• Finding perfect Happy New Year wishes to send to the people in your life shouldn’t feel like a chore. Whether you’re texting your best friend, posting on your WhatsApp status, sending a formal message to your boss, or writing something deeply romantic to your partner, the right words can set the tone for their entire year. 

    Like with did with our Merry Christmas wishes list, we’ve done the heavy lifting of crafting over 250 Happy New Year wishes across every category and relationship that’ll help you express exactly what you feel this festive season. 

    Short and Sweet Happy New Year Wishes

    Sometimes, the most powerful New Year messages don’t need paragraphs to touch someone’s heart. These short and sweet Happy New Year wishes are brief but perfect for when you want to say something meaningful without overwhelming the moment. 

    • Happy New Year, my dear! I’m wishing you a year where every door you knock on opens and every dream you chase comes true. You deserve all the good things coming your way.
    • As we step into this new year, I just want you to know how much you mean to me. May this year bring you peace, joy, and countless reasons to smile. Here’s to your best year yet!
    • Happy New Year! I’m praying this is the year everything finally clicks for you, the year your hard work pays off and your patience is rewarded. Keep believing, it’s coming.
    • Wishing you a blessed new year filled with good health, genuine happiness, and beautiful surprises. Thank you for being such a light in my life. May God continue to favour you.
    • Happy New Year, love! May this year be kinder to you than the last, may your blessings multiply, and may you experience breakthrough in every area you’ve been waiting on. You’ve got this.
    • As this new year begins, I’m grateful you’re part of my life. Wishing you 365 days of growth, grace, and moments that remind you how special you are. Cheers to new beginnings!
    • Happy New Year! I hope this year brings you closer to everything your heart desires and further from anything that steals your peace. May you walk in favour all year long.
    • Wishing you a year where your faith is stronger than your fears and your dreams feel more real than your doubts. You’re going to do amazing things this year, I just know it.
    • Happy New Year, my friend! May this year surprise you with blessings you didn’t plan for, opportunities you didn’t expect, and joy you didn’t think possible. You deserve it all.
    • As we enter 2026, I’m praying for your health, your happiness, your success, and your peace of mind. May this be your year of uncommon favour and answered prayers.
    • Happy New Year! Thank you for being you, for showing up, for staying strong. This year, may life finally give you back all the good you’ve been putting into the world.
    • Wishing you a year where every sacrifice you’ve made starts making sense, where every struggle turns into strength, and where you finally see the fruit of your labour. Keep going, your time is coming.
    • Happy New Year, darling! May this year treat you with kindness, bless you with abundance, and remind you daily that you’re loved, valued, and appreciated more than you know.
    • As this new year unfolds, I’m praying that God’s protection covers you, His provision meets your needs, and His presence brings you peace. May you lack nothing this year.
    • Happy New Year! I hope this is the year you stop doubting yourself and start seeing what everyone else sees: someone brilliant, capable, and destined for greatness. Believe in yourself like I believe in you.
    • Wishing you a year filled with laughter that heals, love that’s genuine, and success that’s undeniable. May your journey be smooth and your blessings be plenty. You’ve earned this.
    • Happy New Year, sweetheart! May this year bring you everything you’ve been praying for and some things you didn’t even know to ask for. Trust the process, your breakthrough is near.
    • As we step into this new year, I want you to know I’m rooting for you. May your plans work out beautifully, your dreams manifest quickly, and your heart stay hopeful always.
    • Happy New Year! I’m praying this is the year where closed doors finally make sense, where delays turn into divine timing, and where you realise everything was working out for your good all along.
    • Wishing you a blessed new year, my dear. May God’s favour go before you, His angels surround you, and His peace guard your heart. Here’s to a year of supernatural breakthroughs.
    • Happy New Year! May this year bless you with people who genuinely care, opportunities that align with your purpose, and experiences that make you grateful to be alive. You deserve the best.
    • As this new year begins, I’m grateful our paths crossed. Wishing you a year of growth, healing, and becoming even more of the incredible person you already are. Keep shining!
    • Happy New Year, my love! I hope this year is everything you’ve been working toward, the year where preparation meets opportunity and faith meets fulfillment. It’s your season.
    • Wishing you a year where your mental health is prioritised, your boundaries are respected, and your peace is protected. May you finally learn to choose yourself without feeling guilty.
    • Happy New Year! May this be the year you receive everything you’ve been giving to others: the love, the support, the grace, the understanding. It’s time for reciprocity.
    • As we enter 2026, I’m praying for your elevation. May you rise above every limitation, break through every ceiling, and step into the fullness of everything God has prepared for you.
    • Happy New Year, dear! I hope this year brings you clarity in confusion, strength in weakness, and hope when things feel hopeless. Remember, you’re not walking this journey alone.
    • Wishing you a year where you trust yourself more, compare yourself less, and realise that your timeline is perfect even when it doesn’t match anyone else’s. Your time will come.
    • Happy New Year! May this year remind you how resilient you are, how far you’ve come, and how much you’re capable of. You’ve survived 100% of your worst days; that’s powerful.
    • As this new year unfolds, may you be surrounded by love that’s real, blessed with divine opportunities, and filled with joy that’s unshakeable. Here’s to your year of abundance!

    ALSO READ: 100+ Heartfelt Long Good Morning Messages for Her


    Funny Happy New Year Wishes

    These funny Happy New Year wishes are for the people who make you laugh until your stomach hurts, who get your weird sense of humour, and who know that sometimes the best way to say “I love you” is through a perfectly timed roast.

    • Happy New Year! This is officially the year we stop saying “next year I’ll finally…” and actually do the thing. I’m giving us until January 15th before we’re back to our regularly scheduled procrastination. But hey, those two weeks of motivation will be legendary.
    • Here’s to another 365 days of saying “we should really catch up soon” and then proceeding to not catch up for another six months because life is chaos and we’re both exhausted. But when we finally do meet, it’ll be like no time passed at all.
    • Happy New Year. Honestly, looking back at everything that happened this year, I’m just impressed we’re both still standing. Thanks for being my anchor when things got weird.
    • I’m skipping the big, life-changing resolutions this year. My only real goal is to keep hanging out with you and making sense of the chaos as we go. That feels like enough.
    • Here’s to another year of late-night talks, venting about things we can’t control, and laughing at things we probably shouldn’t. I wouldn’t trade our dynamic for anything.
    • We survived another one. I don’t know how we do it, but I’m really glad we do it together. Let’s see what happens next.
    • Happy New Year. I love that I never have to perform or pretend when I’m with you. Thanks for being the one place where I can just be myself, flaws and all.
    • I hope this year brings us more quiet moments and stupid inside jokes. Those are usually the only things that get me through the hard weeks anyway.
    • Life is messy, but doing it with you makes it feel like an adventure instead of a chore. Thanks for making the ride a lot more fun.
    • The world feels pretty heavy sometimes, but you have this specific way of making everything feel lighter just by being there. I’m really grateful for that.
    • Happy New Year. Thanks for being the one constant thing in my life I never have to question. That means more to me than I usually say.
    • I was trying to think of a profound wish for you, but honestly, I just hope we get to spend more time doing absolutely nothing together. That’s when I like us best.
    • May this be the year you finally respond to messages within the same week you receive them, stop leaving people on read by accident, and remember why you walked into a room before you get there. If you accomplish even one of these, I’ll be genuinely impressed.
    • Hey bestie. Here’s to 365 new days of acting like we have our lives together when we’re really just winging it and hoping nobody notices. May our confidence continue to fool everyone, including ourselves. We’ve perfected this performance art.
    • Happy New Year, my G! Wishing you a year where your exes stay exactly where they belong (blocked and forgotten), your haters stay pressed while you remain blessed.
    • May this be the year you finally stop overthinking everything, or at least overthink a little less. Who am I kidding? You’ll still overthink this message after I send it. But hey, at least you’re consistent.
    • Here’s to another year of starting strong in January, maintaining momentum through February, questioning our choices by March, and fully embracing chaos by April. The rest of the year is just us pretending we remember our New Year’s resolutions.
    • My G! Here’s to another year of adding “lol” to messages that aren’t actually funny, using “haha” when you’re not really laughing, and responding with emojis when you have absolutely nothing to say. Communication is an art form and we’ve mastered it.
    • Hey bestie. Here’s to another 365 days of our mothers asking when we’re getting married, our aunties asking why we’re still single, and us perfecting the art of changing the subject. New year, same family interrogations.

    ALSO READ: 250+ Deep, Romantic Love Messages That Will Melt Her Heart


    Romantic Happy New Year Wishes for Your Love

    When it comes to New Year messages for the person who holds your heart, generic messages just won’t cut it. These romantic Happy New Year wishes for your love are crafted to express the depth of what you feel.

    • Happy New Year to the person who makes every single day feel like a fresh start. Standing here at the beginning of another year with you reminds me that I didn’t just find love, I found home. Here’s to 365 more days of building this beautiful life together, one moment at a time.
    • As we step into this new year, I want you to know that you’re not just my partner, you’re my safe place, my biggest cheerleader, and the reason I believe in tomorrow. Thank you for loving me on my worst days and celebrating me on my best. Here’s to another year of choosing each other.
    • Wishing you a Happy New Year, my love. If I could give you one thing this year, it would be the ability to see yourself through my eyes, to see how incredible you are, how much you’re capable of, and how deeply you’re loved. May this year bring you everything you deserve and more.
    • Happy New Year to the one who turned my “me” into “we” and made it the best decision I ever made. Every year with you teaches me new ways to love, new reasons to be grateful, and new depths of what partnership really means. Here’s to growing old together while staying young at heart.
    • As midnight strikes and a new year begins, I’m not making wishes on stars; I’m counting my blessings, and you’re at the top of that list. Thank you for being my constant in a changing world, my peace in the chaos, and my forever in a lifetime of moments.
    • Happy New Year, sweetheart. I don’t know what this year holds, but I know that as long as I’m holding your hand through it, we’ll be okay. Here’s to facing every challenge together, celebrating every victory as a team, and loving each other through it all.
    • Wishing you a year as beautiful as the life we’re building together. Every day with you feels like a gift I didn’t know I needed, and every year we share feels like a chapter in the greatest love story ever written. Ours. Here’s to many more chapters.
    • Happy New Year to my favourite person, my best friend, and the love of my life. You make ordinary days extraordinary, hard times bearable, and good times unforgettable. May this year bring us even closer and give us countless more reasons to smile at each other across the room.
    • As we welcome this new year, I’m reminded that the best decision I ever made was choosing you and continuing to choose you every single day after. Thank you for choosing me too. Here’s to another 365 days of choosing us.
    • Happy New Year, my love. I hope this year brings you closer to every dream you’ve whispered to yourself in the quiet moments. And I hope you know that whatever you’re chasing, I’m right here beside you, cheering you on and believing in you every step of the way.
    • Wishing you a year filled with all the things that make your soul happy, but mostly, I’m wishing you a year where you never doubt how loved you are. You are my today and all of my tomorrows. Happy New Year to us.
    • Happy New Year to the person who taught me that love isn’t about finding someone perfect, it’s about finding someone who makes all your imperfections feel like they belong. Thank you for accepting every part of me. Here’s to another year of being beautifully imperfect together.
    • As this new year begins, I want you to know that you’re the reason I look forward to tomorrow. Not because tomorrow promises to be easier, but because I get to face it with you. Every sunrise is better when I know you’re in it.
    • Happy New Year, my darling. May this year bring you success in everything you touch, peace in every decision you make, and the constant reminder that you’re loved beyond measure. And may we continue to build something so strong that even our toughest days can’t shake it.
    • Wishing you a year where all your dreams start coming true, but also where you realise that some of your best blessings are already here in this life we’ve built, in these moments we share, in this love we’ve created. You are my answered prayer.
    • Happy New Year to my person. The one who gets my weird, tolerates my moods, celebrates my wins, and holds me through my losses. Thank you for being the kind of partner that people write songs about. Here’s to composing another beautiful year together.
    • As we enter this new year, I’m not making resolutions; I’m making promises. To love you harder, support you stronger, and appreciate you more deeply. You deserve someone who shows up for you the way you show up for everyone else. I want to be that person.
    • Happy New Year, love. I hope this year gives you everything you’ve been working toward and some surprises you didn’t even know to hope for. But more than anything, I hope it gives us more time, more memories, and more reasons to look at each other and think “we’re really doing this.”
    • Wishing you a year of growth, healing, and becoming even more of the incredible person you already are. And through it all, know that I’ll be here, not trying to fix you or change you, but loving you exactly as you are while supporting who you’re becoming.
    • Happy New Year to the one who makes my heart skip a beat and my soul feel at peace at the same time. You’re the perfect contradiction — my excitement and my calm, my adventure and my home. Here’s to another year of being everything to each other.
    • As this new year unfolds, I want to experience all of it with you — the highs, the lows, the mundane Tuesdays, and the magical Saturdays. Because it’s not about what we do or where we go, it’s about who we’re with. And I choose you, always.
    • Happy New Year, my love. Thank you for being patient with my growth, gentle with my fears, and excited about my dreams. Thank you for seeing potential in me even when I couldn’t see it in myself. Here’s to a year of becoming better together.
    • Wishing you a year where you feel as loved, appreciated, and cherished as you make me feel every single day. You give so much of yourself to everyone around you — this year, I hope the universe pours back into you everything you’ve poured into others.
    • Happy New Year to the person I want to call first when something good happens, the one I want to hold when something bad happens, and the one I want to laugh with when nothing is happening at all. You’re my everything, and I don’t say that lightly.
    • As we step into this new year, I’m grateful that out of all the people in the world, I get to do life with you. Not because you’re perfect, but because you’re perfectly mine. Here’s to another year of loving each other through everything.
    • Happy New Year, sweetheart. May this year bring us more inside jokes that nobody else gets, more comfortable silences that say everything, more spontaneous adventures that become our favourite memories, and more proof that we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be.
    • Wishing you a year as wonderful as you’ve made my life. Before you, I didn’t know love could feel this safe. Before you, I didn’t know partnership could feel this easy. Before you, I didn’t know home could be a person. Thank you for being my always.
    • Happy New Year to my forever person. Every year I fall more in love with you, not because you’re different, but because I discover new layers of who you’ve always been. Here’s to spending another year uncovering all the reasons why you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.
    • As this new year begins, I want you to know that whatever happens, wherever life takes us, whatever challenges we face, we face them together. You’re not just my partner; you’re my teammate, my co-pilot, and my ride-or-die. Let’s make this our best year yet.
    • Happy New Year, my love. I don’t need fireworks or champagne to feel like celebrating, I just need you. Because every moment with you is a celebration of what love is supposed to feel like. Here’s to 365 more days of this beautiful thing we’ve built.
    • Wishing you a year where you achieve everything you’ve been working toward, but also where you take time to rest without feeling guilty. Where you chase your dreams, but also enjoy the present. Where you become who you want to be, while knowing I already love who you are. Happy New Year to the love of my life.

    ALSO READ: 150+ Love and Trust Messages for the One You Love


    Happy New Year Wishes for Friends

    Friends are the family we choose, the ones who know our embarrassing stories and love us anyway. These Happy New Year wishes for friends are for those who feel like home.

