she refused and caused a scene.
As people began to stare, I stepped back before anyone thought I was forcing her. Next thing I saw, she jumped into the middle of the dance floor, doing legwork and wild, trenches-style dances with strangers. I’d never been so icked out in my life. At some point, she took off her heels, lifted her gown slightly, and kept dancing. That image still haunts me.
When I finally got her home, I couldn’t stop replaying everything in my head. That’s when I decided I couldn’t take the relationship any further.”
“She’s uncomfortable in her own skin” — Fawaz*, 36
For Fawaz*, dating someone who always looked like she was set for a beauty pageant quickly became exhausting.
“The girl I’m seeing can’t step out without a full face of makeup. It’s not just for special occasions; even when we’re just hanging out casually, she’d show up looking like she’s headed to a wedding.
At first, I assumed it was because I’d never spent the night at her place. But even when she stayed home, she’d still have on light makeup. The strangest part was how she kept makeup on during sex. I didn’t see her barefaced until one random day, and she looked so different that it completely threw me off.
It‘s started to feel like she’s uncomfortable in her own skin. Over time, it’s become a real issue, especially when we go on casual dates and people stare because she’s overdressed and overdone.”
“She acted like being ‘one of the boys’ was an achievement” — Emeka* 24
Through the constant need for male validation, Emeka’s ex icked him out of their relationship.
“We met shortly before the COVID pandemic, and through long calls and late-night chats, I fell for her. When the lockdown eased and we finally started spending time together, I began to notice things that gave me serious icks.
First, she called everyone “baby.” It didn’t matter if it was a guy or girl. I found it strange because I was her boyfriend — shouldn’t that nickname be reserved for me? When I brought it up, she brushed it off, saying I was too fixated on trivial things.
She also bragged about not keeping female friends because ‘women are somehow.’ She acted like being ‘one of the boys’ was an achievement. I ignored it until I saw her hanging out with her male friends one day.
Her actions made me physically cringe — she tried too hard, laughed too loudly, forced herself into conversations that didn’t concern her. The guys looked bored, but she just kept going like a ‘pick me’. Watching her that day made me cringe so much; all I could think about was how embarrassing it looked from the outside.
I mentally checked out of the relationship that day. I didn’t end things immediately, but I knew it was only a matter of time.”
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