The Complete Guide to Dropping A Hit Nigerian Song

March 17, 2016

1. All Nigerian songs sound the same, so tell people who you are.

Wizkid has “Yaga!”; Olamide has “Badoo”; and D’banj has “I’m D’Banj”.

one

Start all your songs with it.

2. Next has to be “Sarz on the beat” or “It’s Young Jon the Wicked Producer” or “It’s Don Jazzy again” or “Shizzzzzzyyyyy”.

Because when Nigerians hear one of these, they automatically start paying attention.

3. Find a really catchy, er, catchphrase.

It doesn’t really need to make sense in any language, in fact, it is preferable if it doesn’t.

 1

Who the hell knows what Shakitibobo means? Or Shekininini or Burukutu or Koko or Saramara or Sekem?

4. Make sure your lyrics repeat themselves ad nauseum.

 2

Like “Oya clap for Dyna, osanna…clap for Dyna, osanna.”

 3

Or “Personally. Persona-personally.”

 5

Or “Do me, do me, do me, do me, do me, do me, do me, do me.”

4

 Or “Caro he ba (x 82)”. Yeah we counted.

 6

5. Don’t forget to add butts.

 

Take lessons from Timaya on Ukwu and the aptly titled, Bumbum.

6. Be sure to call out your haters.

If you don’t have, make them up. Listen to how M.I did it on Beef, Olamide on Shakitibobo and Timaya on EVERY song, ever.

 

I mean, it’s your first song, you probably don’t have haters yet, but no one knows that.

7. And never forget to respect your niggas.

Fuji musicians invented it. Yinka Ayefele perfected it. Then Wizkid disrupted it.

 

Remember Fashola eleniyan, Tinubu eleniyan. You don’t have to know them personally. Just plug them in.

8. Make sure Clarence Peters shoots your video.

Or Sesan. Or Jude Engees. Or Mex.

 j

No one wants to be squinting to see what’s happening in your video.

9. Then get DJ Jimmy Jatt to bless it.

Or DJ Zeez. Or DJ Exclusive.

 meh

No obscure DJs please. Pay through your nose if you have to.

10. Then proceed to promote the hell out of it.

Get Olisa or Toolz Or Osi to plug it on radio.You have to earn this one.

Get Omojuwa to tweet it.

Onye Nkuzi, Patrick Obahiagbon or even Ben Murray Bruce may even have a thing or two to say about it.

**If Onye Nkuzi calls it ‘philistinism’, you have made it.

If Don Jazzy made your beat, get him to promote it to his fans on Instagram via spoof videos. Nigerians love that.

Upload the track to NotJustOk. You can also try Jaguda and TooExclusive.

Capture

Make sure one or all of the telcos turn it into a ring back tune. Give them all the revenue if you have to.

caller

11. Now, you need your haters to respond.

And it’s not a good song if you cannot get Vic O to respond with a diss track.

IMG_6089

I’m sure he can diss for hire, no lele.

12. Finally…thank the fans [Feature an American musician – no matter how unknown. If possible].

When you have finally blown — after all of this, it is impossible that you haven’t — take time out to thank your fans.

 fans mi

Wizkid did this; then Davido DID it.

13. Welcome to the club of multi-millionaires.

Like Don Jazzy would say.

Enjoy yourself because as Skales would say, “My only competition na Dangote”

Did we skip some steps? Let us know!

Don’t forget, sharing is caring.

Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

leaving their ex
June 18, 2021

Sometimes we get overwhelmed and make decisions we later regret. In this article, seven Nigerian women talk about why they regret leaving their ex.  Tomisin, 25 My ex used to send me not less than 50k every month.  He moved abroad and after two months, he told me he has fallen in love with someone […]

June 18, 2021

People love us for various reasons. Take this quiz and we’ll tell you what your friends love most about you. Relationships can be hard, and sometimes you just need someone to give you a bit of advice. Ask Ozzy is our new advice column where you send Zikoko the relationship questions that have been bugging […]

June 17, 2021

While smart investing is a sure way to build and retain wealth, it can be a daunting prospect for beginners. In the same vein, it is a lot easier when you understand the various options in which you can invest and ultimately grow your wealth. Here are some options you can consider when taking the […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X