Sunken Ships: My Friend Used Our Business Savings to Fund His Relationship

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Sunken Ships is a Zikoko weekly series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.

When James* (37) got a new roommate, Seun (38), in 2013, he didn’t expect they’d become close friends, let alone business partners. But after trusting Seun to keep their business savings safe, James discovered that his friend had been using the money to fund his relationship.

For Sunken Ships, James shares how the betrayal affected him and how it has shaped the way he sees friendships.

How did you and Seun become friends?

Seun moved in with me in 2013 after a mutual friend introduced us. I wanted a flatmate to split the rent with, and we hit it off almost immediately. I found that he was a really cool guy.

What was the friendship like?

It was great. We’d gist every day, and hang out over drinks during the weekends.

Seun was a good listener who gave solid advice, so I started seeing him as an older brother. He was easy to talk to, and we’d discuss everything from money to the kind of life we wanted for ourselves.

That closeness made going into business together feel natural. I wasn’t partnering with a stranger. I thought I knew him well enough to trust him, and I believed we understood each other.

Cool. What business plans did you have?

We wanted to start a supply business together. It would’ve been my first business idea since graduating school, and I was excited. I imagined us becoming one of those fierce investment duos who did big things together.

Neither of us had enough money to start, so we agreed to save for a few months before buying the things we needed. I didn’t want to get tempted to spend my share, so I suggested that Seun keep the money. Every month, as soon as I got paid, I sent the money to Seun for safekeeping. For the first few months, everything went smoothly.

So what changed?

Seun started dating Diana in 2014. I had no issues with her, but I noticed that he seemed to be spending more money. He bought her gifts, including perfume and wigs, and took her out regularly.

I didn’t expect him to be stingy with his girlfriend, but I knew we were supposed to be saving aggressively. I couldn’t understand how he suddenly had so much money to spend.

Did you suspect he was taking money from your savings?

Yes. The gifts that tipped me off, so I asked him if he was taking money from our savings. He denied it and said he was getting extra cash from side gigs. I then asked how much we had in the bank, but he dodged the question. That was when I knew something was wrong.

How did you find out what was really happening?

I kept pressing until he admitted that he’d been taking money from our savings to buy gifts and take his babe out. He said he wanted to impress her and keep her interested in him.

I was angry. He’d made decisions with money that wasn’t his alone to spend, and worse, he hadn’t been upfront about it. If he had come to me and explained that he was having financial difficulties, we could at least have had a conversation. Instead, I found out that the money we were saving together was funding his relationship

What did you do after he confessed?

I told him I was no longer interested in the business and demanded my money back. By then, I’d contributed about ₦450K.

Seun kept refusing, insisting that he’d return what he’d taken and we could continue our business plans. I wasn’t interested in continuing the business, though. I just wanted my money back.

Eventually, things escalated, and we started fighting. Our neighbours had to intervene and separate us. After that, he left our apartment and went to stay with his girlfriend.

Did you eventually get your money back?

Thankfully, I did. Seun came back to our place with his aunt, who helped us agree on a monthly repayment plan. He paid me back over the next six months, and by the end of 2015, he had moved out completely.

I agreed to the arrangement because I didn’t want to lose my money, but the fight had already ended our friendship.

I regret trusting him with something so important without putting proper safeguards in place. I thought our friendship was enough to make us accountable to each other, but it wasn’t.

It’s difficult to look at someone the same way after something like this happens.

Did this experience change how you approach friendships?

Definitely. I don’t believe in mixing business with friendship anymore. I used to think being friends with someone meant you could trust them. Now, I know that being close to someone doesn’t automatically mean you’ll share the same values, especially when money is involved.

If I ever go into business with someone again, I want everything clearly documented and a proper structure.