Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Binta* (27) and Jibola* (32) grew up in the same neighbourhood, but a random WhatsApp group confession in 2019 kicked things off romantically.
On this week’s Love Life, they talk about falling hard and fast, the toll long-distance and immaturity took on their early relationship, and how surviving heartbreak, divorce and failed engagements gave them the second chance they didn’t know they needed.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Jibola: I’ve known Binta for most of my life because we grew up in the same area. We didn’t really talk, but I’d always see her around, especially at mosque programmes. She’s an ajebo and didn’t go out much, which I liked. I thought she had nice cheeks and wanted to marry her one day.
However, our first interaction happened in 2019, after she admitted she had a crush on me. As a sharp guy, I texted her and admitted I felt the same. We started dating the next day.
Binta: My earliest memory of Jibola goes back to my teenage years. We attended the same school and ran into each other at mosque programmes, and that was it. But I developed a crush on him after an incident in secondary school. I think I was in JSS 3 and he was in SS1. The school bus had arrived but wasn’t moving. While we waited, my school mothers noticed I was sweating and started fanning me. They also tried pulling off my hijab to admire my curly hair. Amid all that chaos, Jibola was being the bus clown. He kept cracking jokes, and he winked at me when we locked eyes at some point; it felt so personal. I think I’ve liked him since then. But nothing happened until years later.
Right. What happened?
Binta: After graduation, someone created an alumni WhatsApp group so old students could keep in touch. He was already in uni while I was still seeking admission, but we were both in the group. One day, during a game session, the admin asked us to reveal our school crush. I didn’t hesitate to mention Jibola’s name.
Almost immediately, he texted me, and I was over the moon. He was so polite. He said he’d noticed me for a long time and had always liked me. Then he asked if he could be my boyfriend, if I wasn’t already seeing someone. I told him I’d pray about it, and the next day, I said yes.
Nice. Didn’t you find anyone else when you got to uni, Jibola?
Jibola: Not really. I got with a few girls here and there, but nothing serious. I have a specific type, and Binta was the only one who fit. Every other girl lacked something, so I didn’t feel strongly about them.
What’s your type?
Jibola: I’m particular about family background. I watched Binta grow up in our neighbourhood and knew she came from a good home. Her family is cool people — not too serious, not too strict. They had the perfect balance I admired from afar.
Beyond that, Binta matched my physical specs — pretty, moderately sized ass and smelled great. She’s also a foodie, which, to me, meant she could cook. She ticked every box. My heart stayed with her even when I messed around with other girls. So when she said I was her crush, I did what was needed immediately.
Fair enough. What were the early days of your relationship like?
Jibola: Very rocky; the distance didn’t help. We fought constantly, and she never backed down. She’s very opinionated, which caused many issues at the start.
We broke up and made up about 20 times, most of which she initiated. I wasn’t blameless either because I didn’t handle certain fights well. But looking back, I think everything that happened led us to where we are now.
Binta: Exactly. We fought so much, and I think our birth order played a role. I’m the firstborn, and he’s the last. I was raised with stricter principles, while he wasn’t. Jibola was extremely nonchalant, and I kept flagging his behaviour. It was always one issue or the other.
The distance didn’t help either. I was still at home seeking admission while he was in school. I often got jealous because I assumed he was seeing other girls. He’d reassure me that I was the only one, but I kept saying I didn’t trust him. It was my first relationship, and I honestly didn’t know what I was doing. I did a terrible job, and it fell on him to keep the relationship going.
Sounds tough.
Jibola: I was hot-headed and egotistic, too. I didn’t think I needed to keep reassuring her that I wasn’t cheating because I wasn’t. I just expected her to believe me. So when she threw her tantrums, I refused to apologise. I thought she was doing too much and had low self-esteem.
Binta: To make matters worse, I finally gained admission and started getting attention from other guys. We drifted even more.
Jibola: I think her admission really shook me. She’d casually mention people asking her out or giving her gifts. That’s when I realised I could lose her to the boys in her school if I didn’t sit up.
Distance seemed to have set everything else in motion. At the start, what made you think you could handle it?
Binta: I didn’t really think about anything when I said yes. He got a ‘yes’ a day after asking me out. I was just excited that we could text and call whenever we liked because data wasn’t expensive. We also planned to see each other during school breaks. But even with the calls and visits, we didn’t handle the emotional demands of long distance well.
Right. So, did you ever resolve your issues?
