5 Top Struggles Of Applying Makeup As A Novice

September 3, 2020

Since the dawn of time, women have worn makeup to accent their features. What nobody tells you is how hard making up is. One wrong move and you’ve ruined everything. That said, here are 5 things novice struggle with when wearing makeup.

Drawing your freaking eyebrows

Women understand that a face without eyebrows is basically a jog into the medieval ages (it was cool to be brow-less back then. Yikes).

You know drawing eyebrows is hard when you start asking yourself questions like why have my brows vowed to never be symmetrical? Why is the left brow thicker than a South African woman and the right brow looking disable? Why is my concealer not concealing? Sis, the eyebrow struggle is real.

Winging your eyeliner

Do you want to recreate a cat-eye look or give your face a badass-boss-bitch look? Well, too bad cause your eyeliner’s fucked up. How come every time we are required to draw our eyeliner, it seems we have Parkinson? That’s when your hands will shake or someone will push you off a cliff and now your eyeliner looks all weird. The worst part is when you try to do damage control, you end up adding to the eyeliner until you look like a panda. 

Contouring our face

Most women have given up on contouring because of the evil it has done to them. You’ll have a contour set but every time you attempt to contour your face, you end up looking like an artist’s palette for earth-toned colours. The entire thing just refuses to blend and even when it does, your face looks like you’re a contestant for RuPaul’s Drag Race. Lord, please take the brush. 

Highlighting your cheekbones and nose:

 Sis, I know you didn’t start out wanting to look like Rudolph the red-nose reindeer but in a bit to highlight your “contoured” face, you’re now out here looking like Rihanna sang “Shine bright like a diamond” for you. The worst part is, you probably know the secret to good highlighting is portion control but no matter how hard you try, your face ends up looking like the sun can reflect off it if it tries hard enough.

Applying eyeshadow

GIRRLLLL. I know you’re tired. After watching a myriad of youtube videos on how to apply eyeshadow, it sucks that we still can’t get it right. We see how the YouTubers apply layers and layers of colours in such fluid motion only for us to try it and now we literally look like the LGBT+ flag during a pride march. When does it end? 

Bonus: Fixing eyelashes

A lot of people don’t even attempt this so they don’t end up blind. I genuinely pity my sisters out there who try to make it work but end up glueing their eyes shut. The struggle to remove dried gum from their eyes is real. It’s worse if you have a sight defect. We can only do our best and insha’Allah our way into a good turnout.

If you can’t relate to anything in this listicle, from the bottom of my heart, screw you and your immaculate makeup skills.

Recommended: What a man’s reaction to a flying cockroach says about him in bed.

Eris Ekanem

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 30, 2020

Attaining the perfect Nigerian girlfriend status is not a day’s job but here are a few pointers to help nudge you in the right direction. 1. You may be the side chic or main chic.  Don’t try to find out which. It rains everywhere sis, just bless the Lord you have a man. It’s cold out […]

September 16, 2020

The woman in today’s What She Said thinks of herself as a hustler. At 29 years old, she has a decade-old career spanning industries without a university education. Now she’s committed to expanding her business. She loves what she does.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

April 14, 2021

The subject of this week’s What She Said is Thelma Egbe, a 28-year-old woman who loves cooking. She talks about growing up in a family where the men and women cooked, growing a food blogging and catering business, and how adulting almost made her stop. What was your childhood like? I spent a part of […]

April 13, 2021

They walk among us, these people. Every small opportunity they have, they want to stick their noses in your business. If they don’t see an opportunity, they’ll make one themselves. Here are 11 unmissable signs that someone cannot mind their business. 1. They look into your phone in public places. It’s almost like they want […]

April 13, 2021

We all love food, but some of us love food more than others. Here a list of ways to help you know if you love food more than the average person. 1. You comfortably eat in your dream. You love food so much, you don’t care if it’s your village people that are feeding you […]

April 13, 2021

Have you ever wondered what the love languages would be like if they were Nigerians? Well, I have and now I can’t unsee it. 1) Gift giving Gift giving is your rich sugar daddy that has old money and who probably has as many oil blocks as you have siblings. He is also a chairman […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

More from Her

April 14, 2021

The subject of this week’s What She Said is Thelma Egbe, a 28-year-old woman who loves cooking. She talks about growing up in a family where the men and women cooked, growing a food blogging and catering business, and how adulting almost made her stop. What was your childhood like? I spent a part of […]

Experiencing puberty
April 13, 2021

Puberty is described as a gradual switch from childhood to adulthood and also one of the most confusing stages of being human. Although it is characterized by changes like periods, growing breasts and rounding hips, many women experience puberty differently. Here’s what six Nigerian women have to say about experiencing puberty. Fifi, 22 I was […]

April 12, 2021

As Told To Itohan For a while now, I had been asking people what the most interesting parts about their love life. So, when someone reached out to me and said she fell in love with her Uncle, I wondered if I was reading right. The person in today’s As Told To is *Anna, a […]

prayer house
April 10, 2021

As told to Mariam I travelled to Ilorin for an exam last week and on the bus, I rode in, I met Yoma*. Somehow the conversation of faith came up, and she told me she didn’t subscribe to the Christianity practised in churches. When I asked why, this is what she told me: I grew […]

workplace horror stories
April 9, 2021

Working in Nigeria is the ghetto. No shade to my boss. Last week, I asked Nigerian women to tell me the worst things they have experienced working in Nigeria. Here’s what eight of them had to say.  Jumoke, 25  My former boss used to gaslight me, to the extent that I began to doubt my […]

April 8, 2021

You want to know why the Nigerian women in your life do not iron clothes? Well, here are six very simple reasons. 1) Clothes Have you seen the clothes of an average Nigerian woman? Where do you expect them to start the ironing from? With all the ruffles, puffs and pleats. The clothes look like […]

April 6, 2021

The HER newsletter is a weekly Zikoko newsletter that comes out every Saturday by 2 p.m. Since we just got to 2k subscribers, we decided to explain the six types of HER Newsletter readers. 1) The early bird They read at exactly 2 p.m. every Saturday. They have no time to waste. The only thing […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X