    • Happy New Year to the friend who’s seen me at my absolute worst and somehow still chooses to be seen in public with me. Thank you for never judging my chaos, always matching my energy, and reminding me that I’m not too much, I’m just enough for the right people. Here’s to another year of being ridiculously us.
    • Wishing you a year as incredible as the friendship you’ve given me. You’re the person I call first with good news, the one I text at 2 a.m. with random thoughts, and the one who understands my silence as clearly as my words. May this year bring you everything your beautiful heart deserves.
    • Happy New Year, my friend. Thank you for being the kind of person who celebrates my wins like they’re your own, who holds space for my struggles without trying to fix everything, and who reminds me who I am when I forget. Here’s to another year of growing together instead of growing apart.
    • As we enter this new year, I’m grateful that life gave me a friend like you, someone who gets my humour, tolerates my rants, calls me out when I’m wrong, and hypes me up when I’m right. May this year bring us more memories to laugh about when we’re old and gray.
    • Happy New Year to the friend who’s been there through every era of my life, the messy parts, the glow-up moments, and everything in between. Thank you for never leaving, even when I gave you plenty of reasons to. Here’s to another year of ride-or-die friendship.
    • Wishing you a year filled with blessings that match your beautiful spirit. You’re the kind of friend who makes people believe in genuine connection, who restores faith in loyalty, and who proves that real ones still exist. May this year reward you for being so authentically you.
    • Happy New Year, bestie. I hope this is the year all your plans work out, all your prayers get answered, and all your efforts finally pay off. You’ve been patient, you’ve been faithful, and you’ve been working; now it’s time for harvest season. I’m here to celebrate every single win with you.
    • As we step into this new year, I want you to know that your friendship has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. You’ve made the good times better and the hard times bearable. Here’s to another 365 days of inside jokes, deep conversations, and being each other’s person.
    • Happy New Year to the friend who knows all my secrets and still keeps them, who’s seen me cry ugly tears and didn’t take pictures, and who’s witnessed my worst decisions without saying “I told you so” (even though you definitely told me so). Thank you for loving me through everything.
    • Wishing you a year where life finally gives you back all the kindness you’ve been spreading, where your generosity comes back to you multiplied, and where you realise how many lives you’ve touched just by being yourself. You’re a blessing, and I hope this year reminds you of that daily.
    • Happy New Year, my friend. May this year bring you less stress and more rest, fewer toxic people and more genuine connections, less doubt about your path and more confirmation that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. You’ve got this, and I’ve got you.
    • As we welcome this new year, I’m praying that every door you knock on opens, every risk you take works out, and every dream you chase becomes reality. You deserve everything you’ve been hoping for, and I can’t wait to watch it all unfold for you this year.
    • Happy New Year to the friend who’s practically family at this point. You’ve been at my table for so many meals, heard so many of my family’s stories, and still choose to come back. That’s real friendship. Here’s to another year of being honorary siblings.
    • Wishing you a year of personal growth, spiritual peace, and financial abundance. May you level up in every area that matters, while staying grounded in the values that make you who you are. And may our friendship continue to be a safe space for both of us to evolve.
    • Happy New Year, friend. Thank you for being someone I can be completely myself around. That’s rare, and I don’t take it for granted. Here’s to another year of authentic connection.
    • As this new year begins, I want you to know that watching you grow has been one of my favourite parts of our friendship. You’re not the same person you were last year, and I mean that in the best way possible. Keep evolving, keep learning, keep becoming. I’m proud of you.
    • Happy New Year to the friend who answers my calls even when you’re busy, who listens to my problems even when you have your own, and who shows up for me even when it’s inconvenient. That kind of friendship is priceless. May this year show you the same loyalty you’ve shown me.
    • Wishing you a year where you finally stop doubting yourself and start seeing what everyone else sees. Your time is coming, and I have a front-row seat to watch you shine. Let’s make this year unforgettable.
    • Happy New Year, my dear friend. I hope this year brings you the courage to walk away from what’s draining you, the wisdom to invest in what’s feeding you, and the strength to build the life you actually want, not the one people expect you to have.
    • As we step into 2025, I’m grateful for a friendship that doesn’t require daily check-ins to stay strong, that picks up where we left off no matter how much time passes, and that feels like home no matter how far apart we are. Distance means nothing when friendship means everything.
    • Happy New Year to the friend who’s seen my journey from the very beginning. Thank you for sticking around for the unfiltered version. Here’s to more realness this year.
    • Wishing you a year of breakthroughs in your career, peace in your relationships, joy in your daily life, and growth in your spiritual journey. May you end this year looking back and saying “that was my year”, because it will be.
    • Happy New Year, friend. I hope this year you surround yourself with people who add to your life the way you add to theirs, who appreciate your energy the way you appreciate theirs, and who show up for you the way you’ve always shown up for everyone else. You deserve that reciprocity.
    • As we welcome this new year, I’m reminded that true friendship isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about being there for each other even when life pulls you in different directions. Thank you for being that kind of friend. Here’s to staying connected no matter what.
    • Happy New Year to the friend who’s taught me that real friendship survives disagreements, outgrows differences, and deepens over time. We’re not the same people we were when we met, but somehow our friendship has only gotten better. Here’s to continuing to grow together.
    • Wishing you a year where your hard work finally translates into visible results, where your patience pays off in ways that amaze you, and where you look around and realise that everything you’ve been building is finally coming together. Your season is here.
    • Happy New Year, bestie. May this year bring you less comparison to others and more confidence in yourself, fewer people who drain you and more people who energise you, less settling for less and more claiming what you deserve. Level up season starts now.
    • As we step into this new year, I want to thank you for being the friend who genuinely celebrates my success without envy, who supports my dreams without skepticism, and who believes in me even when I’m struggling to believe in myself. That’s real love, and I hope I give that back to you.

    ALSO READ: 150+ Romantic Good Night Messages For The One You Love


    Happy New Year Wishes for Family

    These Happy New Year wishes for family are for the people who’ve known you since day one, who share your blood or your table or both. Whether you’re messaging your parents, siblings, cousins, or chosen family, these words honour those irreplaceable bonds.

    • Happy New Year to the family that has been my foundation, my shelter, and my constant through every season of life. Thank you for the sacrifices I’ll never fully understand, the love I could never repay, and the home I can always return to. May this year bless each of you the way you’ve blessed me.
    • Wishing you all a year filled with good health, genuine happiness, and the kind of peace that makes everything else easier to handle. Thank you for being the family that shows up, that sticks together, and that reminds me what unconditional love actually looks like. Here’s to another year of us.
    • Happy New Year to my family. You’ve seen me at my absolute worst and still set a place for me at the table. That’s the kind of love that changes lives. Thank you.
    • As we enter this new year, I’m praying for protection over our family, provision for our needs, and God’s presence in our home. May we continue to be each other’s safe place, our children’s strong foundation, and a testimony to what family should be.
    • Happy New Year to the ones who taught me my first words, held my hand through my first steps, and continue to guide me through life’s biggest decisions. Your wisdom has shaped who I am, and your love has made me who I’m becoming. May this year honour everything you’ve poured into me.
    • Wishing our family a year of unity, understanding, and unwavering support for each other. May we continue to be the kind of family that celebrates together, prays together, and pushes each other to be better. Here’s to another year of being blessed to call you my people.
    • Happy New Year, family. I hope this year brings us more moments around the dinner table, more laughter that echoes through the house, and more memories that we’ll talk about for years to come. Distance may separate us sometimes, but love always brings us back together.
    • As this new year begins, I’m grateful for a family that taught me the value of hard work, the importance of faith, and the power of staying together through storms. May God continue to shield us, guide us, and keep us rooted in what matters most.
    • Happy New Year to my siblings: my first friends, my biggest rivals, and the people who know exactly how to annoy me and comfort me at the same time. Thank you for making childhood memorable and adulthood bearable. Here’s to another year of being stuck with each other in the best way possible.
    • Wishing you all a year where our family bonds grow stronger, our individual dreams come closer to reality, and our collective blessings overflow. May we continue to be each other’s biggest cheerleaders and most honest critics. That balance is what makes us unbreakable.
    • Happy New Year to my parents, who gave up so much so I could have so much more. Your sacrifices didn’t go unnoticed, your prayers didn’t go unanswered, and your love didn’t go unappreciated. May this year reward you with rest, joy, and the fulfilment of seeing your children thrive.
    • As we step into this new year, I’m praying that our family remains covered by God’s grace, protected from harm, and positioned for elevation. May we walk in favour, operate in unity, and experience breakthrough in every area where we’ve been believing for change.
    • Happy New Year, family. Thank you for being the kind of people who tell me the truth even when it’s uncomfortable, who correct me with love, and who remind me of who I am when the world tries to tell me differently. Your honesty has kept me grounded, and your love has kept me going.
    • Wishing our family a year of financial breakthrough, spiritual growth, physical health, and emotional peace. May every member of this family experience upgrade in their personal lives while we remain each other’s constant support system. We rise together or not at all.
    • Happy New Year to the family that defined what loyalty means, what sacrifice looks like, and what unconditional love feels like. You set the standard for every relationship in my life. May this year bring you the same devotion and care you’ve always given so freely.
    • As this new year unfolds, may our family table always have room for one more, our home always have space for those who need shelter, and our hearts always have grace for those who are struggling. Let’s continue to be the kind of family that reflects love to everyone we encounter.
    • Happy New Year to my cousins, who are more like siblings; my aunts and uncles, who are like second parents; and my grandparents, who are the foundation of everything we’ve become. Thank you for expanding my understanding of what family means. Here’s to keeping these bonds strong.
    • Wishing you all a year where we make more time for family gatherings, where we prioritise being present over being perfect, and where we remember that no achievement in the world matters more than the people sitting at this table. May we never get too busy for each other.
    • Happy New Year, family. I hope this year we have more honest conversations, more grace for each other’s differences, and more celebration of each other’s victories. Our strength isn’t in always agreeing; it’s in always staying committed to each other despite our disagreements.
    • As we enter 2026, I’m thankful for a family that prays together, stays together, and faces challenges together. May this year bring us closer in ways we didn’t expect, strengthen us in areas where we’ve been weak, and remind us daily why we’re blessed to have each other.
    • Happy New Year to the people who shaped my values, influenced my character, and showed me what it means to be part of something bigger than myself. Everything good in me started with you. May this year give you reasons to be as proud of yourselves as I am of you.
    • Wishing our family a year of restored relationships, healed wounds, and renewed connections. For those we’ve drifted from, may we find our way back. For those we’ve hurt, may we find the courage to make amends. For those who’ve stood by us, may we show greater appreciation.
    • Happy New Year, family. May we be the generation that breaks negative cycles, builds generational wealth, creates new traditions, and leaves a legacy that our children will be proud to inherit. Let’s make our ancestors proud and give our descendants something to aspire to.
    • As this new year begins, I’m praying for every member of our family—for those facing battles we don’t talk about, for those carrying burdens we don’t see, and for those putting on brave faces while fighting internal wars. May this year bring healing, hope, and help to those who need it most.
    • Happy New Year to my family, the people who’ve forgiven my worst mistakes, celebrated my smallest wins, and believed in my biggest dreams. Thank you for being my safe space in a world that can be so harsh. Here’s to another year of being each other’s refuge and strength.

    ALSO READ: 100+ Season’s Greetings Messages for Friends, Family, and Loved Ones


    Professional Happy New Year Wishes for Boss or Colleagues

    These professional Happy New Year wishes are crafted for workplace connections, whether you’re messaging your supportive boss, your collaborative colleagues, or your entire team.

    • Happy New Year! I’m grateful to work alongside professionals who inspire excellence and make collaboration genuinely enjoyable. Here’s to another year of shared successes, continued growth, and achieving goals we haven’t even set yet. Looking forward to what we’ll accomplish together.
    • Wishing you a prosperous New Year filled with career milestones, professional development, and well-deserved recognition. Thank you for the leadership and guidance you’ve provided. May this year bring you continued success and personal fulfilment in all your endeavours.
    • Happy New Year to a team that turns challenges into opportunities and obstacles into stepping stones. Working with you has made professional growth feel less like a climb and more like a journey worth taking. Here’s to raising the bar even higher this year.
    • As we enter this new year, I want to express my appreciation for your mentorship and the professional environment you’ve cultivated. Your leadership style has taught me valuable lessons that extend far beyond the workplace. Wishing you a successful and rewarding year ahead.
    • Happy New Year! May this year bring our team greater achievements, smoother collaborations, and innovative solutions to every challenge we face. Thank you for making the workplace feel less like work and more like a community. Here’s to our continued success.
    • Wishing you a New Year filled with strategic wins, valuable partnerships, and career advancement that reflects your dedication and expertise. Your professionalism sets a standard worth emulating. May 2026 exceed all your professional and personal expectations.
    • Happy New Year to colleagues who’ve become more than just coworkers; you’ve become collaborators, motivators, and proof that the right team makes all the difference. Looking forward to another year of learning from your expertise and contributing to our shared vision.
    • As we step into this new year, I’m thankful for a work environment that values growth, encourages innovation, and recognises effort. Thank you for being the kind of leader who brings out the best in your team. May this year reward your investment in us.
    • Happy New Year! Here’s to a year of exceeding targets, implementing fresh ideas, and maintaining the positive work culture that makes Monday mornings manageable. Grateful to be part of a team that balances professionalism with genuine human connection.
    • Wishing you a prosperous New Year marked by professional breakthroughs and personal satisfaction. Your expertise and work ethic have been invaluable to our team’s success. May this year bring you opportunities that match your ambition and talents.
    • Happy New Year to a boss who leads by example, inspires through action, and supports through challenges. Your guidance has been instrumental in my professional development. Here’s to another year of growth under your leadership and achieving new heights together.
    • As we welcome 2026, I’m looking forward to another year of productive collaboration, shared learning, and collective achievement. Thank you for being colleagues who make excellence look effortless. May we continue to push each other toward greater success.
    • Happy New Year! May this year bring our organisation continued growth, our team enhanced synergy, and each of us individual victories worth celebrating. Grateful for the professionalism and positivity you bring to the workplace daily.
    • Wishing you a New Year where your career trajectory continues its upward momentum, your professional goals materialise ahead of schedule, and your leadership continues to inspire those around you. Thank you for setting such a strong example for the rest of us.
    • Happy New Year to the team that proves success isn’t just about individual talent, it’s about collaborative spirit, mutual respect, and shared commitment to excellence. Here’s to building on last year’s achievements and creating new benchmarks this year.
    • As this new year begins, I want to acknowledge your contributions to our team’s success and express my appreciation for your professionalism. May 2026 bring you recognition, advancement, and fulfilment in all your professional pursuits.
    • Happy New Year! Looking forward to another year of working with people who challenge me to think bigger, perform better, and grow professionally. Your collective expertise makes coming to work feel less like an obligation and more like an opportunity.
    • Wishing you a prosperous New Year filled with career accomplishments that reflect your hard work, strategic thinking, and dedication to excellence. Thank you for being a leader worth following. May this year validate everything you’ve been building toward.
    • Happy New Year to colleagues who understand that professionalism and personality aren’t mutually exclusive. Thank you for creating a workplace that feels balanced. It’s serious when needed, lighthearted when possible, and always focused on our shared goals.
    • As we enter this new year, may our team continue to exemplify what effective collaboration looks like, may our projects reflect our collective talent, and may each of us experience professional growth that translates to personal satisfaction. Here’s to our best year yet.
    • Happy New Year! I’m grateful for a professional environment where ideas are valued, contributions are recognised, and growth is encouraged. Thank you for being part of a workplace culture that brings out the best in everyone. Looking forward to what we’ll achieve together.
    • Wishing you a New Year where your professional expertise gets the recognition it deserves, your career path unfolds exactly as you’ve envisioned. Your work-life balance finally finds its sweet spot. Thank you for your leadership and commitment to our team’s success.
    • Happy New Year to a team that handles pressure with grace, meets deadlines with determination, and celebrates victories with humility. Working alongside you has raised my professional standards. Here’s to maintaining that excellence throughout 2026.
    • As this new year begins, I would like to thank you for fostering an environment that encourages professional growth, treats mistakes as learning opportunities, and celebrates success collectively. May this year bring even greater achievements for our team.
    • Happy New Year! May 2026 bring our organisation new opportunities, our team stronger cohesion, and each of us personal wins that make the professional grind worthwhile. Grateful to work with people who make collaboration feel natural rather than forced.
    • Wishing you a prosperous New Year marked by career milestones, professional validation, and the satisfaction of seeing your hard work produce tangible results. Your dedication to excellence inspires everyone around you. May this year exceed your highest expectations.
    • Happy New Year to the colleagues who’ve made the office feel less like a workplace and more like a community. Thank you for your support, collaboration, and occasional moments of laughter when deadlines felt overwhelming. Here’s to another year of teamwork and triumph.
    • As we step into 2026, I’m optimistic about what our team can accomplish with the talent, dedication, and collaborative spirit we bring to the table. May this year showcase our best work and reward our collective efforts. Looking forward to the journey ahead.
    • Happy New Year! Here’s to a year where our professional goals align with organisational growth, where innovation is rewarded, and where each team member’s contribution is valued. Thank you for being colleagues who make excellence the standard, not the exception.
    • Wishing you a New Year filled with strategic successes, meaningful professional relationships, and career advancement that honours your expertise and commitment. Thank you for your leadership and for creating a work environment where people actually want to show up. May 2026 be your best year yet.

    ALSO READ: 200+ Happy New Week Messages to Start the Week Right


    Short Happy New Year Wishes for WhatsApp Status or Captions

    Your WhatsApp status and social media captions deserve Happy New Year wishes that capture attention in a scroll, convey genuine feeling without paragraphs, and resonate with everyone who reads them.

    • New year, new energy, same commitment to becoming the best version of myself. Here’s to growth that actually sticks this time.
    • 365 new days to get it right, make it count, and build something I’m actually proud of. Let’s make this year legendary.
    • Entering 2026 with gratitude for the lessons, excitement for the possibilities, and faith that my breakthrough is closer than I think.
    • This year I’m choosing peace over popularity, progress over perfection, and purpose over pressure. Growth season officially activated.
    • New year reminder: You’re not behind, you’re not running out of time, and you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Trust your journey.
    • 2026 mood: Less explaining myself, more enjoying myself. Less people-pleasing, more peace-keeping. Less settling, more leveling up.
    • May this year bring you everything you manifested, everyone you prayed for, and everywhere you dreamed of going. Your time is now.
    • Starting this year with clear boundaries, high standards, and zero tolerance for anything that doesn’t serve my peace. Protection season.
    • New year, same dreams, but this time with a better strategy, stronger faith, and the wisdom that only experience teaches. Watch what happens.
    • This is the year I stop waiting for permission, stop second-guessing my decisions, and start trusting that I know what’s best for me.
    • 365 opportunities to choose myself, bet on myself, and remind myself that I’m capable of more than I’ve been settling for. Let’s go.
    • Entering 2026 grateful for who stayed, unbothered by who left, and excited about who’s coming. New levels require new circles anyway.
    • This year is about alignment. Aligning my actions with my goals, my circle with my values, and my energy with my peace. Everything else can wait.
    • May your 2026 be filled with plot twists that work in your favour, blessings you didn’t see coming, and proof that your patience paid off.
    • New year resolution: Love harder, stress less, save more, worry none. Life’s too short to spend it anxious about things I can’t control.
    • 2026 is the year I trade my excuses for execution, my doubts for determination, and my “someday” for “today.” No more waiting.
    • This year I’m protecting my peace like it’s my most valuable asset—because it is. Not everyone deserves access to my energy anymore.
    • Starting 2026 with a grateful heart, a clear mind, and the understanding that everything I need is already within me. Just have to unlock it.
    • New year affirmation: I am worthy of success, deserving of peace, and capable of achieving everything I set my mind to. No more playing small.
    • May this year bless you with financial increase, spiritual clarity, mental peace, and physical health. Everything else is just details.
    • 2026 energy: Main character vibes only. This is my story, my timeline, my journey, and I’m done living it on anyone else’s terms.
    • This year is about subtraction as much as addition; it’s about removing toxic energy, limiting draining relationships, and eliminating habits that don’t serve my growth.
    • Entering 2026 with the confidence that comes from surviving 2024, the wisdom that comes from learning, and the faith that better is coming.
    • New year goal: Build a life so fulfilling that I don’t need a vacation from it. Create a reality that feels as good as my dreams looked.
    • May your 2026 be filled with unexpected wins, divine connections, healing breakthroughs, and confirmations that you’re on the right path. Trust the process.
    • This is the year I stop performing for people who aren’t even paying attention and start living for myself. Authenticity over approval, always.
    • 365 days to prove to myself what I’m capable of when I actually commit: no more half-efforts, no more excuses, just results.
    • Entering 2026 with the mentality that my breakthrough isn’t coming, it’s already here. I just need to walk in it with confidence.
    • New year reminder: Your past doesn’t define your future, your mistakes don’t disqualify your destiny, and your setbacks are setups for comebacks. Keep going.
    • This year I’m choosing joy over judgment, growth over guilt, and faith over fear. Everything I need is already working itself out; I just need to trust that.

