Oluchi*(26) and Nonso* (28) first crossed paths at a party, where a moment of kindness brought them together. But as their relationship grew, so did the cracks between them.
In this story, they share how their relationship unfolded and why it eventually fell apart.
Oluchi: I met Nonso* in September 2023 at a party our mutual friend organised. The last thing on my mind that night was meeting someone. I’d only gone out to have a good time.
At some point during the party, I decided to relax and ended up overdoing it with the drinks.
Nonso: “Overdoing it” is putting it lightly. She threw up everywhere.
I knew the house well, and everyone else was busy with the party, so I stepped in to help. I took her to the bathroom and cleaned her up like any decent guy would do.
Oluchi: I was extremely embarrassed and kept apologising, but he stayed calm about it. He told me to lie down and even brought me water.
Kindness always gets my attention, and in that moment, I suddenly realised how attractive he was. I’d noticed him earlier at the party, but helping me like that made him stand out even more.
Nonso: I thought she was cute, but I didn’t think we’d interact beyond that moment.
But the next morning, she came over to thank me before she left. We also exchanged contacts and started talking from there.
Oluchi: From that day, I imagined the possibilities. I hadn’t dated in a while, and Nonso felt like the one. He checked a lot of boxes for me: confident, attractive, and easy to talk to. I fell for him very quickly.
But the first thing that put me off was having our first date at his house.
Nonso: Actually, that happened because she was in the neighbourhood, and my place wasn’t far from where she was. It wasn’t planned.
We made out a bit, and soon after, she started talking about wanting a relationship. I was caught off guard.
Oluchi: I made it clear I wasn’t interested in casual dating. I didn’t want anyone wasting my time.
When he eventually organised a proper dinner and asked me to be his girlfriend, I was really happy. It felt like things were finally falling into place.
Nonso: To be honest, I didn’t want a relationship that early. We’d only known each other for about two months. But I liked her, and since she made it very clear that was what she wanted, I decided to give it a shot.
Oluchi: We had our good days, until I noticed how he flirted with other women. That was a major red flag.
Whenever we went out, he was always charming and overly friendly with girls. It felt disrespectful, especially when I was right there.
Nonso: I wouldn’t call it flirting. I’m just naturally friendly, and it comes from a deeper place.
Growing up, I struggled with confidence. I was overweight and didn’t have many friends. Now that I look better and people approach me more, shutting them down feels difficult.
But Oluchi always saw my friendliness as something more, and it caused many arguments.
Oluchi: During one of our dates, he made us join two girls in their game and even exchanged numbers with them right in front of me. Who does that?
That moment made me really uncomfortable with his behaviour, so I checked his phone.
Nonso: That was an invasion of my privacy.
She also wasn’t completely innocent. There were times she’d mention guys trying to talk to her or buying things for her, and I never made an issue out of it.
Of course, she didn’t find anything inappropriate because I’d been honest with her.
Oluchi: I mentioned those things to show him how it felt. The difference is that I never crossed the line. He was talking to too many women.
And I don’t regret suspecting him. Months later, he admitted that he’d cheated on me.
Nonso: By that point, our relationship had already grown tense.
She wanted to control everything about me, from my smoking to how I socialised. I started to feel caged, and our fights became more frequent.
We had a big fight around her NYSC POP. She expected me to show up with flowers and gifts, but I didn’t. Instead, I sent her money to get whatever she wanted. She was furious.
What frustrated me was that she never clearly said what she wanted. She expected me to know, like a psychic. When I didn’t, she overreacted.
During one of those periods when we were barely speaking, I went out with friends and made out with someone else.
It wasn’t planned, and I regretted it. I told her about it almost immediately.
Oluchi: He says guilt made him confess, but the truth is that the girl had already told a mutual friend. He knew I was going to find out. I was devastated when he admitted it. But I still stayed.
That was a big mistake. Months later, I discovered he’d cheated again. This time with his ex.
He didn’t tell me immediately. I only found out during a huge argument when we were already close to breaking up.
Nonso: It was more complicated than that. My ex and I had broken up because of distance. When she came back to visit, old attractions resurfaced. It only happened once. I didn’t tell Oluchi immediately because I knew it would hurt her.
Eventually, we had our biggest argument. She called me a cheater and said she was done. I admitted everything, and she walked out. After that, she blocked me everywhere.
Oluchi: We dated for over a year, and I felt like I was constantly defending the relationship and trying to force him to act like he actually wanted to be with me. When I finally walked away, it was for my peace of mind.
Nonso: I respected her decision when she blocked me. About five months later, she agreed to speak to me again through our mutual friend. By then, she’d already started seeing someone else.
Oluchi: I expected him to put in more effort to win me back, but when he didn’t, I realised I had to move on. I wasn’t going to sit around waiting for him. But we eventually agreed to stay friends.
Nonso: I still think she’s a great person and can be a positive influence. We’re probably better off as friends, but who knows what the future holds?
Oluchi: For me, that chapter is closed. But I wish him well.
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