What Happens When Your Loved One Japas?

July 17, 2022

Many Nigerians have decided it’s better to be patriotic from abroad than to stick around for things to get better, and can we blame them? The country is after our lives. 

While you’re happy about your loved ones’ japaing, it’s also valid to feel sad, upset, frustrated, jealous even. Don’t take my word for it; here’s what these Nigerians had to say about being left behind. 

“I don’t know how many more goodbyes I have in me” — Bola

My really close friend travelled a while back, and I was devastated, to say the least. I’d been aware of the whole process, but when it hit was when he got his visa. I was overjoyed — I’m not a witch — but I was also very sad because it could be the end of our friendship. I’ve started to think seriously about relocating because everyone around me seems either ready to leave or in the process, and I don’t know how many more goodbyes I have in me. 

“We weren’t close, so it didn’t make a difference” — Esther

It was pretty much a relief for me. My sister getting her visa meant she could join her husband who left a year before. Asides from that, we hadn’t been close for a long time, so her relocation didn’t make a difference to me. 

“I was heartbroken for the first couple of months” — Emma

Both my siblings are out of the country, so I’m experienced in this subject matter. However, the reactions were a little different for both of them — my elder sister left when I was younger and in boarding school, so even though I was sad, I didn’t feel it so much.

But because my younger sister and I really bonded over COVID, I was heartbroken for the first couple of months after she left. It’s been a year now, and even though I still miss her, I think the distance has helped us grow. My elder sister and I are even closer now. 

“We don’t have enough memories” — Flo

Having people you care about leave just makes you sad. It makes you question yourself like “What are you doing with your life? When will you be ready for this big change too? Is relocating even something you want?” 

When you get past that part, you realise you haven’t made enough memories with the person, and that’s the sad part because you can’t even say what will happen after they leave, you can only hope they don’t forget you in the end.

“I didn’t expect to feel as sad” — Bankole

A friend of mine who also happens to be my coworker told me he was leaving in a month, and I was sad. I didn’t expect to feel as sad as I did because we had a misunderstanding some months ago that put a dent in our friendship. But with him leaving, the fight seems so trivial now, and stupid. 

“I’ll miss her, but I’m looking at the bigger picture” — Temi

My cousin leaving for the UK is one of the best things to happen with the country falling apart. Yes, I’ll miss her, but I’m looking at the bigger picture — her being there is all the motivation I need to be serious with my plans in the coming year.

“It’s like I’ve missed out on friendships that would’ve been” — Adebo 

Over the years, I’ve had my sister and at least three close friends relocate. I’m so happy for them, I switch between asking them to come visit and advising them against stepping foot in Nigeria. But nothing takes away the feeling that I’ve missed out on friendships and relationships that would’ve been. It’s even worse when they move to places with different time zones from mine. My best friend is going to leave soon. Just thinking about it makes me shed tears because he’s my last close friend around.

CHECK NOW: Forget About Japaing if You Do Less Than 14/20 of These Things 

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