1. When you want to fly from Lagos to Abuja and you see the price.
Let me kuku walk.
2. When you get a text that your 7am flight is now at 1pm.
3. When you show up two hours before your flight, but they tell you that check in is closed.
Is it the whole Nigeria that’s entering the flight?
4. When you have been waiting forever for your flight to be called.
1pm flight has not left and it’s already 3pm.
5. After waiting for hours, then they tell you your flight is moved or cancelled.
So you know you have to come back tomorrow and wait again.
6. When they cancel your flight, but your refund has not reached you.
Let me use the money to be great.
7. When the captain casually informs you that your plane is on the fuel queue – with you inside it.
“But it’s not the airline’s fault though.”
8. When the captain is trying to enforce regulations while keeping everyone waiting, but the passengers are not having it.
Oya come and beat us now.
9. When your plane makes an unnanounced stop.
Is this not kidnapping like this?
10. When the plane is shaking from take off till you arrive at your destination.
Blood of Jesus!
11. When they finally announce that it’s food time.
Bring this food abeg.
12. But they serve you day old snacks, and drinks that taste like kolanut and sadness.
God will fight for me.
13. When the person beside you decides to use your shoulder as a pillow.
Is this one insane?
14. When you’re trying to sleep and your fellow passengers decide to have a plane-wide conversation.
What the hell man?!
15. When you’re trying to ask the flight attendants for help, but they’re basically Nigerian customer service agents, so they ignore you.
Bad customer service in the air too? Fix your lives.
16. When someone near your brings their own food on board and the whole plane starts smelling like egusi.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
17. When the captain announces that there will be turbulence.
*Googles: How To Accept Jesus Christ As Your Lord And Savior*
18. When you get down from the plane and you realize some people actually paid for first class on that flight.
Congratulations, you played yourselves.
19. And when you get to the counter in Abuja but your luggage is somehow on its way to Sokoto.
And you’ll probably get it 3 days after you’re back in Lagos.