There have been many James Bonds since it began in 1952, but which James Bond are you?
-
-
Being an Airbnb host means having to interact with different kinds of people, some great, others unsavoury. I spoke to four Airbnb hosts about their experiences and how they coped during the pandemic.
Arike
Being an Airbnb host in Nigeria is quite an interesting experience. Many times, we have great guests who aren’t a bother. They don’t send you any messages until they want to hand over the keys. And then we have the ones who send you messages in the middle of the night. Or the ones who expect a porter to carry their suitcases for them. One time, we had a guest who trashed the house terribly; used condoms, weed and dirty plates were littered all over the home. We had to block out an entire day just to get it back in order. Of course, they never got their security deposit back. We also place them on our banned list, to make sure we never let them back.
2020 was quite an interesting year. Despite COVID, we still managed to be fully booked. While Airbnb is our main marketing tool, it’s best to be on multiple platforms, work with local agents and advertise aggressively on Instagram. We had guests who were stuck there, others who were renovating their homes. In all, 2020 wasn’t a bad year.
Shalewa
I decided to stop hosting in January 2020. I found the experience to be financially rewarding but STRESSFUL. My guests were mostly people visiting from the UK or US, staying three weeks to one month. Occasionally, I’d have “Ikeja boys”, I assume they were just people looking for a place to have sex LMAO.
The worst part about hosting was that I couldn’t do much if/when guests misbehaved. Guests from Nigeria usually booked with virtual cards, unlike foreign guests who booked credit/debit cards, so if they wanted to spoil things, there were no financial consequences. The first guest I had, a white girl and Nigerian boyfriend smoked in the apartment, despite a strict no-smoking policy. They even left burn marks in my sheets! I ended up having to give the next guest a discount because the place reeked of smoke.
Another knuckleheaded guest tried to break the padlock to the wardrobe where I kept my personal stuff. They probably thought I stored valuables there instead of tampons and underwear. I reported to Airbnb, nothing happened. I finally ended my tenancy and moved back fully to the US in January 2020. I considered keeping it because the money wasn’t bad but I’m glad I didn’t because 2020 happened. I would have just cried.
Ade
In my experience, guests can be very annoying. To be a host, you have t be ready to listen and tolerate different attitudes. The rules for our apartment are simple and clear: no smoking inside the apartment and no parties or hangouts, but many times we’ve had to remove guests who broke the rules. We even had one guest who brought a DJ to a full party.
2020 was quite rough for us. Our apartment was empty throughout the lockdown, so we were running at a complete loss. Things didn’t start picking up again until November, December.
Ejiro
Generally, I’ve had good experiences with guests. Some are difficult, some are easy. Some of the guests damage stuff and leave without informing the host. We’ve also had a few needy guests. And some guests can be absolutely pigs. Unimaginable levels of filth, using bedside tables as ashtrays and staining it beyond recognition. Some have left heaps of trash and unwashed plates. One guest even wrecked the TV and Venetian blinds, leaving cigarette odour lingering in the room, despite the no-smoking rule. It was a complete mess.
2020 wasn’t a bad year at all. In fact, it was good. During the pandemic, the bookings from Airbnb reduced but we had a lot of booking on other platforms. During the original lockdown, a guest stayed for three months.
Read: 6 Young Nigerians Talk About Mental Health Medication
[donation]
-
We know you’ve always wondered which character you’d be if you were in Tinsel. Here’s your chance to find out!
-
According to the World Health Organisation, one in four Nigerians has a mental illness. The same health body also estimates that one in four people globally will have a mental illness at some point in their lives. Nigeria has about 300 psychiatrists catering to its teeming 200 million-strong population. With statistics such as these, many young people requiring mental health care are unable to access it, exacerbating their condition.
To highlight the importance of seeking professional mental health care, I spoke to five young Nigerians with mental health conditions about their experiences with medication.
Tobi, Male, 25
I was in school for an important exam and I found out I couldn’t read or remember anything I had read. It was quite difficult to fall asleep and I woke up tired and frustrated, which frustrated me even more. I knew I was terribly scared of the exam but I assumed everyone was scared too. The anxiety disorder and depression diagnosis came in 2019 and I was placed on a regimen of drugs, including anti-hypertensives.
They made me feel crappy. While I felt unhappy and anxious before, I suddenly felt super sleepy during classes and lacked the mental strength to do anything. I felt like a robot. A weak and tired robot with no happiness or sadness. I cut it out after a while and embraced the anxiety, despite my exams. I still get memory lapses and mad anxiety while at work. After a while, a friend recommended I visit the Yaba Neuro-psychiatric hospital and was placed on a different regimen. These drugs made me feel demotivated, groggy and tired. I intend to go back to complain about these side effects.