    ALSO READ: 150+ Heartfelt Prayers for Your Boyfriend


    Happy New Year Wishes for Yourself

    Self-love isn’t selfish, and wishing yourself well isn’t narcissistic. These Happy New Year wishes are for the conversations you have with yourself in the quiet moments, the affirmations you need to hear, and the promises you make to the person who matters most: you.

    • Happy New Year to me, the person who survived every hard day that almost broke me, who kept going when quitting seemed easier, and who’s still standing despite everything that tried to knock me down. This year, I’m celebrating my resilience.
    • As I step into this new year, I’m making a promise to myself: to be kinder to my reflection, gentler with my mistakes, and prouder of my progress. I’ve come too far to be my own worst critic still. This year, I become my own biggest fan.
    • This year, I’m giving myself permission to rest without guilt, to say no without explanation, and to prioritise my peace without apology. I’ve spent enough years putting everyone else first; 2026 is about pouring back into myself.
    • Happy New Year to the person I see in the mirror, you’ve been through a lot, you’ve grown tremendously, and you’re becoming someone worth being proud of. This year, I’m choosing to see myself the way the people who love me see me: worthy, capable, and enough.
    • As this new year begins, I’m releasing myself from the prison of perfectionism, the burden of people-pleasing, and the exhaustion of trying to be everything to everyone. This year is about authenticity, not performance. I’m done living for applause.
    • This year, I’m committing to the hardest relationship work there is, the work I do on myself. Healing my wounds, challenging my limiting beliefs, and becoming the person I’ve always had the potential to be. Growth isn’t comfortable, but it’s necessary.
    • Happy New Year to me. I’m done waiting for external validation to feel valuable, for perfect conditions to start moving, and for permission to live the life I actually want. This year, I’m trusting myself enough to take the leap even when I’m scared.
    • As I enter 2026, I’m making peace with my timeline, accepting that my journey doesn’t look like anyone else’s, and trusting that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Comparison is the thief of joy, and I’m done letting it steal mine.
    • This year, I’m choosing myself in every decision, every relationship, and every situation that requires me to pick a side. I’ve sacrificed my own needs for too long; now I’m learning that self-care isn’t selfish, it’s survival.
    • Happy New Year to the person who’s been working quietly, growing privately, and healing silently. Your transformation doesn’t need an audience. This year is about becoming, not performing. And I’m proud of the person I’m becoming.
    • As this new year unfolds, I’m releasing the version of myself that people fell in love with but that I’ve outgrown. Growth means disappointing people who loved who you used to be. This year, I’m okay with that.
    • This year, I’m giving myself grace for the days I’m not productive, compassion for the moments I’m not strong, and patience for the journey that doesn’t happen overnight. Healing isn’t linear, and neither is growth. I’m allowed to take my time.
    • Happy New Year to me. I survived every challenge that was supposed to destroy me, learned from every mistake that was supposed to define me, and grew through every season that was supposed to break me. This year is my proof that resilience wins.
    • As I step into this new year, I’m claiming my space, owning my story, and walking in my purpose without shrinking myself to make others comfortable. My presence is not a problem, it’s a privilege. And this year, I’m acting like it.
    • This year, I’m done romanticising struggle and glorifying hustle at the expense of my wellbeing. Success without peace isn’t success—it’s exhaustion with a nice title. I’m building a life I don’t need to recover from.
    • Happy New Year to the person I’m becoming, someone who knows their worth, protects their peace, and isn’t afraid to walk away from what no longer aligns. This year is about alignment, not attachment. And I’m ready to let go.
    • As this new year begins, I’m setting boundaries that honour my mental health, making choices that protect my peace, and building relationships that add value to my life. I’m done being accessible to everyone at the cost of being available to myself.
    • This year, I’m redefining success on my own terms, measuring progress by my own standards, and celebrating wins that matter to me, not those that impress others: my journey, my rules, my timeline.
    • Happy New Year to me. I’m giving myself permission to change my mind, to outgrow old versions of myself, to want different things, and to take paths that don’t make sense to anyone else. This is my life, and I’m done living it for an audience.
    • As I enter 2026, I’m choosing to invest in myself the way I’ve been investing in others—through my education, my health, my dreams, and my peace. I’ve been everyone else’s safe bet—now I’m betting on myself.
    • This year, I’m releasing toxic patterns, healing generational trauma, and breaking cycles that were never mine to carry. I’m not just changing my life, I’m changing my lineage. And that starts with the work I do on myself.
    • Happy New Year to the person who kept going when no one was watching, who stayed faithful when nothing was working, and who believed in possibilities when evidence suggested otherwise. This year is your harvest season. Reap what you’ve sown.
    • As this new year unfolds, I’m making a commitment to radical self-love, the kind that isn’t conditional on my productivity, my appearance, or my achievements. I’m worthy simply because I exist, and this year I’m living like I believe that.
    • This year, I’m choosing myself in ways that might disappoint others, setting standards that might seem unreasonable, and building a life that might look unconventional. And I’m finally okay with that because this is my life to live.
    • Happy New Year to me. I’m entering this year with the wisdom that only experience brings, the strength that only struggle builds, and the clarity that only growth provides. Everything I’ve been through was preparing me for everything I’m about to walk into.
    • As I step into 2026, I’m releasing the need to have everything figured out, the pressure to be perfect, and the belief that I’m running out of time. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, learning exactly what I need to learn.
    • This year, I’m protecting my peace like it’s my most valuable possession because it is. Not everyone deserves access to my energy, my space, or my life. Boundaries aren’t mean, they’re necessary.
    • This year, I’m done apologising for my ambition, downplaying my achievements, and making myself smaller to accommodate others. I’m taking up space, owning my success, and walking confidently in my purpose. And if that intimidates people, that’s their issue to resolve, not mine.

    ALSO READ: 150+ Pick Up Lines for Girls That’ll Make Her Blush


    Happy New Year Prayers

    These Happy New Year prayers combine faith with expectation, gratitude with petition, and acknowledgment of where you’ve been with anticipation of where you’re going. Whether you’re deeply religious or simply spiritual, these prayers offer words for when you want to commit the new year to something bigger than yourself.

    • In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As we enter this new year, I pray that Allah blesses you with good health, protects your family from harm, grants you success in your endeavours, and makes every step you take a step toward righteousness. May this year bring you closer to Jannah and further from what displeases Allah. Ameen.
    • Heavenly Father, as we step into this new year, I pray for Your continued guidance and protection over everyone reading this. May Your presence go before us, Your wisdom direct our paths, and Your peace guard our hearts. Let this be a year where we walk closer to You and experience Your goodness in ways we’ve never seen before. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
    • Ya Allah, grant us the strength to face our challenges with patience, the wisdom to make decisions that honour You, and the gratitude to recognise Your blessings even in difficult times. May this year be one of spiritual growth, answered prayers, and divine favour. Protect us from evil, guide us to righteousness, and accept our worship. Ameen.
    • Lord, I’m praying that this new year brings breakthrough in every area where we’ve been experiencing delay. Financial breakthrough for those struggling, emotional healing for those carrying pain, and spiritual renewal for those feeling disconnected. Open doors that no man can shut and make ways where there seems to be no way. Amen.
    • Alhamdulillah for allowing us to witness another year. May Allah grant us the opportunity to make the most of these 365 days, to worship Him sincerely, to treat others with kindness, to seek knowledge, and to grow in faith. May He protect us from trials we cannot bear and grant us success in both dunya and akhirah. Ameen.
    • Father God, I pray that this year we experience Your favour in ways that can’t be explained by our own efforts. Position us for opportunities we didn’t even know existed, connect us with people who will add value to our journey, and remove every obstacle standing between us and our destiny. Let this be our year of supernatural elevation. Amen.
    • Ya Rahman, Ya Raheem, as we begin this new year, I ask that You shower Your mercy upon us, forgive our shortcomings, and accept our repentance. Grant us the ability to forgive those who have wronged us and seek forgiveness from those we have wronged. May this year purify our hearts and strengthen our iman. Ameen.
    • Lord, I’m asking that You protect our mental health this year. Guard us from anxiety that steals our peace, depression that robs our joy, and overthinking that blocks our progress. Replace our fear with faith, our worry with trust, and our doubt with confidence in Your promises. Let Your perfect love cast out all our fears. Amen.
    • Bismillah. I pray that Allah blesses our homes with barakah, our families with unity, our hearts with contentment, and our sustenance with halal provisions. May He guide our children on the straight path, bless our parents with long life and good health, and strengthen the bonds between us. Ameen.
    • Heavenly Father, I pray for physical healing for bodies battling illness, emotional healing for hearts carrying pain, and spiritual healing for souls feeling empty. You are Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals, and we trust You for complete restoration in every area of our lives. Amen.
    • Ya Allah, grant us sabr in times of difficulty, shukr in times of ease, and tawakkul in all circumstances. Help us remember that every test is an opportunity to draw closer to You, every blessing is a reason to increase in gratitude, and every moment is a chance to earn Your pleasure. Ameen.
    • Lord, I pray for divine connections this year. Remove people who are only in our lives to drain us or mislead us. Send people who will challenge us to grow, support us genuinely, and celebrate our success without envy. Connect us with those who are aligned with our purpose and committed to our progress. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
    • Alhamdulillah for the gift of life, the blessing of Islam, and the opportunity to start fresh. May Allah accept our good deeds, forgive our sins, and grant us Jannatul Firdaus. May He protect us from the whispers of Shaytan, guide us when we go astray, and keep us firm on the path of righteousness. Ameen.
    • Father, I pray that this year we walk in the fullness of our identity as Your children. Remind us daily that we’re chosen, loved, and equipped for everything You’ve called us to do. When insecurity tries to creep in, let Your truth be louder than the lies. Help us see ourselves the way You see us. Amen.
    • Ya Muqallibal Quloob, Turner of Hearts, I ask that You keep our hearts firm upon Your deen, protect us from hypocrisy, and purify our intentions. Make us among those who worship You in sincerity, who stand for justice, who help the needy, and who spread peace wherever we go. Ameen.
    • Lord Jesus, I’m praying that this year our faith increases to the point where we stop living by what we see and start walking by what You’ve promised. When circumstances look contrary to Your Word, help us stand firm. When delays test our patience, remind us that Your timing is perfect. Amen.
    • Subhanallah, all praises belong to Allah. I pray that this year brings us closer to understanding His infinite wisdom, experiencing His boundless mercy, and reflecting His beautiful attributes in our character. May we be a source of good in the world and a light that guides others to His path. Ameen.
    • Heavenly Father, I pray for every home represented here. Bring peace where there’s been conflict, restoration where there’s been brokenness, and unity where there’s been division. Let our families be testimonies of Your grace and our homes be sanctuaries of Your presence. Amen.
    • Ya Allah, we ask for Your protection in this new year, protect us from seen and unseen dangers, from accidents and illnesses, from evil plans and harmful intentions. Station Your angels around us, guard our families with Your care, and keep us safe in Your refuge. You are Al-Hafiz, the Protector. Ameen.
    • Lord, I pray that this year we prioritise our relationship with You above everything else. When life pulls us in different directions, help us remain rooted in prayer, grounded in Your Word, and dependent on Your Spirit. Let intimacy with You be our greatest pursuit and our strongest foundation. Amen.
    • Allahumma barik lana. O Allah, bless this new year for us. Make it a year of increased sustenance, expanded knowledge, strengthened faith, and abundant mercy. Grant us success in our halal pursuits, acceptance of our worship, and steadfastness upon Your path until we meet You. Ameen.
    • Father God, I pray that we become people of integrity, character, and honour this year. Help us keep our word even when it’s inconvenient, speak truth even when lies would be easier, and do right even when no one is watching. Let our character be our testimony and our lives be our witness. Amen.
    • Ya Mujib, the One Who Responds, I call upon You to answer the duas we’ve been making, to fulfill the hopes we’ve been holding, and to grant us what’s best for us even when we don’t know what that is. You know what we need before we ask, grant us from Your infinite bounty. Ameen.
    • Lord, I pray for contentment with what we have while we work toward what we want. Help us appreciate our current season while we prepare for our next level. Teach us that gratitude and ambition can coexist, that we can be thankful for where we are while believing for where we’re going. Amen.
    • Alhamdulillah for the breath in our lungs, the food on our tables, the roofs over our heads, and the people in our lives. May Allah increase us in gratitude, generosity, and goodness. May He write this new year as a year of blessings for us and make us among those who are grateful in all circumstances. Ameen.
    • Heavenly Father, as we begin this new year, I pray for everyone reading this. Whatever they’re believing You for, whatever they’re hoping for, whatever they’re working toward. Every promise You’ve made, every seed they’ve sown, every prayer they’ve prayed, let this be the year they see the manifestation. Amen.
    • Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, as we conclude these prayers, we ask that You accept them, answer them according to Your perfect wisdom, and make this year a turning point in our lives. Grant us the ability to live these 365 days in a way that pleases You, benefits others, and brings us peace. Ameen, and Amen.

    ALSO READ: 200+ Happy New Month Messages, Wishes & Prayers For The People You Care About

  • Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.


    Ani* (29) and Jessy* (32) met in 2019 at a beach in Lagos during a secondary school reunion party. But when Jessy impulsively proposed to Ani at a club in 2023, she turned him down because she needed him to take her more seriously.

    On this week’s Love Life, they talk about bonding over party culture, navigating Jessy’s impulsiveness, and whether you can build a stable life with someone who makes decisions on the fly.

    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

    What’s your earliest memory of each other?

    Jessy: 2019, at a beach party in Lagos. It was my secondary school’s 10-year reunion. We’d hired out this section of the beach, set up games, drinks and food. I was excited because I hadn’t seen most of these people since we graduated, and it was nice catching up with everyone. I noticed Ani pretty early in the party. She was participating in all the games, taking shots with people, laughing, dancing, and just having a great time. I thought she was one of my old schoolmates that I’d somehow forgotten. So I walked up to her and said, “Hey, what class were you in? I feel like I should remember you.”

    Ani: I laughed and told him I didn’t go to his school. I was just there with my sister. He looked so confused for a second, like he was trying to reconcile how someone who didn’t go to the school could fit in so well. But yeah, that party was also my first memory of Jessy. The only difference is, I didn’t notice him until he walked up to me. We ended up talking for a while after that. 

    What did you guys talk about? 

    Jessy: About the party, about Lagos nightlife, about what we did for fun. She told me she loved going out, trying new places, and meeting new people, and I knew right away she was my kind of person. Before the party ended, I asked for her number. I told her I hosted parties regularly with my friends, and she seemed like the kind of person who’d enjoy them.

    Ani: I gave him my number because he seemed genuine. Some guys ask for your number just to shoot their shot, but he was actually inviting me to an event. Plus, I was always looking for new places to party, new crowds to meet. So I thought, why not?

    Right. Did you actually follow up after that?

    Jessy: Yeah, about two weeks later. I was planning another party with some friends, and I remembered Ani. I texted her the details and asked if she wanted to come. I wasn’t expecting her to say yes; you know how it is, people give you their number and then ghost you. But she responded almost immediately and said she’d be there.

    Ani: I was in my party phase at the time. Like, properly in it. I went out almost every weekend, sometimes during the week too. I loved the nightlife and the freedom of just letting loose. So when Jessy texted me about another party, I was in.

    What was that second party like?

    Ani: It was really fun. I brought some of my friends along, and we had a great time. But what stood out to me was how Jessy cared for us. He wasn’t just hosting, he was making sure everyone was good. He’d check in on people, make sure they had drinks, and introduce people to each other. He had this way of making you feel like you belonged, even if you’d just met him.

    Jessy: I just like creating good vibes. If I’m throwing a party, I want everyone to have a great time. What’s the point otherwise?

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    Fair enough. So did you stay in touch after the party?

    Jessy: We did. I’d hit her up whenever there was a party, a club night, a beach hangout, whatever. And she’d always come through. Sometimes she’d bring friends, sometimes she’d come alone. It became a thing. Like, if I was hosting something, Ani was going to be there.

