12 Things Nigerian Girls Say And What They Really Mean

January 14, 2016
According to the gospel of Nigerian Twitter:

1. “Hey, big head”

Translation: I miss you.

2. “I’ve never done this before…”

Translation: I’ve never done this before…with you.

3. “I don’t usually do this”

Translation: Please don’t judge me.

4. “My bodycount is 3”

Translation: My bodycount is none of your business, but since you asked, here’s a lie.

5. “Do whatever you want to do”

Translation: Do what I want to do! How dare you think you have a say?

6. “Nothing is wrong”

Translation: EVERYTHING IS WRONG! She has probably heard something or seen something. You are not safe. At this point, nothing that you do is right. Not even breathing.

7. “I’ll soon be ready”

Translation: Have your bath, eat, watch all the seasons of Smallville and go to the moon; Then, I will be ready.

8. “I’m fine”

Translation: Sit down and comfort me, you clueless male person.

9. “#NoMakeup”

Tranlation: I spent two hours on my make up to look like I didn’t use any make up.

10. “I don’t want to eat”

Translation: Buy your own and then I will proceed to eat it all.

11. “Say it. I won’t be angry.”

Translation: Oya let me hear you criticize me. You think you’ve seen me angry? Watch as you unlock another level with your gullibility.

12. “I’m not trying to be rude”

Translation: She’s about to say some downright disrespectful things. Just start apologizing.

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