These days, it feels like every unmarried person you know is having sex. But is it okay or ‘right’ to have sex outside of marriage?
Answering that question online — where your parents or your Pastor/Imam could possibly see this — is just like willingly walking into hot soup. But on the latest episode of Nigerians Talk, five Nigerians bite the bullet and share five things you should know before deciding where you stand on premarital sex.
The ‘Test the Machine First Before You Buy it’ Rule
Whether or not we like to admit it, sexual compatibility is crucial in marriage. According to our guests on this week’s episode, women need to know whether they are dealing with a man who has an indomie or a wine bottle before they commit for life.
Having sex before you say ‘I do’ will save you the embarrassment of telling a judge that you want to divorce your husband because he is too big to fit during sex or he’s too small to make you happy.
A Lot of Us Were Ringbearers/Flower Girls at Our Parents’ Weddings
Many parents only resist premarital sex from a cultural or religious point of view. Most Nigerians who preach celibacy do not personally practice it. People say morally, it’s a bad thing, but who are we kidding?
Many Gen Z children were ringbearers and flower girls at their parents’ weddings. The preaching of abstinence is from a personal point of view and not necessarily in consideration of the possible benefits of engaging in pre-marital sex.
Premarital Sex ≠ Casual Sex
What a lot of people don’t understand is that the fact that a person is having premarital sex does not mean they are having casual sex. Casual sex refers to hook-ups, one-night stands and everything outside of exclusive sexual relationships.
While having unprotected sex with multiple sexual partners is generally not advisable because there is a risk of sexually transmitted diseases as well as unwanted pregnancy, it does not mean complete abstinence is the answer either. As with everything else, balance is important.
‘Even Virgins Don’t Want to Marry Virgins Anymore’
With many Gen Zs, not having premarital sex is outdated and celibate Gen Zs no longer want to marry celibate partners.
Nobody wants to have to deal with awkward wedding nights or having to figure out what to do in the bedroom with an equally clueless person.
Sex Is Everywhere. Pretending It’s Not Doesn’t Help
Sex is as much a primal need as is food and shelter. These days, everything around you, from the billboard you see on the way home every day to the packaging on your utensils, is sexual.
A celibate person is no better than a sexually active person. Sex, just like deciding whether or not to be a vegetarian, is a lifestyle choice.
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