Don’t do it

The risks are just too many. They might shade you, air you or even post your DMs for a few likes and retweets. Just save yourself the stress and focus on real life. But if you must do it by-fire-by-force, continue reading.

Do your research

Do your research so you know what you’re getting into. Don’t just slide into their DMs or make a confession based on how you feel? It’s the fastest way to shed hot tears. Are they loud on the internet? Do they have a circle? Do they get dragged every Thursday? Do they normally move mad? These are the important questions.

Check their “media” section

This one has to be separate so you get the point. Check their media to know if they’re boo’ed up or not. You don’t want to be confessing your feelings to somebody’s partner. Unless you’re sure you can trigger their release clause sha, then carry on.

Don’t be a creep

This one should be pretty self-explanatory, but if they don’t like you or want to talk to you, move on. You won’t die, I promise.

Do it from a burner account

So that when your shot shooting starts to look embarrassing, you can always disappear into thin air. It would look like you never existed.

If it goes well, come back and tell us

You can’t bag your Twitter crush and not come back a year later to do, “How it started vs How it’s going”. There are rules to these things.

Pray to God

Whether or not you follow all these rules, there’s a chance your shots will fail dramatically. As they say on the streets, “Ticket wey go cut, go cut”. Just pray the universe aligns with the shots you’re shooting, or else, you’ll see shege.

QUIZ: Take This Quiz and We’ll Tell You How to Get Your Twitter Crush’s Attention