Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Abdulwaduud (31) and Zee (25) met during a work project in February 2025.
On this week’s Love Life, they talk about a DM trap set after a dinner event, a mother who nearly disqualified him over his hair before a single phone call changed her mind, and a marriage that happened in less than six months of dating.
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What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Zee: We met through work in February 2025. A bunch of us were added to a WhatsApp group for a project, and he was on it, too.
Abdulwaduud: I remember that meeting. She was on the team as media personnel for the brand, and I was there as the interior designer and painter. The project was about 90% complete, and we all had to meet in person to get to know each other. That was the first time I properly registered her.
Zee: Actually, now that he mentions it, I just remembered that I did a little snooping around a day before the meeting. Someone had dropped his Instagram handle in the group and I was curious to see if he knew his onions. I got to the page and was impressed. But I also saw his pictures and thought, “This man is definitely married.” It was just a passing thought, really.
When we met in person the next day, he seemed cordial and nice. At one point, he got a bit vocal with someone doing a messy job on the walls, and I must have rolled my eyes or something. But that was it, I’d already concluded he was married, so I really didn’t pay much attention beyond that.
Abdulwaduud, was there something specific you noticed about her that day?
Abdulwaduud: It was the way she carried herself. I’m very particular about composure, and she was so well put together, still is. It wasn’t really about anything else, just how present and composed she was in the room, especially surrounded by a lot of other people. She’d come straight from her regular 9-to-5 to attend, and even then, she listened more than she spoke. That evening, we had dinner before everyone left, and she was sitting right across from me, smiling at her phone. She had no idea I was already on her matter.
Right. Did you guys have an actual conversation that day?
Abdulwaduud: Not in a straightforward way, I had to set a bit of a trap to get her attention. We took pictures at the dinner, and I figured if I tagged people in a post, she’d likely get reposted into it and eventually find her way to my page. I’d spent the entire meeting checking her out without saying much, wondering if she was even single. So that night, I posted the food photo hoping she’d stumble onto my handle through the tag.
Zee: And it worked, though it took me all of two hours of scrolling his page before I even liked anything. Then, as soon as I liked something, he reacted to an OOTD post of mine and asked, “Oh, do you sew your clothes?” I told him no and asked why he’d think that.
Abdulwaduud: I’d genuinely spent the last two hours on her page trying to figure out what to say that wasn’t too forward. I landed on complimenting her outfit indirectly by asking if she made it herself. When she said no, I told her whoever tailored it deserved an award, and things just flowed from there, a lot of back-and-forth banter. At some point, I mentioned it was Ramadan and that I didn’t want to spoil my fast. Then she asked what I was praying for, and I mentioned a wife, marriage, love, peace, and prosperity.
Zee: The moment he said that, I figured he probably wasn’t married after all, and I thought, okay, maybe there’s something here.
Sweet. So how did things progress from that point?
Zee: Pretty fast. Honestly, I wasn’t even ready for anything serious at the time. I’d just come out of a bad breakup and had mentally given myself a year off dating. But Abdulwaduud was so intentional right from day one. He told me he wasn’t looking to date casually, that he wanted to marry me. I was genuinely scared at first, but he never wavered. He always made sure I knew where he stood, even while we were still getting to know each other.
Abdulwaduud: It’s just like she shared. I didn’t waste time at all, even though I was also waiting for Ramadan to end before pushing things further. About a week or so after, we arranged to meet for Iftar (dinner) in person, not officially a date yet, just a chance to talk face to face instead of only over DM.
From there, we started talking every single day, and I was very straightforward. I told her early on that I don’t do talking stages. Once I know I’m interested, I want to find out quickly whether it’s going to work rather than dragging things out. In fact, I told her we were going to get married in the same year or next. Then I gave her about a week after that conversation to decide whether she wanted to pursue things further. She visited me the following week, and that’s how our story took off.
But when exactly did it officially become a relationship?
Zee: We’d like to keep that bit to ourselves, but we’d gone to the cinema, and on the drive home, he brought it up in the car. I actually told him to stop, but he went ahead anyway. He didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend exactly; he used the word woman instead.
