It’s a new year and I’m here to make noise about you people getting off your asses and seeing more of Nigeria. At least before they give you your Canada visa and you tell us ‘e go be‘ you should see what the tea plantations of Gembu look like and just how blue Wikki warm spring is. The teacher’s daughter in me could never miss out on an opportunity to teach you people good manners. So here are a couple of things I thought you should know before you head up to Northern Nigeria.
Everyone in Northern Nigeria is not Hausa.
Please don’t attempt to use the three phrases you learned from your only Hausa friend while talking to a Margi person
The whole of Northern Nigeria isn’t being ravaged by Boko Haram or herdsmen, so don’t listen to your friends that keep shouting it isn’t safe.
That doesn’t mean you should just skip into a state like Borno casually o, do your googles. Read up on the latest news reports coming from there.
Try to respect yourself.
If you are in a town where they have rules like once it’s past six everyone shouldn’t wear slippers again, then don’t wear the slippers. If you can’t do that then don’t go there.
You know how you call all Northern looking men Aboki in your city? Keep that nonsense there.
It’s just plain disrespectful.
Learn how to keep your ignorance to yourself.
If you thought Northern Nigeria was all brown grass and cows, there is no need to let all the locals you meet know that you didn’t know any better.
Not everyone is Muslim, a very large percent of Northerners are actually Christians.
So except you are sure someone is Muslim, keep your Assalamualaikum to yourself.
Google maps works great in cities like Abuja, Lagos and Port Harcourt but will betray you when you find yourself in a village in Jos.
So let the locals show you around, and if you have money MONEY just get a guide.
The popular places like Yankari and Kajuru Castle are great but there’s so much more to see.
Going to Abuja and Kaduna ten times doesn’t count as exploring the north.
It’s ridiculously beautiful and you are going to ask yourself several times why it took you so long to come see it.
Seriously what are you waiting for?
If you want evidence that northern Nigeria is not just brown grass and cows before you go, then you need to see Up North. Watch the trailer below.
After waxing poetic about the versatility of yam last week, someone pointed out to me that plantain deserved the same bragging rights. Spoiler alert my favourite form of plantain is dodo so you already know what’s going to top this list but there are at least eight other ways to enjoy plantain. Boiled Plantain You […]
Long-distance relationships can be tough and tricky to navigate. There’s a lot that goes into making a long-distance relationship work such as trust, consistent communication, spontaneity and the willingness to make sacrifices. We spoke with a few Nigerians in long-distance relationships about the ups and downs of having their partners live far away from them. […]
When it comes to period products, there are a lot of things that need to change. A lot. So, we made a list with the help of the people of Twitter 1) Price They are too expensive. Period products should be free, because nobody chose to have their period. These products are essential, and nobody […]
The idea of lifelong friendships sounds nice, but it doesn’t always happen. Friends fall out or drift apart all the time for myriads of reasons. For some people, it happens because their friend got married and decided that they didn’t want to be friends anymore. This is a lot more common than you’d think, so […]
Admit it. You’ve always wanted to know which of the OG Nollywood campus babes you are. Now you can, just take this quiz and find out which of these bad bitches you are on the inside. For more like this, check out Zikoko Memes
Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]
It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]
While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:
Running for over a decade, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire remains one of the most beloved shows in Nigerian history, with many of us fantasizing about appearing on it and winning the grand prize of ₦10 million. Well, we gathered 15 real questions from the show to test how you would have done. Go […]
Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:
Last year, one of the most divisive swallows, Semo, sat down with us in a bid to try and clear its tainted name. It didn’t go well. Now, with Fufu’s ongoing PR nightmare, the unassuming swallow is trying to do the same. In this interview, Fufu shares how it feels about being relentlessly dragged by […]
Food plays an important in relationships. For many people, food is their love language, and for many others, food is a strong determining factor when they choose a life partner. So, to avoid “Had I Known”, don’t cook these foods for a person you’re not married to. 1. Pounded Yam Omo, it’s for your own […]
Yes, Nigeria is renowned for her Jollof. But there is a lot more food in Nigeria that foreigners do not get to taste when they visit. We are changing that. If you are visiting Nigeria, please request for any of the foods on this list and experience the wonders of the motherland. Here are 15 […]
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Admit it. You’ve always wanted to know which of the OG Nollywood campus babes you are. Now you can, just take this quiz and find out which of these bad bitches you are on the inside. For more like this, check out Zikoko Memes
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