Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Juwon* (25) and Debola* (26) knew of each other from school, but it wasn’t until 2020 that they really connected. A magazine cover shoot soon followed, and with it came conversations that blurred the line between work and something deeper.
On this week’s Love Life, they talk about navigating their different backgrounds, why bluntness and “tough love” almost tore them apart, and why five years later, they’re still choosing each other.
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What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Debola: It was January 2020, during a fellowship session at university. The Bible study teacher was praising Juwon for his discipline around women, and I was making faces because I didn’t believe anyone could be that strict. That’s when I first noticed him in church, but we didn’t interact until months later.
Juwon: My earliest memory with my baby came in April 2020 when we started working together. I make magazines, and she runs an albinism foundation. She featured as the cover model of my magazine, and from there, we built a professional relationship.
Like she said, I was the tough brother who didn’t give attention to women, so I hadn’t noticed her when we were in uni. It was only after we started talking that I realised she was a student in my Sunday school class.
I see. How did you guys start working together?
Debola: I write a lot. Back then, I mostly typed my thoughts on my WhatsApp status and they disappeared after 24-hours. There wasn’t a way to keep them permanent.
One day in April, a church member told me about how I could publish my articles on Juwon’s blog. I liked the idea, got his contact, and sent him a message: “Good evening sir, my name is Debola. I want to put my article on your blog. Person xyz gave me your contact.”
Juwon: That day is still fresh in my memory. I ran the blog to give writers a platform to share their work. When Debola sent her message, I agreed to publish her content. That was actually our first encounter before the magazine.
So how did things move from a professional relationship to something more?
Juwon: At first, we only talked whenever she had new articles. But over time, our conversations grew. We had a lot to say about our goals and work. Soon, we couldn’t go a day without talking.
At some point, I told her I had a crush on her, but I made it clear nothing could happen because I was in a relationship.
Debola: I focused on keeping things professional. He talked about building a system to spotlight writers, and I shared my plans to grow as a beauty and commercial model. I also told him about my work as an albinism advocate. We bonded as two career-oriented people with big dreams.
Then out of nowhere, this man said he had a crush on me and had always found models attractive. You should have seen the bombastic side eye I gave him.
Screaming.
Debola: I was shocked by how he went about it. He said, “I need to tell you something important, but don’t take it to heart.” Then he confessed his crush, with a caveat that nothing could happen. I wasn’t even seeing him that way, so I easily moved on from whatever he confessed.
Why weren’t you seeing him “that way”?
Debola: I had a lot of people asking me out, and I was praying to God for clarity. I just wanted to keep our relationship professional. I didn’t know he was already catching feelings.
Right. So when did the magazine cover happen and how did your relationship progress over time?
Debola: The cover happened in October 2020. Through that period we maintained our professional relationship. Any interest beyond that was from his end. I was just focused on work.
Juwon: As much as I’m a blunt guy, I’m actually very shy with love. I couldn’t ask Debola out, and I didn’t even know how to move forward after admitting my crush.
My previous relationship was already collapsing, but I was still patching things up and trying to save it. I couldn’t handle two relationships simultaneously. Even if I wanted to go for Debola, I knew I would have to end my relationship first.
So did your growing interest in Debola speed things up?
Juwon: It definitely did. I gave up on the relationship quickly, and even told Debola.
But my ex became one of the issues we faced when trying to start something new. Debola was sceptical because I’d been loud about that relationship. Moving on quickly raised questions, so I had to end things fast.
Debola, you mentioned earlier that you didn’t take his interest seriously. When did that change?
Debola: The biggest problem was that he had a babe. But as someone who loves acts of service, gifts, and words of affirmation, Juwon was ticking all the boxes.
He bought me food, gave me gifts, and helped with paperwork at my foundation. As a writer, sweet words came easy to him, and they swept me off my feet.
I remember in January 2021 when he delivered a copy of the magazine. He said something like, “I’m going to marry you,” and I laughed it off. Sweet words, but they came from someone still in a relationship.
