5 Top Struggles Of Applying Makeup As A Novice

September 3, 2020

Since the dawn of time, women have worn makeup to accent their features. What nobody tells you is how hard making up is. One wrong move and you’ve ruined everything. That said, here are 5 things novice struggle with when wearing makeup.

Drawing your freaking eyebrows

Women understand that a face without eyebrows is basically a jog into the medieval ages (it was cool to be brow-less back then. Yikes).

You know drawing eyebrows is hard when you start asking yourself questions like why have my brows vowed to never be symmetrical? Why is the left brow thicker than a South African woman and the right brow looking disable? Why is my concealer not concealing? Sis, the eyebrow struggle is real.

Winging your eyeliner

Do you want to recreate a cat-eye look or give your face a badass-boss-bitch look? Well, too bad cause your eyeliner’s fucked up. How come every time we are required to draw our eyeliner, it seems we have Parkinson? That’s when your hands will shake or someone will push you off a cliff and now your eyeliner looks all weird. The worst part is when you try to do damage control, you end up adding to the eyeliner until you look like a panda. 

Contouring our face

Most women have given up on contouring because of the evil it has done to them. You’ll have a contour set but every time you attempt to contour your face, you end up looking like an artist’s palette for earth-toned colours. The entire thing just refuses to blend and even when it does, your face looks like you’re a contestant for RuPaul’s Drag Race. Lord, please take the brush. 

Highlighting your cheekbones and nose:

 Sis, I know you didn’t start out wanting to look like Rudolph the red-nose reindeer but in a bit to highlight your “contoured” face, you’re now out here looking like Rihanna sang “Shine bright like a diamond” for you. The worst part is, you probably know the secret to good highlighting is portion control but no matter how hard you try, your face ends up looking like the sun can reflect off it if it tries hard enough.

Applying eyeshadow

GIRRLLLL. I know you’re tired. After watching a myriad of youtube videos on how to apply eyeshadow, it sucks that we still can’t get it right. We see how the YouTubers apply layers and layers of colours in such fluid motion only for us to try it and now we literally look like the LGBT+ flag during a pride march. When does it end? 

Bonus: Fixing eyelashes

A lot of people don’t even attempt this so they don’t end up blind. I genuinely pity my sisters out there who try to make it work but end up glueing their eyes shut. The struggle to remove dried gum from their eyes is real. It’s worse if you have a sight defect. We can only do our best and insha’Allah our way into a good turnout.

If you can’t relate to anything in this listicle, from the bottom of my heart, screw you and your immaculate makeup skills.

Recommended: What a man’s reaction to a flying cockroach says about him in bed.

Eris Ekanem

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 4, 2021

In this week’s What She Said, Aramide Kayode is a 21-year-old economist and teacher. She talks to us about switching to education after a 21-day prayer and fasting revelation, going to Harvard and getting married at the age of 21.  What’s your earliest memory of your childhood? I’ve always been talkative. I remember when I […]

Lost hope
March 19, 2021

Following the trending conversation on breastfeeding earlier this month, I made a call for African women to share their experiences breastfeeding for an article. Cynthia* was one of the women that reached out to me, she told me her baby rejected breast milk and was sick at birth so I asked more questions. Here’s what […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

black girl leaning on the wall with curly hair
September 21, 2021

“Everyone from his fraternity ran away except him, and that was how he went down. He died on school grounds. Omo, I wasn’t myself for days. That was when I realized everything everyone said was true.”

8 Nigerian Women Talk About Their Experience With Cultists

Read here:

Recommended Quizzes

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Her

black girl leaning on the wall with curly hair
September 21, 2021

“Everyone from his fraternity ran away except him, and that was how he went down. He died on school grounds. Omo, I wasn’t myself for days. That was when I realized everything everyone said was true.”

8 Nigerian Women Talk About Their Experience With Cultists

Read here:

black woman with afro smiling
September 20, 2021

Hair lice are tiny, wingless insects that live in the hair of humans. They feed on tiny amounts of blood they get from the scalp. They spread easily from comb to comb. It is especially rampant among kids.  It’s not easy to get rid of hair lice but here are a few tips that have […]

woman lying down on bed
September 15, 2021

“He said a lot of things. He cried too. This continued till 5 am. Eventually, I gave in because I wanted to sleep. He is currently a gospel musician in Kaduna.”

11 Nigerian Women Talk About Being Coerced

Read here:

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X