    Ani: And he didn’t just invite me to parties. Sometimes we’d meet up during the week for drinks, or we’d go check out a new restaurant someone had recommended. It was casual. We were just two people who enjoyed each other’s company and liked going out.

    Hmmm. Did people assume you were dating?

    Ani: All the time. My sister  would ask, “So what’s going on with you and Jessy?” I’d tell her we were just friends, but I don’t think she believed me. I mean, we were always together, we had great chemistry, and we clearly enjoyed each other’s company. I get why she and other people thought there was more to it.

    Jessy: I never corrected anyone when they assumed we were together. Honestly, I kind of liked that people thought that. But at the time, I genuinely saw her as a friend. A really cool friend who I loved hanging out with, but still just a friend.

    So when did the relationship stop being platonic? 

    Jessy:  For me, it was gradual. Sometime in 2020, during the lockdown, things began to shift for me. We couldn’t go out anymore, so we’d just talk on the phone for hours. And I started realising I really enjoyed those conversations. We’d talk about our childhoods, dreams, what we wanted out of life, and random philosophical stuff. 

    I learned that Ani is incredibly driven. She was studying for ICAN, working, and still managing to have a social life. I was impressed by her discipline. I also learned that she’s very family-oriented. She talked a lot about her siblings, her parents, how important they were to her. That made me see her in a different light.

    Ani: Same. Lockdown forced us to connect on a different level. Before that, our friendship was mostly about going out and having fun. But when we couldn’t do that anymore, we had to actually talk and get to know each other beyond the party scene.

    However, I was actually seeing someone at the time. A guy who was based abroad. We’d been talking for a while, making plans for him to visit Nigeria, but something always came up. He’d say he was coming in December, then it would change to March, then June. After a while, I got tired of waiting. Meanwhile, Jessy was right there. He was making an effort and I started comparing the two of them, and Jessy won every time.

    [ad]

    When did you make it official, Jessy?

    Jessy: February 2022. We’d been talking about it for a few weeks, making sure we were both on the same page about what we wanted. Then one day, I just asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes. That was it.

    Sweet. What were the early days of your relationship like?

    Ani: Really smooth. We already knew each other so well by that point. There was no awkward phase, no discovering deal-breakers we hadn’t known about. We just transitioned from friends to partners seamlessly.

    Jessy: The dynamic didn’t change much, honestly. We still went out together, still had fun, and talked for hours. The only difference was that now we were intentional about it. We were building something real and not acting on vibes.

    Ani: And we balanced each other well. I was studying for ICAN, which meant long hours of reading and practice. Jessy was working full-time in marketing, so he also had busy weeks. But we understood each other’s schedules. During the week, we’d focus on work and responsibilities. On weekends, we’d go out, unwind, and have fun. It worked. 

    My only issue was Jessy’s impulsiveness. 

    Tell me more. 

    Ani: I started noticing maybe three or four months into the relationship. Little things at first. He’d see something online and buy it immediately without checking if it was in the budget. He’d decide on a Wednesday that we should drive to Ibadan for the weekend and just expect me to drop everything. It was fun sometimes, but it also worried me. I’m the kind of person who plans everything. I budget, schedule, and think ahead. Jessy doesn’t operate like that at all.

    And I tried to talk to him. I’d say things like, “Babe, we need to plan these things. We can’t just wake up and decide to spend money we haven’t budgeted for.” And he’d promise to do better.  But then a week later, he’d do the same thing again. It started to feel like a pattern.

    Jessy: I know I’m impulsive. I’ve always been like that. If I don’t act on something immediately, I overthink it, and then I don’t do it at all. So I’ve learned to just go with my gut and figure things out as I go. I was trying, though. I know it didn’t always seem like it, but I was. It’s just hard for me to change something that’s so ingrained in who I am.

    Ani: The craziest one he pulled was in April 2023. We’d been together for over a year, and we’d talked about marriage a few times. Not in depth, but enough for me to know he was thinking about it seriously. One Saturday night, we were at a club with some friends. The music was loud, everyone was dancing, drinks were flowing. And then, out of nowhere, Jessy gets down on one knee in the middle of the dance floor.

    I looked at him kneeling there with the ring, and all I could think was, “Are you serious right now? You’re proposing to me in a club?” People around us started cheering, recording on their phones, and I just felt so disrespected. Like, this is supposed to be one of the most important moments of my life, and you’re turning it into a spectacle?

    Jessy: I genuinely thought she’d love it. She loves clubs, she loves energy, she loves attention. I thought it would be romantic to propose in a place that represented how we bonded and connected. But I was wrong. She turned me down and walked out of the club.

    Curious, how did you feel in that moment?

    Jessy: I wasn’t thinking straight. I went after her, feeling embarrassed and hurt. Everyone in the club had just watched me get rejected. When I caught up with her outside, she was already fuming. I tried to explain that I thought she’d like it, but she wasn’t hearing it. She said I’d disrespected her, that I’d made the whole thing about me and my impulsiveness instead of about us.

    She said that if I really wanted to marry her, I needed to put thought into it and plan properly. She also said I needed to show her that she was worth more than a spur-of-the-moment decision made in the middle of a party.

    Right. And how long did it take to recover from that?

    Jessy: Weeks. Maybe a month. Things were really tense between us. She was distant, while I was hurt and defensive. We weren’t communicating well, and I started wondering if I’d ruined everything. Eventually, I realised I needed to fix it. So I sat down and really thought about what she’d said, and I understood. She deserved better than what I’d given her.

    So did you plan another proposal?

    Jessy: Yeah. I took my time with it. I thought about what she’d like, what would be meaningful to her, what would show her that I was serious about this. In December of that same year, I proposed again. This time, it was just the two of us. Just me telling her why I loved her and why I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

    Ani: The second time was a lot better and felt intentional. He’d put thought into it. He’d planned it. And that’s all I wanted. So I said yes.

    Jessy: We got married in March 2024. We had a small ceremony with close family and friends. It was beautiful, intimate, exactly what we both wanted.

    Awwwn. How has marriage been so far?

    Ani: It’s been really good. We still go out together, we still party, and we still have fun. But we’ve also built a life together outside of that. We support each other’s careers, and we’re learning how to be partners in every sense of the word.

    But is Jessy’s impulsiveness still there?

    Ani: It is. And honestly, it still worries me. It’s always in the small things and the big things. Like when he woke up on a random Friday and decided we should drive to Ibadan for the weekend without checking our schedules. He once booked a flight to Abuja without telling me first. There’s the financial bit too: a new gadget, an expensive dinner, concert tickets. And sometimes, it’s in major decisions, like when he switched jobs without having a solid backup plan.

    Jessy: That worked out fine, though.

    Ani: It worked out because I pushed him to think it through. Because I made him sit down and plan what he’d do if things didn’t work out with the new job. Left to him, he would’ve just quit and figured it out as he went along. That’s rattling.

    I always remind him we’re not just two people dating anymore. We’re married and building a life together. Our personal decisions affect both of us. 

    Jessy: I hear her, and I’m trying to do better. I’ve gotten better at communicating with her before I make big decisions. I don’t just do things anymore without running them by her first. But the impulse is still there. I feel it all the time. I see something, and I want to just go for it. But now I pause, and I think about how it will affect us. I think that’s progress.

    Neat. What’s the best thing about being married to each other?

    Jessy: Ani gets me. She understands my need for fun and excitement, but she also grounds me when I need it. She’s my balance. And she’s incredibly supportive; when I wanted to switch jobs, she didn’t just criticise me. She helped me figure out a plan and encouraged me throughout the process. That means everything.

    Ani: He makes life exciting. Before I met him, I was fun, but I was also kind of stuck in a routine. Jessy showed me how to live more freely, how to take risks, how to enjoy the moment. He also makes me laugh constantly, which is so important because life gets sad. And when things get serious, he shows up. He’s not perfect, but he’s trying. 

    Rooting for you guys. How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1-10?

    Jessy: An 8. We’re solid, but we’re also still figuring out how to navigate our differences. I think we’ll get to a 10 as we keep growing.

    Ani: I’d also say 8. We’re in a good place, but there’s room for improvement. I need him to be more intentional with his decisions, and he needs me to loosen up a bit and trust him more. If we can find that balance, we’ll be unstoppable.

     *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.


    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

  • Sometimes, life puts you in messy situations where you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing or not. That’s what Na Me F— Up? is about — real Nigerians sharing the choices they’ve made, while you decide if they fucked up or not.


    Deji*, 32, came back to Lagos from Canada for Detty December expecting nothing more than good music, old friends and a good time. However, when a road trip with a close friend ended in an unexpected expense and an awkward fallout, he found himself questioning the line between generosity and entitlement.

    When you’re done reading, you get to decide: did he fuck up, or not?

    This is Deji’s Dilemma, as shared with Adeyinka

    I came back to Lagos for Detty December expecting a good time. I wanted to rest, enjoy myself and reconnect with people I hadn’t seen in a long time. I didn’t plan for anything stressful; I just wanted the trip to feel easy.

    Tade* is one of my closest friends. We’ve known each other for years, and I’ve always seen him as someone I can move with without overthinking. Since I landed, we’ve been hanging out almost every day. We’ve gone for raves, two concerts and have a few more shows lined up. From the beginning, we agreed to split bills. Everyone paid their way, and it never felt like an issue. That was why I didn’t expect a road trip to Ibadan to change the dynamic between us.

    I had a wedding to attend in Ibadan and didn’t want to go alone. More than that, I needed someone to drive. I don’t have a car in Lagos, and I wasn’t keen on navigating a December road trip with a random driver. Tade was the obvious choice.

    When I asked him, he wasn’t enthusiastic. He talked about the long drive, traffic and stress. I understood his hesitation, so I didn’t push. Eventually, he agreed, but only on the condition that I would fuel his car to Ibadan and back. I was surprised by the request, but I didn’t argue. I agreed and told myself it wasn’t worth turning into a back-and-forth.

    The trip to Ibadan went smoothly. The wedding was nice, we ate well and joked through most of it. I was genuinely glad I didn’t travel alone. On our way back to Lagos, the car started acting up somewhere along the road. We pulled over, called a mechanic, and after checking it, he said we needed to fix it immediately if we wanted to continue our trip. The cost was a bit over ₦100,000.

    [ad]

    Before I fully processed what he’d said, Tade turned to me and asked me to pay for it. I was taken aback. 

    In my head, a lot of things were happening at once. I’d already paid for fuel both ways. I’d covered feeding during the trip. Beyond this particular outing, I’d also brought him clothes from Canada, two pairs of sneakers and a designer perfume. I didn’t bring those things as leverage, and I hadn’t thought of them as something to count, but they were very present in my mind in that moment.

    I told him I couldn’t pay for the repairs. It was his car. We had agreed on fuel, not maintenance or repairs. If something had happened to my phone or my luggage during the trip, I wouldn’t have expected him to pay for it. I felt like I had already held up my end of what we discussed.

    Tade didn’t argue with me or raise his voice. He paid for the repairs himself and got back into the car. From that point on, his mood changed completely.

    The rest of the journey to Lagos felt uncomfortable. He barely spoke. When I tried to make conversation, his responses were short and flat. By the time we got back, it was obvious something had shifted between us. Since then, he’s been distant.

    He still replies to messages, but there’s a noticeable change. He takes longer to respond and doesn’t initiate plans the way he did before. We had already talked about more Detty December outings, but now I’m not sure if he’ll show up or not.

    From my perspective, I didn’t abandon him or leave him stranded. I paid for fuel as agreed. I covered food. I showed up as a friend in ways that weren’t transactional. I didn’t start listing those things to him because I didn’t want to sound petty, but I can’t pretend they don’t exist.

    At the same time, I keep wondering if I missed something obvious. Perhaps from his perspective, it felt like I had used his car and time, and then refused to step up when things went wrong. Or maybe he assumed that, since I was visiting from abroad, unexpected expenses would naturally fall on me.

    If he had said from the start that I would be responsible for any damage to the car, I would have thought more carefully about taking the trip. I might have still agreed, or I might have made a different plan. What unsettled me was the assumption that I should automatically take on that cost.

    Now I find myself replaying everything. Should I have just paid and moved on, especially since money wasn’t much of an issue? Or was I right to draw a line and refuse responsibility for something we never discussed?

    What makes this harder is that I value our friendship. Detty December is meant to be chill, but I’ve spent part of it navigating guilt. I don’t want this to be the incident that ruins our relationship. At the same time, I don’t want to apologise for something I don’t fully believe was wrong.

    I’ve been present and generous. And yet, here I am, questioning myself.

     *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.


  • Nurein* (54) never grew up imagining marriage as something romantic. For him, marriage was simply the next stage of responsibility. He married young, built a home with the woman who understood him best, and unexpectedly became a single father after tragedy struck. Almost twenty years later, he found love again in the most unlikely place.

    In this week’s Marriage Diaries, he reflects on rebuilding after loss, blending two families into one, learning to express himself again, and why love cannot stand alone in a marriage.

    This is his marriage diary.


    Got a marriage story to share? Please fill the form and we’ll reach out.


    Marriage wasn’t romance for me; it was about responsibility

    Before I ever thought about getting married, I’d already decided I wasn’t a romantic person. It’s not that I didn’t care about women; I just didn’t express affection the way people expect. I believed in providing, protecting and showing up. Everything after that felt unnecessary or foreign.

    My father shaped most of that. He used to say, “A man becomes a man the day he pays his own rent.” According to him, the next step was marriage. Not for love, but because a responsible man builds a family. That was the mindset I grew up with. I was surrounded by men who believed the same thing. My father had seven younger brothers, and they all treated marriage like a duty, not a grand love story.

    So when marriage became a conversation in my life, it wasn’t because I was searching for deep connections or the love of my life; the decision felt straightforward. She was ready for marriage, and I was too; we understood each other well enough to build something solid. At the time, that made perfect sense to me.

    Losing my first wife broke parts of me I didn’t know existed

    Nothing prepared me for 2001. My first wife died in a car accident on her way back from work and left me with three children. That period broke parts of me I didn’t even know existed.

    She understood me in a way nobody else ever had. She knew silence didn’t mean anger. She never pressured me to talk when I wasn’t in the mood. Life was simple with her, and losing her felt like losing my balance.

    My family wanted me to remarry quickly so someone could raise the children, but I refused. I didn’t want anyone replacing their mother, and I was scared of my children being treated like outsiders in their own home. So I took on everything. I became the parent they cried to, the parent who packed their bags for school and the parent who cooked. My late mother helped until she passed, but the weight was mostly on me.

    If anyone had told me then that I would marry again, I would have dismissed it immediately.

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    I didn’t plan to fall in love again. Life just pushed me there

    Nearly two decades passed before anything like love appeared again, and it happened in the most ordinary place. I met my current wife at my last born’s school during visiting day. She was a single mother with two children and we kept running into each other.

    At first, it was just casual greetings. Slowly, it became short conversations. Over time, we started looking forward to those meetings even more than the visiting day itself.

    Five years went by, and we were still constant in each other’s lives. Eventually, we agreed it was time to bring our families together. We moved into one house with her children, my children and hopes for one child together. That part hasn’t happened, but we’re still trusting God.

    The day we told the kids we were all going to live together remains one of my happiest moments. They were excited in a way that assured me we were making the right decision.

    Blending two families will test every part of you

    Nobody prepares you for the complexity of combining households. I didn’t doubt my ability to be a good partner because I’d been married before, but this was different. Each of us came with children who had their histories and peculiarities. And it was difficult to effectively play daddy and mummy.

    But one of the hardest parts has been navigating the presence of my wife’s ex-husband. He’s not active in their lives, but every now and then, he asks to see the children. And as much as I want to be the only father figure they rely on, I can’t deny them access to their biological father.

    So I have to sit with that discomfort and still encourage a relationship I’m not emotionally comfortable with. With my own kids, it’s simpler because their mother is gone. But with hers, every request from their father forces me to be the bigger person and think about what’s right.

    Then there’s the financial side of things. When people ask me how many children I have, I say five. All five eat my food, sleep under my roof and call me daddy when they feel like it. My wife supports us, but she allows me to play the role of father fully, and I take that seriously.

    Still, we get those small misunderstandings where a child reports an issue to me instead of her, or vice versa. We always pull everyone together and remind them that there’s no division here. We are one family.

    [ad]

    My wife wants conversations, but I prefer silence

    Communication is the area I struggle with the most. My wife is expressive. She likes to talk through things, share her thoughts and hear mine. She expects conversations on days I’m comfortable being quiet.

    When she talks and I stay silent, she feels ignored, even when I’m simply thinking. What starts as a small moment easily becomes a misunderstanding. I’ve had to learn that silence doesn’t always work in marriage.

    I’ve had to stretch myself. Sometimes, I force myself to talk about the day. Other times, I pretend I don’t know something and let her explain it because I know it makes her feel heard. I ask her questions I already know the answers to so she knows I’m paying attention.

    It doesn’t come naturally, but marriage requires sacrifices you don’t always expect. I’m not the same man I was with my first wife. I’m gentler now, more expressive than I’ve ever been, even though it’s still not perfect.

    Marriage has made me more patient and playful than I imagined

    If you had met me twenty years ago, you would never believe I’d become the man I am now. I like to joke that I’m the judge of the house. Every day, somebody is reporting somebody, and I have to settle it fairly. That alone has stretched my patience.

