Women Hate Women? These 9 Nigerian Women Say Otherwise

August 18, 2020

“Women hate women” is a statement people peddle to try and discredit all the ways women continue to help themselves day after day. Well, we got nine women to remind us, by telling us the various ways their female friends or even random women have been there for them.


My roommates are basically like my sisters now because combining sports with school and trying to maintain a social life would have been damn near impossible if not for them. What they do might seem small, but it is the little things. They warm water for me to bathe after practice, and even get me food to eat. One time, I had medication to take and one of them set an alarm so she could remind me and also wake me up to take it. These might seem like little things, but having that steady support system is something I need.


I just got a divorce and decided to try starting life all over again. I got a job in a new state and a day before I was to leave, my best friend showed up at my doorstep. She took ten days off work just so she could come with me. She helped me move in and for the first week of my new job, was basically a housewife. When she went back, she sent flowers to my office to celebrate a month of me keeping the job. She has always had my back, but that period of time? She showed up and showed out.


Once, I met this lady and we had only known each other for a week. It was around a time period when I was down, did not have any money, and was having issues with my dad. She called me everyday, checked in, and made sure I was okay. One day, I received a credit alert from her. She told me she asked a few of my friends for my account number because I had refused to send it to her. The next day, she came to my office and took me out for lunch. She told me not to hesitate to ask for anything, and she wanted nothing in return except knowing I am okay.


When I was in school, I got assaulted by this boy. I was so down and defeated, but my friends? They were livid. These women were ready to break his head, I just had to say the word. I did not want a lot of drama, so I told them to drop it. They stayed with me, held me, and helped me move on with life.


I needed to take out a loan for my business, and they requested for a guarantor. I sent the message in this all women group chat I am on, and someone volunteered. The only thing I know about her is that we are on the group chat together, but she still agreed. After I got the loan, she sent me 100 thousand naira as a “business warming” present. I was amazed.


I had been unemployed for about a year and some months. I moved back in with my parents so I do not spend all the savings I had on rent. One day, I got an email that I had been selected for an interview. I thought it was a scam, so I called my best friend. She told me she had been applying for jobs on my behalf for the past year. The day before my interview, she sent me two outfits and a new wig with a note that said “you got this”. I got the job, and I do not think I would have without her.


I am the first born in my family, and honestly things are very tight. In school, I barely have enough for myself, just so my parents have more to give my other siblings. I have a friend who buys me lunch everyday without fail. If she does not come to school, she will send someone else to buy food for me. I asked her why, and she told me “it is what friends do”. I cried that day.


My parents were abusive, so I ran away. I showed up at my friend’s doorstep with nothing but a bag, and said nothing except “I do not feel safe at home”. I stayed for three months. She got me something to do in the meantime. We became roommates and I started paying half the rent. She refused initially, but I insisted. 2 years later, we still live together. I love her, so so much. She is like the sister I never had.


We raised a child together. I got pregnant in University, and I did not want to terminate it. My parents disowned me, and she was a bit more well off than I was. She would collect extra money from her parents we would use to buy baby things. I was in my second year, and we raised the child till I graduated. Her father with his connections, got us to serve in the same state. My child is seven now, and still calls her mummy sometimes. Our other friends joke that we should just get married because we are both single, and honestly if I could, I would.

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Itohan Esekheigbe

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