5 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Older People

February 5, 2021

For most men, dating people who are younger than them age is the only way to go. However, its 2021 and the script is being flipped and more men are willing to explore dating older people. So we asked four men who exclusively date older people about their experiences.

Fidel, Gay.

I was sexually active at a very young age and again I had this fetish for hairy people which turns out to be only on older guys. So eventually that became my thing. The ones I’ve been with, there’s this certainty that comes with dating someone older. They don’t feel the need to be shady because they feel they might have something to lose, and they have financial stability as well.

The worst part of dating older queer men in Nigeria is that their ‘ageism’ jumps out every now and then. The age gap breeds a conflict of ideas, And a lot of times what you have with them isn’t long term because sooner than later they have to start their family as society dictates, and I have no future with a married man.

Tunde, Straight.

I don’t deliberately seek to date older women. It just happens really. We get talking, and boom, we find out about the age difference. I’ve dated a younger lady once. Man, I couldn’t keep up. I had to think for two. I’d advise people to date whoever they love, and find comfort in. Age is secondary. Seek stability, warmth and respect. Amongst other things for sure.

I guess because I’m most times the youngest in a group.
The best part of dating older women is that cues are easily taken, vibrations are higher and the worst part is that it can be too intense sometimes.

Adam, Gay.

I think the best part is that they’ve lived and been around for a while so there’s this mature way of handling things and judging from my partner, they can be understanding. There’s a lot an older man can take or deal with when they’re in love with you because they’re at that age where they know what they want and they tend to listen and try to understand you and even guide you. Whereas someone younger wouldn’t have the patience to deal with it or try to understand cause they deem it as “stress”. The worst part should be them being stuck up in their ways or certain lifestyles and not willing to compromise when you complain because of them? They’re old and have lived so they assume they know better and sometimes they forget they’re with someone younger and just always expect you to be on the same wavelength with them mentally.

Sometimes I miss being with younger people, especially when I think about sex. Sex with my partner is great but I don’t think it can be compared to sleeping with someone younger, young energies are great you know.

Malcolm, Straight.

Older women have less stress. If they want to date you, they’ll tell you. If they don’t, they’ll tell you. No time for uncertainty or all that stuff. I appreciate that. Plus they tend to be making more money and who no like better thing? I realized I preferred older women in my very early twenties. I tried dating people my age or young as per I am a man and stuff. It didn’t work. Older women are my jam. Better in bed, more money etc. Just don’t get them angry, they’ll run you out of town and won’t shake at all.

Chidi, Straight

It might be because I was groomed or it might just be a preference but young women don’t do it for me. I find them too young to have anything more than friendship. I don’t feel any attraction towards them. But older women? Come here mami!
The best part is they are sexually bolder, at least the ones I date. They are in a better place mentally and financially and everything just set. I can’t think of a bad thing. Some feel insecure about not being as young and as pretty as they were but I try to make them see themselves through my eyes.


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