6 Weird Things That Will Always Happen At Nigerian Weddings

July 18, 2020

The events of this year have put wedding parties to a complete (read: temporary, because what will we do with the rest of our lives) stop. I’ve been thinking about what happens at these turn-ups and I’ve realised that some things have become a culture and odds are that they will never stop.

1. Nothing will start on time

Well, starting things on time is still a strange concept to us. I get why people would come late to the church service, but what about the reception? This won’t stop happening, though, and we will be forever proud of it. 

2. Strictly by invitation will only happen in theory

Trust your guests to bring a plus-one or more. The invitation card you sent to them is meant to admit only one person, but who cares about that? The more, the merrier, right? And we wonder why food is never enough. 

3. The Wannabe Photographers will always show themselves 

Nigerian Wedding Events Asoebi for Android - APK Download

Sure, phone cameras make everything easier and I get the urge to use them at every chance. However, in your excitement to take some pictures you will delete in a few months, you’re making the lives of the ACTUAL photographers paid to do the job more difficult. But hey, this is Nigeria. Everyone is a professional of sorts. 

4. The “High Table” will always be big deal 

I promise I’m not a hater. But why does the MC ask the guests to clap for the people who “make” it to the high table? Why is that such a big accomplishment? What’s the reasoning behind it? 

5. The struggle to “outspray” one another won’t go out of fashion

While this part of the wedding party is very glamorous, I wonder if the people that tend to do too much wake up the next day with clarity and a banging headache, thinking about the hole they’ve drilled in their accounts. Is money hangover a thing?

6. MCs. Uhm, MCs.

Mixmasters-Entertainment | Nigerian Dj, Nigerian wedding dj ...

I don’t know if it’s the weddings I’ve been to (I haven’t been to a lot, to be honest.) but MCs are, well… a lot. On second thought, I’ve decided not to touch this. However, you can read more about MCs and their antics here.

You'll like this

benefits of sunscreen
February 24, 2020

I’ll tell you for free, if your morning skincare routine doesn’t include the benefits of sunscreen, then you are very wrong. (That is, if you even have a skin care routine and anointing oil slapped on your face every morning isn’t the end of things. Judging you btw) Here are 5 benefits of sunscreen that […]

July 19, 2019

Women always help women. Perhaps it was contained in the small print of the ten commandments, or as part of some sacred hadith, but it is essentially law at this point. From seemingly mundane situations like strangers helping to check if a sister is stained, or randomly hyping strangers in the girl’s bathroom to more […]

Toheeb

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 10, 2020

Nigerian women have a lot to get off of their chest in regards to Nigerian men. Last week, it was about problems with dating Nigerian men. Now, here are 10 things Nigerian women want Nigerian men to know. Sade Porn is not real life. For goodness sake, I will not be doing snake in the […]

August 10, 2020

You know how Nigerians are generally homophobic; any small thing and they’ll recoil and say “Ah yew a gay?”  First of all there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Second of all, there are some perfectly normal things homosexual and heterosexual men should be able to do without being labelled. If you do some of the […]

August 10, 2020

After reading this, make sure you share with any young person you care deeply about. Here you go: 1) You’ll have energy to work forever. Alexa, play Young Forever by Jay-z. 2) The world is ending because of Miss Rona. Enjoy your life, young king and queen. 3) The Naira is getting stronger. Thank God […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

More from Inside Life

August 10, 2020

You know how Nigerians are generally homophobic; any small thing and they’ll recoil and say “Ah yew a gay?”  First of all there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Second of all, there are some perfectly normal things homosexual and heterosexual men should be able to do without being labelled. If you do some of the […]

August 8, 2020

We like to think our bodies are our own. Like we own and control them. But you see this body you call your own, it chooses to disgrace, embarrass and betray you, occasionally at the worst of times. Read on to see the  6 terrible ways your body can betray you so you can cast […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X