Abdulwaduud: By that point, we’d already laid out where we both stood, so it wasn’t a total surprise to her, just the timing.
Curious, Zhulaikah, how did it feel knowing this relationship wasn’t just about dating, but that marriage was always the end goal?
Zee: I’ll be honest. A big mindshift had to happen before I could proceed. I’d taken a break from dating, but I’d also told myself that the next relationship I found myself in had to be worthwhile. I probably wasn’t expecting things to move so fast, but at the end of the day, we both wanted the same things.
Got it. What were the early days of the relationship like?
Zee: Sweet. We grew closer and really got into the whole getting-to-know-each-other-properly phase. I think what I liked most was how intentional we were about ensuring our values aligned before committing to something deeper. The early days felt like we each had an individual checklist to tick off.
Abdulwaduud: I think the highlight of our early days was her mother getting to know me. I was still wearing braids during that period, and that sort of rubbed off on her first impression of me.
Oh
Zee: So here’s the thing. I hadn’t told my mum directly about Abdulwaduud; I’d only mentioned it to my aunt, thinking it would stay private for a while. Somehow, it got back to my mum anyway, and she called me with questions.
When I finally spoke to her, I made the mistake of showing her his Instagram page, thinking she’d be impressed by his work. Instead, she fixated on the fact that he plaits his hair. She felt that would attract a lot of women around him and wasn’t comfortable with it. I told her to just speak to him directly before judging by what she saw. I gave her his number, they talked, and by the next call, she’d completely changed her tune. She only had positive things to say and said she wanted to meet me. I still don’t know what he said to charm her.
Did you consider cutting your hair after hearing her mum’s concern, Abdulwaduud?
Abdulwaduud: Not at all. Even before Zee became my wife, she loved my hair and how I styled it however I wanted. Funny enough, I now need her permission before I even think about doing anything funny with my hair. She loves how I take care of my hair and even invests in it herself now. People assume it’s a simple decision I can make alone, but that’s not my call to make by myself anymore.
Aside from the hair drama, were there any other things you had to navigate in the relationship?
Zee: Nothing that felt alarming. It was a discovery period for both of us, but it also brought understanding. For instance, he found out I don’t particularly enjoy cooking, even though I can cook. I spent a lot of time in the kitchen growing up, and I just don’t enjoy it the same way anymore.
Abdulwaduud: That one was karma for me, honestly. I also don’t like cooking, but I still fell for someone who isn’t big on spending time in the kitchen. However, as she said, these weren’t major issues that shifted anything about our relationship or how we felt for each other.
Food means a lot to me, and there’s an emotional element to it for me that goes beyond just eating. So we had to have conversations about it. I told her that I’d always pictured building a food plan with my wife, having someone who’d help keep me on track and just enjoying home-cooked meals rather than eating out. It was kind of crushing to find out she wasn’t big on it. But we found a way around it.
Nice. What was the solution?
Zee: First off, he made it clear that it wasn’t about him demanding I cook every day; it was more about figuring out conditions that would make it feel less like an obligation for me. And for me, those conditions were a kitchen environment that actually feels homely, room to communicate honestly about when I’m up for it and when I’m not.
Abdulwaduud: Exactly, she laid out what would help her feel supported, and I worked towards meeting those conditions.
Speaking of shared activities, how did the marriage conversation pick up pace?
Abdulwaduud: I was constantly bringing it up to the point where I was rushing everyone around me. I wanted everything done by July, and it felt unbelievable to me that it stretched into November. I was the one pushing hardest for us to meet each other’s families early.
Zee: Marriage was always part of the conversation from the start, so it was really just about deciding when. I’ll admit I was the one holding things back a bit; in my head, I kept thinking it was too early, too fast. We eventually agreed on a date around June, after my birthday, and decided on August for the Nikah.
Wait. Just six months into dating? Was there any pushback from family or friends about the pace of things?
