Read This Before You Travel Up North

It’s a new year and I’m here to make noise about you people getting off your asses and seeing more of Nigeria. At least before they give you your Canada visa and you tell us ‘e go be‘ you should see what the tea plantations of Gembu look like and just how blue Wikki warm spring is. The teacher’s daughter in me could never miss out on an opportunity to teach you people good manners. So here are a couple of things I thought you should know before you head up to Northern Nigeria.

Everyone in Northern Nigeria is not Hausa.

Please don’t attempt to use the three phrases you learned from your only Hausa friend while talking to a Margi person

The whole of Northern Nigeria isn’t being ravaged by Boko Haram or herdsmen, so don’t listen to your friends that keep shouting it isn’t safe.

That doesn’t mean you should just skip into a state like Borno casually o, do your googles. Read up on the latest news reports coming from there.

Try to respect yourself.

If you are in a town where they have rules like once it’s past six everyone shouldn’t wear slippers again, then don’t wear the slippers. If you can’t do that then don’t go there.

You know how you call all Northern looking men Aboki in your city? Keep that nonsense there.

It’s just plain disrespectful.

Learn how to keep your ignorance to yourself.

If you thought Northern Nigeria was all brown grass and cows, there is no need to let all the locals you meet know that you didn’t know any better.

Not everyone is Muslim, a very large percent of Northerners are actually Christians.

So except you are sure someone is Muslim, keep your Assalamualaikum to yourself.

Google maps works great in cities like Abuja, Lagos and Port Harcourt but will betray you when you find yourself in a village in Jos.

So let the locals show you around, and if you have money MONEY just get a guide.

The popular places like Yankari and Kajuru Castle are great but there’s so much more to see.

Going to Abuja and Kaduna ten times doesn’t count as exploring the north.

It’s ridiculously beautiful and you are going to ask yourself several times why it took you so long to come see it.

Seriously what are you waiting for?