    But I’ve also become softer. My wife says I still don’t talk enough, but she doesn’t know the version of me my first wife knew; I was the man who barely spoke at all. Now, I sit with the kids to watch TV even when I’m not interested. I gist with them so they don’t call me strict. I play more than I ever imagined I would.

    Marriage will teach you things about yourself that you didn’t even know were hiding somewhere inside.

    Love is good, but love alone cannot carry a marriage

    I believe love plays a strong role, but I don’t think it can stand alone. Marriage needs communication, patience, sacrifice, commitment and the willingness to show up for your family every day.

    Love won’t raise children, settle conflicts among five siblings or help you swallow your pride when your partner needs reassurance. Love won’t guide you when you’re learning how to blend two families.

    There is a place for love, but there must also be a place for responsibility and maturity. That balance is what keeps a home standing.

    I’ve lived through two different marriages and learned from both. The first taught me devotion and the second taught me growth. Together, they taught me that it’s possible to love and stretch your heart in ways you never thought possible.

    *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.


    Got a marriage story to share? Please fill the form and we’ll reach out.

  • Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.


    Subomi* (28) and Derinsola* (27) are university mates who went from enemies to lovers. For years, they couldn’t stand each other until the NYSC camp forced them into the same space and changed everything.

    On this week’s Love Life, they talk about campus politics, realising they had more in common than they thought, and why they’ve had to ban all talk of  politics to keep their relationship intact.

    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

    What’s your earliest memory of each other?

    Subomi: 200 level, around 2016 or 2017. I’d just joined the department as a direct entry student, so I was completely new to everyone. I’m naturally extroverted. I talk to people easily, make friends quickly, so within a few weeks, I’d already integrated into the department. I knew most people’s names, joined group chats, and attended all the hangouts. I was just being myself, really. But Derin didn’t seem to like me. Whenever I said “hi,” she either turned away or barely responded. But I didn’t think too much about it. I continued befriending whoever wanted to be my friend.

    Derinsola: And I hated it. I remember when he joined the department. He was always in people’s faces, acting like he’d been there since 100 level. I found it incredibly annoying. I thought, “Who is this person? Why is he so loud?” I kept my distance because I just couldn’t deal with his energy. We were in the same classes sometimes, but I made sure we never had to interact beyond what was necessary.

    Subomi: I didn’t even know she felt that way at first. I thought we were just two people who didn’t know each other well. It wasn’t until much later that I realised she actively disliked me.

    Right. So when did you start interacting directly?

    Subomi: Toward the end of 200 level. I’d been thinking about running for departmental president and started putting feelers out to see if I had a chance. That’s when I found out Derinsola was also planning to run. I thought, “Okay, this is going to be interesting.” We weren’t friends, but I didn’t think we were enemies either. The election changed that.

    Derinsola: The moment I heard he was running, I knew it was going to be messy. We were already not fans of each other, and now we were competing for the same position. The entire campaign became chaotic. There were camps forming, people taking sides, rumours flying around. It brought out the worst in both of us.

    What do you mean?

    Derinsola: The campaign was intense. I’d been in the department since 100 level, so I had the advantage of time. I knew the older students, the lecturers, and the course reps from other levels. I had built-in support. Subomi, on the other hand, was a DE student who’d only been around for a year. But he’d built a following so quickly that it actually scared me. People liked him because he was charismatic, funny, the kind of person who could walk into a room and instantly command attention. So even though I had seniority, I knew I had a real fight on my hands.

    Subomi: I also felt disadvantaged because I was new. But I’d worked hard to build relationships in that one year. I attended every departmental event, joined every group project, and made myself visible. By the time the election came around, I had enough people backing me that I genuinely believed I could win. The campaign itself got ugly at some point; there were accusations, people trying to discredit each other, alliances forming and breaking. The dean of student affairs had to intervene at some point when the situation started getting violent.

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    Wow.

    Derinsola: When we resumed 300 level, and the election was getting closer, Shubomi came to me and tried to get me to step down. I was so angry. I looked him dead in the eye and told him there was no way in hell I was stepping down. If anything, it made me more determined to beat him.

    So, who won the election?

    Derinsola: I did. And not by a small margin either. When the results came out, it was clear I had more support. I remember the moment they announced it, I felt vindicated. All that hard work and years of dedication to the department paid off. He looked devastated, and honestly, I was glad. I wanted him to know he couldn’t just waltz into the department and take over.

    Subomi: I was crushed, actually. I’d put everything into that campaign, and I lost. It hurt so bad, but I knew I had to handle it with grace. I congratulated her publicly, told people to support her administration, and even offered to help her with whatever she needed. I didn’t want to be the bitter loser who made everyone uncomfortable. I wanted to show that I could lose and still be mature about it.

    Right. Derinsola, how did you respond to his offer to help?

    Derinsola: I didn’t trust him. Not even a little bit. Every time he offered to help, I’d shut him down or treat him coldly. I was convinced he was trying to sabotage me from the inside; that he’d join my team, gather information, and use it against me somehow. Looking back now, I know I was paranoid. But at the time, I couldn’t see past my own suspicion. So I made it very clear that I didn’t need or want his help.

    Subomi: I’d walk up to her, trying to be friendly, and she’d barely acknowledge me. At some point, I gave up. So we spent the rest of our time in school barely speaking to each other. We’d be in the same classes, the same departmental events, but we avoided each other as much as possible. When we had to interact, it was civil but distant. I honestly thought that was the end of our story.

    I can imagine. How did you find your way back to each other?

    Subomi: 2022. NYSC camp in Ikeja. I was at the registration centre, filling out forms, and I looked up and saw her standing a few meters away. My first thought was, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Of all the local governments in Lagos, of all the NYSC batches, we ended up in the same place at the same time. It felt like some kind of cosmic joke.

    Derinsola: I had the exact same reaction. When I saw him, I actually groaned out loud. My friend asked what was wrong, and I said, “That guy over there. We went to the same school, and we hate each other.” She laughed and said, “Well, you’re stuck with him for the next three weeks.”

    What was your interaction like after you saw each other?

    Subomi: Awkward as hell. We made eye contact, and for a few seconds, neither of us knew what to do. I could see her deciding whether to ignore me or acknowledge me. Eventually, I just walked over and said, “Hey, Derin. Long time.” She looked surprised that I’d even approached her, but she said hi back. We exchanged a few awkward pleasantries, asked each other where we’d been since graduation, what we’d been up to. It was surface-level, but it was civil. That was a start.

    Derinsola: I was genuinely surprised he acknowledged me. I thought maybe he was still bitter about the election and would just ignore me. But he seemed different. Less uppity, more relaxed. I don’t know if it was the camp stress. We were all just trying to survive the drills, the heat, the terrible food, and the overcrowded hostels. 

    [ad]

    Fair enough. When did things start to shift between you two?

    Derinsola: It happened gradually. We started gravitating toward each other without really planning it. We’d see each other during the parade, or at the mammy market, or during the evening socials, and we’d end up talking. At first, it was just about camp stuff. We’d complain about the platoon leaders, laugh at the ridiculous rules, and share tips on how to survive. But then the conversations got deeper. 

    We started talking about what we’d been doing since graduation, our career plans, and our lives outside of camp. And the more we talked, the more I realised we actually had a lot in common. We liked the same music, we had similar views on certain things, and we even had mutual friends we’d never known about. I started thinking I was wrong about him.

    Subomi: Same for me. I started seeing her in a completely different light. She wasn’t the cold, uptight person I remembered from school. She was funny and surprisingly easy to talk to. She had this dry sense of humour that caught me off guard and made me laugh. By the second week of camp, we were spending most of our free time together. We’d sit together during lectures, eat together at the mammy market, and walk around camp just talking for hours. It felt natural, like we’d been friends for years instead of enemies.

    I see. So, at what point did things start to move from a platonic level?

    Shubomi: For me, it was maybe a month or two after camp. We met during weekly CDS, and I started noticing little things about her. The way she laughed, the way she got animated when she was talking about something she cared about, and the way she’d check in on me to make sure I was okay. I started looking forward to seeing her every week. I wasn’t actively looking for a relationship at the time. I’d just come out of something messy with my ex, and I was trying to focus on myself and my career. But Derin made it hard not to feel something. She just fit easily into my life at that particular time.

    Right. Were you single too, Derin?

    Derinsola: I was actually seeing someone at the time. Long distance. He was based in Abuja, working, and we barely saw each other. Maybe once every two months if we were lucky. We’d talk on the phone, but it always felt like he was too busy, too tired, or too distracted. I’d complain to Shubomi about how I felt neglected and how I was tired of being the only one putting in effort, and Shubomi would just listen. He didn’t try to turn me against my boyfriend or anything like that. He’d just say things like, “You deserve better than this,” or “You shouldn’t have to beg for attention.” And I started realising he was right. I was settling for someone who wasn’t giving me what I needed, while Shubomi, whom I’d spent years hating, was right there, showing up for me every single day.

    When did you tell her how you felt, Shubomi?

    Subomi: One evening after CDS. We were chilling at a restaurant, just talking. She was telling me about another fight she’d had with her boyfriend, and I could see how exhausted she was. So I just said it. I told her about my feelings and how I wasn’t trying to mess up her relationship. I said she deserved better, and I wanted to be that person if she’ll let me.”

    Derinsola: I was shocked, but not really. Part of me had been sensing it. When he finally said it out loud, I didn’t know what to say. I told him I needed time to think. But deep down, I already knew. I’d been developing feelings for him, too. I was more excited to see Shubomi than I was to talk to my boyfriend. That told me everything I needed to know. I ended things with my boyfriend a few weeks later. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. And in February 2023, Shubomi and I made it official.

    Nice. What were the early days of the relationship like?

    Derinsola: Really sweet. We spent a lot of time together. We’d visit each other on weekends, call every night before bed, and send each other random texts throughout the day. It felt easy and natural, like we’d been doing this for years.

    Subomi: It was one of those relationships where everything just clicked. We already knew each other’s flaws, so there were no surprises. We knew exactly what we were getting into, and we still chose each other. That felt incredibly special. However, we still had our share of disagreements.

    Tell me more. 

    Derinsola: A few months into the relationship. We realised that the same thing that brought us together—our shared interest in politics and social issues—was also tearing us apart. We’d get into these long, heated arguments about everything. Politics, economic policies, social justice, and gender issues. And they weren’t friendly debates. They were full-blown fights where we’d both get emotional and say things we didn’t mean.

    Can you give me a specific example?

    Derinsola: The 2023 elections almost ended us. Shubomi supported Tinubu. I supported Peter Obi. And we both felt so strongly about our choices that we couldn’t just agree to disagree. Every time something came up about the elections, we’d get into it. He’d defend Tinubu’s record as Lagos governor, and I’d bring up all the issues with his administration. He’d say I was being emotional and not looking at facts, and I’d say he was being willfully blind to corruption. It got so bad that we stopped talking for three days at one point.

    Subomi: I still stand by my decision. I believed Tinubu was the best candidate at the time based on my analysis of the political landscape and the realistic options available. But I’ll admit I was probably too vocal about it. I was on X defending him and arguing with people. It drove Derin crazy. 

    Derinsola: The worst part was after he won. Shubomi had this smug energy for weeks, and I couldn’t stand it. I remember telling him, “If you send me one more text about this election, I’m blocking you.” And I meant it. To this day, when I think about how loud and supportive he was of APC, it still makes my blood boil.

    How did you guys move past that?

    Subomi: We had to have a serious conversation about it. After that three-day silent treatment, I realised we couldn’t keep going like this. So I called her and said we needed to have a conversation. We talked for hours that night, and both admitted that we’d let our egos get in the way and we’d been more interested in winning the argument than understanding each other’s perspectives. We eventually agreed that politics and social issues were off-limits unless absolutely necessary.

    Derinsola: It wasn’t easy to accept that boundary at first. But we realised that being right wasn’t worth losing each other over. So now, when we feel an argument starting, one of us will say, “Let’s not do this,” and we drop it. We change the subject, we walk away, we do whatever we need to do to avoid going down that road.

    Do you think avoiding these conversations is sustainable long-term?

    Derinsola:  I don’t know. Sometimes I worry that we’re just sweeping things under the rug, that eventually, it’s going to blow up in our faces. But for now, it’s working. We’ve found other things to bond over, like careers, families, and our future plans together. We don’t need to agree on everything to love each other.

    Subomi: I think as we mature and grow together, we’ll get better at having these conversations without them turning into fights. We’re learning how to disagree respectfully, listen even when we don’t agree, and how to recognise when a conversation is about to cross a line. It’s a work in progress, but we’re committed to figuring it out.

    Rooting for you both. What’s the best thing about being with each other?

    Subomi: She challenges me in ways no one else does. She makes me think critically about things I might have accepted without a second thought. Even when we disagree, I respect her intelligence and her ability to articulate her thoughts clearly. She’s also incredibly supportive of my career and my goals. When I’m stressed about work or uncertain about a decision, she’s the first person I turn to, because I know she’ll give me honest and thoughtful advice.

    Derinsola: He’s dependable. When I need him, he shows up without excuses or hesitation. And despite all our arguments and our differences, he’s never made me feel like he doesn’t care about me or value me. He’s also hilarious, which honestly saves us most of the time. When things get tense or we’re about to start arguing, he’ll say something ridiculous that makes me laugh, and suddenly the tension is gone. That’s a gift.

    How would you rate your love on a scale of 1-10?

    Subomi: I’d say an 8. We’re building something real together. However, we’re still learning how to navigate our differences, communicate more effectively, and resolve conflicts fairly. We’ll get to a 10 eventually, but we’re not there yet.

    Derinsola: I’d also say 8. We have our challenges, but I genuinely believe we can work through them. We’ve already overcome so much—going from enemies to friends to lovers isn’t a small thing. If we can do that, we can handle whatever else comes our way.

    *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.


    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

  • Christmas is literally around the corner, and if you’re reading this, you’re probably someone who plans ahead and is already thinking of Christmas gift ideas for loved ones. Whatever the case, we’re here to help.

    Whether you’re shopping for your partner who claims they “don’t want anything,” your parents who already have everything, or your Secret Santa colleague you’ve only spoken to twice, we’ve got you covered. This comprehensive guide features Christmas gift ideas across every category that will help you win the holiday season without breaking the bank.

    Simple Christmas Gift Ideas

    Sometimes the best Christmas gift ideas are the ones that don’t require too much mental gymnastics. These simple yet thoughtful gifts work for almost anyone and won’t have you spiralling into decision paralysis at the mall.

    A leather-bound journal

    For the person who’s been talking about documenting their journey but needs that extra push to start. Get a quality one from Jumia or Konga for ₦8,000- ₦15,000. Moleskine journals are also available at RovingHeights

    Luxury scented candles 

    Bath & Body Works candles go for ₦28,000– ₦60,000 on Jumia. For Nigerian-made options, try Rekoja or Fitila for ₦15,500 – ₦50,000. Choose universally beloved scents like vanilla, lavender, or sandalwood if you’re unsure of what they’ll like.

    Personalised coffee mug 

    Transform their morning routine into something special, especially if you add an inside joke that’ll make them smile every single day. Order custom mugs with photos or quotes from vendors on Instagram for ₦5,000- ₦10,000. Printivo also does quality customisation starting at ₦4,800. 

    Artisan tea collection 

    Who doesn’t love a good cup of tea? Twinings tea gift sets go for ₦10,000- ₦15,000 on Konga or Jumia. For speciality teas, check out Tea on Instagram for curated collections starting at ₦7,000.

    Low-maintenance desk plant 

    A set of mini desk plant good for Christmas Gift Ideas

    A living reminder of your friendship that won’t die even if they forget to water it for weeks. Get succulents or cacti from plant vendors like House of Plants  or The Plants NG for ₦15,000 – ₦40,000. They come with cute pots and need watering only once a week.

    Insulated water bottle 

    Help them meet their hydration goals while looking like they have their life together. For trendy options, check Jumia for Hydro Flask dupes at ₦15,000 – ₦40,000. Dehadza WareHouse on Instagram also has ongoing promo for Stanley Cups at  ₦15,000. Choose their favourite colour.

    Adjustable phone stand 

    The gift that says “I care about your neck health and your productivity.” Get foldable aluminium stands from Jumia or Temu for ₦3500 – ₦10,000. 

    Gourmet chocolate selection

    Not the regular supermarket stuff. These are the kind of chocolates that make people close their eyes when they take a bite. Get Ferrero Rocher collections for ₦7,000 – ₦60,000 at SuperMartNG

    Therapeutic bath salts 

    For when they need to decompress from the chaos of Lagos living. Jumia has body salt sets from ₦8,000 – ₦30,000. Add essential oils from beauty stores for extra luxury.

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    Christmas Gift Ideas for Him

    The men in your life deserve thoughtful Christmas gifts too, even if they claim they “don’t need anything.” These Christmas gift ideas for him show you actually pay attention to who they are and what matters to them.

    Noise-cancelling wireless earbuds

    For the man who needs to escape into his music, podcasts, or that space where nobody’s asking him for favours. Oraimo FreePods go for ₦16,000 – ₦30,000. For premium options, Samsung Galaxy Buds cost ₦50,000 – ₦80,000. Check Pointek or 3C Hub for deals.

    Complete grooming kit 

    Help him look as good as he thinks he looks (beard oil, trimmer, and that post-shave balm that’ll change his life). Jumia has grooming kits options starting from ₦15,000. Oraimo grooming sets are also solid.