Binta: Everyone just went their separate ways.
Jibola: We finally broke up in 2022. I’d had enough and ended it. I was extremely frustrated because I was struggling to land a job, and my sisters always took her side because she involved them in our relationship. Even though she begged to come back, I was done.
Binta: His mum actually tried to fix things. She asked me to call, and I did. I texted, called, and even asked him to take a break, but he didn’t budge. He was completely done.
I think we met at the wrong time; that’s how I feel about us. We were right for each other, just not at the time. It was also our first serious relationship, and we made small things into big problems. We lacked experience, and it took being with other people to grow.
Hmmm. So what happened after the breakup?
Binta: I met an old friend at an event later that year. She introduced me to a guy who wanted to settle down quickly. I agreed because I wanted to prove to Jibola that he’d lost something valuable. We dated, got engaged six months later, and married. But it was a huge mistake. I ignored red flags, thinking I could change him.
The marriage turned out to be toxic. He was shallow and physically abusive; the complete opposite of Jibola. After a year, I’d had enough. I filed for divorce and finalised it in March 2024.
Jibola: I also met someone after Binta and I split. We got engaged. I was supposed to relocate and return to finalise wedding plans, but that didn’t work out. Her family started pressuring me to marry, but I stalled because I was repaying debts from the failed relocation attempt.
She later fell sick, and I stayed by her side. I’d always thought she was AA, but during her hospital stay, we found out she was AS, like me. That sped up our breakup. I dated other people after that, but nothing serious.
I heard Binta was divorced sometime last year, and I strongly felt God had given me a second chance.
Did you know when she was getting married?
Jibola: Yes, I did. But I couldn’t do anything. I was the one who ended things and still believed I’d made the right choice. So I stayed away.
I see. So how did you reunite?
Binta: I reached out to him in February 2024, but not for anything romantic. We still had each other on WhatsApp, and one day he posted about a job. I was job hunting and going through my divorce, so I reached out. He helped, and we started talking again.
Jibola: At the time, I didn’t know she was divorced. But once I found out, I became more intentional. It started as pity, but I noticed how she handled herself despite everything she was going through, and it reminded me of how special she is. I knew I couldn’t miss my second chance to get it right with her.
How did that go?
Jibola: She kept things cordial, but I did the heavy lifting of keeping the conversation alive. She didn’t trust me and blamed me for pushing her into a bad marriage. She didn’t think we were worth the trouble anymore, and while I understood, I didn’t give up. I even begged my family to talk to her for me. It took their intervention to rebuild her trust and get her to consider giving us another shot.
Binta: His family made our reunion possible. But even without that, he showed he was serious. He wasn’t the same person I dated years ago. He returned with so much energy, ready to defend and stand by me. It was so intense that I feared people would think I left my marriage just to be with him again, but he didn’t care.
And honestly, I still loved him.
Jibola: We got married in August 2024. I couldn’t let another idiot come and marry my wife again.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
Neat. Binta, how did it feel to go into a second marriage so soon?
Binta: It wasn’t easy, but God was involved. I prayed a lot and spoke to my loved ones. They reminded me that, unlike my ex, Jibola had no serious faults. We were just young and immature when we first dated. And their words reinforced my belief that we’ve always been right for each other, but we only met at the wrong time. This second time felt like perfect timing, and I stopped caring what people would say.
Sweet. It’s been almost a year of marriage. How has it been?
Binta: I only have one word: Blissful.
Jibola: I can’t thank God enough for her. Since we got married, I’ve experienced multiple blessings and peace of mind.
Looking back, I don’t regret how we ended things the first time. It gave us space to grow and be perfect for each other now. I’m thankful that her ex lost a gem, and I got my person back.
Binta: Jibola says my first marriage was like an internship; maybe he’s right.
How have you both matured in handling the issues that affected your first relationship?
Jibola: My wife is still very opinionated, but now I listen with an open mind. Her takes always make sense, so it’s a win-win. And we don’t involve family anymore. We face our issues head-on. Our growth is clear.
Binta: I’m a lot more relaxed now. I don’t take things too seriously anymore.
Got it. So, how would you rate your love life on a scale of 1–10?
Jibola: A solid 10. We work every day to be better. Our experiences shaped us. I’d still choose her, but I pray next time, she doesn’t leave before I realise her worth.
Binta: I’ll give us a 9. We’re a work in progress, so we’re not perfect. But I’d choose him again in my next life. He’s my soulmate.
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.
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