By February, he told me he’d ended things with his babe, but I didn’t take his word for it. I needed proof. He’d been loud about her, so I couldn’t believe him without confirmation. And there was no way I’d move forward without knowing the old ship had sailed.
Eventually, I found out it was true. The breakup caused drama with his friends and teammates in school. People said the magazine cover girl had snatched Juwon. It was tough, but he stood up for me and declared I was who he wanted.
Even then, I was scared. I kept thinking, “Are you sure you won’t see another babe and leave me like this?” But almost five years later, we’re still here.
Sweet. I’m curious though. When did things become official?
Juwon: The day I asked if I could “eat” her lips, my first bold request.
Debola: It happened over a series of events. There was a scary cult clash near my hostel, and I asked Juwon to come pick me and my best friend up to his place, which was safer. But then I worried about his safety too, so I told him to stay back. He refused.
He said my safety mattered because I was his woman. I quickly told him I wasn’t his woman yet. He went on about how we already spent time together and moved like we were an item, but I stood my ground.
The next day, he showed up at my hostel. My roommates left us alone in the room, and suddenly it became so hot. There was this heavy silence between us until he broke it with, “Can I eat your lips, please?” I asked, “What’s stopping you?”
We kissed. Then he said, “Will you stop the games and be my baby already?” I still didn’t say yes.
I went to his house on March 15th, 2021, to finally say yes.
Sounds like a rollercoaster. Curious though, did you think enough time had passed since his last relationship?
Debola: Honestly, it wasn’t enough time. I felt guilty sometimes. I struggled with facing certain people and situations. But the heart wants what it wants.
Juwon also kept reassuring me I didn’t break them up, he said just needed a reason to leave.
Fair enough. What were the early days of your relationship like?
Juwon: It started well. The first two or maybe three months were good. The beginning of something always feel rosy, but after a while, reality sets in.
We had lots of ego clashes. We were both founders of organisations, so we struggled to agree on certain things. I’m also traditional, while she’s more outgoing. That was the first major issue we had to deal with.
Debola: I agree. The first two months were fun and romantic. We spent nights under moonlight, ate out, took pictures and had all the fun that came with the honeymoon stage of a relationship. But we started clashing over everything.
I realised Juwon came from a completely different background. We had different communication styles. Everything that could tear us apart seemed to show up.
What were some of these issues that threatened to tear you apart?
Debola: He was very blunt. I felt he needed to bend some rules for me as his woman, but that wasn’t Juwon. He also didn’t know how to express himself without raising his voice. It was strange.
I liked to talk things out immediately. It always felt like I’d explode if I didn’t. Again, this wasn’t Juwon’s style. He’d rather let things linger.
Also, he was used to strict and highly disciplined parenting, which was the complete opposite for me. I grew up with really gentle parenting, and it reflected in how I went about my life. Those differences caused lots of clashes between us.
And as a person with albinism who struggled to build her self-esteem and already had stuff working for her, I had my own ego. I wasn’t about to let up.
But didn’t you notice some of these things before you started dating? Especially his bluntness…
Debola: I knew but I expected him to cut me some slack when we got together. Not every truth needs to be shared. Some should be repackaged for your partner, some kept for private conversations, but as long as it’s the truth and seems right, Juwon will talk.
The other issues only came up once we were deep into the relationship.
Juwon: I’m an indoor person due to my upbringing. I don’t care much for going out, public displays of romance or what people call “romantic stuff.” In fact, I even wanted to keep the relationship private. I told her we shouldn’t post each other on social media.
Most of what I could do ended in chats or private conversations. That became a struggle because she was the opposite — outgoing, free-spirited, and full of life. While she wanted us to go out, attend events together, or just enjoy experiences outside, I often pulled back.
Slowly, without realising it, I was forcing her to live my way instead of finding a balance. That created tension between us. While I thought I was being myself, it felt to her like I wasn’t willing to grow or flow with her vibe.
