13 Eating Habits Of A Nigerian Sociopath

May 8, 2020

There are many sociopaths walking amongst us, and it’s not usually easy to identify them. So, in a bid to help weed them out, we’ve gathered 13 eating habits for you to look out for. If you know anyone that does more than 7 things on this list, it’s time to call the police.

1. They eat the first and last slices of bread.

There is no reason for any sane person to do this.

2. They prefer firm dodo to soft dodo.

If you prefer the first picture to the second, just report yourself to police.

3. They eat shaki with their eyes wide open.

Don’t you fear God.

4. They actually drink yellow garri.

You’re clearly a cultist.

5. They put their soup and swallow on the same plate.

WHAT IS THE REASON?

6. They genuinely like semo and wheat.

How many people have you killed already?

7. They still dip their bread in tea.

At your big age?

8. They actually enjoy eating fruitcake during Christmas.

NOTHING should have these many raisins. EVER.

9. Their favourite Indomie flavour is NOT the green one.

You cannot be trusted.

10. They choose to eat Good Morning cornflakes.

Is your tongue broken?

11. They think puff puff is the best part of small chops.

HOW?

12. They eat raw tomatoes unprovoked.

Please, go get help.

13. They eat agbalumos like this:

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 5, 2019

It’s a jungle out there. Most especially in Nigerian airports.  If they don’t delay your flight it, an airport official will take it upon themselves to provoke you. There are very few things you can do to survive a Nigerian airport. It’ll always get the best of you, but here are a few things you […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

More from Chopist

November 16, 2021

If it’s creamy, icy and from Cold Stone, then you can bet your ten fingers on these six feelings. But…only ice cream lovers can totally understand. 1. Calmness That co-worker who always seems calm even under stress is probably a big ice cream fan. They won’t tell you the secret of course. 2. Creamtastic What […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X