11 Things Nigerian Parents Say When They Are Losing An Argument

March 11, 2020

Parents are always right. Period. No questions asked.

It’s a hot day, you are countering your parents with logical and well-laid points. Finally, a win to complete your training and establish your dominance. Suddenly, your parents bring out one or more of these from their arsenal of an adult is never wrong.

1) “Children of nowadays.”

Na wa oh.

2) “Will you keep quiet.”

Ahan.

3) “When I was your age.”

Again?

4) “I didn’t raise you like this.”

I give up.

5) “You are trying to kill me abi?”

Why so dramatic?

6) “Go and find your real mother.”

Mummy pls.

7) “See this child of yesterday.”

I am 32!

8) “You met me in this world.”

Just small Google points that I dropped.

9) “Was it not me that sent you to school?”

But…but.

10) “Your children will do the same to you.”

Ahan!

11) “I am talking you are talking.”

Isn’t that the definition of conversations?

What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

Hassan Yahaya

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

May 14, 2021

Bolanle Austen-Peters Production, in collaboration with the MTN Foundation, is bringing the story and characters of Wole Soyinka’s Death and the King’s Horseman to the Terra Kulture stage on May 13 to 16 in eight performances. The story, which is inspired by true events, is about a king’s horseman who is prevented from committing ritual […]

May 14, 2021

Spiderman has been seen doing a ton of questionable things on the TL lately — dancing at parties for food, twerking for coins and passing out at nightclubs. We can’t tell if it’s the economy or he took the wrong covid vaccine, but something is seriously wrong with that man. So, inspired by these shenanigans, […]

The Worst Thing A Friend Has Done
May 14, 2021

Friendships can be tricky. Sometimes, friends hurt each other and it’s hard to get past that. In this article, we asked seven Nigerian women to share the worst thing a friend has done to them.  Ibinabo, 24 I had this roommate when I was doing my diploma in Ibadan. I was a new student but […]

Recommended Quizzes

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Inside Life

May 13, 2021

Abuse in mental health institutions is not a new phenomenon. Reports of abuse emanate from care institutions nationwide. This is worsened by the fact that there are thousands of unregistered mental health institutions which often use unorthodox methods in the treatment of patients. The case isn’t any different in government-run institutions where practitioners operate unsupervised […]

man holding money to his ear
May 12, 2021

Are you tired of waiting for a promotion that doesn’t seem to be coming? We get it, and that’s why we made this guide to getting one. 1. Work hard Work very hard. Show up at work before everybody. Do their work and yours too. You can even go on public holidays to show them […]

May 11, 2021

If you are part of the ‘’I want what Zikoko writers are on’’ bandwagon, then this article is 100% for you. It’s a short and easy guide to joining us.  1.Tweet your journo request every day.  Yes, this is step one. If you want to talk to people who have turned to yam and are […]

May 10, 2021

Emojis were created to make texting cooler and make conversations a lot more interesting. Since we are ever so kind at Zikoko, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to interpret what some emojis should mean.  1.🙂 This emoji should be called the 40+ emoji, it’s not a smile or a frown? It’s passive-aggressive, very much like […]

May 8, 2021

Exclusive new SoundCloud playlist on Triller features standout independent artists direct from SoundCloud Lagos, 7th May 2021 – AI-powered social media experience Triller and next-generation music entertainment company SoundCloud, today, announced a new integration that will uniquely showcase and support emerging independent artists with the launch of a dedicated SoundCloud-curated playlist featured on Triller. For […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X