Anyone who has been in a hoe phase knows that it’s a thrilling experience. In this article, six Nigerian women talk about being in their hoe phase. 

Black couple in bed

Eve, 24

In January, my boyfriend and I had a misunderstanding that led to our break-up. We got back together but a few days later, this guy broke up with me again. I cried so much and that’s when I decided that I wanted to be on the streets. 

I work in the oil and gas sector so that all the men I meet are well to do. I took advantage of that. I became open to the rich guys that had been toasting me. I have a lot of men at my disposal — the ones who sponsor trips, the ones that pay rent, the ones that sponsor my lifestyle. 

I have rules though. I don’t do married men and if you are not ready to test for STI, we are not having sex — I can’t risk my life for nonsense. Whenever it feels like I am catching feelings, I remember how it ended with my ex and renew my wickedness portion. It’s been a smooth ride so far. 

Tee, 21

After I broke up with my last boyfriend over a year ago, I was heartbroken and needed distractions, so I decided to have sex with people without attachments. I always made it clear to my partners that I wanted nothing more than sex. I tried to have sex with a different man every time. It was easier to not get attached that way. Most of the people I had sex with were already my friends so it was easy to fuck and move on. Some of them had girlfriends, some of them were also nurturing their broken hearts like me. It was all fun in the end. 

I’d recommend that anyone going into their hoe phase should avoid people they know they have feelings for. That was one mistake I made — I had sex with someone I had feelings for. It almost ruined our friendship but we’re good now and I know better.

Tare, 26

The hoe phase was liberating. It started when I was 19, ended when I was 23. I was fucking at least five men during the same period. It was fun watching each of them try to claim me and keep me in a relationship. At one point, I had sex with two friends at the same time, just to see their reaction. The sex I had during that period was so good I had to abstain from sex for over a year. 

There are so many different men out there and if you don’t try it out, you will be limited in your knowledge of men. The hoe phase taught me what to expect from men. I also found out the kind of man I wanted to be with. In all, it was a fun experience. 

Abimbola, 24 

After I broke up with my ex last year April, I was so hurt that I promised myself that I wouldn’t date any man again. I decided I wanted to use the guys around me as I pleased. There was no man that liked me I didn’t collect money from. I had sex with the ones I wanted to have sex with and used the others in practical ways like errands.

But sometime in April this year, I met my present boyfriend. We had sex a few times and I caught feelings. He’s a great guy but I’m not committed to the relationship. I’m not having sex with anyone asides from him but I have a lot of other guys that I text and we talk about anything and everything.

Oby, 20

I am currently in my hoe phase and I think it’s better than wasting time with one person. There are no rules in the hoe phase but if you don’t want everyone to know you are a hoe, don’t have sex with neighbours or coursemates or church members. If not, you go cast. Also, don’t waste your hoe energy on someone you have feelings for. It will end in premium tears. 

Jessica, 25

In 2018, my ex and I broke up. I didn’t have sex throughout 2019 because I thought my ex and I would get back together. By January 2020, I clocked that he had moved on and I went wild. I travelled to places I had never been to collect dick. I slept with my friend’s brother in their house. I am not so proud of it but I also made out with my friend’s boyfriend. At the end of it, I felt guilty and now, I am back to being holy. 

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