The Zikoko Guide To Becoming An Old Nollywood Campus Bad Girl

February 19, 2021

Old Nollywood definitely had its problems. Corny storylines, really bad CGI etc. But one thing they were consistent with is giving us iconic campus queens who were all running things. I love them so much I decided to make a guide on how to be an old Nollywood campus bad girl.

  • Get Your Fashion Game On Point.

Are you really an old Nollywood campus bad girl if you don’t own at least five spaghetti tops and unlimited denim skirts? You don’t own a ‘Rihanna’ wig and you want me to take you seriously? Please, come off it. Where are your oversized glasses?

  • Always hold a cigarette.

Notice that I didn’t say smoke? I said hold. You need it lazily near your lips to give you a certain umph. If you are extra, you can smoke it every now and then to punctuate your sentences but if you really want to show everyone that you are the girl that you think you are, I highly recommend inhaling the cigarette smoke then blowing it up at someone’s face. Do that and you’ve earned like a 1000 bad girl points instantly.

  • You need a ‘chief’ and a ‘baby’.

Now let’s talk about romantic partners. You can’t be single as a campus bad girl, I’m sorry but it doesn’t work like that. You need at least one sugar daddy whose name you yourself don’t know and you must call chief. Is he really a chief or have you forgotten his name and are hoping he buys this act of yours? We will never know! Chief’s job is to provide you with money, wear agbadas and promise you the world. Then you need a ‘baby’. Someone your age, think Emeka Ike or Desmond Elliot. This one is poor, wears baggy stripes shirts and carries a big bag all across the campus. Chances are he’s the best student in the department and helps you with your assignment. Your personal nerd. Look at you, a queen pulling men from different walks of life and even different generations. We what? We stan.

  • ‘You need to use what you have to get what you want?’

You are not entirely sure what this means but as a Nollywood campus bad girl, you must use this line at least once. Perhaps when bringing in a recruit to the bad girl lifestyle, ensure your manicure is done and you have perfect acrylic nails and you can snap your fingers while slowly and emphatically saying ‘you have to use what you have to get what you want.’ 

  • Storyline.

You have two options as a Nollywood campus bad girl when it comes to storyline. Option A: be a new girl on campus, you’ll enter uni clutching your Ghana-must-go, wearing a Mary Amaka skirt that has seen better days while scared of your own shadow. Two weeks later, you’ve bought a denim mini skirt, you’ve dethroned the old queen, you’ve stolen her ‘chief’ and maybe even her ‘baby’ but you still haven’t entered class since the first day that you went to get a time table. Option B: You are the OG bad girl on campus then you tried recruiting a new girl who was clutching her Ghana-must-go, next thing you know they’ve stolen your ‘chief’ and your ‘baby’ and even your apartment and you are just wondering where it all went wrong.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 12, 2019

The Lost Okoroshi, a 94-minutes film, snagged its audience from the first scene, which was reminiscent of childhood nightmares. The lead character, Raymond Obinwa (played by Seun Ajayi) ran from a masquerade, also referred to as ojuju, in his dream; his wife, Nneka Obinwa (Judith Audu) would have none of it, advising him to seek […]

March 26, 2020

2020 has been a supremely shitty year so far, with the Coronavirus basically stopping the world in its tracks. So, in a bid to find some much-needed laughter, we’ve gathered some of the best @yung.nollywood memes that describe how we are all feeling right now. 1. This meme that aged like fried rice: View this […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

More from Pop

Hollywood conference
July 2, 2022

The 12th edition of ZUFF, Nollywood’s major film festival, raised the question of whether the world’s second-largest film market by the number of films can tap the continent’s huge film-making potential and leverage changing economic and technological realities.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X