In 2025, What She Said went to the places we usually only talk about in whispers. This year, we told the stories of 26 women.
Stories about the quiet, heavy burden of being the eldest daughter and the radical act of finally choosing oneself; stories about the terrifying reality of being 40 and still under the control of your brother and stories about the complex grief of loving a child while wishing, sometimes, that they were never born.
We explored motherhood, from the hope of surrogacy to the physical toll of losing a fallopian tube to a complicated love. We navigated the friction of identity, from the nuances of mixed-raceness and colourism in the workplace to the isolation of the “Japa” dream, where freedom in a new country often came at the cost of deep loneliness.
We told stories of survival: navigating life with HPV and PCOS, and the harrowing aftermath of sexual violence and legal battles. Most telling of all, however, were the stories of autonomy. Whether it was a woman deciding to have a baby on her own terms or another finally walking away from a “worst nightmare” marriage, the recurring heartbeat of 2025 was African women reclaiming their power from partners, families, and society.
In honour of these 26 brave voices, we’ve curated the moments that stayed with us the longest. Here are our top 10 stories from What She Said 2025:
1. “I’m the Eldest Daughter Who Chose Herself” — Fifunmi*, 27
Being the “firstborn daughter” is often a life sentence of service. This story struck a chord with every woman who has ever felt like a second parent, documenting the radical, messy, and necessary journey of finally putting her own needs first.
“I was the deputy parent, the emotional punching bag, and the family ATM all at once. I remember sitting in my room, looking at my savings, and realising that if I didn’t leave then, I would spend the rest of my life living for people who didn’t even know what my favourite colour was. Moving out wasn’t just about a new address; it was the first time I chose my own survival over their convenience.”
2. “Surrogacy Gave Me the Child I Couldn’t Carry” —Susan*, 39
In a society that often weaponises infertility against women, this story was necessary. It took us through the emotional and financial rollercoaster of surrogacy, proving that motherhood isn’t defined by biology alone, but by the fierce love that brings a child home.
“After the third miscarriage, I felt like a broken vessel. People kept telling me to ‘wait on God,’ but I felt like God had already given me the answer through science. Seeing another woman carry my child was an exercise in total surrender. When I finally held my daughter, I didn’t care whose womb she came from; I just knew that every prayer I’d ever whispered had finally found a home in her.”
3. “I Found Out My Boyfriend Had Another Babe After He Died” — Demi*, 28
Grief is hard enough, but finding out about a double life after the person is gone is a different kind of pain. This story explored the messy overlap of heartbreak and anger, and how one woman had to learn to forgive a man who wasn’t there to apologise.
“I was scrolling through his iPad, looking for photos of us to play at the service, when the notifications started popping up. ‘I miss you, baby.’ ‘When are you coming home to us?’ It wasn’t just a fling; it was a whole life. I spent the funeral staring at his casket, feeling this burning rage because I was mourning a man who didn’t actually exist. He took the truth to the grave and left me to drown in the lies.”
4. “I Wasn’t Born From Love, But From a Fetish” — Daphne* 27
This was perhaps our most jarring and honest piece on identity this year. By exploring the reality of being mixed-race not as a romanticised ideal, but as the result of a fetish, it forced us to look at race, power, and parentage through a lens we rarely ever see in mainstream media.
“My father didn’t fall in love with my mother’s soul; he fell in love with the ‘aesthetic’ of a ‘white woman’. Growing up, I realised he looked at me like a prize or a rare collectable, not a daughter. Every time he complimented my ‘exotic’ features, it felt like a reminder that I was born out of an obsession with difference rather than a genuine connection between two people.”
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5. “I Dropped Out of School to Japa, Then My Brother Snitched” — Vanessa* 32
A story of betrayal that felt like a movie script. We followed the high-stakes gamble of a woman who put everything on the line for a better future, only to be betrayed by her own blood. It sparked a massive conversation about family loyalty and where it should end.
“I thought my brother was my confidant, but he was actually the mole. He waited until my dad was on a business trip and I had gone to school to pack the last of my things; then he noticed the TV was gone and called our father. My dad blocked the compound, and the poor driver I’d hired was beaten and dragged to the police station. My brother didn’t just snitch to ‘save’ us; he destroyed everything I was building. I ended up drowning in debt before ever leaving Nigeria, and while we’re civil now, I’ve never truly forgiven him for cutting me that deep.”