Debola: I had serious issues with this “no posting” rule. He flaunted his ex everywhere. Then it got to my turn, and suddenly he wanted privacy. As how?
Wild. Don’t you think keeping things private could have sent the wrong message, Juwon?
Juwon: I only wanted privacy because it was too soon after my last relationship. As much as Debola hesitated to say yes, I was also worried about what people would say. I’m a loud lover and people always know all about my love life. I was posting about my ex every day and talking about her all the time. Then all of a sudden, I stopped. Everyone had questions. I didn’t want to bring Debola into that.
I didn’t want people comparing or saying I left my ex for Debola. At some point, even she thought I was hiding something or trying to double date. I ultimately had to go public.
Right. Did you guys ever resolve the other issues?
Juwon: She had to sit me down after one of those moments I was blunt in public. We got back from church that day, and she told me plainly that I couldn’t treat her the way I spoke to others. She said, “You’re my baby.”
That was the first time it hit me — she’s my lover, not just someone I could talk to anyhow. I had to learn her language and be mindful of how I addressed her, especially in public. She’s lived with albinism all her life, built her self-esteem despite discrimination, and I shouldn’t be the one pulling down her walls. I should be reinforcing them with love. I realised I’d been operating with the tough love I got from my family.
Debola: That tough love thing was hard. I grew up with soft love, so I found it strange that someone could be like Juwon. My first mistake was trying to change him to become more like me. But I eventually realised he’d been this way for over two decades, and I couldn’t undo that overnight.
To show how serious it was, we were still clashing over the same things two years into the relationship. It felt like he wasn’t willing to change.
Eventually, I had to accept that everyone can’t be the same. I spoke with older friends and married couples, and they told me I had to meet him in the middle. That meant calming down and giving him time to process his emotions. If you leave Juwon, he’ll take two days before he’s ready to talk, but me, I’d have died in that time. These days, 30 minutes is enough for him to process and come back to the table.
God abeg. It’s been about five years together, what would you say is the best thing about being with each other?
Debola: I love that we’re growing and evolving together. I love that we win together. Not many people believe in long-term relationships, and even fewer believe in relationships with people living with albinism. We’re a testament that it’s possible.
Juwon: I agree. I’ve learnt so much in these years. I have a clearer vision of life, and Debola has been my biggest supporter. She’s never once talked down on my dreams. She also has big dreams of her own; she runs an albinism foundation, and I’ve become a preacher on her behalf. I advocate for albinism now, thanks to her.
We’ve had to defend our relationship too. People make side comments, and sometimes we let them know we can hear them. But in all, love lives here. I tell Debola often that her albinism is the last thing on my mind. In fact, it doesn’t even register until someone else brings it up.
And how do your friends and family feel about your relationship?
Debola: My mum loves Juwon so much, she treats him like her son. My sister sees him as her brother. Everyone thinks we’re obsessed with each other. We’re that couple that doesn’t let the singles breathe.
Juwon: My parents are traditional — mum’s a doctor, dad’s a pastor — but they’re not discriminatory. I told them ahead of time that I was dating a special woman, and showed them her pictures and videos. They were curious and excited to meet her.
When she visited the first time, they already knew what to expect. Now she visits even when I’m not around, and they’ve always welcomed her. My mum, especially as a doctor, is curious about how Debola maintains her spotless skin. They’ve all been very supportive of us.
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How would you both rate your love life on a scale of 1-10?
Juwon: 8/10. We’ve built something solid and weathered storms that could’ve sunk us. Those challenges made us stronger. Our willingness to grow together is what keeps us going.
Debola: I’ll say 9/10. That missing one percent is for our imperfections. We’re two people with big personalities, and it takes effort to keep the ship steady. But I love this man deeply, and I know it’s mutual. It hasn’t been easy, it still isn’t easy, but we’re doing good.
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.
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