Sometimes, life puts you in messy situations where you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing or not. That’s what Na Me F— Up? is about — real Nigerians sharing the choices they’ve made, while you decide if they fucked up or not.
Ahmad* (27) started using AI as an intermediary in his relationship, never imagining it would backfire. Nothing prepared him for the fallout when his girlfriend discovered his private conversations.
This is Ahmad’s dilemma, as shared with Mofiyin
On a random Thursday in November, my girlfriend, Adesuwa*, forwarded screenshots from my ChatGPT history about our relationship, followed by angry voice notes accusing me of being callous and deceptive.
A few days earlier, we’d been debating which city is better to live in, and she asked me to use AI to compare them. I handed her my phone without thinking twice because I genuinely had nothing to hide. But as she scrolled, her expression changed. I noticed it, but I brushed it aside and continued what I was doing. I didn’t realise that moment marked the beginning of our problems.
Later, I found out she didn’t just check what we were discussing. She went through my ChatGPT activity and logged into my account on her own device.
The chat history existed because when we started dating in August 2024, I already knew communication wasn’t my strength. I’m naturally introverted, and expressing emotions clearly has always been difficult for me. That weakness affected our relationship almost immediately. She writes long, intense messages when she’s upset. Meanwhile, I work a demanding job that requires hours of uninterrupted focus. By the time I get home, I barely have the emotional energy to absorb her texts. Sometimes, she’d even threaten to break up with me if I didn’t reply fast enough.
About six months into our relationship, she sent one of her longest messages yet. When I clicked “read more” and saw the length, I felt overwhelmed. I copied it into ChatGPT to summarise because I genuinely couldn’t process it in that moment, and it worked.
From then on, I used AI to communicate better. I didn’t use it to manipulate her. I used it to avoid the miscommunication that always led to fights. I never copied responses directly; I paraphrased and tried to sound like my actual self. I also asked for help with improving the relationship. It suggested thoughtful date ideas, gift ideas, and short motivational messages I could send her during the day.
Surprisingly, they worked, and my relationship improved. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, ChatGPT became the space where I vented and organised my thoughts. It helped me respond with more empathy instead of reacting out of frustration.
So when Adesuwa confronted me with screenshots, it felt like someone had read my diary. She saw old entries from before we started dating, including when I asked ChatGPT to help me weigh the pros and cons between her and someone else I was talking to at the time. To me, that was a logical step to make the right decision.
She demanded to know which parts of our relationship were “real.” She said I’d reduced her emotions to prompts and turned her into a project I was managing instead of a person I loved. She shut down every explanation I tried to give.
What hurt me most was when she told me she’d already shown everything to her friends. I couldn’t believe that something deeply private to me — a journal of my secrets — was now the topic in their WhatsApp group chat. I felt betrayed and humiliated.
When I asked her why she logged into my account in the first place, she dismissed the question. She said it shouldn’t matter. But it does. Everyone deserves a private space, and I’ve never violated hers. I’m not the type of boyfriend who checks her chats or monitors her calls.
What upset me even more was when she told me she’d asked her own ChatGPT to analyse my behaviour, and it told her it was unhealthy and that she needed to break up with me. She’d turned it into a battle.
Now she believes every thoughtful thing I’ve ever said came from AI. She refuses to understand that I used it because I was trying to meet her emotional needs, or accept that some people sincerely struggle with communication and need that support.
I understand why she feels like I belittled her emotions, but she also refuses to see things from my side. It pains me that she now thinks I’m fake when all I’ve ever done is try to improve myself for her.
Even though it’s been nearly a month since she found out, we’re yet to reach a middle ground. I still don’t know if what I did was truly wrong, but I know her reaction has made me question where the real line was crossed.
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