16 Signs Your Friend Is Really An Enemy Of Progress

April 14, 2016

1. When you ask them to take a good picture of you and they take one that makes you look like melted amala.

Wawu!

2. And when they want to post a picture of you, they put the one where you look absolutely disgusting.

Who sent you?

3. When something good happens to you and instead of “congratulations”, you hear “you were lucky that..”

Hate..hate..hate…HATER!

4. When you’re around your crush of life and they start reminding you of every bad thing that has happened to you.

“Remember that time you fell inside the gutter?”

5. When they know your bae is cheating on you but they allow you act the fool and be forming love on social media.

God will remove you from my life.

6. When they go on Twitter and divulge all your business in the name of ‘bants’.

You are *clap..clap* CUT OFF!

7. When they publicly share screenshots of your chat in your private Whatsapp group.

Gbeborun!

8. When you tell them to lie to your bae for you and they ‘forget’.

He still won’t date you sha.

9. When they tell you someone is not good for you, and the next thing they’re engaged to him.

Wait what?

10. When you ask them if an outfit looks good on you and they say yes, but you out here looking like Dencia at the Grammys.

It’s like you’re mad.

11. When you use them to lie to your parents when you go out. And then your parents call them and they say “Ah, Seyi is not here ma!”

They better adopt your snitching ass.

12. When you look hot in an outifit and they say you should change because they don’t want you to look hotter than them.

Smh!

13. When you tell them a secret, and the next thing it’s on the internet.

Please exit my life.

14. When every compliment from them is a veiled insult.

“It’s so great, the way you don’t care about the way you look when you leave the house.” Thank you. Please, come and be going.

15. When you buy something, and they buy the exact same thing the next day so that you don’t have anything nicer than them.

Wo! It’s not a competition now?

16. When you start talking about your problems and they find a way to make it about them.

Are you the sun? Because the earth must revolve around you.
Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 19, 2021

When it comes to period products, there are a lot of things that need to change. A lot. So, we made a list with the help of the people of Twitter 1) Price They are too expensive. Period products should be free, because nobody chose to have their period. These products are essential, and nobody […]

January 19, 2021

The idea of lifelong friendships sounds nice, but it doesn’t always happen. Friends fall out or drift apart all the time for myriads of reasons. For some people, it happens because their friend got married and decided that they didn’t want to be friends anymore. This is a lot more common than you’d think, so […]

January 19, 2021

Admit it. You’ve always wanted to know which of the OG Nollywood campus babes you are. Now you can, just take this quiz and find out which of these bad bitches you are on the inside. For more like this, check out Zikoko Memes

Recommended Quizzes

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

More from Oldies

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

February 8, 2020

Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X