Big Daddy, Male, 26
I had no choice but to go see a psychiatrist. It was either that or killing myself, and I really wasn’t in the mood to die. I decided to go to a psychiatric hospital in Calabar. I was prescribed some drugs and we’ve had to adjust the dosage over time. I started with 100mg daily, reduced to 50mg after a while, then down to 25mg only when I needed it. But the Lekki Tollgate incident happened and messed up my psyche and I’m back to 25mg daily. It was a really mentally disturbing period.
The side effects were another story. Increased lethargy, loss of libido, fatigue, weight gain, insomnia, irritability. Eventually, my body adjusted and the side effects dwindled by the day. Now, I’m seeing the benefits of the medication, the most distinct of which is my mood stability. Mood swings occur less frequently and my anxiety is much more manageable.
The meds also helped me in several other ways, in the short term. For example, I become very anxious when I’m flying. Taking a pill of my meds before my flight reduced my anxiety drastically while in the air. I also sleep much better. Before the meds, my sleep pattern was horrible. I used to be able to sleep maybe 3-4 hours and I’d spend all day lethargic. Not anymore. Even beyond my mental health, I still see other benefits. For example, one of the drugs I was prescribed for depression also treats irritable bowel syndrome, which I’ve always had. I have the double benefit of fixing my head and stopping my stomach from killing me with one drug.
Reni, Female, 31
I had my first major depressive episode in 2010. At first, I was in denial and tried to deal with it myself. I eventually sought treatement in 2015 and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I began some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy but it started feel like homework so I stopped. I didn’t get a prescription for drugs because I was moving to a new city and didn’t want to handle all the side effects of the drugs while settling in. I eventually got a prescription in 2018.
Depression is HARD. It makes everyday feel like climbing a mountain. Even little things like eating become difficult and don’t get me started on the suicide ideation. This is why medication is important. The meds make depression less heavy and life easier, generally.
Depression is a never-ending journey. In 2018, I had another major depressive/anxiety episode. It was so bad that I had to go to the doctor’s office for an emergency appointment. I just wanted them to give me all the drugs LOL.
The medication isn’t a magical fix though. It takes time to kick in, and some of the initial side effects are nasty. It took us a few months to get a dosage that was working for me. When we did, it was like the most extreme ends of the emotional spectrum were gone. On one hand, I wasn’t misrable or feeling unable or unwilling to exist, which was good, but on the other hand, I felt like I could not cry. For more than a year, I didn’t cry once, and usually, I’m quite the crier LOL. On the opposite side of the spectrum, it felt like my ability to be excited was capped at 75%. When I was eventually coming off the drugs, it was so uncomfotable. I used to get brain zaps for two months, which are actually a common side effect.
Kim, Female, 21
I’ve always know that I’ve struggled with depression but I was offically diagnosed a few months ago. I had to go get help when I knew I was in a bad place. I mean, I was cutting and constantly abusing myself. I was very close to ending it all. I just knew that if I didn’t get help, I was going to kill myself. Thankfully, a friend I had just met made me see that help wasn’t so hard to get.
When I first started medicating, it wasn’t all calm o. In fact, I started feeling more depressed. I even felt like overdosing on the drugs before I realised that the hospital actually gave me just enough for a short period and it wasn’t enough to overdose on. After a week or so, I started feeling better. I can only describe it as suddenly feeling tranquil. There used to be a constant raging storm in my head but gradually, it began to calm. I started feeling more sane and I could think more clearly. I just felt like I was alive once again. However, I’m scared that I might have to live my life taking these drugs. One time, I forgot to use my meds and I could feel myself slipping again. It was scary.
Overall, it was the best decision I ever made. I was on the edge, losing so much of myself. The drugs are helping. They aren’t the ultimate fix but it’s a great start. Super happy I had my friend who made sure I got the help I really needed.
Sadiq, Male, 26
The anxiety became crippling and consuming. It became too much. Every second of the day, I was anxious; too anxious to pick my calls, doubly anxious if someone yelled my name. I knew it was too much to bear when, one day, someone was being yelled at beside and I instantly coiled up. People thought I used to sleep late because I wanted to, but the real reason was I was always too anxious at night.