    Fitness smartwatch 

    Because you believe in his 2026 transformation, even if he’s skipped the gym all year. Xiaomi Mi Band start from ₦25,000 on Jumia. For serious fitness tracking, Samsung Galaxy Fit costs ₦100,000 – ₦150,000. Choose one that syncs with his phone.

    Signature cologne set

    So he can smell like success, ambition, and a man who means business. Zara men’s cologne starts from ₦80,000. Hugo Boss or Calvin Klein start from ₦50,000 at Essenza. Sample the scent first if possible.

    Premium gym duffel bag

    To support those fitness goals he keeps posting about. Nike or Adidas bags start from ₦35,000 at Garmisland. For budget options, check Jumia or Konga for ₦8,000 – ₦20,000. Look for water-resistant materials.

    Ergonomic gaming mouse

    Because his 10-year-old mouse is literally holding back his gaming potential. Logitech gaming mice go for ₦100,000 on Jumia. For serious gamers, Razer mice start at ₦90k. RGB lighting is a bonus.

    Waterproof portable speaker 

    JBL Flip speakers start from ₦140000 – ₦155,000 on Jumia and Slot. Oraimo speakers are budget-friendly at ₦28,000 – ₦50,000 on the Oraimo website. Test the bass quality before buying.

    Professional electric shaver 

    Upgrade him from looking “okay” to looking intentional about life. Philips, Remington, among other brands are available on Jumia starting from ₦28,000. Cordless is more convenient.

    Official football jersey

    His favourite team, because you know what truly matters to him. Get authentic jerseys from My Sports Kit or JerseyGramm for ₦85,000 – ₦150,000. For replicas, check Balogun Market in Lagos Island. 

    Designer sneakers

    Fresh shoes that say “I’m doing well for myself.” Nike or Adidas start ₦80,000 – ₦250,000 at CircleMall or Adidas Store. For budget options, New Balance goes for ₦70,000 – ₦100,000. Know his size and style preference.

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    Christmas Gift Ideas for Her

    When it comes to Christmas gift ideas for the special women in your life, you want something that shows you really know them. These Christmas gifts for her prove you’ve been paying attention to who she is and what makes her happy.

    Elegant jewellery organiser 

    Because her accessories deserve better than being tangled in a drawer like a crime scene. Get velvet-lined boxes for ₦15,000 – ₦70,000 at Ubuy. For rotating organisers, Jumia has options from ₦8,000 – ₦20,000. Choose one with compartments for rings and necklaces.

    Leather handbag 

    The kind that announces her presence whenever she steps into a room. Zara bags cost ₦30,000 – ₦100,000 at DexStiches. For Nigerian designers, check Bajluxe for ₦80,000 – ₦200,000 options. Classic colors like black or brown are versatile.

    Luxury skincare collection 

    Because her skin deserves serums that work like magic. For local brands, try Dang Lifestyle or Arami Essentials for prices within ₦10,000 – ₦100,000. Include cleanser, toner, and moisturiser.

    Designer perfume 

    A signature scent that leaves an impression long after she’s left the room. Essenza has a range of high-end female perfumes starting at ₦150,000 . FragrancesNG also has designer perfumes like Chanel, Jean Paul Gatier, Dior, with prices within the  ₦40,000 – ₦200,000 range.

    High-end makeup palette

    That one she’s been adding to cart and removing for three months. Zaron palettes cost ₦8,000 – ₦15,000. You can also shop international brands like Urban Decay or Anastasia palettes for ₦25,000 – ₦50,000 on Mama Tega

    Professional hair styling set 

    Because her hair is her crown and deserves royal treatment. Remington styling tools cost ₦100,000 – ₦250,000 at UbuyNG. Consider more budget-friendly options that go for ₦40,000 – ₦80,000 on Jumia. Include heat protectant spray.

    Gel nail polish set 

    Salon-quality manicures without the added stress of showing up at the salon. Polish-only sets cost ₦20,000 – ₦45,000 on Ubuy. Girly Essentials also has nice options with prices starting at  ₦5,000. Include base and top coat.

    Designer sunglasses

    Protection from the sun and from making eye contact with people she’s avoiding. Ray-Ban dupes cost ₦18,000 – ₦50,000 on Jumia. For authentic pairs, check House of Lunettes for prices ranging from ₦150,000 – ₦250,000. UV protection is non-negotiable.

    Christmas Gift Ideas for Kids

    Kids are honestly the easiest to shop for because their excitement is genuine and infectious. These Christmas gift ideas for kids will make you the favourite person at any holiday gathering and create memories they’ll treasure.

    Advanced LEGO architecture set 

    Watch them build entire worlds while developing problem-solving skills and patience. Age-appropriate sets cost between ₦15,000 – ₦85,000 on Jumia. For larger builds, such as architectural sets, expect a cost of ₦50,000 – ₦150,000. Check the age recommendation on the box.

    Professional art supplies kit 

    Nurture their creativity with quality materials that say “your art matters.” Complete sets cost ₦10,000 – ₦50,000 on Jumia. Include crayons, markers, watercolors, and drawing paper. Crayola is the most reliable brand.

    Giant stuffed animal 

    The kind that’s bigger than them and becomes their new best friend and pillow. Large plush toys cost ₦50,000 – ₦100,000 on Konga or Jumia. For character-specific ones (Disney, Marvel), expect to pay more.

    Strategy board games 

    Teaching them that losing gracefully is a skill while having family fun. Monopoly and Scrabble cost ₦15,000 – ₦25,000  on SupermartNG. For Nigerian-made games like Ayo Olopon, check Eko Arts markets.

    Remote control racing car 

    Because watching their eyes light up when it actually works is priceless. Basic models cost ₦10,000 – ₦25,000 on Jumia or Ubuy. For advanced rechargeable models, Indigo Kiddies has options from ₦150,000 – ₦350,000. Check battery requirements.

    Kid-friendly tablet 

    Education disguised as fun, because learning should never feel like punishment. Amazon Fire Kids tablets go for ₦35,000 – ₦165,000 on Jumia. For Android options with parental controls, check PC Place NG for ₦45,000 – ₦80,000.

    Superhero costume set 

    Let them believe they can save the world because that confidence will serve them forever. Complete costumes cost ₦15,000 – ₦35,000 at Party Supplies NG or Skit Stores. For custom-made options, Instagram vendors charge ₦20,000 – ₦35,000. Know their favourite character.

    Magnetic building blocks 

    STEM learning that doesn’t feel like school. Sets cost ₦25,000 – ₦65,000 on Baby Shop Nigeria. Bigger packs with 100+ pieces go for ₦50,000 – ₦100,000. Choose bright colours for younger kids.

    Age-appropriate puzzle collection 

    Building patience and spatial reasoning one piece at a time. Puzzles cost ₦3,000 – ₦20,000 on Temu or Jumia depending on piece count. For wooden puzzles for toddlers, expect ₦5,000 – ₦25,000.

    Adventure book series 

    Transport them to magical worlds where anything is possible. Book sets cost ₦8,000 – ₦20,000 at Rovingheights. Popular series include Enid Blyon Adventure Collection, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, or Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

    Detailed dollhouse with furniture 

    Hours of imaginative play that build storytelling skills. Basic dollhouses cost ₦15,000 – ₦30,000 at toy stores like Indigo Kiddies. For elaborate multi-story options with furniture, Jiji has sets from ₦25,000 – ₦60,000.

    Christmas Gift Ideas for Parents

    Your parents literally brought you into this world and raised you, so these Christmas gift ideas better reflect that gratitude. Show them some real appreciation with Christmas gifts that acknowledge their sacrifices and celebrate who they are now.

    Full spa day package

    They’ve earned the right to be pampered after decades of putting everyone else first. Hourly packages cost ₦25,000 – ₦70,000 at spas in Lekki or Victoria Island. Consider Oriki, they have branches on the mainland and island.

    High-performance blender 

    Support their health journey with equipment that makes wellness easier. Buchymix blenders cost ₦80,000 – ₦250,000. For Nutribullet-style, Dehadza Warehouse has options from ₦15,000. Choose high wattage for smoothies.

    Custom family photo album 

    Remind them that every sacrifice was worth it with memories beautifully preserved. Professional albums cost ₦25,000 – ₦150,000 from iPrintsNG

    4K Smart TV 

    Upgrade their relaxation time because they deserve crystal-clear entertainment. 43-inch smart TVs cost ₦250,000 – ₦500,000 at Fouani Nigeria. LG and Samsung are reliable brands. Include DSTV or Netflix subscription for the full package.

    Orthopedic slippers 

    Comfort for feet that worked tirelessly to provide for the family. Quality medical slippers cost ₦45,000 – ₦180,000 at Ubuy NG. For premium memory foam options, expect ₦85,000 – ₦125,000. Know their shoe size.

    Premium Bluetooth speaker

    Let their gospel music or old-school jams fill the house properly. JBL speakers cost ₦15,000 – ₦190,000 at Slot. For bass-heavy options, check Sony speakers for ₦85,000 – ₦200,000. Make sure it’s loud enough for their space.

    Personalised family calendar 

    Every month reminds them they built something beautiful. Custom calendars cost ₦5,000 – ₦12,000 from Printivo. Upload family photos for each month. Order by early December for Christmas delivery.

    Fine dining experience 

    Quality time where someone else cooks and cleans for a change. Restaurant vouchers at nice spots cost ₦30,000 – ₦80,000 per couple. Try places like Nok by Alara, or Ajoje Lagos for special occasions.

    Inspirational book collection 

    Feed their minds and spirits with wisdom for this season of life. Books cost ₦5,000 – ₦8,000 each at The Jazzhole. For gift sets, Jumia has inspirational collections from ₦10,000 – ₦25,000. Include authors like TD Jakes or Joyce Meyer.

    Health monitoring smartwatch 

    Show them their wellbeing matters to you deeply. Basic fitness trackers cost ₦15,000 – ₦100,000 on Jumia. For blood pressure and ECG monitoring, Samsung or Apple watches go for ₦80,000 – ₦350,000 at Slot.

    Christmas Gift Ideas for Siblings

    Siblings are the people you didn’t choose but somehow ended up being stuck with for life. These Christmas gift ideas for siblings work whether you’re shopping for your annoying younger brother or your bossy older sister — gifts that say “I tolerate you, but I also love you.”

    Premium wireless earbuds 

    So they can ignore you in high-quality audio. Oraimo earbuds cost ₦14,000 – ₦125,000 on the official website . For Apple AirPods dupes, check Jumia for ₦15,000 – ₦35,000. Samsung Galaxy Buds go for ₦50,000 – ₦80,000.

    High-capacity power banks

    Because their phone dying during crucial group chat moments affects everyone. 50,000mAh power banks cost ₦37,000 – ₦150,000 on the Oraimo website. You can also get cheaper options starting from ₦15,000 on Jumia

    Professional makeup brush set 

    For your sister who’s building her beauty empire, one YouTube tutorial at a time. Quality sets cost ₦8,000 – ₦25,000 from Zaron or House of Tara. For international brands on Instagram, expect ₦15,000 – ₦35,000. Include a brush cleaner.

    Limited edition sneakers

     The kind they’ve been hinting about for months. Nike limited editions cost ₦35,000 – ₦80,000 at sneaker stores in VI or Lekki. For other branded dupes, check  UbuyNG for prices within ₦20,000 – ₦45,000.

    RGB Bluetooth speaker 

    Turn their room into the party spot (sorry, parents) LED speakers cost ₦8,000 – ₦20,000 on Konga. For louder bass, JBL Pulse goes for ₦150,000 – ₦450,000 on PC PLace NG. Perfect for their room parties.

    Guided journal 

    For the sibling who’s on their self-discovery journey. There are several options on The Book Nook with prices starting at ₦8,000. Roving Heights also has options as low as ₦2,500.

    Professional skateboard 

    For the sibling who thinks they’re cooler than they are (and might actually be) Complete boards cost ₦20,000 – ₦45,000 on Paramount Sports Shop. For beginners, basic boards go for ₦12,000 – ₦25,000. Include safety pads and helmet.

    Instant camera with film

    So they can create memories they can actually hold, not just scroll past. Fujifilm Instax Mini 12 costs ₦100,000 – ₦150,000 on Jumia. Film packs (20 photos) cost ₦5,000 – ₦8,000. Fun for creating physical memories.

    Adjustable desk lamp 

    Lighting for late-night study sessions or creative projects. LED lamps cost ₦5,000 – ₦15,000 on Konga. For smart lamps with USB charging, expect ₦10,000 – ₦25,000. Adjustable brightness is key.

    Streaming service subscription

    Six months of no ads and no “are you still watching?” Netflix costs ₦2,900 – ₦5,300 monthly. Gift 6-12 months for ₦17,000 – ₦64,000. Spotify Premium is ₦1,800 monthly. 

    Christmas Gift Ideas for Friends

    Your friends are the family you chose, so these Christmas gift ideas for friends need to hit different. Get them something that shows you actually know their personality, appreciate their friendship, and remember that random conversation from three months ago.

    Personalised friendship jewellery 

    Matching pieces that aren’t cheesy, just meaningful. Custom name necklaces cost ₦15,000 – ₦50,000 from Bethmoda Jewelry. For matching bracelets, expect ₦8,000 – ₦20,000 per pair. Choose gold or silver tone.

    Custom phone case 

    Featuring that embarrassing photo or inside joke only you two understand. Personalised cases cost ₦5,000 – ₦15,000 from Printivo. Upload their favourite photo or quote. Ensure you know their exact phone model.

    Complete skincare routine 

    Because you both agreed to glow up together this year. Dang Lifestyle sets cost ₦31,000 – ₦150,000. Budget sets cost ₦10,000 – ₦25,000 with Neutrogena or Simple products from pharmacies like Medplus

    Specialty cookbook 

    For the friend whose cooking you actually want to eat. “Chop Chop” by The Kitchen Butterly costs ₦40,000 at Narrative Landscape. Rovingheights. You can also get Sisi Yemmie’s digital cookbook, A Time to Eat for ₦8000 on her website

    Joint gym membership  

    Accountability partners who lift each other up (literally). Monthly gym costs ₦15,000 – ₦65,000 depending on location. iFitness is a great option. They have branches in different locations. 

    Concert or experience tickets 

    The memories you’ll create together beat any physical gift. Concert tickets cost ₦10,000 – ₦300,000 depending on the artist. Check Nairabox  or Tix Africa for events. Paint and sip experiences go for ₦15,000 – ₦25,000 per person at Cera Cerni.

    Luxury self-care basket

    Everything they need for the reset they’ve been craving. The Hamper Shop NG has hamper options starting from ₦150,000. You can tailor according to your budget.

    Bestseller by their favourite author

    Signed copy if you’re really showing off. New releases cost ₦5,000 – ₦12,000 at Rovingheights. If you can, send them a signed copy. 

    Executive pen set

    For the friend whose signature is about to be worth something. Quality pen sets cost ₦5,000 – ₦20,000 on Jumia. Add engraving for that extra touch.

    Secret Santa Christmas Gift Ideas for Colleagues

    Secret Santa at the office is a special kind of stress, especially when you barely know the person. These Christmas gift ideas are perfect for colleagues — professional enough for HR, thoughtful enough to avoid awkwardness, and universal enough to work for literally anyone.

    Insulated coffee tumbler 

    Because everyone’s Monday morning depends on caffeine staying hot. Quality tumblers cost ₦5,000 – ₦15,000 on Konga. For branded options like Starbucks-style, Instagram vendors sell for ₦5,000 – ₦12,000. Keeps coffee hot for hours.

    Bamboo desk organiser

    Help them look like they have their professional life together. Organisers cost ₦8,000 – ₦25,000 on Jumia. For multi-compartment styles, expect ₦15,000 – ₦35,000. Great for pens, phones, and accessories.

    Squeeze stress ball 

    For when that meeting could have been an email. Stress balls cost ₦1,500 – ₦4,000 at office supply stores or Lucy NG. For funny shapes (avocado, emoji), check budget ₦2,500 – ₦5,000.

    Mini desk plant kit 

    Bring life to their cubicle with a little bit of cute greenery. Small plants with pots cost ₦5,000 – ₦15,000 from vendors at The Palms or Ikeja City Mall. Succulents are foolproof. Add care instructions.

    Quality notebook and pen 

    For looking attentive in meetings even when they’re not. Moleskine notebooks cost ₦8,000 – ₦15,000 at Roving Heights. Bundle with a nice pen for ₦6,000 – ₦12,000 total. Classic and professional.

    Ergonomic mousepad 

    Show you care about their wrist health. Gel wrist-support mousepads cost ₦4,000 – ₦15,000 on Jumia. For custom designs, Instagram vendors charge ₦4,000 – ₦10,000. Prevents wrist pain.

    Minimalist desk clock

    Help them count down to 5 p.m. in style. Simple clocks cost ₦3,000 – ₦10,000 at konga or Jumia. For digital ones with temperature display, expect ₦15,000 – ₦45,000. Choose neutral colours.

    Colourful sticky note set 

    Make their reminders at least aesthetically pleasing. Fun sets cost ₦2,000 – ₦5,000 at office supply stores or Shoprite. For shaped ones (arrows, speech bubbles), check Jumia for ₦3,000 – ₦7,000.

    Compact lunch bag

    For colleagues trying to save money and eat healthier. Insulated bags cost ₦3,000 – ₦8,000 on Rubearms or Jumia. For leak-proof compartments, expect ₦5,000 – ₦12,000. Great for healthy eating goals.

