INEC is collating the 2023 election results, tensions are high, and I can bet my last ₦500 that — even though you’ve had to resume work — it’s probably not the first thing on your mind today. Don’t let these colleagues add to what’s already doing you.

The bad news amplifiers

It’s like these ones just turned on post notifications for the most horrible news. Yes, we know everything is going to shit, but please, #ProtectYourMentalHealth.

Team “Why do you care so much?”

If you check it very well, they’re probably already processing their japa papers, so they don’t care what happens. Lucky for you, Angela, but this is my own future. 

The overly serious ones

Anyone who’s 100% focused on work today obviously isn’t normal. I said what I said.

The suspiciously happy ones

They might be supporters of a certain overall-best-in-rigging party. You don’t need anyone to tell you they don’t mean you well.

The low-budget INEC officers

They have all the figures from every polling unit in the country. On the bright side, you can always go to them for the latest, but if they’re on your work team, sorry for you because you’ll have to do their work in addition to your own.

The tribal advocates

Avoiding this set of people is just common sense unless you want to get tempted to slap someone’s child and embrace unemployment.

Your boss

Today should’ve been a public holiday. No one should have to answer to capitalism when we’re trying not to die from anxiety.

NEXT READ: How to Keep Going as We Wait for the Election Results