Due to all the lies we were sold by our Nigerian parents, a lot of us grew up with serious trust issues. Here are 15 of the worst ones that shaped the way we behave today.
1. Hearing “Beans will make you tall,” but you’re still the size of bedside fridge.
Chai! All that beans I ate.
2. When your father told you to go and wear your shoes, but then drove off.
The pain is still fresh.
3. When you asked your parents for a Game Boy and they got you:
ARE THEY THE SAME?
4. The Barney and Father Christmas your school brought for the end-of-the-year party:
Who are these ones?
5. When you finally came first and reminded your father that he promised to buy you something.
Ah! Is it like that?
6. When you ask your mother for all the money she has been “helping” you save.
“Have you not been eating in my house?”
7. When your mother told you that your agemates will be at the Owambe, but you only see adults.
8. You, the first time you saw someone put stew on their jollof rice:
What is doing you?
9. Whenever you opened that icecream container you saw in the freezer.
10. When your mother that beat you for lying told you to lie that she is not around.
Oh? It’s like that?
11. Whenever you opened the Danish cookies container in your mother’s room.
12. When that shirt your mother swore you’d “grow into” is still not your size 10 years later.
See why I don’t trust people.
13. When your father just zooms past Mr. Biggs on the way from church.
If we don’t eat meatpie on Sunday, when will we ehn?
14. When your mother that said “let’s be going” an hour ago is still gisting.
Can we go oh?
15. When your mother that said “tell the truth, I won’t beat you” says “go and bring the cane.”
Na me mess up sha.