Nigerian lecturers are gems but you learn not to trust everything they say after you’ve spent some time in the university. The ability to decipher what they actually mean is a skill that will never disappoint you. This is a list of some of the things they say, and what they actually mean.
1. “A is for God” = I don’t know how this became a thing but my lecturer from 50 years ago told me the same thing. I’m just passing it on.
2. “Are you challenging me?” = Think before you answer this. What you say and how you say it will go a long way in determining your future at this university.
3. “You can buy the course material if you want, it’s not compulsory” = Don’t buy it at your own risk. Just know that you will probably fail this course.
4. “If you don’t get 70% attendance, you can’t write my exam” = I only said 70% because it’s the university policy but you should attend all my lectures. I don’t announce my tests.
5. “Most of you will fail this course” = I have no basis for that but it sounded cute in my head, so I said it. For real though, most of you will fail this course.
6. You can easily graduate with a first-class, but you’re not serious = If you think I meant this, then I have a unicorn to sell to you. Didn’t you hear me when I said: “A is for God”?
7. “You should read this part for your exam” = It won’t come out, sha. You will open your question paper for a surprise, and from there, It will be vibes and Insha Allah.
