In Conversation With Ayinke House: “Una Too Dey Born Pikin”

June 26, 2020

“At least half of Lagos was born in Ayinke House” is a very common statement to hear from time to time.

A worrying number of Lagosians seem to share this sentiment, so, the Zikoko team decided to get to the bottom of this. We spoke to Ayinke House in a bid to better understand this trend and why this sentiment is prevalent.

Zikoko: Well, hello there. Glad to have you.

Ayinke House: We bless the Lord, my child. It feels good to be here. Do you remember me from when you were born?

Zikoko:

Ayinke House: It’s fine my child, let’s start the interview.

What would you say is your biggest pet peeve?

It’s disrespect. I know we’re all woke these days, but I can’t take the disrespect from the kids. I was literally there when they were born and they keep calling me by first name. Me, Ayinkus baby? Ayinny baby? Me, Omo ologo of Lagos.

It’s sad.

I’m sorry. How would you like to be addressed?

Either call me Supreme maternity Yinkus or General Ayinkus. Anything in between is an insult because I’m not your mate.

Okay, General Ayinkus.

That’s right.

What has been your biggest challenge, General Ayinkus?

It’s amnesia. Nigerians forget too quickly and they no longer remember their heroes. Look at the government that recently cut the health care budget. How do they expect me to survive? I’ve health workers who depend on me. Is it fair?

It’s not.

It’s not oh my child. But in vibes we trust.

Is there anything that at least gives you hope?

It’s two-faced for me: On one hand, I’m happy that some of the kids I helped give birth to are escaping to Canada the way cockroaches escape when you turn on the kitchen light. But, on the other hand it also makes me sad.

In the 90’s, it used to be a thing of pride to be born here. However, these days na condition. Even the children born here don’t look happy to be here. It’s like they can sense the despair in the air.

I’m sorry. How does this make you feel?

Stuck. For obvious reasons, I can’t just get up and leave. So, I’m stuck between looking back at the past I’m coming from and towards the future that could have been.

Damn. That’s heavy.

Mabinu.

Before we go, is there anything you want to tell Nigerians?

Yes. For people who are conservative about sex, una too dey born pikin. Either warn yourselves or accept sex with your chest so there can be proper awareness. What kind of Nigerian politician behaviour are you people exhibiting?

Zikoko: ……

I said what I said. Quote me anywhere.

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