If you are employed in Nigeria and your employer is reasonable, chances are this is salary week. This week always reveals the different types of workers in any organization. From the employees who beg and cry, to the silently distressed, to the calm ones. Before we start on the different types of workers, let’s take a quote from our sponsors:
“Long work hours may break my bone but salary week excites me.” – Anonymous, 2020.
1) Can you borrow me money:
They always need to borrow N2,800 until Friday when they get paid. This never changes month in and out. If there is one thing they are consistent with, it’s not learning how to properly manage their money.
2) The calm/indifferent employees:
Chances are high that they are number one on this list. They are wildly responsible with their finances and life in general. Never to be caught un-rich. They probably have 5 years of salary saved up so they are never worried about getting paid or not.
3) Grace to grass employees:
Their major tell-tale sign is they stop ordering expensive food. These sets of people start to eat only one gala and small coke for lunch which is a step down from their usual expensive meals and lavish living. This is a perfect example of what their struggle looks like.
4) Already broke crew:
Their motto before payday is “I am already broke”, their running expense is two times their income. These workers never seem to have money at any point in time. Like never!
5) Constantly checking for alert gang:
On the agreed salary day, you can catch them constantly checking their phone every 5 minutes. At every interval, they are logging in to their bank app, calling their banks customer care or running to the atm to check their balance. Our theory is they used their last cash to come to work that day and if no show, they have to trek home.
6) Rumor has it:
“I heard Gtbank has network issues so we can’t get paid today.” “They want to pay us minimum wage so there will be a delay.” Any kind of speculation surrounding payment, they are behind it. They are prophets of salary doom.
7) You must save ministry:
They always remind everyone about the office contributory scheme or ajo. They send not so subtle reminders like ” Hello everyone. This is salary week. Make sure you pay your own contribution. 🙂” The passive-aggressive smiley is a subtle way of telling you that they will and can cut you if you don’t pay up. You definitely don’t want to mess with them.
Always encouraging you to buy multiple items on credit because they will soon pay you. They literally force some of their goods into your face and if that doesn’t work, they employ guilt to serve their agenda. They are the enemies of progress where progress = savings goal.
9) Business people:
They always have a business that can give you three times your income around when you get paid. From MMM to GNLD to bringing three people, that’s their specialty. They are actually agents of the devil sent to suck your hard-earned naira.
They complain about why the salary isn’t paid per week instead. How the work doesn’t even tally with the salary. They also complain about how they can’t come to work tomorrow if they don’t get alert today.