    Last-Minute Christmas Gift Ideas

    It’s December 24th, you’ve procrastinated spectacularly, and now you’re in full panic mode. Take a breath—these last-minute Christmas gift ideas can be grabbed quickly and still show you care (even though we both know you forgot until literally right now).

    Digital gift cards 

    Buy iTunes or Google Play cards instantly online at Cardtonic for face value. Amazon gift cards available on Jumia. 

    Cash in elegant envelope 

    Buy nice greeting cards at SPAR for ₦500 – ₦1,500. Add your cash gift and a handwritten note. Simple but everyone loves cash.

    Gourmet food basket 

    Hit SPAR or Ebeano and grab wine (₦5,000+), chocolates (₦3,000+), cheese (₦4,000+), crackers (₦2,000). Add ribbon from party section. Takes 20 minutes.

    Online course subscription 

    Courses that say  “I believe in your growth.” Udemy courses cost ₦5,000 – ₦30,000. Domestika also has courses within the same price range. Buy and gift via email instantly.

    Spa voucher 

    Call spas like Oriki to buy vouchers (₦35,000 – ₦85,000). Many send e-vouchers via email same day.

    Virtual experience voucher 

    Book online cooking classes like Hilda Baci’s  (₦10,000 – ₦30,000) or wine tasting events. Many event companies send confirmation emails you can print and gift.

    Beauty store gift card 

    Let them choose exactly what they want. Dang Lifestyle, Zaron, or House of Tara sell gift cards at their stores. Budget anywhere from ₦5,000 – ₦100,000.

    Grocery gift card

    Chowdeck has redeemable gift cards depending on your budget. They’ll appreciate a little something for Christmas grocery shopping.

    Christmas Gift Ideas Under ₦10k

    Not all of us have a December budget that can accommodate everyone on our list at premium prices. These Christmas gift ideas under ₦10k prove you don’t need to break the bank to give thoughtful, quality gifts that people will actually appreciate and use.

    Phone accessories bundle 

    Combine pop socket (₦1,500), phone ring (₦1,000), and screen protector (₦1,500) from Temu for under ₦5,000. Add a phone case for ₦2,000 – ₦4,000 more.

    Beautiful stationery set 

    Quality notebooks (₦2,000), nice pens (₦1,500), and washi tape (₦1,000) from Quintessence or office supply stores. Total under ₦5,000. Shop on Jumia.

    Personalised keychain 

    Engraving makes anything feel expensive. Custom engraved keychains from craft markets cost ₦2,000 – ₦4,000. Add a nice key holder for ₦1,500. Practical and personal.

    Decorative picture frame  

    Quality frames cost ₦3,000 – ₦8,000 at SPAR or Jumia. Print a meaningful photo at Slots (₦500) before gifting. Total under ₦9,000. Put a meaningful photo inside before gifting

    Mug collection 

    Funny quotes that start their mornings right. Cute mugs cost ₦2,000 – ₦4,000 each at SPAR or Ebeano. Get 2-3 with different designs for variety. Great for coffee or tea lovers.

    Sheet mask collection 

    Spa experience for under budget. Buy 10-15 Korean or local sheet masks for ₦5,000 – ₦8,000 on Jumia or at beauty stores. Package them nicely in a box.

    Assorted chocolate box

    Quality treats that look bougie. Get quality assortments from SPAR for ₦4,000 – ₦9,000. For fancy packaging, check Ebeano chocolate section. Add a nice card.

    Kitchen gadget set

    For the chef-in-the-making. Measuring spoons (₦1,500), vegetable peeler (₦1,000), and can opener (₦1,500) from SPAR or Ebeano . Useful tools under ₦5,000.


    ALSO READ: 7 Weird Gifts People Receive During Christmas



  • Simbi* (31) always imagined marriage as a fairytale where every lady meets her Prince Charming. However, her first relationship gave her a harsh reality check, and years later, she found herself marrying a man fifteen years her senior.

    In this week’s Marriage Diaries, she talks about redefining romance, navigating in-law dynamics, the moment she nearly broke off her relationship over family tension, and why she still believes love is enough.

    This is her marriage diary.

    I grew up waiting for a Prince Charming who looked like a movie character

    Long before I got married, love existed for me inside storybooks. As a child, I devoured Ladybird fairytales, dreaming of enchanted castles, destiny encounters and princesses who always found their Prince Charming. I even gave myself the nickname Cinderella in primary school because that’s how fully immersed I was in romance worlds I hadn’t lived.

    By secondary school, Disney magic evolved into romcom novels. I’d spend hours reading and imagining myself as a character in the pages of the book. In university, Bollywood and K-dramas joined the mix. I lived inside those stories so much that my parents occasionally wondered if I spared any attention for my academics. Every emotion I imagined, every fantasy I considered “true love,” came from the make-believe world.

    Reality didn’t hit until my first boyfriend. He was my first kiss, my first cinema date, my first everything. For a while, the relationship looked exactly like the movies I loved. And then it fell apart. He changed in ways I still struggle to describe. There was unnecessary drama, confusion upon confusion until things fell apart. Even when the relationship was clearly dying, I didn’t want to leave because I believed he was “the one.” It took my friends dragging me, emotionally and verbally, for me to finally walk away. It was the first crack in my fairytale lens.

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    Falling in love with an older man was the first real surprise of my adult life

    If anyone had told me I’d marry someone fifteen years older, I wouldn’t have believed it. In all the romantic stories I absorbed, the couples were always age mates or close in age. Older men were never part of the script.

    Then, in university, I gained weight. Suddenly, older men paid me more attention, sometimes in uncomfortable ways. I heard male coursemates say things like I was “heavy duty” and not for young boys. Married men approached me at parties, and I hated it. So I shut out all older men.

    My husband was the first one I gave a chance. He was 40 when we met, dealing with delays in his life and two failed engagements. I only noticed him because he didn’t look his age. That made me listen, then pay attention, then fall. The age gap that once scared me became something I barely noticed.

    If anyone had told me then that he’d become my partner, I would have laughed. But loving him changed my idea of romance in a way I didn’t see coming.

    [ad]

    One comment from my husband’s family made me feel like running

    I still remember the day I wondered whether marriage to my husband was truly something I could handle. It started with what should’ve been an innocent family visit. His mum and two sisters were around. It was spontaneous, and I hadn’t planned it, so I arrived empty-handed.

    They teased me about it, not maliciously, but my husband wasn’t having it. He reacted sharply, and it quickly escalated into a back-and-forth between him and his family. I excused myself, but internally, I panicked.

    For two weeks, I avoided him. I kept replaying the scene in my mind: three women much older than me, and me stuck in the middle of drama I didn’t create. I couldn’t imagine a lifetime where I’d be in conflict with people I barely knew but was expected to respect deeply.

    When we finally spoke, I told him I wanted to end things. I didn’t want him constantly defending me against his family. I didn’t want to be the reason he clashed with the women who raised him.

    It took a lot of reassurance from him and my mum to convince me not to run. Looking back four years later, I’m grateful I stayed.


    Got a marriage story to share? Please fill the form and we’ll reach out.


    No one prepares you for navigating a family that’s not yours

    Before marriage, my mum practically trained me for my new family. She taught me how to show respect to older women, how to observe, when to talk, when to stay quiet, and even made me set reminders to call my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. But nothing beats real life experience.

    A few months after we got married, my mother-in-law visited for two weeks. She was warm and pleasant, but insisted on cooking and dishing up the meals during her stay. At first, I took it personally, as if she was subtly telling me I wasn’t doing something right. My mum told me to join her in the kitchen instead of reading too much into it. That changed everything.

    Then there were the unannounced visits from my sisters-in-law — smiling, bearing gifts, completely unaware that sometimes I felt like the odd one out. They’d settle into the living room, chatting and laughing with my husband in that familiar way people do when they’ve known each other forever.

    For the first two years, I constantly felt like I was trying to prove myself. Now, I’ve completely settled into things. I understand their intentions better, and I’m more confident in my place in the family. Marriage teaches you diplomacy in ways school never can.

    We had to learn how to meet in the middle when it came to respect and expression

    The biggest recurring conflict in my marriage has been about how I relate to my husband in public or around his relatives. He doesn’t like pet names, touching his beard playfully, or hitting him jokingly when others are around. He finds it disrespectful and prefers that kind of affection to stay private.

    We argued a lot about it because I didn’t want a marriage where I felt like I needed to switch versions of myself depending on the setting. After our first child, he even suggested we stop calling each other by name but I rejected that immediately.

    Sometimes he leans into the age difference and tries to remind me he’s older and wiser. I always push back. I respect my husband deeply, but I don’t want a dynamic that feels like I’m reporting to a boss. Over time, I’ve learned to recognise when it’s cultural conditioning talking. He’s from a different generation, and occasionally it shows.

    We’re still figuring it out, but we always return to honest conversations instead of letting resentment grow.

    Motherhood changed the version of myself I thought I’d carry into marriage

    I’ve lost and gained different parts of myself over the past four years. The biggest shift came with motherhood. I would’ve loved a little more time before having kids, but my husband was eager to be a dad because he was already 40 when we married.

    We had our first child a year in, and that transition shook me. Even with all the support I had from my family, my in-laws, and him, nothing prepares you for the emotional weight of motherhood. Some nights, I woke up crying for no reason I could articulate.

    But I also grew. I learned how to relate with older people, handle different personalities, and move confidently in rooms filled with my husband’s older friends. Most of them assume I’m older than I am, thanks to my stature. I always like to say that marriage stretched me, but it didn’t break me.

    I believe love is enough

    Maybe it’s the hopeless romantic in me, but I genuinely believe love can sustain a marriage. I know people say communication, patience and understanding matter, but I think real love fuels those things.

    I’ve dated men who made me feel like they were doing me a favour by being with me. Today, I’m married to a man who genuinely loves me — a man who made all the pain, confusion and insecurity of my younger relationships feel like distant memories.

    If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be: don’t fixate on age, and don’t let heartbreak distort your worth. Love, when it’s genuine, makes the rest of the work possible.

     *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.


    Got a marriage story to share? Please fill the form and we’ll reach out.

  • Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.


    Gboyega* (30) and Charles* (28) met at a rave in March 2025. Months later, a steady run of casual sex turned into something neither of them could fully define.

    On this week’s Love Life, they open up about navigating mismatched expectations and the chances of building something real when one person is still healing from old emotional wounds.

    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

    What’s your earliest memory of each other?

    Gboyega: We met at a rave in March 2025. It was my first time at one, actually. My friend invited me, but he had an emergency and couldn’t make it at the last minute. I didn’t want the ticket to go to waste, so I went alone. 

    I felt completely out of place. Everyone seemed to know each other, and I was just standing there watching. After an hour, I decided I’d had enough and started heading out. That’s when we ran into each other.

    Charles: Yup. I remember. I’d been going to raves for a while, so the scene wasn’t new to me. But that night, I noticed this guy standing awkwardly by himself. He stared at people like he didn’t know what to do with himself. 

    Anyway, I desperately needed to charge my phone, so when I saw him with a power bank, I walked up and asked if I could borrow it.

    Gboyega: He seemed friendly, so I said yes. Then I told him I was actually on my way out. He looked disappointed and asked me to stay, as the night was just getting started. He convinced me to stay until his phone charged, at least.

    I ended up staying the whole night. We talked and danced a bit.  We shared a Bolt ride home when the rave ended the next morning and exchanged numbers and Instagram handles.

    I’m guessing you guys stayed in touch after that night.

    Gboyega: Not really. We followed each other on Instagram, but we didn’t chat much. We were both just living our lives.

    Charles: I did stalk his page, though. I’m not going to lie; I wanted to see what kind of person he was. But when I looked through his posts, I saw him with a lot of women. So I assumed he was straight and left it at that.

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    So what made you think otherwise?

    Charles: He kept commenting on my posts, especially on WhatsApp. Not normal comments, suggestive ones. The kind of comments that made me wonder if there was something more to it. One day, I just asked him directly: “Are you queer?”

    Gboyega: To be fair, I had a mission sending those comments and wondered why it took him so long to say anything. I told him I was bisexual and currently single.

    Charles: That was a red flag for me. I’ve had experiences with bisexual guys before, and most of them were just looking for sex. They weren’t interested in anything serious. So when Gboyega said he was bi, I immediately thought, “Okay, here we go again.”

    Gboyega: I didn’t know he felt that way. We just kept chatting casually for the next few months. Sometimes we talked about work, other times we talked about movies. He kept trying to invite me to more raves, but I wasn’t really interested. I didn’t exactly enjoy the first one, and I didn’t think another one would change my mind. 

    Right. So when did things change between you guys?

    Charles: Around August. We’d been talking for a few months, and one day, Gboyega suggested we meet up at his place.

    Gboyega: I was upfront about it. I told him I wasn’t looking for anything serious, just casual sex. I wanted to make sure we were on the same page.

    Charles: I said yes because I was attracted to him. And a part of me thought it could lead to something more. But I also knew it probably wouldn’t happen either way. I went because, as I said, I was attracted to him and also wanted to get some.

    We started meeting up regularly. Once or twice a week, depending on our schedules. It was easy, no strings attached. We’d hook up, talk for a bit, and go our separate ways.

    Gboyega: It wasn’t just sex, though. We’d talk about our lives, our days, and things we were going through. It felt like a friendship, too.

    [ad]

    Right. 

    Charles: After a few months, I realised I was catching feelings. I’d look forward to seeing him for the sex, the conversations, and the time we spent together. I began to wonder about him, his family, and his plans for the future, as well as more serious matters.

    Was Gboyega aware of your feelings?

    Gboyega: I didn’t realise he was feeling that way. I thought we were both on the same page and understood this was just a casual thing. To be clear, I didn’t see him as just a sex buddy: he was more like a very good friend that I also got to have sex with.

    Curious. Why weren’t you interested in a committed relationship, Gboyega?

    Gboyega: My last relationship ended badly. I was with a woman for almost three years, and she cheated on me multiple times. I forgave her the first time because I thought she’d change. But she didn’t. The second time broke me. I couldn’t trust her anymore, and I couldn’t trust myself to know when someone was lying to me.

    When we finally broke up, I was a mess. I spent months trying to piece myself back together. I’m better now, but I’m not healed. Not enough to give someone my full self in a relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.

    Charles, did you know about his past relationship?

    Charles: He mentioned it, but not in detail. I knew he’d been hurt, but I didn’t realise how deeply it affected him until a few months ago. We were at his place, and after we were done, I asked him what we were doing, and he jokingly said we were friends who sleep together. Then  I told him I wanted more than that.

    And how did you respond, Gboyega?

    Gboyega: I told him the truth. I care about him and enjoy spending time with him, but I’m not ready for a romantic relationship. I explained everything about my ex, including how I’m still working through trust issues and how I don’t want to bring that baggage into a new relationship.

    Fair enough. Do you think you can continue without a label, Charles? 

    Charles: I don’t know. Some days I’m okay with it. I tell myself that what we have is enough. Other days, I feel like I’m wasting my time, as if I’m holding on to something that’s never going to become what I want. But I don’t want to leave because I like him and it feels like we could be something real if he’d just let us.

    Gboyega, do you see a future where you could commit to Charles?

    Gboyega: I don’t know. Right now, I can’t promise him anything. I’m still figuring myself out. I’m still learning how to trust again. If I commit to him now, I’ll just end up hurting him when my trust issues come up. And they will come up because they always do.

    Curious, though. What kind of trust issues are you dealing with?

    Gboyega: I overthink everything. If someone doesn’t reply to my text for a few hours, I start wondering what they’re doing, who they’re with. I check social media obsessively, looking for signs that they’re being dishonest with me. I know it’s not healthy, but I can’t help it. That’s what my ex did to me. She made me question everything.

    I’ve been thinking about therapy for a while. I just haven’t taken that step yet.

    Charles: I get his point, but I often feel frustrated because I’m not his ex. I haven’t given him any reason to doubt me. But I also understand that healing takes time.

    Right. Do you both see other people?

    Charles: No. At least, I don’t. I don’t know about him.

    Gboyega: I don’t either. I’m not interested in seeing anyone else at the moment. But we’ve never actually discussed exclusivity, and I also don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.

    I see. What’s the best thing about being with each other?

    Charles: He makes me feel seen. When we talk, he actually listens. He remembers things I tell him. He’s thoughtful in ways that surprise me. That’s why it’s so hard to walk away. Because underneath all of this, I know he cares about me.

    Gboyega: Charles is patient. He’s understanding, even when I know I’m not giving him what he needs. He’s also funny and easy to be around. I genuinely enjoy his company, not just the physical part.

    How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1-10?

    Charles: Maybe a 7. It’s good in some ways, but the lack of commitment makes it incomplete. I can’t fully invest in something that doesn’t have a future.

    Gboyega: I’d say 7.5. We have something real, but I know I’m holding us back. If I were in a better place emotionally, this could easily be a 10.

    What does the future look like for you both?

    Charles: I don’t know. I’m hoping he’ll eventually be ready to commit. But I also know I can’t wait forever. At some point, I’ll have to decide whether to stay or go.

    Gboyega: I want to get better. I want to be someone who can show up fully in a relationship. Whether that’s with Charles or someone else, I’m not sure. But I owe it to myself to heal first.

    *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.


