Read This Before You Travel Up North

January 10, 2019
It’s a new year and I’m here to make noise about you people getting off your asses and seeing more of Nigeria. At least before they give you your Canada visa and you tell us ‘e go be‘ you should see what the tea plantations of Gembu look like and just how blue Wikki warm spring is. The teacher’s daughter in me could never miss out on an opportunity to teach you people good manners. So here are a couple of things I thought you should know before you head up to Northern Nigeria.

Everyone in Northern Nigeria is not Hausa.

Please don’t attempt to use the three phrases you learned from your only Hausa friend while talking to a Margi person

The whole of Northern Nigeria isn’t being ravaged by Boko Haram or herdsmen, so don’t listen to your friends that keep shouting it isn’t safe.

That doesn’t mean you should just skip into a state like Borno casually o, do your googles. Read up on the latest news reports coming from there.

Try to respect yourself.

If you are in a town where they have rules like once it’s past six everyone shouldn’t wear slippers again, then don’t wear the slippers. If you can’t do that then don’t go there.

You know how you call all Northern looking men Aboki in your city? Keep that nonsense there.

It’s just plain disrespectful.

Learn how to keep your ignorance to yourself.

If you thought Northern Nigeria was all brown grass and cows, there is no need to let all the locals you meet know that you didn’t know any better.

Not everyone is Muslim, a very large percent of Northerners are actually Christians.

So except you are sure someone is Muslim, keep your Assalamualaikum to yourself.

Google maps works great in cities like Abuja, Lagos and Port Harcourt but will betray you when you find yourself in a village in Jos.

So let the locals show you around, and if you have money MONEY just get a guide.

The popular places like Yankari and Kajuru Castle are great but there’s so much more to see.

Going to Abuja and Kaduna ten times doesn’t count as exploring the north.

It’s ridiculously beautiful and you are going to ask yourself several times why it took you so long to come see it.

Seriously what are you waiting for?

If you want evidence that northern Nigeria is not just brown grass and cows before you go, then you need to see Up North. Watch the trailer below.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

More from Chopist

November 16, 2021

If it’s creamy, icy and from Cold Stone, then you can bet your ten fingers on these six feelings. But…only ice cream lovers can totally understand. 1. Calmness That co-worker who always seems calm even under stress is probably a big ice cream fan. They won’t tell you the secret of course. 2. Creamtastic What […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X