Dating in Nigeria isn’t beans. Between the general stress of adulthood and finding a work-life balance, it sometimes feels like everybody is just recycling the same three people. But babes, dates are still out there.
We spoke to women who are certified GOATs at finding people to connect with, and they shared their secrets. Here’s your ultimate Nigerian woman’s guide to finding dates without losing your mind.
1. Don’t be afraid to go to places alone
“Put yourself out there ” — Ifunanya*, 26, Lesbian
It’s easy to think you need to be in a group setting to go somewhere, have a good time and meet people. But dates won’t miraculously appear in your group chat. Ifunanya swears by solo dates. She thinks a fear of being out and alone is holding other women back from meeting the potential love of their lives.
What’s a memorable first date you’ve secured from implementing this advice?
“I went to a rave by myself once in 2024 and met a babe outside the venue. We sat there because we’d danced so long our legs ached, and we needed to rest. She complimented my outfit, and I told her she was beautiful. From there, she asked me to dance, and we spent the rest of the night dancing. At the end of the rave, she asked me out on a date, and we went the next weekend.”
2. Invest in your looks
“You need to look good to exude an aura that attracts the partners you want” — Demilade*, 29, straight
Demilade says the key to attracting people you want to date is to look good and stay confident in your style.
What’s a memorable first date you’ve secured from implementing this advice?
“I went through a bad breakup in 2018, and stopped doing all the little self-care and confidence-boosting things I used to do. I paid less attention to my hair or nails. Ultimately, I didn’t feel good about myself, so it wasn’t surprising that nobody asked me out.
I found my groove again in 2020 and started investing in my beauty and skincare routines. The most memorable date I landed happened after the first time I made my hair post-lockdown. A good-looking guy saw me at the supermarket, and we went on a lovely date. We didn’t become an item, but my opinion stands: if you want the job, you have to look the part.”
3. Get on the dating apps
“If you’re patient, you can find some real gems” — Amaka*, 26, straight
Amaka met her favourite situationship on Bumble, but she admits it took a while.
What’s a memorable first date you’ve secured from implementing this advice?
“If you’re looking for something serious and long-term, the accessible dating apps in Nigeria may not be what you want. But if you’re looking to join the dating pool, they can be the easiest place to start. When I had Bumble, I swiped for weeks without luck and almost deleted the app. Then this guy messaged me with a silly joke that turned into a riveting two-hour phone conversation. We went out to eat later that week, and though it didn’t end in marriage, it made me more open to trying unconventional ways to meet new partners. Tread carefully, sha, the worst demons also cosplay as angels on dating apps.”
4. Leverage your hobbies
“Do things that take you outside your house. That’s how you meet new people” — Lara*, 25, Bisexual
Lara says you’ll find more dates when you pick hobbies that push you to leave your house. Whether it’s book clubs, salsa nights, hiking groups, or pottery classes, shared interests create fertile ground for genuine connections.
She joined a cycling club to meet more people her age, and she’s already seen great results.
What’s a memorable first date you’ve secured from implementing this advice?
“I just wanted to work out in a fun way and meet my body goals. On the third meet, one of the bikers referred me to a great store to buy shoes. Soon, he became my cycling buddy and a few weeks later, he asked if I wanted to grab dinner. That singular dinner turned into three months of consistent dates. Go and start that hobby, my sister.”
5. Let your friends play Cupid
“Your friends already know your taste. So let them give you referrals” — Tosin*, 27, Straight
Instead of brushing it off when friends say, “I know someone you’d like,” Tosin says you should let your circle set you up. According to her, friends cut through time-wasters because they already know your deal-breakers.
What’s a memorable first date you’ve secured from implementing this advice?
“I whined about being single one day in 2023, and my flatmate said, ‘I actually know someone you’d vibe with.’ I rolled my eyes, but didn’t push back when she gave him my number. Fast-forward a few months, and the same guy became my boyfriend. He was the first man to send me flowers at work, and I loved that. Even though we eventually split up, it was still a lovely experience. I still tease my flatmate that she’s my unofficial matchmaker, and I encourage my friends to link me up with people they think I’ll connect with.”
6. Shoot your shot
“Women wait too much, in my opinion. If you’re feeling him, just say hi” — Fola*, 29, Pansexual
Fola thinks shooting your shot is essential when looking to date more. She says men actually appreciate it when women initiate. And if you’re looking for your type, you’ll have to do some reaching out.
What’s a memorable first date you’ve secured from implementing this advice?
“I saw my Instagram crush in person at a tech event and knew I wanted to talk to him. I noticed he was holding a book I had read. So I walked up to him and said, ‘I loved that book. What do you think of it?’ That was it. We grabbed coffee after the event, and it was fun.
It may be hard when you start, but I promise it’s a sure-fire way to connect with people you’re actually interested in.”
7. Post on social media
“If you post regularly online, you’re going to get people in your DMs begging you for dates.” — Faridah*, 26, Straight
Faridah has been on social media since 2010, when she was still a teen. Years later, she says having an active social media presence is one of the best ways to attract like-minded people to date.
What’s a memorable first date you’ve secured from implementing this advice?
“Most of the dates I’ve been on started from social media. It removes a lot of the pressure of getting to know a stranger in the first stages. I’m in the comfort of my house, and all we’re doing is exchanging texts to see if we share the same interests. I recommend this, especially if you’re someone with social anxiety. But be careful, not everyone is as they seem on social media.”
8. Get out of your comfort zone and travel
“Change your environment and open yourself up to new experiences” — Grace*, 31, Straight
Grace advises changing your environment to loosen up and become more open to meeting people.
What’s a memorable first date you’ve secured from implementing this advice?
“I had a string of brief, terrible situationships when I first moved to Lagos back in 2019, and they made it difficult for me to open up to people or date. In 2021, I spent a week in Abuja for some work, and I met so many interesting people. I didn’t find my future husband there, but I went on a few dates that were really fun.
Sometimes, changing your environment is key to getting back in the game. You don’t have to leave the country to catch the vibe; you can take the train to a neighbouring state or take a sabbatical. It did wonders for me, and now when I feel stuck, I pack up a few clothes and go look good in a different state for the weekend.”
Finding dates in Nigeria isn’t magic. You have to show up, let people know you’re open, and be willing to give new spaces a chance. Whether it’s saying yes to a friend’s referral, joining hobby groups, or even sliding into DMs, the single hot babes know: dates come to those who live fully, not those who wait.
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the respondents.
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