7 Nigerians Share Their Worst Friendship Breakup Stories

April 23, 2020

Some of you might not agree, but I think a friendship breakup is a little more painful than a romantic one. Most people already know what to do when a romantic relationship ends, but the demise of a true friendship is so much tougher to navigate.

So, I decided to ask a few Nigerians to share their most painful friendship breakup stories. From built-up resentment to the sting of mistrust, these people all lost friendships that lasted years, and they can all agree on one thing: it hurt like hell.

Ify, 26/Female/7 years of friendship

I met her during NYSC and we became fast friends. I travelled across states to be her bridesmaid, and when I relocated to Lagos to start my new job, she and her husband housed me for a month until I got my own apartment. We were that close. 

Since I was new to Lagos, I spent most of my weekends with her and her baby. I tried to help out as much as I could. I was cordial with her husband, but we only ever spoke when I visited. So, it was a surprise when I learnt she was uncomfortable with us talking.

Things got worse when I went to greet them after church service one Sunday. She was gisting with some friends, and I was making small talk with her husband while carrying the baby. She sent me a strongly-worded text after, warning me to respect boundaries.

I was really hurt and embarrassed, but I didn’t argue. I simply stopped visiting them. She tried to chat with me a few times after, but it was never the same. She never even apologised. I actually miss her despite everything, but I have and will continue to stay away.

James, 21/Male/2 years of friendship

We’d been like brothers for about 2 years, but then we had a terrible argument. Come to think of it, the fight wasn’t even that big a deal, but then he refused to apologise. I knew if I were in his position, I would have said sorry without hesitating. 

The fact that he didn’t made me feel like I was the only one who valued the friendship. Then I started to hear that he was saying shit about me. We stayed in the same compound off campus, so we basically knew the exact same people.

I knew it was over when a mutual friend told me I should reach out because he was struggling with addiction. I texted him and he was still acting like a dick. I didn’t even want to be friends again, I just wanted to be sure he was okay. I still wonder how things would have gone if he just said sorry.

Tolani, 28/Female/14 years of friendship

We were a trio of friends and one of us was going through a particularly rough patch — struggling with her career and her relationship with God. To be fair, we were all struggling at the time, but I figured we’d be able to get through it together.

We talked about everything, helping each other accept our imperfections and strive to be better. I still don’t know why, but I guess life just hit her way too hard. She decided to take it out on us, and she slowly became very distant.

I knew it was over when she sent a message to our group chat saying she wanted to start afresh and she was cutting off everyone, including us. So she unfollowed us on every platform, changed her number and disappeared. It still hurts when I think about it.

Dapo, 27/Male/4 years of friendship

We became friends through social media. We both loved eating out, so we’d go to different restaurants every other weekend. We got pretty close after that, bonding over other things like our work struggles and our perpetual singledom.

Then all of a sudden, he became distant and would take days to respond whenever I hit him up. I asked what was wrong, and he said it was all in my head. I actually thought I was imagining it until two other mutual friends said he was doing the same thing to them. 

I knew our friendship was officially over when my 27th birthday rolled around and he didn’t acknowledge it at all. For some context, he literally helped me plan my 26th birthday party. I’m definitely still pained and confused, but I’ve finally let it go. 

Simi, 28/Female/18 years of friendship

We’d known each other since I was 10, but our friendship started to officially unravel during a period of sexual confusion for her. A babe I’d introduced her to, convinced her she was a lesbian and that I was in love with both of them. I wasn’t.

I knew it was over when I started falling into another bout of depression and she chose to chase the other babe, instead of being there for me when I really needed a friend. So, I packed up my things and left that friendship, literally and figuratively.

Timi, 29/Male/16 years of friendship

We lived right next door to each other, so we’d been best friend since childhood. We were so close, in fact, that the native name I bear today was given to me by his mother. We were basically brothers for the first 16 years of my life.

To be honest, I always knew he was a bit crafty and would do anything for money and power, but I never held that against him. Well, not until we were in uni — different schools — and he got close to a mutual friend whose parents were quite wealthy.

