Life-changing news comes in different ways, but few are as uniquely Nigerian as being told you’ve won a fortune from a soft drink company. It’s not just about the money; it’s about the sheer disbelief, the immediate reactions and the planning that follows.
Imagine realising the Coke bottle cap in your hand is suddenly worth seven figures or more. Here are the 10 reactions you’ll have as a Nigerian when you realise you’ve just become a Coke millionaire.
The Initial Shock
You’re just trying to manage your life when a huge alert hits, and your brain does a factory reset. You’ll be standing still for five full minutes. Then you start wondering if your village people have finally retired.
The Loudest Declaration
This is the part where you start shouting: “Coca-cola gbemi debe!” You try to compose yourself and keep it low-key, but you can’t help it. You’ve arrived.
Bouts of denial
It still feels like a dream. You’ve checked your bank account statement to make sure the credit alert it’s real.
Break the News to A Few
Your contact list suddenly shrinks to immediate family and people who can connect you to a ‘New Money’ crowd.
The Financial Planner Phase
For the next few days, you’ll become a financial genius. Your brain will keep calculating ROIs of different business ideas.
The Generous Flex
You already see yourself in a better position to help others. You may Coke for the whole street. This is the moment your status in the compound goes from a normie to boss level.
The Paternal/Maternal Instinct
Calling your parents to retire and throw away their old car. You’ll get them new ones.
Thanksgiving
If you’re religious, you’re already planning your thanksgiving at your church or mosque. When good things happen, you give praise where it’s due.
Closer to God
Even though you’re convinced you had good luck and ran into that kind of money because village people are retired, you’re more prayerful than before. You don’t want to get back to poverty.
Full-Blown Flex
You’re already settling into that “Enjoy your life. You only live once” mindstate. Late for work? Just smile. Traffic jam? Just turn up the music. You are a Coke Millionaire and your happiness is non-negotiable.
