A little over a week ago, we asked a few Nigerians to share their first sexual experience with us. We got a bunch of varied and relatable stories, but there was one story, in particular, that was so insane, we felt it needed a whole article to itself.
So, unlike a regular Sex Life story that would have spanned multiple sexual experiences across the subject’s life, this will focus on a core encounter. For this subject, a 29-year-old heterosexual, it was how losing his virginity almost put him off sex entirely.
How did you hope your first time would turn out?
I never really thought about having sex until it happened. I mean, when I was in university that’s what all the boys would talk about. We’d just sit around and lie about our great CGPAs and all the sex we were having.
There were times I was presented with the opportunity, but honestly, I was scared. I liked getting head and touching breasts, but the vagina truly terrified me. The thought of it freaked me out so much that I actually broke up with my girlfriend for suggesting sex.
Yup. The crazy thing is sex wasn’t even a foreign concept to me. My parents were very liberal — borderline inappropriate to be honest. They talked about sex a lot. Also, I watched porn like everyone. When I was 11, I found my dad’s collection and watch it with my brother and cousins.
Then why were you so scared of vaginas?
I think what made me scared was seeing one in person. I was 16 and a friend took me out. I had been drinking before that day, but I decided to try Gulder for the first time. It was truly disgusting. After that, he took me to a brothel, and that’s where things went left.
He told a babe to take me up. She laid on her back and spread her legs, and as soon as I saw her vagina, the Gulder took over and I vomited all over her. We did not have sex for obvious reasons, but I saw my first vagina in person and it wasn’t pretty.
So, when did you end up having sex?
It finally happened when I was 20. I had just graduated from university and was waiting to go for NYSC. I was staying with my aunty in Lagos at the time, and I had just started dating this girl I met at my graduation party.
She’d come around and we’d make out. We basically did everything except penetrative sex. Then one day, we were talking on the phone and she brought it up. I immediately started throwing excuses her way, but she shot them all down. She said it was happening the next day.
Ah. So, what did you do?
I just accepted it. I asked her if I should get condoms, but she said we should go raw since it was her first time. She told me to just get Postinor 2. I asked her what it was, and she said that’s what her older friends who were having sex used.
I tried to make her get it herself, but she insisted that I do it. Anyway, I went to the pharmacy and asked for Postinor. The pharmacists asked me if it was Postinor 10 or Postinor 2. I was so confused that I just ran home. In my head, that was a good excuse to not do it anymore.
How did she take that?
She wasn’t having it. She told me to go back and get it. I bought it the next morning and read the leaflet as if my life depended on it. At that time, the only thing that scared me more than a vagina was getting a girl pregnant
I saw that it wasn’t 100% certain that the drug would work, and I became incredibly nervous. I couldn’t even call any of my friends for emotional support because I’d already lied about having sex a million times.
Lmao. What happened next?
She finally came and seeing her made me a lot less nervous. We went straight for it. We made out for a good minute and our clothes fell off. I tried not to look at her vagina for obvious reasons, but that made finding the entrance a real task.
I didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like, so a couple of times when I thought I was in, she’d tell me I wasn’t. I finally found my way in, and it was weird. I mean it was good, but it felt so fucking weird and warm.
Sounds like it went well.
Well, it seemed like that for a minute. Then she suddenly opened her eyes, grabbed me and said, “This is me giving you everything. If you leave me, I’ll kill you.” I freaked out, stopped and asked her what the hell that was.
She apologised and tried to get me to continue. I had already mentally checked out. Then she asked me if I loved her. I would have probably said yes if she had asked a few minutes earlier, but I was still too weirded out by the whole experience.
Damn. What did she do?
She started screaming about how we’d just had sex. She then accused me of turning her into a whore. We eventually both got dressed and started heading out. When we got to the door, she swung around without warning, pulled my pants off and started giving me head.
I was confused, but it felt nice. Then she stopped all of a sudden, stood up and stormed out. Later that evening, she sent me a picture of her wrist with a bandaid on it, telling me that she’d slit it because of me. The whole thing was just a lot.
Holy shit. How did you deal?
It made me even wearier about having sex. I mean, we broke up, got back together a couple of weeks later and tried to have sex again. Somehow, the second time around was even worse than the first time.
Wait. You actually went back? Come on, man.
Don’t judge me.
Lmao. When did you have sex after that?
It took me months to get over the experience. Thankfully, I met someone during NYSC who just got me. She was also just discovering sex, so we learnt together. It was very needed after the string of terrible experiences.