So you just got home after going on a first date with a Nigerian woman. To you, it felt like everything went well. So you expect a second date to happen at some point but it never does. What did you do wrong?

I’m not here to answer that question. I’m here to tell you about the signs that’ll let you know, during and after the first date, if you’ll get a second date or not.

1) If she’s on her phone the whole time.

Chances are she’s looking through Twitter for gist or scrolling through Tinder continuing the search for Mr. Right.

2) If she doesn’t mention a second date or doesn’t respond when you do.

If a girl is feeling the boy (I wonder if we have to pay Ice Prince for using that), she’ll most likely mention a second date or respond enthusiastically if you do. If you mention it and all she does is smile uncomfortably, laugh super hard, or quickly change the subject, pack it up and go home.

3) If she’s consuming insane amounts of alcohol.

Even though it is normal for people to have alcohol while on dates, it’s a problem when one party is downing every alcoholic beverage in sight. Chances are that she’s bored and trying to spice things up for herself or she has a drinking problem. These are both terrible things.

4) If she suddenly has an “emergency”.

On shitty first dates, a lot of women send a (pre-determined) signal to their friends to save them from the date by calling and faking an emergency. So if you ever been on a date with a woman who suddenly had to leave because her 6-month old nephew slit someone’s throat with a samurai sword and was arrested, I’m so sorry.

5) If she stands up to take a call or go to the bathroom and never returns.

She was most likely talking to the driver of the Uber she quietly requested on the app when you weren’t paying attention. Either that or she did go to the bathroom and escaped through a window.

6) If she declines your offer to give her a ride home.

Take the hint.

7) If she does let you give her a ride but hurries out of the car and slams the door before you can say anything.

TAKE THE HINT.

8) If you try to call or message her after the date and find out that you’ve been blocked.

Pretty clear message right there.

8) If you ask her for a second date and she just says no.

Honesty is the best policy.

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