There are two constants in my life. There’s the fact that every week, unfailingly my mother will ask me if I’ve found a husband yet. Then there’s the fact that every month, I spend a ludicrous amount of money I earn on food. On the plus side though, I get to make lists like this.
So here are the best food places I checked out in April, that deserve all your coins. You are welcome.
The only type of ice-cream you deserve.
You work hard from Monday to Friday. You live in Lagos and spend half of your time just sitting in traffic. You’ve been on a diet for a year and a half now, it’s not showing on the scale. So whenever you want to indulge in ice cream, you deserve the premium stuff. And you can only get it from one place in Lagos – Hans and Rene.
I haven’t been to any other ice-cream place asides from Hans and Rene since they opened their doors to the public in 2015. Because I like the finer things in life.
Location: 1a Ozumba Mbadiwe Ave, Victoria Island, Lagos
You should try: Cherry Amarena
The most consistent steak sandwich in Lagos.
Over the past year and a half, I’ve probably been to the backyard at least half a dozen times. And every time I’ve been there, I’ve ordered the exact same thing: Their steak sandwich and a TBY lemonade. It has tasted exactly the same every single time, and with how mad Nigeria has been moving lately, it’s comforting to know that the sky will always be blue, water will always be wet, and the steak sandwich at The Backyard will always be a cheesy, yummy, goodness.
Location: 4b Musa Yar’ Adua St, Victoria Island.
You should try: The steak sandwich, duh. Their wings are also pretty fire.
The best strawberry smoothie I’ve ever had.
I didn’t know it was possible to mess up a strawberry smoothie until I tried the shake at Eric/Maison Kayser and realized no strawberry smoothie I’ve ever had could compare. Food Shack’s comes pretty close. But none could compare.
I also tried out a pizza so forgettable I don’t remember the flavour. To be fair to them, my favourite pizza place is Pizzeriah. And it’s hard to compete with Pizzeriah.
Location: 864 Bishop Aboyade Cole St, Victoria Island
You should try: The strawberry shake first of course. But also check out their pastry display.
An actual frozen margarita.
A strawberry margarita is my favourite cocktail. Here’s how to make one. You fill a blender with ice. Pour in some tequila and triple sec. Add strawberries and limeade, then blend. Simple enough right? You’d think so, but I’ve had so many bad margaritas in Lagos, I usually tend to stir clear.
So I have no idea why I decided to give one a try at the bar of an arcade. It turned out to be the best margarita I’ve had in a very long time.
Location: TwinWaters, Okunde Bluewaters scheme off, Remi Olowude St, Eti-Osa, Lekki
You should also try: Their wings.
Yes, pineapple belongs on pizza.
I don’t care what anyone has to say, including the Italians, but as far as I’m concerned, pineapple belongs on pizza. Fight me. If you always hated pineapple on Pizza, I’m willing to bet half of this month’s salary that La Taverna’s ‘Lagos Street’ pizza could convert you.
Location: 48 Balarabe Musa Cres, Victoria Island
You should also try: The Smoke Lamb Ravioli. Disclaimer: Its been two years since I tried this. But it changed my life
Quarter to party jollof rice.
I’ve never gotten the hype around White House. Every single time I found myself there while in Uni, it was a disappointing experience. But my VRSUS adventures had me going to check out their Jollof rice. And aside from party Jollof, they might have the best Jollof I’ve had this year.
Location: 9 Chapel St, Yaba.
You should also try: Boyin swears by their amala.
Starch and Owo
I’ve never thought to go looking for Delta food in Lagos. But this episode of VRSUS had me doing so. And in the process, I discovered the gem that is Delta Pot. I’d give them an E for effort with their banga, because they left the banga stick in too long. But their Owo was spot on. Even my mother would have approved.
Location: 18b Fola Osibo Rd, Lekki Phase I.
You should try: The Owo with smoked fresh fish and nothing else.
What to avoid? Danfo Bistro’s ‘Maroush’
I love food, just as much I hate to spend money. Every time I get a debit alert I feel something inside of me die. So as you can imagine, nothing hurts me more than when I don’t get the value for my money on anything I spend on. Most especially food.
As my good deed for the week, I decided to throw in the absolute worst thing I had this month into this list. So that you and your wallet can steer clear.
Location:2 Alexander Rd, Ikoyi.
You could try: Their Zobo sangria is actually not bad.