He side-lined everyone else and became an asshole. A few of our friends reached out to me to come talk some sense into him. When I came, he refused to acknowledge the mutual friend I came with and it almost escalated into a fistfight. That’s when I knew we were done.

He apologised a few years later, but the damage was already done. Our parents still live next to each other, and I still visit his mother whenever I go home, but I have no idea what’s going on in his life and, quite frankly, I don’t care.

Fola, 24/Female/5 years of friendship

I met her when I was in 100 level. We weren’t very close at first, but our relationship evolved and we became best friends. Even though I was always stood by her, I think our relationship inevitably broke down due to built-up resentment.

In 500 level, I got pregnant and it was a very difficult time for me. Two weeks after I gave birth, we were together and she gave me her phone. One thing led to another and the phone screen broke. I’m still not even sure how it happened. 

She got angry and insisted I repair the phone. I was really surprised that someone who knew the emotional trauma and financial constraint I was going through at the time would be so thoughtless, especially since she was well off enough to fix it herself. 

She said she didn’t send me to get pregnant and continued to insist. I sent her the little money I had left, and she never even repaired the phone. I eventually gave her a piece of my mind and blocked her. That was the end of the friendship.

NerdEfiko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

leaving their ex
June 18, 2021

Sometimes we get overwhelmed and make decisions we later regret. In this article, seven Nigerian women talk about why they regret leaving their ex.  Tomisin, 25 My ex used to send me not less than 50k every month.  He moved abroad and after two months, he told me he has fallen in love with someone […]

June 18, 2021

People love us for various reasons. Take this quiz and we’ll tell you what your friends love most about you. Relationships can be hard, and sometimes you just need someone to give you a bit of advice. Ask Ozzy is our new advice column where you send Zikoko the relationship questions that have been bugging […]

June 17, 2021

While smart investing is a sure way to build and retain wealth, it can be a daunting prospect for beginners. In the same vein, it is a lot easier when you understand the various options in which you can invest and ultimately grow your wealth. Here are some options you can consider when taking the […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

More from Inside Life

June 17, 2021

Femi*, 26, and Yemisi*, 25, have been dating for two years. Today on Love Life, they talk about helping each other grow and be better people and how the lockdown helped them transition into a long distance relationship. What’s your earliest memory of each other?  Yemisi: In November 2018, I asked people on my Twitter […]

June 16, 2021

Quotes about money- If you’re a Nigerian and you think about money a lot, this post will make you laugh a little. We scoured the internet for quotes about money that Nigerians can relate to. Enjoy, and try not to cry. 1. “I’m so poor, I can’t even pay attention.“- Ron Kittle This is a […]

Thick thigh problems
June 16, 2021

Thick thighs save lives started as a body-positive slogan, and while it has made people a lot more confident about their bodies, it’s not all rainbows. We’ve highlighted a few thick thigh struggles in this article. 1. Your jeans always get ripped You’ve long realized that you can never have a favourite pair of jeans […]

June 15, 2021

As a Nigerian, sometimes you need to remind yourself that you are in the best country in the world. 1) We have delicious suya and kilishi Regulate open grazing? No. Ban Twitter? Yes. Ban Cryptocurrency? Yes. Why? Because Suya and Kilishi >>>>> Technological advancement. It’s quite simple really. 2) “Over raw” best in world rankings […]

June 15, 2021

Adulting is a scam and anyone who’s above 18 can attest to that. We are all tired of the daily ghetto adulting is, which is why we’ve come up with very helpful tips on how to escape it: 1.Change the year on your date of birth. Are you really an adult if the government doesn’t […]

June 12, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a heterosexual 25-year-old man who became obsessed with penises when he realised his penis was small. He talks about how having a small penis affects his […]

June 11, 2021

Whether you’re new to the ZiGeng, or you’ve been rocking with Zikoko since forever, there are some pretty valid reasons why giving us all your money (it’s not as if we like money oh, but who are we to say no if you actually decide to go all in?) is worth considering. 1. We make […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X