If You Think Lagos Is Small, Ask Lagosians

November 14, 2018

In theory, Lagos is the smallest state in Nigeria. But for Lagosians who sit in traffic everyday, it feels nothing like that.

With the way Lagos traffic is set up on some days, it can take you two hours to get from V.I to V.I. So just imagine how hard life must be for people who live in Alagbado and work in Lekki. To those people we say the Lord is your strength and we understand the struggle.

When you give someone your address and they’ve never heard of your area.

They’ll now start asking you if you are sure you live in Lagos.

You are always early for everything.

If you have an appointment for 2 you’ll leave your house at 9 am so that Lagos doesn’t surprise you. That’s the day there won’t be traffic and you’ll get to where you are going at 10am.

But if you are not early you are super late.

Even when you leave your house three hours before your appointment.

When you mistakenly leave your house at 5:05 am instead of 5 am so you end up dying in traffic.

If you haven’t left at 5:30 don’t even bother just stay in your house till 10.

You only leave your house if it is absolutely necessary.

If someone is not giving birth or dying you are not going anywhere. All those invitations to your coworker’s son’s birthday go straight in the trash.

This is how everyone reacts when you tell them where you live.

As if Lakowe is that far from town.

You don’t even bother throwing any parties in your house.

Because you know it’s only your neighbors that will come

You can’t just wake up and decide to go and visit a friend you must have planned at least one week ahead.

Except you don’t plan to come back to your house that day.

This is you when your boss should ask you why you look tired at work.

Maybe because I have to wake up at 3 am to get here at 9 sir.

This is you when you wake up on a work day and remember you are going to spend half of that day on the road.

Then someone will still want to invite you for wedding on Saturday that you want to sleep.

When you meet a new friend who also lives in your area.

New BFF in a bit.

You’ve reached level 3000 on Candy Crush because of how much time you spend on your phone during your commute.

It’s not as if you are jobless.

When you calculate how much you spend on petrol for your car in a month.

How much are they even paying you at the job you are using the petrol to go to.

You don’t even bother travelling for the holidays

The travelling you do to work every day is enough for the year.

When you forget something at home and someone says just go back and get it now.

Go back to where?! Do you know where I’m coming from?

If you live in Mowe, we’re not talking about you. That one is another country. Thanks and God bless.

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