    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

  • Before marriage, Yinusa* (41) never imagined himself as a husband or father. For years, he focused on work, convinced it was better to stay single than bring a wife and children into hardship. Eight years after finally taking the leap, the 41-year-old has the family he once feared he couldn’t afford, but he’s still unlearning the survival mindset that shaped him.

    In this week’s Marriage Diaries, he shares how childhood poverty influences the way he loves, why overworking nearly cost him peace at home and why he believes love alone can’t hold a marriage together.

    This is a look into his marriage diary.


    Got a marriage story to share? Please fill the form and we’ll reach out.


    I never dreamed of marriage because I wasn’t sure I could afford it

    I never sat down to imagine what my marriage would look like. When you grow up watching your parents struggle to provide, you don’t daydream about family life, you daydream about escaping poverty.

    As a child, I started noticing how much they deprived themselves so we could eat and go to school. It built something inside me that I still carry: a fear of being the man who cannot provide. I didn’t want my future children to experience the kind of lack that followed my family.

    So instead of thinking about marriage, I focused on surviving and making headway in life. In university, I didn’t date. I didn’t have the bandwidth for relationship drama when feeding myself was already a struggle. Even after school, dating didn’t cross my mind for years. I buried myself in work because I believed that until I was financially stable, I had no business dragging someone else’s child into my life.

    It’s funny now because the man who once didn’t think marriage was possible is now a husband and a father. But back then, marriage was a luxury I didn’t think I could afford.

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    The biggest surprise is that this life actually became mine

    I got married in my late thirties, at a time when I finally felt like I could stand on my own two feet. I wasn’t rich, but I wasn’t scrambling anymore. Still, the real shock hit me after I got married.

    Sometimes, I sit in my living room watching my kids play with toys I couldn’t even dream of owning at their age. Sometimes I watch them eat without worrying about whether the food will last until the end of the month. And it hits me again that I made it. I gave my children the childhood I had prayed for, but never had.

    That feeling still surprises me.

    Another surprise is how aligned I am with my wife. I didn’t marry in a rush, but I still wasn’t expecting someone whose mindset almost mirrors mine. She supports me, understands me, and pushes me without dragging me. I didn’t think I would be lucky in that way. After all the years of worrying, I ended up with someone who sees life the way I do.

    Sometimes I still ask myself if this calm is normal or if trouble is waiting somewhere ahead. When you grow up looking over your shoulders, peace feels far-fetched. But I look at my life and how far I’ve come, and I  can say I have peace.

    I was fully prepared for marriage when I went into it

    Unlike many people, I never had that moment inside marriage where I questioned if I’d made a mistake. My doubts happened years before I even met my wife.

    My parents tried to pressure me into marriage once I crossed 30, the same way many Nigerian parents do. They didn’t care if I was prepared. They just wanted to tick the box. Anytime I challenged them with a simple question about whether they could sponsor a wedding, they went silent.

    During that period of pressure, I briefly dated someone who wanted me for all the wrong reasons. She and her family saw me as a means to an end. It reminded me again of why I wasn’t ready for marriage. They’d insist I come over for weekends, but I knew it was a ploy to get into my pockets. I never felt comfortable going empty-handed, so each visit took a deep cut into my finances. What made it so annoying was how normal my girlfriend at the time made it seem, almost like it was my duty. I left the situation after six months.

    By the time I met my wife, I was already prepared. I had waited until I was in a place where I could give my family stability. Once I made the decision, that was it. I didn’t have any fears or doubts about my capability to build a family.

    But what I wasn’t prepared for was realising that even when you think you’ve left your childhood trauma behind, it still finds a way to control how you behave inside marriage. I brought my fear of poverty with me into my marriage and the panic of lack. I had to do a lot of unlearning, and my wife was really patient with me. I can’t say I’ve changed completely, but it’s way better.

    [ad]

    Nobody told me how hard it would be to balance providing and being present

    The real shock came after we had our first child. That was when something in me switched on, almost like a survival mode I didn’t know was still inside me. Suddenly, I was back to the boy who grew up watching his parents struggle, and the fear returned stronger than ever.

    I started working like a madman. I would leave home before sunrise and return at 11 p.m. most days. I didn’t need to work that hard, but my mind kept telling me I had no choice. Even when we were financially okay, I always assumed trouble was around the corner, or we were one debit alert away from financial woes.

    That took a toll on my family. My wife and child were living with a ghost husband. I was providing everything except my presence. It took small arguments and a few emotional conversations for me to realise I was repeating the same pattern I grew up in: a father who loved his family deeply but was never around enough to show it.

    I’m still learning to balance the hustle with being there. Some days I get it right, some days I slip. But at least I’m aware now. I don’t want my kids to grow up calling me a good provider but a missing father.

    Money arguments forced me to adjust the way I communicate

    Money is the one thing that causes tension between my wife and I. She likes to celebrate things. She didn’t grow up in lack the way I did, so she doesn’t understand why I live like a man waiting for money to disappear overnight.

    Every year, we fight a little about birthdays. She believes in having a small gathering or inviting a few people over. I only want a quiet day and maybe a meal with my family. Whenever she pushes for anything more, I feel stressed because all I see are bills. And when I mention school fees coming up, she rolls her eyes and says life isn’t meant to be lived with fear.

    It used to be a big issue, but I’ve started making adjustments. I’m beginning to understand that her happiness matters too. She doesn’t want to live on the edge of fear the way I do. So I’m learning to compromise, even though my first instinct is always to say no.

    These days, when we argue, I try to explain myself calmly. It doesn’t always work, but at least it’s not what it used to be. I’m learning that communication is not only about saying the right thing, but also about saying it without projecting your own trauma onto the other person.

    Marriage made me a better man, but it also intensified parts of me I’m still working through

    Marriage has given me a sense of responsibility I am genuinely proud of. My wife and kids come first. If they need something, I will find a way to provide it. I don’t think anyone who knew me ten years ago would recognise how committed I am now.

    But marriage also amplified my fear of lack. I’m constantly chasing the next job, the next gig, the next financial cushion. Sometimes I forget to rest or catch my breath.

    Still, I wouldn’t change where I am. I’ve gained confidence, stability and a softer heart. I’ve also gained pressure, fear and the constant urge to work harder. 

    If I could talk to my younger self, I would tell him one thing: take your time. Don’t rush into marriage because society says so. Make sure you are truly ready. And when you finally find someone you want to build a life with, show up fully. Not just with money, but also with your presence.

    Love alone won’t sustain a marriage. Fear won’t sustain it either. What keeps it going is a combination of commitment, patience, communication and the willingness to unlearn things that no longer serve you. 

    *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.


    Got a marriage story to share? Please fill the form and we’ll reach out.

  • Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.


    Gozie* (28) and Amara* (28) met at a Lagos Passport Office in April 2024. What started as a kind gesture—Gozie helping a sick stranger get through her appointment—turned into friendship, and eventually, a relationship. 

    On this week’s Love Life, they talk about meeting by chance, bonding over relocation dreams, and whether his reluctance to give when asked is a sign of stinginess or a deeper problem.

    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

    What’s your earliest memory of each other?

    Amara: April 2024, at the passport office in Ikoyi. I wasn’t feeling well  — I was dizzy, nauseous, and completely out of it. I’d been sitting there for hours waiting for my number to be called, and I could feel myself getting weaker. I realised I couldn’t manage everything on my own. I had files to organise, and I needed to listen for when they called my number. So I turned to this guy sitting next to me and asked if he could keep an eye on my things and let me know when they called my number.

    Gozie: I remember that day. I noticed Amara immediately when she sat down next to me. She looked really pale, like she might pass out at any moment. I wasn’t sure whether to say something or mind my own business, but she clearly wasn’t doing well. When she asked for my help, I was more than happy to assist. I watched her files, listened for her number, and when they finally called her, I helped her gather her documents. After her appointment, she was too weak to wait for a cab under the sun. So I offered to order a ride for her on my phone.

    Amara: I was so grateful. Before I got in the car, we exchanged numbers. I wanted to be able to thank him properly later and maybe reimburse him for the ride.

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    When did you reach out to him?

    Amara: Almost immediately. I kept thanking him over text for the next few days. I even tried to refund him for the ride, but he refused to take it. After that, we’d chat occasionally — random messages here and there about our days.

    Gozie: I didn’t think much of it at first. I was just being a decent human being. I didn’t think we’d become anything more than two people who met at the passport office and stayed loosely in touch.

    Right. 

    Amara: About a month later. We both went back to pick up our passports, and we ran into each other again. It felt like fate.

    Gozie: I saw her in the queue and walked over to say hi. We ended up talking for a while, much longer than we had the first time. We talked about why we were getting passports, where we wanted to go, and what our plans were. That’s when I learned she didn’t actually have pressing relocation plans yet.

    Amara: My parents just insisted I get the passport so I’d have it ready whenever I needed it. They’re big on being prepared. Gozie, on the other hand, had an actual plan. His sibling was abroad and helping him sort out his relocation.

    Gozie: Yeah, I was actively working toward relocating. I had timelines, researching visa processes and was saving money, among other things. When I told her, she seemed genuinely interested. That’s when we started talking more regularly. We’d share articles, send each other links about opportunities abroad, and discuss visa application processes. It gave us something concrete to bond over.

    Amara: It felt really good to have someone who understood what I was thinking about. Most of my friends weren’t considering relocation at all, so I couldn’t really discuss it with them. But Gozie got it. We were both in similar headspaces, so our conversations just flowed.

    At what point did things start to shift from a platonic level?

    Gozie: Around October. I’d ended my previous relationship a few weeks before that. My ex was very demanding and she was always asking for something — money, time, attention, more money. No matter what I did, it was never enough. I’d send her money, and a week later, she’d need more. I’d spend time with her, and she’d complain I wasn’t doing enough. It became exhausting. Eventually, I realised I couldn’t keep going like that, so I ended things.

    Did Amara know you’d just come out of a relationship?

    Amara: Not immediately. He didn’t tell me right away. I found out later when he opened up about it during one of our conversations.

    Gozie: After the breakup, I wasn’t actively looking for another relationship. But as Amara and I continued talking, I began to see her differently. She was easy to be around. Our conversations were light; she didn’t put any pressure on me, and I genuinely enjoyed her company. I started thinking, “Maybe this could be something.”

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    Did you feel the same way, Amara?

    Amara: It happened gradually. At first, he was just the nice guy who helped me at the passport office. Then he became the friend I discussed relocation plans with. But somewhere along the line, I started looking forward to his messages. I’d check my phone, hoping to see a text from him. That’s when I knew it was shifting into something else.

    Gozie: In October, I decided to just be honest with her. I told her I liked her and that I wanted us to be more than friends. I didn’t wish to rush anything, but I also didn’t want to keep pretending I only saw her as a friend.

    Amara:  I wasn’t surprised. I’d had a feeling he was interested. And honestly, I felt the same way. So I said yes.

    Nice. What were the early days of the relationship like?

    Gozie: Really sweet. We talked every day, saw each other whenever we could. It felt easy and natural. There was no awkward “getting to know you” phase because we’d already been talking for months as friends. The only real challenge was the distance. She lives on the Island, and I live in Ikorodu. Anyone who knows Lagos knows that’s not a small distance. Depending on traffic, it could take two to three hours just to see each other.

    Amara: Yeah, it wasn’t easy. We had to be very intentional about making time for it. He’d come to my place sometimes after work, and I’d go to his on weekends. Sometimes we’d meet somewhere in the middle just to spend a few hours together. It required effort, but we were both willing to put in the work. But a few months into the relationship, I began to notice that Gozie was tight with money.

    What do you mean?

    Amara: He’s generous when it’s his idea. When we go out, he pays without me having to ask. When he decides he wants to buy me something, he does it happily. But the moment I ask him for anything, it becomes a problem. He hesitates, makes excuses, or gives begrudgingly.

    Gozie: I don’t think that’s entirely accurate.

    Amara: It is accurate. I’ve experienced it multiple times. The most painful one was during my birthday this year.

    What happened on your birthday?

    Amara: I’d been saving up to buy a new phone, but I was a bit short. So I asked Gozie if he could help me. I wasn’t asking him to buy the entire phone; I just wanted him to support me with whatever he could. He eventually gave me ₦100k, but the way he did it made me feel terrible. It felt like I was pulling teeth. He made it seem like I was asking for something outrageous and like I was a burden. Like I shouldn’t have even asked in the first place.

    Curious, Gozie. Why did you feel reluctant to give her the money?

    Gozie: I don’t like being asked for things. When I give on my own terms, it’s because I genuinely want to. There’s joy in it. But when someone asks, it feels like a demand. It changes the dynamic completely. Suddenly, I’m giving because I feel obligated. I understand that we’re in a relationship. But I also have financial goals. I’m actively saving for relocation. Every naira I spend affects my timeline. I can’t just be handing out money every time someone asks, even if it’s my girlfriend.

    Amara: Your girlfriend asking you for help on her birthday shouldn’t feel like an obligation. It should feel natural. He works, he earns well, and I know he has money. I wasn’t asking him to break his bank account. The fact that he gave it grudgingly made me feel like I didn’t matter enough. Like my needs were an inconvenience to him.

    And the worst part? It’s not an isolated incident. This is a pattern. Every single time I ask for help— whether it’s money or anything else — he hesitates. He makes me feel like I’m asking for too much. So now, I’ve stopped asking entirely because I don’t want to deal with the awkwardness.

    Gozie, do you think you’re stingy?

    Gozie: No. I don’t think I’m stingy; I’m careful and intentional with money. There’s a difference between being stingy and having financial boundaries. The problem is when it’s demanded of me. That’s when I start feeling uncomfortable.

    I see. Do you think Amara is demanding?

    Gozie: I don’t think she’s trying to be. But asking for things puts pressure on me. And that pressure reminds me of my last relationship, where I constantly felt like an ATM.

    So you’re treating Amara based on what your ex did?

    Gozie: Maybe. I don’t know. I just know that when someone asks me for money repeatedly, it triggers something in me. It makes me feel like I’m being taken advantage of, even if that’s not the intention.

    Amara: But I’m not your ex. I don’t ask for things all the time. I ask maybe once every few months — maybe two or three times since we started dating — and it’s always for genuine needs. I’m not out here asking for bags and shoes. I asked for help with my phone because I genuinely needed a new one. That’s it.

    Gozie: But even those few times feel like a lot to me. Maybe it’s my own issue, but I just don’t like the feeling of being asked.

    But have you both had a conversation about this?

    Amara: Yes. Multiple times. And every single time, it ends in a fight or argument because he refuses to take accountability.

    Gozie: I don’t refuse to take accountability. I just don’t think I’m entirely in the wrong here. She wants me to admit I’m being unfair, but I don’t see it that way. I believe I have the right to establish boundaries around my finances.

    Amara: Boundaries are fine. But what he’s doing isn’t setting boundaries; it’s making me feel bad for asking for help. There’s a difference. If he were taking accountability, he’d admit that he treats me differently when I ask for something versus when he offers on his own. And most importantly, he’ll agree to work on it instead of making excuses.

    Right. Gozie, do you think you treat her differently based on whether you’re offering or she’s asking?

    Gozie: Probably. I can admit that. But I also think context matters. When I offer, it’s because I’ve assessed my finances and decided I’m comfortable giving. When she asks, I haven’t had that time to prepare mentally or financially. It catches me off guard, and I react defensively.

    Amara: But that’s the thing, I  shouldn’t have to wait for you to offer. Sometimes, I have needs that come up unexpectedly. And in those moments, I should be able to turn to my boyfriend and ask for help without feeling like I’m committing a crime.

    Have you considered breaking up over this?

    Amara: I’ve thought about it. I won’t lie. But I don’t want to throw away a relationship over money. It feels shallow. There are so many other good things about us. This is just the one major issue.

    Gozie: I don’t want to break up either. I care about her. I just need her to understand where I’m coming from.

    How do you plan to navigate this issue if it keeps showing up in your relationship?

    Amara: We’ve basically just stopped talking about it. Every time we bring it up, it ends in a fight, so we avoid the topic entirely. But the problem is still there. It’s not gone just because we’re not talking about it. Every time something comes up that I need his help with, I hesitate. I calculate in my head whether I can manage on my own because I don’t want to deal with his reaction if I ask.

    Gozie: I’m trying to be more intentional, even if it’s not showing yet. I also think the amount of my resources that goes into saving for relocation just makes me get extremely cranky. But these days, I try to anticipate her needs. It makes it easier to be mentally prepared before she asks.

    Fair enough. Moving on, what’s the best thing about being with each other?

    Amara: He’s kind in other ways. He’s supportive of my career, he listens when I’m stressed, and he makes me laugh. This money thing is really the only big issue we have. Everything else is good.

    Gozie: Amara’s easy to be with. She doesn’t create unnecessary drama; she’s understanding and supports my goals. I just wish the money thing wasn’t such a big deal for her.

    Amara: It is a big deal, though. Because it’s not really about money, it’s about feeling valued and supported. 

    How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1-10?

    Amara: Maybe a 6. We’re good in many ways, but this issue is holding us back. I love him, but I’m worried this will continue to be a problem. If we get married and I still feel like I have to beg for help, I don’t see how that’s sustainable. I need to know I can depend on him, not just when he feels like giving, but also when I actually need him.

    Gozie: I’d say a 7. We have our challenges, but I think we’ll be fine. We just need to communicate better. Maybe I need to be more generous when she asks, and maybe she needs to ask less. Somewhere in the middle, we’ll figure it out.

     *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.


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