8 Nigerian Women Talk About The First Time They Had Penetrative Sex

July 22, 2021

TW: Sexual Abuse

Everyone has a story about their first time. In this article, eight Nigerian women talk about the first time they had penetrative sex.

Nancy, 22

I didn’t bleed during my first time, probably because my boyfriend in secondary school used to finger me when we made out.  The first time a penis tried to go inside me was 2019. It hurt too much so we stopped.

I went to read about it. I saw we needed lube so we used baby oil and tried again. When we finished, he asked if I was okay.

I said, “So that’s the sex thing?”

I was disappointed. I didn’t have sex for a while after that because I felt like there had to be more to sex. After a few months later, I tried having again but I couldn’t orgasm. In fact it was not possible for me to orgasm until last year. 

Tosin, 19

I enjoyed my first time, to be honest. It happened a few months ago and so far, it’s the best sex I’ve ever had. I bled a little, but it wasn’t as painful as I expected. I had read a lot about other people’s first time so I anticipated a lot of pain. The guy I had sex with was a pro. We had a long foreplay session before he tried penetrating me. We didn’t even need lube. It went well and I enjoyed myself. 

K, 23

My first time wasn’t exactly my first time — I was molested as a child and therefore I always thought I wasn’t a virgin. The first time I had sex willingly was with my friend. He was 24, I was 15. It hurt like hell and I bled for a while. He was a jerk — he wasn’t listening to me and I felt terrible. I hated sex for the longest time after that. 

Zara, 19

I had always thought my first time would be rosy and sweet but after it happened, I was like, life is no goddamn Netflix movie.

While we were making out and had agreed to have sex, I kept asking myself if I should do it and when it eventually happened, I regretted every bit of it. I didn’t bleed a lot, because I didn’t let the process go on for long — it hurt like hell. I haven’t had sex again since that day and I wonder if I ever will. 

About a month later, I found out the guy was also with another girl. I hate that I trusted him with my first time. 

Blessing, 20

I had sex with someone for the first time because I wanted to get it over with. I was 19 at the time. I chose the guy I had sex with  because he was good looking but I wasn’t interested in him and didn’t mind never talking to him again. 

He didn’t know I had never done it before and thankfully, I didn’t bleed. I’m on the asexual spectrum so I didn’t feel anything while we had sex. Genital meet and greet was all it was. 

Bibi, 23

My first time was so damn painful. I was not able to walk well for about a week. I was scared when I didn’t see blood so we had sex  again. That was when I saw the blood. It wasn’t as much as I expected but I was relieved. 

Kay, 26

I met this guy in 2016 and we started dating. Everytime we made out, I would tell him I didn’t want to have sex. Our relationship grew stronger and we had plans to get married so I started thinking of doing it. 

One day when we were making out, I asked him to try. He asked if I was sure and I said yes. He suggested that he use his tiny finger first because it might be painful for me. After we got his finger in,  we tried his penis. It was so painful and I was shouting but at that point I just wanted to get it over with. I didn’t enjoy it and for about two years after that, I wasn’t enjoying sex. I was just doing it because I felt like I had to until I started exploring myself outside of a partner. 

IB, 24

My first time was very painful. The guy and I had a thing for a while where we would make out. It ended because I was in school. One time, we ran into each other at Lagos Fashion Week and we exchanged contacts. Later that night he texted me to come over and I did. He was neither rough nor gentle — I feel like he cared more about his own pleasure than mine. I remember spotting for two days after. I don’t regret it and I’m glad it was random. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of my first time because last last, it’s just sex. 

Subscribe to our newsletter here.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

September 2, 2021

If you are dating a woman and you do any of the following things, you are a walking red flag.  1. When he doesn’t buy you food when you say you’ve not eaten  Do we need to tell you first? Which brings us to the next point.  2. Not knowing what we want before we […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 8, 2022

Dammy lost a lot of weight in 2021. What she didn’t know was that her method of losing weight was going to come back and bite her in 2022. In this article, she talks about binge-eating and the effect it’s had on her mental and physical health.

Recommended Quizzes

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

September 1, 2021

August is over, and here are some of our best quizzes from August. Enjoy: 1. QUIZ: Only Ajebutters Can Get 10/21 On This Quiz Some people like to form ajepako when they’re really ajebutter. Are you one of them? Let’s find out. 2. QUIZ: Sorry, If You’re Under 25 There’s No Way You Can Pass […]

More from Her

July 31, 2022

In this letter #ToHER, @busayo_os. goes off-brand to be mushy with her best friend, Ifeoma. They’ve been friends for 4 years and this is the closest thing to an “I love you” Ifeoma may get in the next 3 years.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X