5 Nigerian Government Poverty Alleviation Schemes That’ll Vex You

October 28, 2020

President Buhari’s last televised message to Nigerians has been living in my head, rent-free. Not only did he ignore most of what he was supposed to talk about, he somehow used most of the time to brag about how much his government has done to alleviate poverty in Nigeria. Which is insane because:

This happened in 2018 btw. 3 years after Buhari came into power.

Buhari’s constant bragging made me look up some of the poverty alleviation schemes that have been initiated by members of the government since he came into power in 2015. Here are 5 I found.

1) That time the First Lady of Bauchi State distributed bags of pure water to women as start-up capital.

Yes. In June 2020, Dr Aisha Bala Muhammed empowered some women in the state by giving them 10 bags of pure water each so they could start businesses with. To understand how insane this is, a bag of water costs like N100. You do the math.

2) That time a member of the Zamfara House of Representatives distributed basins, coal irons, and detergent to the youths.

Kabiru Amadu, popularly referred to as Mai-Palace, did this in July 2020 as a way to empower the youths in his constituency.

3) That time the minister of humanitarian affairs, disaster management and social development, Sadiya Umar Farouk, flagged off a Federal Government Special Grant of N20,000 to 700,000 rural women.

Financially empowered with N20,000? Girl…

4) That time the Nigerian Presidency’s Twitter account announced that payments of N30,000 were ongoing to 330,000 artisans across Nigeria in an Artisan Support Scheme but this happened:

Girl, I…

5) That time they gave out tricycles and moped scooters.

This is funny and infuriating because whenever Nigerian youth do exceptional shit in world-class fields (e.g. Paystack’s recent acquisition), the government tries to take credit for it.

But keke napeps are their idea of youth empowerment. Tueh.

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Astor George

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

December 3, 2020

Don’t let their cuteness deceive you; kids are crackheads. They’ll do the weirdest shit and then when you catch them, they’ll start acting like they’ve been framed. If you want to save yourself a lot of cleaning and embarrassment, keep these seven things away from your kids. 1. Powder Children see powder and immediately think […]

December 3, 2020

On Sunday, November 30th, 2020, many Nigerians woke up to the sad news that over 43 rice farmers in communities near Borno State, Nigeria, had been killed by Boko Haram insurgents. While the government has claimed that Boko Haram has been “technically defeated”, the group continues to carry out terrorist attacks, especially in the northeastern […]

December 3, 2020

Yes, you have a crush, but are you your crush’s crush? These are the questions. To catch your crush’s attention, you have to be different and think outside the box, because many people are doing the same thing you’re doing. Here are 5 easy ways to enrapture your crush. 1. Be rich You thought it […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

More from Citizen

December 3, 2020

On Sunday, November 30th, 2020, many Nigerians woke up to the sad news that over 43 rice farmers in communities near Borno State, Nigeria, had been killed by Boko Haram insurgents. While the government has claimed that Boko Haram has been “technically defeated”, the group continues to carry out terrorist attacks, especially in the northeastern […]

December 2, 2020

Adeoye Mercy Abosede of the African Action Congress will be contesting in the Lagos East Senatorial bye-elections which is scheduled to hold this Saturday, December 5, 2020. The by-election became a necessity after Senator Bayo Osinowo, who represented Lagos East Senatorial district at the senatedied died following a brief illness. A by-election is an election […]

Buhari
December 1, 2020

President Muhammadu Buhari rode to office on the major campaign promise that his administration will put a final end to the Boko Haram insurgency. However, on Sunday, November 9th 2020, many Nigerians woke up to the news that suspected Boko Haram insurgents had killed more than 43 rice farmers in Garin Kwashebe, a rice farming […]

Nigerian Army testifies SARS panel
November 29, 2020

The Nigerian Army has shared their testimony twice at the Lagos State Judicial Panel of Inquiry and Restitution For Victims of SARS Related Abuses. At Zikoko Citizen, we have been following the “Lagos SARS panel” ever since the panel was inaugurated, and we have also been present at the panel hearing on the two occasions […]

Cross River by-election
November 27, 2020

There will be by-elections in Cross River and some states other in Nigeria on December 5, 2020, and we’re counting down to the elections. We have written about everything you need to know about the by-elections and all the candidates in the Bayelsa West and Central Senatorial by-election. In Cross River state, the death of […]

bayelsa by-election
November 26, 2020

A few weeks, ago we wrote about the by-elections that will be taking place on December 5, 2020, including the most important things you need to know. In addition to that, we will be writing about the candidates in the Bayelsa West and Bayelsa Central senatorial by-elections. This is because it is important for you […]

UK Sanctions Nigeria
November 24, 2020

Yesterday, November 24th 2020, the UK parliament, at the Westminister Hall debated e-petition 554150, relating to Nigeria and the sanctions regime. The debate was led by Theresa Villiers MP, and it suggested sanctions for members of the Nigerian Government and police officers who have been involved in human rights abuses. The parliamentary debate has generated […]

Nigeria recession
November 23, 2020

Recession, palliative, ad-hoc committee, ultra-modern, bistro — you can’t claim to be a Nigerian if you’ve never heard these words. They are so popular, we wrote about them. Speaking of recession, on Saturday, November 22nd, 2020, the Nigerian Bureau of Statistics reported that Nigeria’s GDP (Gross Domestic Product) reduced by 3.62% from September to October […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X