As a Nigerian twenty-something, I must confess that being an adult is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I’m sure you feel the same too. No one knows our struggle. So let’s tell them:
1. When you decide to move out of your parent’s house and you realize how expensive rent is.
Please don’t let me go. One more year, please.
2. When you cannot find an affordable place to rent that’s not a shithole.
God, what is this place?!
3. When you try to convince potential employers that you’re qualified for a job.
Because your degree isn’t even enough.
4. When you get the job and realize that school did NOT prepare you for this.
What is this?
5. When your boss actually expects you to work from 9 to 5.
No, it’s not a joke.
6. When you could no longer fake a sick day for being tired, like you used to in school.
So you start waiting for the public holidays…
7. When you realize that PHCN, internet and water bills are not part of the rent.
Wait, what? WHAT?!
8. Then this is you everytime you have to pay the bills.
Is it me that spent all this? How much light and water did I use?
9. When you can no longer rely on someone else to cook for you – or do the dishes.
Growing up is a scam. I wasn’t ready.
10. When you’ve spent all of your salary but it’s just the first week of the month.
*cries in poverty*
11. When you check your bank balance after one week of avoiding it.
Oh god!
12. When you realize how many random things you have to pay for as an adult.
Wazzaldis?
13. When you realised you need to be saving a portion of your money for the ‘future’.
Is the future not far?
14. When your life achievements aren’t exactly how you pictured them back in school.
By now, I should’ve been worth 5 million dollars.
15. When people assume you can have grown up conversations just because you’re an adult now.
‘Scuse me, I have an inner child.
16. When someone tells you that they envy the life you’ve built.
Please why are you mocking me?
17. When you cannot go out with friends because you have to spend the weekends cleaning the house and doing laundry.
If not you have to buy new clothes…and no money.
18. When your life practically explodes and you have to call your parents for help.
Mummy, please pick up.
19. But they’re Nigerian, so this is most likely their reaction.
Mom, stop laughing. It’s not funny.
20. When people around you start getting married and having babies at a creepily fast rate.
Will everybody just calm down?!
21. When people start asking, “When are you going to settle down?”
I literally just grew up.
22. When you finally realize that being an adult is overrated.
It’s all a huge scam. DON’T DO IT!
See. I want a break from adulting. Just 6 months. Is that too much to ask?
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