Zee: My family, aside from my mum, definitely thought we were moving too fast at first. They had all these questions about how long we’d known each other and were genuinely concerned. But once they actually met Abdulwaduud and spoke to him, their whole tone changed. It happened every single time.
Abdulwaduud: On my side, though, my family had a lot of concerns about my readiness. My grandma had been on my case for years to get married, so the pace itself wasn’t the issue.
But my family wanted to be sure I could actually provide for and properly care for a wife. They wondered whether I could sort out my own living arrangements and all the practical things needed to set up a family. They also asked both of us to do genotype and health checks. It felt less like doubt and more like making sure we were both truly prepared, especially since I come from a broken family and had always been deliberate about not rushing that particular decision. It was one of the most emotionally demanding moments for me because my relatives kept grilling me. They just wanted to make sure I knew what I was signing up for.
So when did you guys get married?
Abdulwaduud: We had our Nikah ceremony in August, and then a larger event in November, where our families invited guests and partied. Honestly, that gap in between wasn’t for us; it was for our families, giving them time to prepare and invite people properly. If it were up to me, we’d have done both on the same day and moved on with our lives.
Oh. Does this mean you still lived apart after your Nikah ceremony?
Zee: Yes. We didn’t start living together as a couple until after the wedding reception in November.
Got it. Were the early days of marriage any different to when you were dating?
Abdulwaduud: Not entirely. But this time around, we lived together and that naturally required some adjustment.
I think the hardest part for me was more about the hard work and financial commitment it took to set up a home. It came with a lot more logistics than I expected. It was overwhelming in ways I hadn’t fully prepared for, but that moment also brought us closer. We were figuring it all out together, learning each other’s love language and what I’d call our fight language, too.
Zee: It’s just like he said. We had to make some adjustments, mostly around how we handled issues. I’m naturally slower to process issues. And that’s something that even showed up during the marriage conversation itself. I was the one wanting to take more time, while he was ready to move quickly.
But even when we have small disagreements or differences of opinion, communication has always been our greatest strength. We’ve always been able to talk things through until we land on something solid.
But have you two ever had a major fight, though?
Abdulwaduud: I think we’ve had a couple, but honestly, I can’t pinpoint one specifically. Whatever tension comes up usually dies the moment we actually talk it through, so it stops feeling like a big deal in hindsight. One example that comes to mind is about how I handle confrontation. She doesn’t love it when I get vocal with people, like okada riders driving recklessly.
There was a day when one nearly hit us twice while we were carrying a passenger, and I got out of the car to address it. She really hated it. But for me, my first instinct in that moment was more about collective responsibility, correcting bad behaviour before it affects someone else.
Zee: I felt like I wasn’t really being heard in that moment. The guy already apologised. If I were the one driving, my first instinct would’ve been to accept the apology and move on quickly. But Abdulwaduud has his own way of handling things, and many times that means confrontation.
Anyway, we talked it through afterwards, and I helped him understand that he could at least have listened to me in that moment. Honestly, we do a lot of talking in this relationship. That’s really our bag. There’s no issue we’ve never been able to navigate after a conversation where both parties share how they’re feeling.
Neat. How would you each say this relationship has changed you?
Abdulwaduud: My sense of responsibility, mostly. I never realised how intertwined my choices would become with someone else’s feelings until we got married. I’ve also realised how much I still have to learn. I used to think I had everything figured out, but being with her taught me that two different perspectives can both be true at once, and that’s been humbling. She’s taught me patience in ways I didn’t know I needed, and I’m endlessly grateful to have someone patient enough to walk me through things until I truly understand them.
Zee: I’ve learned to talk about things more in the moment instead of needing days to process before addressing anything. That’s been a real shift for me, and it’s made things easier between us over time. I genuinely believe our communication is the best thing about this marriage; without it, I think we’d have struggled a lot more than we have.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?
Abdulwaduud: A 10. We still have a lot to learn about each other, but we’re doing it together, and our communication is what makes that possible.
Zee: I’ll also say a 10. If there’s anything shaky in this relationship, it’s never been our love for each other; that part has always felt certain. Everything else, we’re building intentionally, together.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