6. “I Love My Son Deeply, But Sometimes I Wish He Was Never Born” — Evie* 28
The honesty in this piece was staggering. By admitting to maternal regret, she gave a voice to thousands of women who feel trapped because they love their child with their whole heart and still mourn the life they gave up for them. It was a heavy, necessary reminder that we need to support mothers as human beings, not just as caregivers.
“I love him with my whole life, but living in this cycle of hospital visits and seizures is draining. There are moments, when he is going through a crisis, and the fear of losing him overshadows everything, that I have lowkey wished it would just end, or both our sakes. I look at my friends who are travelling or doing their master’s, and I think, ‘I could have been there.’ I carry this cross with love, but I also carry the mourning of the woman I was before I became ‘Mum.’ I would rather live my life like this than without him, but I wish people understood the weight of the life I didn’t realise would be this lonely.”
7. “Loving My Boss Cost Me My Fallopian Tube” — Damilola* 28
This story is a cautionary tale about the blurred lines of workplace romance and health. It laid bare the dangers of power imbalances in the workplace and the ways women often trade their health and safety for the hope of being loved. It was a stark reminder of how emotional entanglements can have devastating, permanent consequences on a woman’s body.
“He was my boss, so everything had to be a secret. When I started bleeding and felt that stabbing pain, I didn’t even know I was pregnant. By the time the doctors confirmed it was an ectopic pregnancy, they had to rush me into surgery to save my life before it ruptured. They took out one of my Fallopian Tubes, leaving me with a permanent scar and the knowledge that my chances of conceiving again are now halved. I realised I had literally lost a part of my body for a man who, throughout our relationship, was cohabiting with another woman and engaged to two others. All his apologies weren’t about changing; they were just about hiding his cheating better.”
8. “My Ex Tried to Pull Me Into a Threesome, Then Sued Me for Defamation” — Bekky* 25
This story had us all in a chokehold. It highlighted the terrifying ways that boundaries can be ignored in modern dating and the weaponisation of the legal system. It served as a stark reminder that sometimes, moving on is the most dangerous part of a breakup.
“I woke up in her bed to find her fully naked with toys scattered everywhere, and later, she and her boyfriend started making out on the couch right next to me, putting their hands on my thigh to pull me in. When I blocked her and moved on, she teamed up with a creepy admirer from my past to send me a 30-day notice for a defamation lawsuit. They threw everything at the wall, accusing me of damaging her business and ‘accusing her of homosexuality’ to clients. It was a terrifying attempt to use the law to intimidate me into silence.”
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9. “I Married My Worst Nightmare” — Amanda* 28
The title says it all, but the story went deeper. It chronicled the slow erosion of a woman’s spirit in a toxic marriage and the incredible, bone-deep courage it took for her to plan her escape and start over.
“He borrowed ₦30k from me the very first day I agreed to date him, and it only got worse from there. Sometimes, it was ₦500k or ₦1m at a time. After the wedding, he would literally take off his ring at the gate and spend weeks at a friend’s house while I stayed at home sick and hungry. When I was pregnant and needed a CS, he dropped me at the hospital and went back to his friend’s house; I had to sort the bills and baby things alone. He told me I couldn’t leave because people would insult me for being a ‘single mum twice.’ But the day I realised he only sent ‘change’ so I wouldn’t tell our child he did nothing, I knew I was done. I’m never looking back.”
10. “He Asked for Sex Days After My Abortion” — Tonye* 23
This story highlighted a specific kind of cruelty: the lack of empathy during a woman’s most vulnerable physical moment. It was a powerful look at bodily autonomy and the realisation that sometimes, the person you’re with doesn’t see your pain; they only see their own needs.
“I was still bleeding, still cramping, and my body felt strangled. Just days after the abortion, he came to me and said he was horny. Stupidly, I allowed him, and that experience rewired my brain to think I was just a tool for sexual satisfaction. To him, my body wasn’t a person in recovery; it was a utility that was temporarily out of order. Years later, I still haven’t enjoyed sex, and I still struggle with the anxiety of checking my calendar every time I’m touched. I thought I was mature enough for a 28-year-old at 17, but now I see he should have known better.”
Click on each title to read more of What She Said.
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