Considering the country we’re in, the process of getting a diagnosis and medication was surprisingly easy. I spoke to a friend who already went through the process and he put me on to Yaba Neuro-psychiatric Hospital, popularly known as Yaba Left. I grew up hearing wild stories about it and I was worried for a but it went smoothly and the doctors were super nice.
My experience with medication has been fairly good. I’ve been sleeping well and I honestly didn’t know I could live like this. At first, I had side effects like low libido. All of a sudden, it skyrocketed. In fact, someone I was sleeping with at the time thought I was a monster because I kept going without an orgasm. She didn’t know I wanted to but just couldn’t. Thankfully, it’s back to normal now. Overall, I’ve seen great improvements in my interactions with people and my quality of life has shot up immensely.
Sarah, Female, 25
Mentally, I felt overwhelmed, like there were invisible hands around my neck choking me, and not in a fun way. I felt like a burden on people, like I dampened everything; conversations, fun etc. Everything was paradoxically underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time.
A friend talked me into getting help a few days ago and I was prescribed some medication by a psychiatric hospital in Ibadan. Although I’ve only been medicating for a few days, I’ve seen some changes already. I don’t shake as much as I used to, I’m a lot less jumpy. I feel more clear-headed and organised. It’s not like the drugs don’t have side effects; I’ve not had any appetite since yesterday and the night-time drugs made me feel drowsy initially, and I was also horny in a weird way. Still, the benefits outweigh the negatives for me and I’m glad I got help.
Zikoko cares about your mental health. Reach out to non-profits such as MentallyAware Nigeria here to talk to a mental health professional today. You could also call their emergency line on 08091116264 or follow @MentallyAwareNG on Twitter.
Read: 4 Nigerian Men Talk About Their Struggles With Depression
[donation]
-
It might seem like 48 hours is a ridiculously short period of time, but a ton of awesome things can happen to you in that time. Here are five amazing things that can happen to you in that time, if you stay sharp.
1. Winning the lottery
You know how they say millionaires aren’t made overnight? Obviously, people who said that haven’t met lottery winners. You can just sleep and wake up and find out you’ve won the lottery.
2. Travelling abroad
You don’t know, maybe one day your partner will just surprise you with a trip abroad for your birthday.
3. Your crush says yes to you
You could ask your crush out and they say yes to you immediately. What a stroke of good luck!
4. Win a scholarship
Imagine you just open your eyes and saw an email that you’ve received a scholarship you’ve been hoping for. Omo!
5. Being upgraded to a higher DStv package than you paid for
Yup. You read that right. With the DStv Step Up promo, all active and disconnected DStv Compact, Confam and Yanga customers get the golden opportunity to get a boost to a higher DStv package. All you have to do is pay for a package one step above your current package and automatically get a boost to the next higher package within 48 hours. Awesome, yeah? Don’t sleep on this promo o.
-
So you think you know Nigerian literature? Take this quiz to prove it.
-
In the last episode of So You Don’t Have To, Astor almost accidentally sacrificed his destiny for a few million bucks. The jazz dude also promised to end his life if he “used him to play” so we’re patiently waiting to hear Astor’s final coughs. I wondered what drove people to do jazz for money, and like MMM, I figured that there were truly some situations that could make you want to receive money from the spirits of the underworld. Here are five situations where you might consider doing money rituals.
1. When you’re broke as hell
Ever been so broke that you began to doubt your own existence? At this point, it is clear that there’s only one option left for you: money rituals.
2. When you have a sibling you’re no longer using
Your siblings are annoying as fuck? You’re not the first. Why not put that sibling to good use and use them to make a few million bucks?
3. When Valentine’s day is coming
You want to do Valentine’s package for your partner but your account balance can’t even buy singlet and boxers? Do money ritual and buy that king one small Mercedes for him to be managing.
4. When rent is due
And your landlord/landlady doesn’t want to collect knacks as payment anymore. Do rituals.
5. When your salary finishes at the beginning of the month
And you’ve even started spending the next month’s salary in your head? You have no choice but to do rituals. The only other option is to eat breeze for dinner.
-
DNA testing has been all the rage in recent weeks. Some things might happen that should make you suspect the paternity of your child. If the child does any of these things, make your way to the DNA testing center ASAP. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
1. The child eats fufu
Any child that can put that smelly morsel in their mouth is definitely no child of yours. Run the DNA test. (If you eat fufu, I advise you run the DNA test on yourself too).
2. The child is rude to you
How can your own child be rude to you? Do DNA tests sharp sharp so you can help them find their real father.
3. The child looks like your wife’s bestie
I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but you might want to look into this.
