Zikoko’s Shift the Story campaign brought Kanyinsola Erogbogbo, an actress who lit up the screen playing Cupid in Something Sweet, and Fisayo Adeyemi, a business analyst and founder of Rayne Consults, who has been hustling since her teens, together in a Twitter space.
Their discussion, Romance or Risk: When Financial Power is Missing in Relationships, wasn’t just another convo about Naira and love; it was a wake-up call about how financial independence is rewriting the rules of romance in Nigeria today.
Kanyinsola defined financial security as “peace of mind” and the ability to make choices from a place of strength, not desperation. For her, it’s really about having enough savings and disposable income to avoid dependence on a partner. This independence shapes her relationship choices, allowing her to prioritise mutual respect over survival.
She emphasised choosing partners who value her autonomy, echoing a friend’s sentiment about seeking someone who sees her independence as an asset, not a threat. In a culture where traditional gender roles often cast men as providers, Kanyinsola’s perspective challenges the status quo, as she advocates for relationships where both parties bring value.
Drawing from her own journey of financial hustle, making her first million before 25 through ventures like selling cakes and makeup, Fisayo described financial security as having options. She shared parts of her upbringing where she watched her mother shoulder bills when her father couldn’t. This shaped her belief that women’s contributions to household finances are often underacknowledged.
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Fisayo disagreed with the illusion that men always cover everything; she noted that many Nigerian women, from market traders to professionals, have long been financial pillars. For Fisayo, financial empowerment allows women to make emotionally healthy decisions, free from the blinding quality of economic dependence.
Both speakers highlighted the risks of financial power imbalances in relationships. Fisayo told us about financial abuse disguised as generosity, where partners offering to “take care of everything” may strip women of their earning potential completely.
This resonates with Zikoko’s mission to challenge gender norms, as seen in the Zikoko Life series, including Something Sweet, where Kanyinsola played Odera. The film’s themes of agency mirror the point of this space, which is to give women a wake-up call to avoid being tethered to unhealthy dynamics.
This conversation also addressed who should pay the bills in modern relationships. Kanyinsola leaned towards a flexible, partnership approach as she rejected the age-long 50-50 splits in favour of splitting responsibilities based on each partner’s financial capacity.
Fisayo agreed as she emphasised trust and shared responsibility over strict percentages. She noted that many Nigerian men feel culturally wired to provide, but the growing earning power of women is changing dynamics. Fisayo believes that love means both partners show up financially, especially in Nigeria’s tough economy, where tides can change unexpectedly.
This Twitter space, part of Zikoko’s HER Convos, highlighted a powerful truth. Financial security empowers women to choose love over survival. Zikoko continues to amplify voices like Kanyinsola’s and Fisayo’s, who engage in discourse that challenges norms and celebrates the agency of women. This makes it crystal clear that money doesn’t just buy options; it gives women the freedom to love on their own terms.
Today, we have three brilliant women lined up for a Twitter space discourse on Women, Sex and Shame by 7 pm. From Hannatu Asheloge, a journalist and co-convener of The Sarah Project, to Dr. Zeenaht Abdullahi, an Obstetrician and Gynaecologist and Dr. Nafisa Muazu, a medical doctor. Set a reminder for the space here and come ready to change your worldview.
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