The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
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How long have you been with your partner?
Eight months. We started dating at the end of 2024.
How did you meet?
I met Farouk at a mutual friend’s family function. I thought he was handsome, so I shot my shot.
You made the first move?
Yes. My friends say I’m weird, but I’ve always spoken to guys I like first. I just went up to Farouk and complimented his smile. He thanked me and we talked for a bit. We exchanged numbers and mostly just did the talking stage for the first few weeks.
When I noticed he wasn’t moving things along, I asked him, “Do you want to date me or not? I don’t have time.” He laughed and said, “I thought we were already dating?” I insisted he had to ask me officially, so he took me out to a restaurant and got the kitchen to write “Will you be my girlfriend?” on my dessert plate. That’s how we started dating.
I initially worried that Farouk was indecisive, seeing as I had to push him to make things official, but it’s been almost a year, and I haven’t noticed him dragging out decisions or actions. He’s actually a go-getter, and that’s one of the things I love about him. I also don’t mind that he’s rich and stupidly handsome.
What does he do for money?
He’s a director in his dad’s company. His family is old money, so he’s not really hands-on with the business. But he has other interests that bring him money; mostly real estate and automobiles. I’m not sure exactly how much he earns, but I know there’s money. He’s constantly taking me out on dates and getting me cute stuff.
What’s the most expensive gift he’s given you?
For my birthday a few months ago, he got me a designer bag, bracelets, and two pairs of shoes. He must have spent a couple of thousand dollars on that. He also gets me gold jewellery often. He knows I’m obsessed with gold.
A finished man. Do you also get him gifts?
Yes, but definitely not as often as he does. I’m a poor 9-5er, please. My gifts to him are mostly perfumes because he’s not much of a perfume person. So, whether it’s an ₦18k perfume or ₦25k, he doesn’t really know the difference. Or maybe he just pretends not to know to make me feel better. I can’t get him things like shoes or watches because I see what he wears, and my power hasn’t reached that level.
I’m screaming. What kind of money conversations do you both have?
Sometimes, I caution Farouk about his spending, but he just looks at me like I’m making a big deal out of nothing. Once, we went to the club, and the bill was around ₦700k. I thought it was too much, but Farouk was like, “Calm down.” I think the thing is, I underestimate how much money he has, so I just try to look away when he spends.
He also sends me money randomly; ₦50k today, ₦100k next week. He doesn’t send me money every week, though. Sometimes twice or thrice a month. I don’t ask. He just does that.
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How do you handle budgeting for dates and other romance stuff?
We go on dates almost every week, and Farouk pays for them. Our dates are typically at restaurants; there is nothing else to try. We don’t hang out at each other’s houses because I live with friends, while Farouk lives with his family. His parents are very conservative. Bringing a girl home is one sin. Bringing one they don’t like is another greater sin.
Wait. They don’t like you?
Well, not me personally. Farouk already told me they’d never accept someone who isn’t a northener, and they have a personal dislike for people from my place. So, the disapproval is already set in place like a stone. I don’t even think he’s allowed to date. An arranged marriage is probably in his future.
That’s not a problem for me, though. I’m not deceiving myself with any marriage imaginations or dreams of a future with him, so that’s fine. I don’t think dating has to lead to marriage. We love each other, and if it ends one day — which it likely will — I’ll be glad I enjoyed my time with him.
That’s interesting. Do you have a financial safety net?
I save 10% of my salary monthly, but even I know that’s not a serious number. I plan to increase my savings as I earn more. I currently have ₦180k in my savings. On the bright side, if I’m ever in urgent need, I can sell any of the gold jewellery Farouk has gifted me.
I know you aren’t exactly expecting a future with Farouk. But say you were. What would your ideal financial future be?
I want to be one of those rich alhaji wives who post “Get Ready With Me” content on social media and just sit pretty while my husband brings money from wherever he’s finding it.
Okay, let me be serious. If we’re thinking in future terms, I’d love us to have joint investments and own property around the world.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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