4. The child is smart
Meanwhile, you were constantly last in class. Run that DNA test.
5. The child can sing
But your voice sounds like a frog’s. Definitely not your child. Run the test.
Read: 8 Reasons Why You Should Get A Pet Instead Of A Child
[donation]
-
Every so often, you come across a tweet from someone who just saw a video/picture of a cute baby saying “Ugh I want a baby.” Do I even need to tell you how much of a bad idea this is? Will you really let baby fever lead you down the path of school fees, stress and bills? Rather than burying yourself in a lifetime of stress from children, let me give you 8 reasons why you should just adopt a pet instead.
1. Pets don’t need school fees
If you’ve seen how much school fees are these days, condoms won’t be far from your reach. There’s no reason why a dog should go to school, unless you want to use it to chase the teacher that flogged your head in SS1. Or will your dog do masters?
2. Pets don’t cry endlessly through the night
Have you ever met babies? Their mission in this life is to keep you awake constantly through the night. With a cat, you never have to worry about things like that.
3. Pets don’t need constant care and attention
Why are children so needy and clingy? They’re always wanting something or the other. Once you’ve given your dog food for the day, they won’t disturb you again. Dogs 3 – Babies 0.
4. Pets aren’t ungrateful
Human children will grow up and say you never did enough for them. But pets? Even if its eba you have, they will eat it and tell you thank you.
5. Pets can bring you the remote
I know you’ve been thinking, “If I don’t have a child, who will I send to bring the remote for me, like my ancestors have done?” Well, I’m glad to tell you that your dog can fetch you the remote too. Dogs 4 – Babies 0.
6. Pets will not grow up and leave your house
Human children will grow up and leave your house, leaving you lonely. But pets? None of that. They’re with you till they die. Or you die.
7. Pets don’t ask for pocket money
As long as there is food at home, a pet is happy. But you see those human children? Nothing is ever enough.
8. Pets will not disgrace you
You can be on your own one day when you’ll receive a call from your child’s school that your son, Ajigijaga, has broken somebody’s head. Avoid all these stories by adopting a pet instead.
With these few points of mine, I hope I’ve been able to convince you and not confuse you that pets > children. Thank you.
[donation]
-
At some point in every man’s life, he has to deal with the fact that his body is changing. Of all the changes, the earliest and most obvious of them is the receding hairline. Often a subject of jokes, receding hairlines are commonplace among men. I spoke to four Nigerian men about how they really felt about their changing hairlines.
Ik, 27
My hairline started receding in secondary school when I was in JSS 2. My friend pointed it out for the first time then. He also made fun of my forehead. I was pretty shook at the time although I didn’t let it affect my confidence. I found it to be quite annoying when people made fun of my big forehead.
It also means I wear caps a lot, to try to hide my hairline but I’d say I’m immune to jokes about hairlines.
A. Murtala, 28
When I first noticed my hairline was receding two years ago, I felt like life was being unfair to me. Then I realized that there was nothing I could do about it. I used to try and make jokes about it but deep down, people’s jokes used to pain me.
You see so many people with a full head of hair and they truly don’t know what they have, meanwhile, you’re here, chilling with your desert encroachment which no amount of water can heal. I’m constantly wearing caps and have opted to go on a low-cut because there’s simply not enough hair for any other hairstyle LOL. Very soon, I’m making the transition to skin cut for life. Thank God small beard dey.
Malik, 26
Considering how much hair I used to have from secondary school to uni, I was quite shocked when my hairline started to reverse. It started in 2019 but became fully disturbing in 2020. It gives me serious anxiety because people used to compliment my hair a lot.
Now I just keep my hair low, to avoid embarrassing myself. When my hair grows, it becomes quite obvious so I have to wear a cap everywhere. I get a feeling that when I go out, I and my hairline are the centre of attention so I try to avoid showing it out. Funny enough, my partner prefers I keep my hair. She loves it because it’s curly, so I’m of two minds.
Kayode, 24
My hairline first started sliding back about ten years ago, while I was in secondary school. At first, it was just the corners at first, then the entire frontline started following suit. At first, I wasn’t bothered about it because I thought it was normal until a lot of my peers started calling my attention to it, making me feel like I was abnormal.
Talks about going bald have a way of dampening your mood, especially as a young man. Eventually, I got used to the jokes and it was made easier by the fact that I had a few strands of grey hair, so I just rolled with the old man jokes.
Read: 7 Nigerian Married Men Discuss Cheating On Their Wives
[donation]